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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Katch 19-05-2008 07:43 PM

Alyssa,
Your'e not worthless but you probably do have to study. You may not know wat you want from life at the moment - but I know that you hope that one day you will feel like living because you will be happy enough to want to do so. I hope your therapy goes well today - I'm sure it's a pain but I think it will be worth it.
I wish we had a real ward we could go to - where it was just all of us - actually sitting and chatting and most importantly listening. It would be so good.
xxx

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 08:56 PM

Hey guys....Jess wants adopting....and the adoption thread is being rubbbiiissshhhh :/

any takers?;]
hehe

Automatik Teknicolour 19-05-2008 09:00 PM

I figured you'd end up doing this :-p

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 09:03 PM

^_^ that is coz you is my wifey :D

Katch 19-05-2008 09:10 PM

Well, I still only have a niece and a daughter - so I could do with another member to my RYL family - let me know if you want - I know you don't know me but I'm nice....

Automatik Teknicolour 19-05-2008 09:14 PM

They'll be no takers either :-p

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Automatik Teknicolour (Post 775225)
They'll be no takers either :-p

ehhhh:notsure:

MammaMia 19-05-2008 09:32 PM

Well I have a big RYL family...wanna join mine? :P

Pomegranate 19-05-2008 09:38 PM

*Walks in, bangs head against the floor and then heads to the corner with lots of alcohol*

Today:

I saw my new CPN for the first time today. She was lovely and I felt fairly positive about the whole thing until she made one stupid comment, one which I know is true but now I hate her. It's ridiculous. I hate this whole love/hate/love/hate thing I do its retarded and at the same time as hating her, I really don't want her to hate me.

I also heard from the wife (and an ex friend sort of) of the guy I slept with and ended up living with when I was 17 for a year. I really really cared for this guy and the whole situation got so complicated. I miss the friendship with his wife (she got me to stop self harming when I was 16, took me in when I ran away from home and was seriously screwed up), but I also remember how she eventually abused that trust, like really did (before I slept with him). I don't know what to do, I am torn.

I AM SICK OF PEOPLE WANTING STUFF FROM ME, SMALL THINGS LIKE DIARIES, TIME, FAVOURS, FORMS, ESSAYS, PROMISES, ENERGY, EVERYTHING. I want to be left alone. That's all.

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 09:41 PM

EMMA!!!! *pounces*
Im sorry about your CPN hun...you wanna talk about it?
*hugs*

Katch 19-05-2008 09:46 PM

Emma, sending you a big hug -
If I knew a place where wishes came true I'd go there to make a wish for you. I'd wish for you to be happy in life and not feel as though you had all these demands made of you. Here if you need or want to chat. xxx

blondiebear 19-05-2008 10:06 PM

I finally heard from my 17 year old friend. Thank God! She will be okay.

I finally finished the shirts I had planned to finish Saturday! I phoned the client as soon as they were done. Next project after lunch is the sailboat thingies.

Hey Monarkh, it is a dry heat and that does make all the difference! When I've visited Georgia to spend time with family, it has felt like I've been swimming in a pool that is way too hot!

Alyssa please take it from someone who has graduated. Study even if you don't feel like it because it is even worse if you don't!

I want to send a message to my husband then I need lunch. I was hungry two hours ago but wanted to finish those shirts!

Katch 19-05-2008 10:13 PM

Well, I came in, I left a message of support - waited for any hello's, people left, waited again, still no response. Feel a bit alone now - think I should go and leave you all to it. In real life I seem to walk into a room and people leave and conversations stop - must be me - sorry.
Sorry - I wanted company - sorry for driving you away - sorry for being a bit needy right now. and lastly sorry for saying how I feel - but i had to - it's my new rule to myself for a bit..

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 10:14 PM

Katch hunni !!! :(
I want you here!!
*Hugs tightly*
Please stay?

BoundNoMore 19-05-2008 10:18 PM

Katch... please stay... we love you (((hugs))) the only I haven't responded is because I just woke up.

