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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 08-02-2010 11:03 PM

*hides in a corner with my new plushie and cries*

why can't life just leave me alone?

~sorry for not replying to everyone... just feel like **** right now...~

nologola 08-02-2010 11:07 PM

Hi Jill, sounds like you really have had a hard day, I can understand why you're so upset/angry. But you're not useless - if you were useless they wouldn't have kept you for so long in the first place! Regardless, really out of order that they made bitchy comments like that though *hugs* What do you do? Are they aware that you have a SH problem? Don't give in though sweetie, just take it moment by moment. I understand wanting to give it all up, I really do - but we'll pull through. Just take it slow. I'm here if you need to chat, feel free to PM me if you like.

Scarletdreamer 08-02-2010 11:11 PM

I feel like **** right now so sorry for no responses to posts... need to get something out & then maybe I'll be able to respond later. :(

We're running low on money. And I'm blaming it - validly or not - on my stupid spending habits. I'm bipolar, and lately I've been having these spending sprees up to $80. I know it doesn't sound like a lot but it really is, for us, especially since Jarrod hasn't been getting overtime lately.

So I feel really awful with the amount of money in our checking account right now... I know that God will provide & that we have a lot of money in savings, etc., but we wanted to save that to help pay off my college loans. GAHHH!!!! **** my life, why does all of this seem to come to a head at once?

*heads to the denial tent so she can cry*

shadowedsoul 08-02-2010 11:17 PM

thanks hun, yeah mabye but i feel like a muppet, once again i have given the ammo to get rid of me. i work in a shop iam a full time sales assistant. worked there for 10 years. no only one manger does, but i havnt cut in ages, untill today it normally happens when im angery at myself. feel the need to punish myself.

frenchhorn 08-02-2010 11:30 PM

*cuddles everyone* is sorry and feels stupid he doesn't know everyones name.

hates the fact that even though he had an ok evening he gets back home alone and feels **** again, so much stuff in head to think about and all so scary.

nologola 08-02-2010 11:36 PM

april - I know how stressful money troubles can be. I'm currently living pretty much hand to mouth at uni because i literally only have my student loan and what i earn (which isn't a lot at the moment as i keep missing work). it's hard to stretch that for rent, bills, food, books etc etc. But you'll pull through. Don't be so hard on yourself, we all slip up.

Jill - Anger can be so difficult to deal with but try and be gentle with yourself. People make mistakes at work, it happens to everyone. And it can be quite a shock when you SH for the first time in a while, give yourself some time for your mind to settle. You'll get through this.

I'm still so angry about the cup. It's so stupid that something so pathetic has pissed me off so much. ARGH!

nologola 08-02-2010 11:39 PM

*cuddles Oliver* hi Oliver, don't worry, I've only just started using the site again, it's taking me ages to remember who's who. What's up?

PoisonedApple 08-02-2010 11:41 PM

*waves in oliver's direction* no worries on names... i'm crimson *extends hand*

nologola 08-02-2010 11:46 PM

Crimson - I don't think we've spoken yet either *waves*

SoMuchMore 08-02-2010 11:48 PM

*cuddles jill* I agree with ayla.. try to be gentle with yourself. I know that being angry is hard to handle, especially when its directed at yourself. Try to take some deep breaths and just relax.. (easier said then done i know)

*hugs crimson and offers a blanket for hiding in if u still want to hide* stay safe.

*gently cuddles april and helen*

*hugs oliver* don't worry about not knowing everyone's name. I'm laura.. or i guess laurastar on here since we have 2 laura's lol.

*hugs alya*

Ahh this place is moving so fast. Sorry i forgot anyone.

