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BoundNoMore 28-07-2008 05:04 AM

*hugs her God-mommy*
I hope you sleep good tonight

~*forever_broken*~ 28-07-2008 05:06 AM

I've got to go to sleep y'all.

*cuddles* PM box is always open... And I will get back to you but it may take me a bit... Damn depression makes everything harder even caring for those you love.

*retreats to her corner with her blanket, stuffed lamb, and pillow*

BoundNoMore 28-07-2008 05:07 AM

Well Susan...
could you maybe... I mean... would you be willing to...
maybe make me a kind of "security blanket" thing?
(I feel like a retard for even asking)

~*forever_broken*~ 28-07-2008 05:12 AM

*hugs Amanda* thankyou dear.

*grabs Jeff and hugs him tight*
You are NOT stupid, you are my uncle and you are lovely.

And Amanda *squishes* you are NOT retarded and that is a perfectly reasonable request. Want to know what I do when I (have the money) feel really awful and am down town? I buy a throw pillow and/or blanket... Because they are comforting, they offer a sense of security.

*cuddles everyone and returns to her corner*


blondiebear 28-07-2008 05:13 AM

yep. I make prayer shawls. I have two of them myself. Those are easy and can be worn in public, a kind of security blanket to wear in public. I crochet them.

Go to the Lion Yarn web site, and tell me what color of their "Homespun" yarn that you want. Don't order it or anything, I can get it less expensively than that! The shawl takes three "skeins."

Does that sound like a good idea? Or would you like something bigger?

blondiebear 28-07-2008 05:14 AM

Oh yeah, I also have a stuffed animal, a pink pig. It was a gift from my brother-friend. I tied a rose pink ribbon around its neck and named it Fred-fred.

Jeff, you are not at all stupid. Besides, i thought you were our token geek? And geeks run the world.

BoundNoMore 28-07-2008 05:17 AM

what website is that?

BoundNoMore 28-07-2008 05:19 AM

*huggles your daddy tight*

Casper_Fading 28-07-2008 05:25 AM

*hugs amanda* it's special... let it shine and i'll guide you through

*cuddles ally* g'night sweetheart!

*cuddles jeff* stay, talk to us!

*cuddles susan* you're lovely dear :) thank you for being you

*retunrs to invisibility cloak, hides where no one can find her*

blondiebear 28-07-2008 05:30 AM

I don't remember the exact name of the site. Just type lion yarn into your search engine.

Brother, you're not doing something stupid. You're coping, just like the rest of us do.

Oh yeah, in case you hadn't figured it out, i've adopted you. Hope that's okay?

BoundNoMore 28-07-2008 05:40 AM

I am a bit confused... are all the fabrics "homespun"...
or just certain ones? (there are 44 different ones on the home page)

blondiebear 28-07-2008 05:49 AM

Brother! I've adopted you as my "little" brother, since your neice, forever lost, is my daughter. And I'm a couple of years older than you are.

Homespun is one of the brands of yarn that Lion Yarns sells. Gimme a minute.

blondiebear 28-07-2008 05:52 AM

http://www.lionbrand.com/cgi-bin/yar...ageLength=1 5

I've made one shawl in "gothic" and one in "mediterranian"

BoundNoMore 28-07-2008 06:31 AM

I like "Praire" and "lavender sachet"

effervescence 28-07-2008 07:33 AM


Originally Posted by <alive> (Post 958230)
*drags chloe under the invisibility cloak and lei's her*

i feel violated.

i havent heard from him since he got angry and went offline this morning :(

see my psych tomorrow thank god.

really REALLY want to cut. badly. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

blondiebear 28-07-2008 07:33 AM

Okay, send me an email? I prefer my address be not available to the whole RYL community.

No charge for the time, cause i do it when I sit in aa meetings. No exact promises on when it will be done either though. Okay?

blondiebear 28-07-2008 07:34 AM

*cuddles chloe*

Auburn Shadow 28-07-2008 07:54 AM

*cuddles everyone who wants/needs*

Sorry haven't been around much recently, have been helping out on camp with youth club. Back home now, very tired and extremely triggered, but I don't know why :S

1ofmany 28-07-2008 09:25 AM

Got some sleep, dreams were longer then the sleep...why did I have to wake up? I wish I could dream my life.
*fixes breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on time zone for people*

Casper_Fading 28-07-2008 09:32 AM

violated? I think not! YOu loved it and I KNOW you did! *cuddles*

*cuddles the world*

*curls up* my hand in bleeding through my bandage... oh dear.

zowie 28-07-2008 10:14 AM

Crisis team only took me on for the night until Monday when the EIP team will be around. I didn't call them because I thought 'what good can they do? They'll just tell me to watch tv or read a magazine'.
Considered removing my bandages (done at A&E) and SHing again, but managed not to.
Feeling really low but can't tell my dad because he'll say it's because I drank wine last night.

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 10:18 AM

wish i could make shawls i bet they look beautiful blondie, how is your hand now jess?
how is everyone else today? i am feeling all dopy from my meds which is tough when i am looking after the kids :(

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 10:20 AM

*hugs zowie if hugs are wanted*
sorry things are tough but well done for resisting the urge to SI

1ofmany 28-07-2008 10:30 AM

I am already eating sweets...who needs pills when there is copious amonts of chocolate around!