MammaMia 19-05-2008 10:20 PM

Emma, *snuggles* I'm sorry people are asking for so much :( I'm sorry she made that comment too and the whole love/hate thing xx It's like I've been seeing my counsellor for over a year, I've always got on with her. At one point she really started annoying me but tbh she was right and I just couldn't see that. I'm so glad I went back twice before my 18th, and then was made to go back after. It's much easier now...cus I know I can trust her and she'll understand. I'm gonna miss her :( Sorry started rambling...

Katch, I want you to stay :(

BoundNoMore 19-05-2008 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katch (Post 775206)
Well, I still only have a niece and a daughter - so I could do with another member to my RYL family - let me know if you want - I know you don't know me but I'm nice....

I wanna be in your family!!!

MammaMia 19-05-2008 10:23 PM

*hides in a corner and then cries*

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 10:24 PM

helen sweety?
*coaxes you out*

MammaMia 19-05-2008 10:27 PM

*hides some more*

Meh. I really don't know if I'll ever be happy again. Why is it I ALLOW things to ruin my good mood so easily >.<

Pomegranate 19-05-2008 10:33 PM

*hugs Helen* what's up sweetie? x

BoundNoMore 19-05-2008 10:38 PM

Helen, sweetie, please talk to us... we wanna help

Pomegranate 19-05-2008 10:47 PM

heya Helen, I'm going to go offline for a little bit but I will be back later. I have my phone with me if you want to text, bit difficult to talk though atm xx

MammaMia 19-05-2008 10:48 PM

*hugs Emma & Amanda*

I don't know what's wrong really. Well I do, my heart is aching for something I can't have (yet!). Plus I hate goodbyes and I know I'm making it easier for myself by starting the one with Tina & Jess already....but all this saying goodbye stuff seems to just go all back to my dad i.e. reminding me of when he walked out on us saying that he'd be back *cries* He obviously never came back.

I'm so stressed at the moment. I'm worried about my best friend, she may have re-broken her coycx and is going up to A&E tomorrow to check. So fingers crossed she hasn't :( Then if one of my online friends die I will for some reason feel resposible....cus I didn't really listen to her. Not cus I'm mean, just cus I was spending time with people =] and for others reasons.

I'm scared about my exam. I'm trying to be positive about it. I just wish it was over & done with now. I really really really do. Because I'm so scared I'm going to **** up......and also have a complete breakdown like I did last time. I promised Tina I wouldn't, but guhhhh I dunno. But it might not happen cus my counsellor has referred me to see someone else who's on the counselling team at my college to have an appointment on relaxation techniques...but one dodgy problem. I know that she goes through stuff with you but you have to have your eyes shut. I can't do that >.< I really bloody panic and I HAVE to see people's mouths otherwise I can't always hear them. Ah I'll just explain....

Plus I have a health worry on my mind grrrr! Just waiting to see if it's hormonal first, cus I don't wanna freak out if it's gonna buggar off in next couple of days. Also today I was really dizzy :S I was quite scared actually cus when I went to counselling, I landed on my seat pretty hard cus I thort I'd missed it and I hadn't.

Why did he have to stress me out further by extending the deadline. It's good cus I can finish my work off and all. But grrrrr cus I wanted to hand it all in today >_<

BoundNoMore 19-05-2008 10:57 PM

BIG cuddles Helen. Stress is no fun.

irkeninvader 19-05-2008 10:59 PM

Wow there's a lot of posts to read since last night... I think that's why this thread intimidates me so much lol.

Alexx - I can see what you mean about the fire. Fire and the sea are awe-inspiring powers.

Blondiebear - I'm glad you finally heard about your friend, that must be a weight off your mind.

*hugs Pomegranate* I don't want any of those things from you, I just hope you can feel better soon.

*hugs Katch* People don't leave because you come in hun. It's taking me forever to get through all these new posts, hah! It's good that you're saying how you feel though, never be sorry for that.

*hugs Hells* Sorry you're feeling so stressed right now. Has it helped to talk about it?

*hugs everyone else that I may have missed* so many posts... I did read them all I just can't compute replies to all of them.