Went to class.. I'm glad i only had big lectures today. I don't think i can handle small classes. I really wanted to talk to my bf about some stuff tonight.. but he's busy like usual.. *sigh* Idk maybe i would suck at talking anyway. Sometimes i can't put what is in my head into words.

frenchhorn 08-02-2010 11:52 PM

*waves back to Crimson and shakes hands*
*cuddles Ayla back*
*Cuddles Laurastar back*
I went to a trans swimming group tonight, which was cool as havnt been swimming in ages due to certain issues with trans related stuff, met some new people and saw some people had met once before, but saw how far along in transistion some were and realised how far I have to go and how long its going to take and realised I'm going to have to start coming out to people soon and its scary as hell, and I feel so depressed and really want to cut, but havnt for a week which is so long for me to go and dont want to give in now, just feeling lonely and trapped I guess.
Has moaned for far too long
*hides himself in a corner*

nologola 08-02-2010 11:59 PM

Oliver - it does sound like an incredibly frightening experience but try and turn around how you're looking at it - you may have quite a way to go, but think how far you've already come. Well done for not cutting for a week, just take it bit by bit, you'll be alright. You should be proud of yourself. :)

Laurastar - I know what you mean about it moving fast, I didn't check for a few hours and there was tons of posts to go through. Is your bf at uni with you?

Imaginary_friend 09-02-2010 12:20 AM

i've had exactly the right amount of alcohol to not be drunk and to feel utterly ****. fab. night of fighting the urges again for me then.....
ARGH ****
*hides head under arm and cries*

SoMuchMore 09-02-2010 06:28 AM

*hugs oliver* good job on not cutting for a week. Thats great! Try to stay safe, i know its hard.

*hugs ayla* yea my bf is here at my university. Although sometimes i dont feel like he is as he has gotten so busy that i only see him a few hours a week.. (i know i shouldnt complain since that is more then some ppl get to see thier significant others... but i'm used to having him around).
How r u doing?

*hugs laurafriend* I hope you were able to fight the urges.

I feel like im barely hanging on now. Like if one more thing happens idk how imma handle it... i'm such an idiot. I should be stronger than this.

Imaginary_friend 09-02-2010 11:10 AM

*hugs Oliver* Hi :) a week is a long time so well done! :) i'm really struggling at the moment and i haven't gone a day without yet so a week sounds amazing! i hope you feel better soon though - fighting urges all the time is exhausting. *hugs*

*hugs Jill* Hi :) i hope today is better for you. If you've been there 10 years I'm pretty sure you know what's going on better than they do so they would be stupid to get rid of you! *hugs*

*hugs April* i dunno what to say rele. i'm a bit crap like that...lol *hugs* sorry. hope you're feeling better today

*hugs Ayla* how are you today?

*hugs Helen* Calm yet? lol

*hugs Crimson* whats up hun?

*hugs Laurastar* don't be silly, you're allowed to not feel like you can cope. it's not a weakness, it just means you need some support. which is fine! everyone does sometimes. *cuddles*

i don't feel too bad this morning. apart from a slight headache...i managed not to do anything stupid last night despite the fact i saw C i don't know how many times. urgh. i feel so crap when i see him. bad times. i'm going out later i thinks....and there's a protest this afternoon so might head down to that. fun times. anything to distract me from feeling crappy is good. lol

MammaMia 09-02-2010 12:40 PM

For once in my life, I don't think I know what to say :O

*cuddles everyone*

Absynnthe 09-02-2010 01:38 PM

*runs into denial tent*

*wallops head of wall repeatedly*

*stops to wave at Oliver*

Scarletdreamer 09-02-2010 02:21 PM

Gahhh...

*cuddles Helen* What's going on, sweetie?

*cuddles LauraFriend* Please try & take care of yourself, love. You deserve better treatment of yourself... please try to be responsible for your own safety the best you can - I know how difficult that is but no one else can force you to be safe. Also, about therapy, it may even seem to make you feel worse at the beginning - but that's okay - please don't quit!! ♥

*cuddles LauraStar* You made sense in saying that "please make [your] brain stop racing around from one thing to the next and sometimes feel like its getting caught on repeat?" I totally understand that too... heh. How are you feeling this morning? Oh, and you ARE a strong person already... even strong people struggle. :) What all is going on that makes you feel like you're going to break? *holds you gently*

*cuddles Franz* Good to see you here, love. Don't bang your head!! It's bad. What's going on that's making you feel like doing that? ♥

*cuddles Kahlia* Wow... sounds like you've been through about as many psychs as I have!! and have had your share of awful times in the MH system... holy crap. :( I'm sorry that you've had such a rough time with all of that. *holds you gently* You will make it through this... I'm bipolar with psychotic features & have made it through all of my bad episodes too... and you've come this far... keep on trudging, you'll make it. I know you will. I just wish that I could help you more. :(

*cuddles Ayla* How're you doing, sweetie? are you feeling any better from the flu?

