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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 18-08-2010 10:46 AM

*Hugs Taz* Ohh did getting your wisdom teeth out hurt , I hope your mouth feels better soon :)

*Hugs Oliver* Yey! I'm glad they let you be who you are at the orchestra :)

*Hugs April* I'm sorry you got triggered by that book but it's GOOD that you dont'c want to hurt yourself :)

Doikers 18-08-2010 10:56 AM

*Hugs Heather*I sometimes hate days of nothing but thinking so empathise with you there :S

*Hugs Kahlia* I hope your Oven and e-mail get sorted soon :)

*Hugs Steph* good luck with your CPN.

*Hugs Laura ,I'm sorry you are so stressed , Please try not to cut:( You are a wonderful person .

Doikers 18-08-2010 01:05 PM

*spots April and Oliver* :)

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 01:07 PM


I just want to disappear...

Sorry about no individuals, feel like a lame wardie. :(

Doikers 18-08-2010 01:11 PM

*Huge Hugs April* Are you okay?

katnovia 18-08-2010 02:43 PM


Doikers 18-08-2010 02:47 PM

Kat!!:) Hi *Hugs* How are you ?

MammaMia 18-08-2010 02:50 PM

Hi Kat :D

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 02:59 PM

No, tbh, I'm not okay. I had a really bad flashback-y night last night & the feelings are still somewhat with me. My r/v has more about it in it. :( I just feel so damn alone and scared... I'm at my parents' right now to avoid a stupid realtor lady (the one that was supposed to come and didn't, and then tried to get in without knocking awhile ago)... because she's not very nice and 3 other tenants have complained about her other than us!!! So yeah. Anyway. At least I'm somewhere with other people, although I can't play WoW here *insert sad face* ahahaha... :-X

*hides in the warren & rips up paper*

Doikers 18-08-2010 03:06 PM

*Hugs April* I'm sorry that book triggered you like it did :( and the realtor woman doesn't sound like a person you should need to deal with right now , I can't beleive she tried to let herself in!! Hmmm * Finds in the warren and sits with *

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 03:10 PM

*curls up next to Mark and tries to feel better* :( Yeah, I really don't need to deal with the realtor lady, she is really nasty and all. Soo... it was either stay home with the lights off (lol) or come to my parents' place where there would be other people home to "ground" me if I got spacy... so I chose parents' house. Wise choice I think, although it's going to be difficult to find things to do until this afternoon. Heh. Oh well.

I hate SA stuff. I just want to disappear... :'(

misskitty112 18-08-2010 03:37 PM

*hugs everyone*

I kinda hate everything about uni and classes and scheduling and running across campus.

SoMuchMore 18-08-2010 04:15 PM

*runs in freaking out and yelling*
I havent been this anxious in a really really long time. Going to take my test in about an hour. Wish me luck.

I'll do individuals later, hopefully afterward the test when my nerves have calmed.

MammaMia 18-08-2010 04:19 PM

Good luck Laura *cuddles*

I'm seriously over today. Have been since 3am. Can we just skip the next 23 hours or so please? To 3pm tomorrow??? I'm ****ing exhausted, today keeps getting worse and on top of everything else, it's not what I need. I'm so ****ing triggered. I actually feel ready to explode.

*hides and cries*

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 04:24 PM

*cuddles Laura & Hels* Sorry both of you feel like utter crap. I can empathize. Wish there were summat I could do to help you because I definitely would. :(

*cuddles Felicia* I can understand why you'd hate it, but remember, you only have a year or two left (sorry can't remember your year :-X). Then FREEDOM (and a job... ick, haha). Sorry I'm not more helpful right now, head's kinda in the clouds.

My mum & I just made up a huuuge batch of sugar cookies. It was a "together-thing," just me and her, so it was fun, but I'm scared that I'm going to be bingeing on the cookies once I get home, as we're doing halves on the batch. :(

Just want to disappear, ****ing disappear, make it all goooooo away. :'(

MammaMia 18-08-2010 04:34 PM

*hugs April tightly*

PoisonedApple 18-08-2010 04:52 PM

*hugs everyone*
forgot to mention I was changing my user name
<-- see?--

glad you got to be yourself this trip Oliver :)

*offers April hugs n plushies*Sorry you'r having flashbacks and feeling crap...

hope your computer and oven get worked out soon Kahlia

that's all the indiv. i was going to do that i can remember atm... sorry.