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 10:42 AM

can i haves some please? moght give me the kick i need lol

Casper_Fading 28-07-2008 10:47 AM

i now have a headache... it's still bleeding through, but not much. almost stopped i think

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 10:53 AM

*gives jess magic plaster*

1ofmany 28-07-2008 10:56 AM

*Hands out chocies*
Just found a recipie for some brownies think i will have to make some!

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 11:00 AM

that sound good and thanks for the chocs!

effervescence 28-07-2008 11:06 AM

put more bandage over the top.

brownies sound great. but not for me, i've already had lots of choc today.

*cuddles all round*

zowie 28-07-2008 11:31 AM

Hugs are nice, thank you.
Called EIP woman and am waiting for her to call back as she was in a meeting.

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 11:54 AM

i am glad you called her zowie, well done xx

Auburn Shadow 28-07-2008 01:07 PM

Well done for calling her Zowie. *hugs*

Hope it stops bleeding soon, Jess, but put extra bandage over the top *massive hugs*

*hugs everyone else who wants/needs*

Managed to catch up on some sleep since camp, not feeling quite so triggered anymore. Almost slipped up on Saturday night, but one of the other leaders came in and we had a chat. She's going to help me when I get back to uni. Said she knows some people that will be able to help me to "cure" everything in my past, although of course everything takes time. I don't quite know how I feel anymore, but... still struggling not to cut.

1ofmany 28-07-2008 01:17 PM

T-minus 30 mins untill brownies. Think I may have found a good distraction...although i dont know if my parents would aprciate me bakeing cakes in the middle of the night. I do enjoy cooking (although eating is great!)
You have something positive ahead Hana! Untill then talk to us and find distractions untill the urges fade.

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 01:18 PM

yes we are here to listen and munch on brownies ;)

1ofmany 28-07-2008 01:20 PM

:D I hope they turn out ok :S

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 01:29 PM

i am sure they will be brownielicious!

Auburn Shadow 28-07-2008 01:33 PM

I'm sure the brownies will be great :)

My cousin's in hospital at the moment, but I'm ok about that, because she's only in for a fairly simple operation.
Nothing happened on Saturday, nothing really, I just went into semi-automatic mode. My friend was worried about me apparently and went to ask Ruth (leader) to go and find out if I was OK and everything.
She found me with blade in hand, but hadn't cut. She said to me that she'd experienced the same thing at my age, and so she understood where I was mentally at that moment, wanted to know why, but I didn't know why.
She told me that she was adopted, and sometimes she'd get angry for no reason. Her anger was road rage, and once I told her I was adopted too, she thought, maybe that was why I got the urges just then. Urges are still here, but I want to get to 5 months free, and I don't want to slip up this close.

Heh, that was long. Sorry! Don't know if any of it makes sense either :S

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 01:36 PM

you are doing so well and to be that close to cutting and nor doing it you should be proud *hugs* i hope your cousin is ok xx

Auburn Shadow 28-07-2008 01:51 PM

All going well she'll be back out tomorrow.

I wish I could feel proud, but... it's just the only reason I didn't is because of Ruth walking in.

I suppose I feel good that after the talk, she said if I still needed to do anything, then she would understand completely, but that I had to promise to let her clean it afterwards. But I didn't need to after, the urges were going, and... I found more distractions in rounders and waterfights.

Still, started smoking again while I was up there. I think I need to concentrate on giving up one thing at a time. I dunno...

blue_cloud 28-07-2008 04:13 PM

i would agree one thing at a time is plenty to try to give up. you should feel proud cos even after ruth left you still didn't do it!
how did the brownies turn out many?

blondiebear 28-07-2008 04:16 PM

Ooh, brownies! Save one for me.

It is okay to give up one thing at a time. If I had to do it all over again when I gave up alcohol, I'd do it the same way.

I never thought of being able to make shawls a gift, or the sewing I do. It was just one more thing that makes me weird.

1ofmany 28-07-2008 04:19 PM

Not too bad, nice and gooey but hold together! Wish i could e-mail you some! I've had a sugar rush and am now feeling tired, so am on fruit to make up for the sweets!

blondiebear 28-07-2008 04:58 PM

send the recipe?
Here we have a mix too, it is called no pudge fudge. To make it up, we add non fat yogurt. just thinking about it makes my teeth ache!

1ofmany 28-07-2008 05:12 PM

This one has lots of sugar! I will type it out and PM you will put ounces and grams on it.

Auburn Shadow 28-07-2008 05:15 PM

Any chance I can get a copy of the recipe too? Sounds like a great distraction technique, and yummy too!

1ofmany 28-07-2008 05:20 PM

Yeh sure! Am just copying it out now! If anyone else wants it just ask :D

dontcare 28-07-2008 06:21 PM

mmmm - sounds nice - it might even be enough to entice me out of my corner - well long enough to get the recipe anyway!!!!
Have decided my corner is boring - am fed up of looking at plain walls and ignoring everyone.
....................slowly creeps out of corner to smell the brownies!!!

1ofmany 28-07-2008 07:10 PM

where has everyone gone?

Detour. Derail 28-07-2008 07:15 PM

*jumps out from behind a sofa*

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