*cuddles Crimson* What's up, hon? :)

*squishes Oliver* I'm sorry that you have so much stuff that you are dreading doing... I can't imagine coming out, it must be so difficult!! Best wishes on doing it... you'll be fine, it may be turbulent for awhile but things WILL settle down. They always do after change, even in relationships. And if people don't want to be friends with you after you come out, then that's THEIR problem. *gentle cuddles* Oh, and congrats on not cutting for a week!!! That's amazing. :D

I feel like ****... :( I just rescheduled my NP appt which was supposed to be for tomorrow but due to weather predictions had to reschedule. She's not going to be too happy... but oh well, she can just deal. Heh. I do care about her, a lot, she's a good person & a close "friend" (as close to a friend as someone who is an authority over you can be)... but right now, I can't be bothered about her reaction to my changing my appt.

:(

I feel like crap. Just want to cut, but haven't in like 3 weeks... that's "meh" for me, usually cut about once a month... but still want to. And have eaten too much this morning so want to purge. My mum - over the phone - keeps pushing me to eat & drink more, which is really frustrating as she didn't see all of the stuff I already ate. :( I feel like a pig, I really do...

Going out for coffee with a friend after my last class... ought to be fun. But I'm not really looking forward to it... just want to come home & play WoW, is that bad of me? I don't want to socialize anymore. I just want to play WoW or read or sleep. :crying: I hate my life. Make it stop... please... make it STOP!!

Absynnthe 09-02-2010 02:26 PM

*stops and clings to April*

Just shitness. I had a super bad dream last night about someone that died, and I can hear the crying and screams still. >.<

*covers head with arms*

*gentle cuddle for everyone*

Scarletdreamer 09-02-2010 02:33 PM

*holds Franz gently, stroking back* Nightmares suck, especially when they are very realistic. But it wasn't real, you're out of it, & you'll be okay. ♥

Damn uni work, don't wanna do it!!! :(

Absynnthe 09-02-2010 02:43 PM

*closes eyes tight* Thankyou. I know it's just a dream, but I'm ****ing shaking still, and I can't stop hearing him begging.

Gonna put it in my rant/vent thread.

Scarletdreamer 09-02-2010 03:30 PM

Putting it in your r/v thread is a good idea... & you're welcome, love. Wish I could do more to help than just cyber cuddles!! :(

Got some uni work done & also put a cd from my mum (Anonymous 4) on my iPod, so I'm happy about both of those things. My head aches though, probably because I'm still stuffed up - stupid cold - and I just want to sleep. :(

I think life really needs to be perfect for EVERYONE. :'(

Absynnthe 09-02-2010 03:32 PM

<3333 *Gentle cuddles*

Why don't you have a nap? *head tilt*

I wish life was easier.

MammaMia 09-02-2010 03:38 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Things are looking up, hence the excitedness in my last post. But at same time, getting worse? :S

Scarletdreamer 09-02-2010 03:41 PM

Franz, I could take a nap but I need to be heading to uni shortly as I've classes today & that would mess me up bigtime. So tired though... hope I don't fall asleep IN class!! :-X That would be bad. Oh, & read your r/v thread... definitely a scary dream!!! *snuggles next to with a fleece blanket*

Helen, glad things are looking up... but what's getting worse about it all? *cuddles*

Don't want to go to uni!!! *resists the urge to have a temper tantrum* Heh... really don't want to go I guess. :( Wish I enjoyed it, but I don't. Not at all.