*hugs everyone*

Doikers 18-08-2010 05:30 PM

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Laura* Good luck with your test !:)

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Crimson*

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 06:41 PM

*cuddles Crimson & Mark*

I am so exhausted. It's ridiculous really. I took a nap - about an hour long, little less - and am still so damn drowsy. I hate it. :(

Thanks Crimson, for the support. *takes plushie and snuggles it* Why'd you change your username? j/w. :) And how are you doing?? haven't written much lately... which is fine, just curious as to how things are going. And Mark, how are you today??

So... silly me... read another book... and got triggered again... STUPID ****ING SA ****!!!!!!!! *deep breath out, whoosh* Sorry... it's just really really starting to get on my nerves. :'(

*hides where no one can find her*

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 06:54 PM

Updated r/v again... :'(

misskitty112 18-08-2010 07:11 PM

*hugs April* I'll read your r/v in a minute.

So.. I got my major uni problem fixed. (My 9 AM class professor threatened to drop me from his class, which I need, cause my 8 AM professor lectured over her time, and I was late to my 9 AM class. Very triggering morning...) So... I'm done with class today and have the most daunting pile of work I've seen. Must. Get. Motivation.
Also, I had a boundaries talk with my roomie and feel exponentially better about being around her. yay!

Doikers 18-08-2010 08:03 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I'm glad you feel better after talking to your roommate , Wow 8 am classes! *Wishes you motivation* :)

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 08:31 PM

*cuddles Hels & Laura* How are you both doing now? Laura, how was your exam??

*cuddles Kat* How've you been doing, love?

Ugh, so hot and sticky here... (am back home now)... it's so NASTY. >_< Or maybe, I'm the one that's nasty... I don't know. :(

Did my "I don't want to thing of the day" - called an auto shop to schedule my car for an inspection and an oil change. Tomorrow afternoon. Woohoo. :-/ I have to go alone as well because my husband is off at work. Now THAT is going to be a hoot. >_< Not. If anything is wrong with her I'll be needing to call him because I won't have a flying **** what they're talking about. Hah.

So sorry about my language lately, apparently when things go badly I start swearing more?? I really don't know, and it's only on here... and in my LJ. :(

Doikers 18-08-2010 08:43 PM

*Hugs April* Well done for calling the car place and good luck with it tommorow . I just read your R/V thread and am sorry you got triggered :( <3 you

I have to have Lithium bloods taken tomorrow morning , Great I get to show off my scars to a new nurse ugh I HATE showing my arms/legs .

Then in the afternoon I have to do a CBT based lifstyle model with my usual nurse which I'm anxious about . SO umm thats tomorow for me Hmmm.

Scarletdreamer 18-08-2010 08:47 PM

Ooh good luck with the bloodwork & CBT lifestyle thingy. Remember that the nurses probably see scars a lot, either from SI or from other injuries, so it's not such a big deal to them. At least, as it would be to many people. I'm just bumbling now trying not to stick my foot into my mouth any further, ahahaha... sorry if that ^^ came out sounding wrong or something. I'm sorry if you've had bad treatment from nurses before. They really should be more used to it, or learn to cope with it, or something. I don't know. I'm rambling... :( Sorry. <3 you too. :)

What all does the CBT lifestyle thingy entail?? sounds interesting...

OH, and I mailed in my job app today... am terrified... :-S

*hides in the warren where it's cool & dark & where no one can find her* :(

Doikers 18-08-2010 08:54 PM

I don't know what it entails April , I am NOT looking forward to it , The first and only time I had CBT I found it VERY invasive (Right word?) , My nurse has actually outright said that she is going to be tougher on me , I guess it's for my own good though so I'll have to endure it :S

WELL DONE YOU!!!!!! for mailing your job application . I am a proud wardie :)

misskitty112 18-08-2010 09:26 PM

I finished my company profile on the Build-A-Bear company. yay Marketing homework! I still don't see why I need Marketing to get my emphasis in Journalism... but whatever.
Next on my list, read about 100 pages for Brit Lit I, read Chapter 1 for Marketing, do discussion questions for Marketing, and read Chapter 1 for History... ehhhh... Then tomorrow I'll have Creative Writing and News Reporting homework =/
I am going to die under a mountain of homework this semester.