It took me so long to read all those posts... :crazy: It was worth it though :pinch:

Automatik Teknicolour 19-05-2008 10:59 PM

If anybody wants to talk tonight, feel free to PM me :-)

Detour. Derail 19-05-2008 10:59 PM

Helen Im so sorry everything is so hard for you right now...I wish i could help in some wayy :(
*huggles*

MammaMia 19-05-2008 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bound by Thoughts (Post 775600)
BIG cuddles Helen. Stress is no fun.

Nah it's not :( *big cuddles*

I feel like I still have so much more to say about me :notsure: But I don't know what.

MammaMia 19-05-2008 11:03 PM

Ah, I remembered another thing I was going to say which is really not helping me. I got offered again to join a night out on Saturday. Bearing in mind most of us will have to avoid getting drunk because we have work the next day. I really want to go. I don't ever get invited out out proper, and the times I do....I usually have to end up saying no :(

~*forever_broken*~ 19-05-2008 11:57 PM

Katch, luv, I'm so sorry. I popped in and out a few times while doing research for a paper I have to write (10-14 pages:pinch:) for next Thursday. We love you sweetie, please stay... I need my Auntie *snuggles*

Helen I'm sorry you're having such a time of it. Stress is a bear. *hugs*

Emma, luv, I'm sorry you feel so used and at the end of your rope. *snuggles* you are such a support for so many and that gets tiering after a while. Please just take some Emma time... Even if it's just laying in bed staring at the ceiling (not very productive but I do it a lot *shrug*). Take care hun.
-----------------
Therapy SUCKED. For some reason, after asking about suicidal thoughts, cutting, and alcohol use, he started talking about guilt. Ok, not too bad, I already know I do guilt really well. Some how we got to graduation and what I was going to do after that... We talked about that for a while and then he asked me how it was for me in that moment. I told him I was a little on edge. When asked why I said it was because I don't like talking about graduation. That was really only part of it, something that irritated what was really beneath it. I wanted to tell him but I didn't. Finally I just told him. I am done. Just done. I can't explain it more than that. I'm just done... It's really rather matter of fact. The upsetting part is that, while I'm done... I'm really not. I'm still alive... And at this point I'm medicated well enough that I'm not sure I could kill myself. I even told him I wished I could stop taking my meds so I'd feel worse and be able to do it. It's just not fair. I am DONE!!! Why can't my life be over?:crying:

All that and I didn't wind up in hospital:blink:... I think maybe I should be though:crying: but there's no way I'm gonna tell anyone that (other than you lovely people).

*collapses in her corner and sobs* thank God I can cry in here because in real life I would love to... But can't:crying:

Auburn Shadow 19-05-2008 11:58 PM

*curls in a corner and cries*

*hugs everyone*

Sorry, I have no words...

~*forever_broken*~ 20-05-2008 12:01 AM

Oh and Jess, you can be in my famile...if you want...

~*forever_broken*~ 20-05-2008 12:08 AM

*hugs Hana*
No worries sweetie.

Auburn Shadow 20-05-2008 12:16 AM

*hugs back*

Thanks hun.

~*forever_broken*~ 20-05-2008 12:20 AM

Any time :-)

Detour. Derail 20-05-2008 12:23 AM

Allllllyyyyyyyyy *sends you big hugs*
cheer up sweety
love you
xxxxx

Katch 20-05-2008 12:30 AM

(((((Sorry everyone)))))
I will be back tomorrow - I'm thinking of you all though and hope you forgive me for getting upset. Thta's how it has always been in my real life and the thought of it being the same on here really scares me - i'm not confident - ever - and since actually sharing my story even though I am feeling a bit better I am so scared that I am going to suddenly fall so very hard and be totally lost in the pain and never be able to get up again. - Really sorry. Love you all and you mean so much to me.

MammaMia 20-05-2008 12:30 AM

*snuggles Ally*

I am fearing for a friend's safety, I think her relationship with her boyf is getting abusive =( Dunno what to do.