But I am having coffee out with a friend today... so that ought to be something I look forward to, right? :-/

Just wrote in my r/v thread... :-X

*hides in the darkest corner & takes a catnap*

MammaMia 09-02-2010 04:03 PM

Well the situation that's really upset me past couple of days is much better :) Another situation or two is getting worse. I didn't make that clear, sorry :(

Scarletdreamer 09-02-2010 05:03 PM

It's okay, Hels. *holds you gently* Care to talk about it, through PM or posting or whatever?

I'm at uni now... gggurgh. I parked in my favorite parking lot but a lot further away from where my classes are than I prefer. Then just as I was walking down the lot towards the buildings, a car pulled out of a space that I would've loved to have. Perfect, lol. I didn't have a chance to nab it either so I have an extra-long walk tonight. Oh well... *sigh*

Am so hungry but don't think it's real hunger. I think it's me wanting to binge. Stupid brain.

*sigh*

At least I am going out to have coffee with Cara... we can have a nice chat & something warm to drink, although I promised my husband I'd get summat inexpensive as we are low on funds. Grrrr. Oh well, white hot choc doesn't cost too much.

*hides*

SoMuchMore 09-02-2010 05:12 PM

*hugs franz* nightmares are awful. Hope you are feeling better.

*hugs helen* glad that things are looking up. Its okay that u dont explain much.

*hugs april* have fun having coffee with your friend. Sorry that your so tired and hate uni. I hate uni too sometimes... Especially on tuesdays.. like today. I wish i had a snow day.. everywhere around me is closed but my university doesnt close for anything.

I really do feel like i should be stronger than i feel right now. I am freaking out about everything.. not like loudly or anything.. just in my head. But still, its not like anything horribly tragic is happening.. its just a bunch of little things and i just idk. I dont want to hold on much longer. I want to feel different, better i guess/normal? whatever that is. I wish somebody could explain what normal feels like. I guess i cant understand it like other ppl can't understand what goes on in my head. Ranting sorry.. ill be quiet now.

nologola 09-02-2010 05:36 PM

Hi all.

I'm doing much better on the flu front today, got a bit more energy which is nice. Had a really long conversation with my boyfriend last night where he basically said that he understands he hasn't been supportive in the past and he's going to make an effort to try and understand where I'm coming from a bit more. I was really happy at first but now I kinda feel like I don't have to try so hard not to cut because he won't be so angry with me if I do... I'm such a bitch. He's doing everything he can to help me and I'm just turning around and being selfish. I still haven't cut which is good I suppose, but the urges are even stronger now. It makes no sense what so ever. I am so angry with myself.

*cuddles everyone who wants cuddling*
*hides in the corner*

*

YodaBearInterrupted 09-02-2010 05:43 PM

I wish I hadn't tied my emotional life to the snow. Gah, so emotional right now. In high school and into college the weather was my "in" to meet new friends and stuff. I know thats weird... but thats what did it. Now my friends have abandoned me but still want my snow/weather forecasts. Thats all I am good for apparently nowadays, nothing else. Just so lost right now. Aimless drifting. Sigh.

I am going to sit in the corner so I can try to hide from everything and everyone cause they don't seem to care

PoisonedApple 09-02-2010 07:33 PM

in answer to all (as i'm not up for writing individually or answering longly...) too much. not too much of any specific thing just too much in general. everything is so little but it all makes for something huge.

frenchhorn 09-02-2010 08:15 PM

*cuddles Franz* nightmares are horrible, but remember it not real.

*cuddles April* Well done for getting some uni work done, sorry you still have a cold, hope it gets better soon, hope you have a good time having coffee with your friend.

*cuddles Laurastar* sorry your having a tough time at the moment, you dont need to be sorry for ranting, its good to get stuff off your chest sometimes.

*cuddles Ayla* glad your feeling better on the flu front, glad your bf is going to be more supportive and well done on not cutting, but I'm sorry there are stong urges there.

*cuddles Yoda bear* (sorry dont know your name) we care about you, sorry your going through a tough time at the moment.

*cuddles Crimson* sorry everything is getting too much

I'm not doing good, just been asleep most of the day, think its to do with my meds dosage being up'd. just feeling so depressed and crap.