Doikers 18-08-2010 09:28 PM

UGH! I'm triggered . 9 days I can't blow it now :S It's 9.28 pm and I am heading off to bed . Bed must be the best place for me.

"Asleep is the safest place you can be"

Doikers 18-08-2010 09:29 PM

Oh Felicia that sounds like a ton of work , try to take it in small bites , thats supposed to help :)

misskitty112 18-08-2010 09:29 PM

Goodnight, Mark. Sleep well *safe hugs*

SoMuchMore 18-08-2010 10:07 PM

*hugs helen* sorry that you had such a bad night/day and that you are feeling horrible. Here if you need anything.

*hugs mark* sleep well! 9 days is really great! i know you can keep going. Good luck with the CBT thing. Hope that it doesnt seem as intrusive as last time. Let us know how it is.

*hugs april* good job on turning in the application! I'm sorry your not doing very well right now. I am reading your r/v. Wish I had something helpful to say but i'm here if you need to talk at all hun.

*hugs felicia* wow thats a lot of work. Maybe make a schedule out for yourself so that it doesnt seem as overwhelming?

*hugs crimson* how r u doing? any better? I like your new username by the way.

*hugs kahlia, kat, steph, and everyone else*

Test was okay... not great.. hoping that other things like GPA and work experience will help with my application, oh and letters of recommendation. But it couldve been worse i guess. Don't know how else I am right now... just kind of existing. Gotta work tonight.

MammaMia 18-08-2010 10:45 PM

*cuddles all*

I need to find a way to get through rest of tonight & a good part of tomorrow..

PoisonedApple 18-08-2010 11:17 PM


Thanks Crimson, for the support. *takes plushie and snuggles it*
Of course and any time :)

Why'd you change your username? j/w. :) And how are you doing?? haven't written much lately... which is fine, just curious as to how things are going.
The other day when my husband was nosing around my laptop I worried that he nosed in my internet browser too... my RYL page is set to keep my name and pass so since I didn't know if he went to RYL or not or if he saw the name or not I figured I'd change the name and save myself some trouble...he didn't mention any threads just a convo log with a friend though so I didn't see any reason to get a whole new acct rather than changing my name.
Wow now if that isn't a long rambled version of an answer... sorry.
I'm doing better than I was Sunday/Monday, D apologized for snooping and getting pissed off. He also says he won't snoop again... But he isn't over statements made in March as to how I was doing *rollseyes* So now it's mostly a destress time for me... if it's possible.

PoisonedApple 18-08-2010 11:19 PM

Good night Mark. Sleep well.

Thanks Laura.

*sits with Helen*

*hugs everyone*

Kahlia1981 18-08-2010 11:27 PM

*huggles everyone*

So tired and stressed and feeling .... ick, bleh, meh ... i don't know. Really want to just disappear. *sigh*

Scarletdreamer 19-08-2010 01:37 AM

So. Over. All. Of. This.


Seriously. I can't be flipping out over SA because it's everywhere. :( Sadly. I wish I could erase it from this world because it never should have started in the first place... damn it all... I can't "just get over it" though because I guess I'm too ****ing sensitive?? I don't know. I just want to leave, get rid of my brain, I don't know, it's just hurting too much right now. I'm hurting too much right now.

Sorry, that was definitely a rant, and probably one that didn't make much sense. I'll be more coherent in the morning (hopefully) when I won't be so ****ing exhausted. Off to bed we go... hopefully to actually sleep in some comfort. It's really warm in here (the den where the comps are) but the rest of the apartment is cooling off some, windows open and fans a'blowing and all of that.

G'night wardies... (I'm always paranoid that when/if I say goodnight, I'm not going to sleep... lol... how silly is that??)

*curls up next to Mark and dozes off*

Detour. Derail 19-08-2010 02:01 AM

I dont want to do this anymore.
I nearly passed out at work from not eating.
I cant sleep at night.
My dreams are back.
I just want....I dont know...whats the point in wishing for things that wont come true anymore.