~*forever_broken*~ 20-05-2008 12:32 AM

*sigh* if only I could luv...
Much love

Detour. Derail 20-05-2008 12:32 AM

Katch sweetheart, its ok to get upset. I think everyone is having abit of a tough time at the moment but no one is ignoring you or anything..I'm certainly not!!
Even if you do fall down...we are here to help pick you up. Please take care of yourself.
Talk to you soon
Alexx
xxxxx

Automatik Teknicolour 20-05-2008 12:33 AM

Katch, take care of yourself
Talk to you soon *massive hugs*
xxxxx

Detour. Derail 20-05-2008 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hells (Post 775855)
*snuggles Ally*

I am fearing for a friend's safety, I think her relationship with her boyf is getting abusive =( Dunno what to do.

Is there no way you could maybe talk to her? ask her whats going on?
Maybe she doesn't realise...(i know how easy it can be to not realise a relationship is harmful to you) Just be there for her hunni....be open and there whenever she needs you...thats all you can do really :-(
*hugs*

effervescence 20-05-2008 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zedmeister (Post 774055)
Yeah I remember...I miss her...I'm...not sure how I'm doing...I'm trying? Yeah. That's what I keep saying. I'm trying I'm trying. And failing. And trying. And failing s'more.
*tries to curl up even smaller*
Just want it all to go away....

i know honey i miss her too (i moved away). i will say hi to her from you. i will tell her you are still here and still talking and still trying, ok?
take care

MammaMia 20-05-2008 12:51 AM

Alex, I did try talk to her and get her realise. Don't think it worked :( Funny how nobody made me see I was in two abusive relationships *cries*

*hides again*

effervescence 20-05-2008 12:54 AM

hi everyone.
this damn time difference makes it hard to reply to everyone, there's always about 5 pages and i DO read it but its just hard to keep up.

ally, have you had exam yet? if so how did it go?

susan im glad your friend will be ok.

katch, im sorry you are feeling a bit, left out? its just difficult to keep up.....hope you are feeling better today.

helen and alexx, how goes?

emma, i wish everyone would leave me alone too and stop needing me to pass stupid exams like chemistry. please stay safe honey.

*hugs to all*

-----------------

I feel awful today. there is nobody to talk to out of the 3 people i know at uni, they are all frantically studying for exams and dont want to talk. i should be revising, hell i should be at lectures, but i just cant. i hate that academic stuff is so important where really it means **** all, it doesnt matter, ts not whats important in life.
the only things that matter are the people you love, and being with them and having fun but i cant do that cos everyone i love is miles away.
and my cousin is still in hospital. he's been in 16 days now, and he still isnt gtting better. ****ing ****.

Detour. Derail 20-05-2008 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hells (Post 775931)
Alex, I did try talk to her and get her realise. Don't think it worked :( Funny how nobody made me see I was in two abusive relationships *cries*

*hides again*

It might take more time hun...abusive guys can be really manipulative. Just be there for her no matter what yeh?
Sometimes people dont know how to approach it...or dont know what signs to look for :(

Detour. Derail 20-05-2008 01:00 AM

Hey Chloe...you wanna talk in here hun?

I'm...ok...just..stupid stuff is sinking in... but anywayyyys.

effervescence 20-05-2008 01:08 AM

what stupid stuff?

i just had a rant in my thread about the state of the world. fuel prices and global warming and stuff. its really depressing me lately.

which is really annoying, cos its something i cant do anything about.

Detour. Derail 20-05-2008 01:14 AM

Due to housing inspectors surveying the house for this exchange...I've been kicked out of my room because its a "health risk" due to a lack of a window...so i have to sleep on a camp bed for the next 2 and a half monthes whilst mum uses my room for storage.
PLUS
she butted in AGAIN by talking to my bloody crisis team "leader" (using the term lightly because i hate her) and mum and dad had ANOTHER go at me for not involving them. I dont want them to be involved. I want to do this on my own. I CAN do it on my own. without them and their 'support' so on Thursday...I'm going to go to be appointment then discharge myself. End of.
The most annoying thing?...I would have had this beat 3 YEARS AGO had my mum not stuck her nose in. its like she's suffering more than me!! shes not the one carrying the mental and physical scars is she!!
I HATE HER ><
She STILL thinks I'm attention seeking....she can die for all I care....
As soon as I move out....I'm cutting them out of my life FOREVER


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