Scarletdreamer 09-02-2010 10:37 PM

Ugh, I am so tired... just want to sleep & sleep & sleep. :(

*cuddles LauraStar* I understand what you mean, kind of, not 100% 'cause I'm not you, but I've been there. A lot of small stressful things can build up into a huge big anxiety attack. It sucks horrifically but I'm sure that you can handle it... you are stronger than you know, beautiful. Please hang in there & keep going, despite the fact that it's so difficult at times. I also wish that someone could explain what "normal" feels like... because I can't remember ever feeling anything that qualifies as such. I've always been up & down (as long as I can remember, anyway), and in the past 7 or so years, have been mostly dysthymic. :( But, enough about me... how are you feeling now?

*cuddles Ayla* I understand, also, what you mean when you say that now that your boyfriend says he will try to be more understanding of how you feel, you want to cut more because he won't yell at you. That's how it got with my husband at one point - he practically gave up trying to stop me from cutting. I'll admit it, I was "excited" at first but then realized how much I hurt him every time I cut. So I stopped cutting as best as I can - still get the stubborn urges every month or so, so I still have fresh scars, but it's gotten a lot better. :) Anyway, sorry, ramble!! Glad you're feeling better from the flu too; that's good.

*cuddles Yoda if that's okay?* I don't know you & I don't know your situation (very well anyway) but I care about you. People on this site care about you... I'm sure that people IRL care about you, even if you don't realize it.

*cuddles Crimson* I have had too much too... it's like... come on, lighten up, please... there's too much in my head, in my life. I hate it. Wish that I could just quit life. Ah well. Mustn't do that. :-/ Hope you (and I, and all of us!!) feel better soon...

*cuddles Oliver* What med's been upped? Hopefully it didn't get too much in the way of your uni work. :( I like sleep but it's frustrating when you don't get that sense of accomplishment of getting things done, I don't know. Maybe that's just me, heh. Sorry that you're so depressed & all... anything I can do?

*hides from the world*

Kahlia1981 09-02-2010 11:29 PM

*cuddles everyone* - Sorry for the lack of individual replies ... I'm just not having a good day and really not coping too well. I just feel like locking myself in my room ... well shutting the door and putting something heavy infront of it so it can't be opened from the outside because I can't actually lock my door.

My housemate suggested today that I write a book about my dealings with both sides of the MH system over the past 12 years. I asked him to read the post where I discussed my research in my thread and he commented that the writing style was impressive. He was suggesting naming names where required - like the tdoc I was given years ago through the public health system who never got to know the real me, continuously repeated using therapies that weren't working and at the finish lied about how long she had been seeing me for (she added an extra 18 months), or the current Director of Mental Health who continuously mis-diagnosed me (for BPD you must meet 5 of 9 criteria ... I meet 1 - according to the DSM IV).

I don't know how I feel about the idea ... He also was including the years I spent in the private system and how in the private system you are treated as a person, an individual with emotions/feelings/etc and in the public system you are a number : 384555 (that's my UR number).

*shrugs*

Scarletdreamer 10-02-2010 12:20 AM

I think that's an awesome idea, Kahlia. :) Best of luck with getting awareness spread etc... someone needs to do it & hopefully having a goal set will help you with feeling like you're accomplishing something. What's UR stand for? might be a stupid question but atm I can't think of what it would be. *cuddles*

Am doing shitty... stomach is a little upset, I think from all of the fiber I've had recently but I can't help worrying that it's another stomach bug. Prayers/good wishes/etc. would be appreciated that I don't get sick immediately again after being ill with this cold (which is still hanging about :( sucky).

I have a TON of work to do tomorrow before classes start at half past noon... and I have to be on campus around 11:30... so I need - NEED - to do a lot of work tomorrow. I am struggling to keep up in senior sem with all of the busy work etc., and I don't know what to do about that. I can't ask for extensions as I don't really want "special treatment" due to being mentally ill (and physically ill, come to think of it)... I just need to manage my time better. Thing is, the time that I don't spend doing schoolwork is spent on WoW or reading or writing emails to friends, etc., and it's time that I need, in order to stay semi-sane. ARGH!!! So frustrating!!! :crying:

*retreats into the denial tent to hide from reality* :(

frenchhorn 10-02-2010 12:41 AM

*cuddles Kahlia* good luck with all that you are doing on awareness spreading, its a really good thing to do.