Detour. Derail 19-08-2010 04:27 AM

no ones in :(
*sits quietly and cries*

taz35 19-08-2010 04:41 AM

*cuddles up next to Lex and hands her tissues* I wish I had some good advice... but I don't :( So I'm sending lots and lots of virtual hugs instead!

*hugs April tightly* I'm sure you're not the only one who feels that way. I know a lot of times I wish I had never started... seems it would be easier than trying to stop =/

*hugs Kahlia and refuses to let her disappear*

*hugs Crimson*

*hugs Mark* I hate showing my scars to nurses too :( The one who helped the doctor with my wisdom teeth surgery commented on them, made me feel really awkward right as I was being put to sleep... NOT the best of times. Hope your CBT goes all right <3

*hugs everyone else* Sorry... 4 pages to try and reply to. I read all the replies though <3

Sleeping pills are kicking in... here's hoping for a relatively pain free and full night of sleep. I'll check back in the AM. 'Night wardies!

Detour. Derail 19-08-2010 04:47 AM

*sniffle* I need hugs right now...thankyou

misskitty112 19-08-2010 05:03 AM

*hugs Lex* sorry uni's keeping me busy, but I care, and I do read, I just can't always respond in a timely manner. *extra hugs*

Detour. Derail 19-08-2010 05:11 AM

its ok...uni is more important sweet!!
ill be ok :/

Detour. Derail 19-08-2010 05:15 AM

I cant do this :'(
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ***MAY TRIGGER SI AND/OR ED***

i need to cut
I love him coz he makes it hurt....
I drink becaause it hurts me...
I smoke because it hurts me...
I dont eat because it hurts me...
I need the pain...

I just had another panic attack :(

Doikers 19-08-2010 06:24 AM

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Lex*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Taz*

It's 6.18 am VERY early for me but I coulden't sleep , I am totally awake hmm. It's too early to put music on as I don't want to wake the neighbours at this hour . My kitchen smells funny since yesterday afternoon , I don't know what to do about it , sort of like very strong glue smell , Ive looked in my cupboard and behind my oven and fridge and generally poked about with my torch hmmm , I even stuck my head all over and sniffed but I can't find the smell . sorry . Any ideas ? hmm . It's not like I would have drop meat behind somewhere as I'm vegetarian so it can't be rotting meat . Again sorry to be gross.

Hmmm I don't know why I woke early but it's probably because I have appointments today and my mind is over-thinking, especially about the CBT one :S Arggg! I really don't want to be pushed out of my comfort zone and I KNOW this will do exactly that . Sorry.

Kahlia1981 19-08-2010 07:14 AM

Mark: A glue smell is likely to be a solvent but I'm not really able to help you 'cause there's several factors I don't know. A solvent could be paint in the neighbourhood, especially nearby and if windows are open. (Remember I'm not familiar with your climate). It could also be paint stripper which produces a solvent smell or you or one of your neighbours might have inadvertantly (sp?) spilled some solvents somewhere near an air entry point to your kitchen? I don't know, just some suggestions. Perhaps think back to yesterday afternoon and see if you can remember what was happening - in the neighbourhood, but only your area of it - when the smell started. Might be a bit complicated though.

*gently huggles Alex*

*cuddles Taz*

Doikers 19-08-2010 07:20 AM

*Hugs Kahlia*

Thanks for the advice , I'll go and smell outside in a bit , I've had another poke round with my torch this morning , pulled my oven out and everything, Heh , My kitchen window was shut , I've since opened it to help the smell dissapate.

SoMuchMore 19-08-2010 07:59 AM

*hugs everyone*

wish i could do more for you guys right now, but i just cant. i'm sorry.

Doikers 19-08-2010 08:07 AM

*Hugs Laura* No need to be sorry , You have to look after yourself first and foremost .Am thinking of you :) Sending positive vibes whilst I feel positive (ish).

SoMuchMore 19-08-2010 08:10 AM

*hugs mark* glad your feeling positive-ish. thanks for thinking of me. just had a bad night. ill be fine.

flutterby butterfly 19-08-2010 10:36 AM

*sits in a dark corner & drags duvet over head*

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