*cuddles April* sending good wishes for your stomach feeling better soon and you don't get sick. It sucks having a lot of work to do, I know you said you don't want to ask for extentions, but if your're struggling its not a bad thing and doesn't show weekness, I get a week extension for my essay work at uni if I need it, it just takes the pressure off slightly. We all need time to do other things other than work, so don't be too annoyed that you have that time, its good that you do.

Its my anti-depressants that have been upped, when I first went on them I was getting similar side effects to what I am now, so it probs is just because I am now on a higher dosage, but yeah its annoying when I just end up sleeping all day. Theres nothing you can do, but thanks for the offer.
Was watching a programme earlier called I hate mum, about 2 families where they have a son who is verbally and physically violent to their mum, but they went to therapy and stuff and both showed signs of improvement, even though still a long way to go and one of them was talking more to his mum about like feelings and how he is doing and stuff. I just felt really upset because me and my mum don't really talk about anything like that, we talk about loads, like her job and random everyday things, but never about really important stuff and it really upsets me. I guess we're both to blame, I don't talk to her about my depression, anxiety, gender problems, she doesn't takl to me about her MS, but I wish we would.
sorry I've rambled on for far too long.

Kahlia1981 10-02-2010 12:53 AM

April - I believe UR stands for "universal record" - That's how we are referred to in the public system basically .... Thanks for the cuddles *hugs you back*

Oliver - I'm not sure if I've said hello before, so hi and welcome *waves*. *hugs you back*

On the book idea ... my housemate reckons that the Queensland Government will try and have it banned or destroyed - somehow removed from public viewing - which could be interesting...

I just think people need to be aware of what is actually going on - that the atrocities that occurred in psych history have not just disappeared ... that they just go on more quietly.

PoisonedApple 10-02-2010 01:22 AM

Kahlia~ If they ban it in Aussie could you publish through someone out of country? Raise awareness to the world instead of just your own area?
Just thinking outside the box...

*goes back to hiding in self inflicted solitude*

Kahlia1981 10-02-2010 05:30 AM

A_M: That's a definite possibility ...

SoMuchMore 10-02-2010 07:34 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Imaginary_friend 10-02-2010 09:05 AM

*hugs everyone*
I am so hungover....well no. i think i'm still drunk. i broke my phone last night and i've just missed a lecture. shiiiiiiiiit

Kahlia1981 10-02-2010 10:47 AM

*cuddles everyone*

I feel like *****. I went to a place this morning called the Mental Illness Fellowship of North Queensland to put in an application form to join one of the programs that they run. I was told (in no uncertain terms) that I was to leave because of their procedures which required an interview. That was fine in itself and was also expected .... HOWEVER .... the staff member that was talking to me was tactless, rude and treated me like I was lower than the dirt under her feet. My housemate, who was a member and had encouraged me to become the same, has decided because of the way I was treated that he is no longer going to participate, and I've pretty much decided the same way.

The crisis team called me tonight and I asked them for twice weekly contact ... they've told me that I should be the one to initiate this so I should ring them on Friday or Saturday. Meh.

Scarletdreamer 10-02-2010 11:08 AM

Good morning, everyone...

*cuddles Oliver* I know what you mean, my mum & I rarely talk about things that are really & truly important. I think it's because they - the important things, like life with a mood disorder/eating disorder/anxiety/etc., are too scary for her to really cope well with, even though she struggles with similar. Maybe the same for your mum? maybe her MS scares her to talk about, & maybe she cares about you so much that your troubles - which she can't solve - scare her too? Just a thought. *more cuddles* How're you doing this morning?

*cuddles LauraFriend* I wish I could help you, sweetie. You know you've got a problem with the drinking... it's up to you to quit drinking (as much, anyway)... and I'm sorry that you broke your phone & missed a lecture. *gentle hugs* Sorry if any of that sounded harsh. :-/ Didn't mean it to.

*cuddles Kahlia* I agree with Crimson (a_m) - maybe spread the awareness around the globe instead of just in Queensland, where a lot of people probably already know how shitty the care is. If you get the book written, send it to a publisher(s) outside Australia. :) How're you feeling this morning? (or night, rather) and I'm sorry how you got treated at that meeting... stupid people!! :(

*cuddles Crimson* How're you doing, love?

*cuddles everyone that she might've missed* How're you all doing? LauraStar, Helen, Franz, Ayla, anyone else that I missed? ♥

I just got up... early I know - 5:40am - but I wanted time to go on WoW then do schoolwork... urgh. It's snowing here & I'm desperately hoping that my night class is cancelled... *crosses fingers* Heh, I doubt it but it might be. Later, anyway, as my prof for that class has to drive quite a ways (okay, 15ish miles, not huge compared to some of the profs who drive ~75 miles - one way!!). It's not cancelled as of yet, I just checked... but if the snow keeps up today... it might be. Don't get me wrong, I like the class, it's just that it goes SO LATE!! (for me) 9pm... urgh... and then have to get a shower when I get home... and want to wind down a little before bed... so yeah. Yuck.

I has a snuggly kitty on my lap, so kitty snuggles are up for dibs!! :D He's drooling on me a little though, just so you know... lol. He's so much like a puppy... :P

Anyway. Sending cuddles to everyone... *sigh*

Absynnthe 10-02-2010 11:48 AM

<3333

*hugs to everyone* Thanks for all of your support. :') Love love love....

Feeling better than yesterday. The screams and crying in my head have stopped. o.O

Imaginary_friend 10-02-2010 11:48 AM

bleeeeeugh. i feel skank. urgh urgh urgh.

*hugs April* i know i know....but i only took out like...4 last night. and i still managed to get ****ed because my friend owed me 6....urgh. i hate myself.

*goes to hide in the toilet*

Kahlia1981 10-02-2010 11:53 AM

The current suggestion with the book is to have it available on Amazon.com so pretty much anyone can read it ... and then if the government finds a way to ban it, to make it downloadable as a torrent.

*cuddles everyone then crawls into the denial tent so that life can bearable*

Absynnthe 10-02-2010 11:54 AM

*wanders over to Laura and Khalia and gives gentle cuddles*



<33

nologola 10-02-2010 12:25 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry for not writing personal messages, my head is all over the place today.
Just wanted to leave a message before I head to the library. Today is a bad day. I woke up at 9 and have only just managed to get myself out of bed, I'm feeling incredibly anxious about being on my own at the moment. I'm heading to the library today so I can sit in a quiet corner and try and make myself work without having to be on my own in my room. I just can't be alone with my thoughts anymore. I'm frightening myself. I'm so sick of this predictable cycle that I'm trapped in.

Scarletdreamer 10-02-2010 01:06 PM

Gahhh... I am so frustrated with myself!! I have all of this work to do & no motivation at all to do it... and I have to go in to campus today & it's snowing, and my car only has 2WD... so I'm scared about the traction as I don't think the roads have been taken care of. They tend not to do that around here until it's stopped snowing & it's still snowing sooo... :(

I just want to hide & hide & never come out... :(

*cuddles Franz* How're you doing, love?

*cuddles Ayla* I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now... what's making you feel so bad? any idea(s)? I wish I could help you more... I wish I could snap my fingers & make everything better for everyone... that would be awesome. Or hand out magic pills that would make everything better - heh. In any case... feel free to talk about it if you want to... we'll be glad to listen, I'm sure!! :)

*huggles LauraStar* How're you doing, sweetie? Missed you the first time 'round but caught you this time!! :D lol. :-/

*cuddles Kahlia* That sounds like a good idea. Do you feel excited about writing it?

*pulls LauraFriend out of the toilet & onto a comfy beanbag, cuddles & rocks* Things will be okay, love. I promise.

*more hugs & cuddles for everyone*

MammaMia 10-02-2010 01:20 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry for going quiet at the moment. Today is probably going to be another quiet day, we shall see. I think I'm angry but holding it in.


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