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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

[Fog] 22-12-2009 04:10 PM

*Hugs to Steel Maiden*

Scarlett Dreamer - that must be so frustrating not being able to get hold of your support workers. It's similar for me, endless waiting lists and answer phones etc. Do you live with anyone who is supportive and understanding of what you're going through who you could tell? In the mean time keep talking to us :-) Yeah sounds like a lot of the weight is water. Try not to panic and lose weight (sorry, hypocrite alert), eating consistently and healthily will be better for you and will help with your weight as well. If you tend to be up and down with eating your body will just hang on to whatever it can get and your metabolism also slows down when you don't eat. Sorry if you already know that. It's just I don't want you to end up in the miserable place that I am at the moment. *Hugs*

One Step Closer - I know the feeling, the only thing that has kept me alive is not wanting my family and boyfriend to suffer because of being involved with that girl who killed herself. I don't want them to have to go through more than they do at the moment with me being alive. Hang on in there, it WILL get better. If you want to talk about how you're feeling we're here for you.

Scarlett Whore - that's a great idea actually about carrying a leaflet around about it. When I got arrested I told them it was kleptomania but I guess they must hear that a million times a day. I think they probably still don't believe that I'm klepto but it fast became clear how ill I am so they were a lot nicer to me than I deserved. Just hoping and praying it doesn't happen again because then I really will be in the ****. Haha yeah I wish I had a real life calorie removing machine! Mmmm pizza chocolate cake spaghetti bolognaise... Why can't they make no-cal food?! Enjoy having a good yell, hope it helps :-)

Done some Christmas shopping with my bros today (and I have all the receipts yay!) and stared at the DLA application for a while. Feel a bit agitated today so I might pop out again in a while to keep myself out of trouble. Seeing my care worker tomorrow which should be good, she's really lovely so looking forward to seeing her. Also will be getting my hair even more redded up and visiting a good friend of mine in the ward so should be a good day.

Hugs and loves to all xx

SoMuchMore 22-12-2009 04:30 PM

*hugs april* I wouldn't worry too much about interrupting the funeral. I am sure your therapist isn't mad at you or anything. Getting text messages and calls kind of comes with the territory of their job. And.. drinking fluids is good. I always find that I feel better (physically) when I drink a lot of water :-)

*hugs one step closer* Sorry you are feeling so badly hun. Can you talk to anyone?

*hugs scarlett whore*

*hugs banana* yay for xmas shopping lol, I did that all day yesterday... Even though it was ridiculously crowded out. Its good that you like your care worker so much, it must be nice to have them there for support. Hope you enjoy visiting your friend.

*hugs everyone else.... sorry I didn't reply to everyone... The ward seems to be very busy lately*

I am at the 30 day mark for being SI free... again... it always seems that 30-ish days is my breaking point, but I'm hoping that maybe things are easier this time... I dunno why they would be easier, nothing is different heh, but I still hope it is. Anyway, got a disaster haircut yesterday, going to get it fixed today lol, and then baking xmas cookies! yummy!

Absynnthe 22-12-2009 07:17 PM

*cuddles onto April* Meeeegh, sorry I wasn't here yesterday... Christmas shopping. >.< Damn Christmas time! Damn it to hell!

*huggles to everyone else* Hoping everyone is okay...

Not had a good day today. Aaaaat all. I'll hide this, cuz...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triiiiiiggering...
Self harm, binging, throwing up, refusing food, voices, flashbacks, switching between me and Zack...

Arrrgh. :Crying:

Scarletdreamer 22-12-2009 08:04 PM

Aww *cuddles Franz gently* It does sound like an utterly rubbish day... I wish I could help more but maybe have a few calorie-free chocolates and talk to us? *more cuddles*

Have missed you over the past, well, day. Haha. You're good company. :) I bet it was crowded Christmas shopping!! wow. I got all of mine done on Black Friday (THAT was effing crowded... >_< ...but was my husband's idea so we went for it, heh). I'm rather excited about Christmas myself, but I can understand why it would be annoying, etc. I think. Heh. Why don't you like it?

*hugs Laura* Yey for 30 days SI-free!! That's awesome. :) Don't beat up on yourself, if you can help it, if you slip up... it's baby steps to get out of that pit and you can do it. You're a strong person. In the meantime, celebrate!!! You have done an amazing job of not SI'ing in the past month... you deserve something special. Make yourself a cuppa and go sit and read or do something you enjoy. :) Pamper yourself. *more hugs*

*hugs Banana* Yeh, I know that about the water/weight loss thing. It's just frustrating now, especially, because I don't have classes to tell me how time is passing. Usually I get through a day now and realize that WHOOPS, I've only drunk about half what I'm supposed to - or less. That's never good... but I never try to make it up. And just like eating, you have to drink constantly... and I hate that. Urgh. :(

I'm kind of frustrated about my weight but that's not why the purging urges are coming up. It's because I want to self destruct... I dunno. I posted more about this in the ED forum. Don't want to take up too much space in here about that. :( Blah. Feel stupid.

*hugs Scarlett* How you doing today?? :)

*gentle hugs for One step* Honestly, there is no way of getting out of life without hurting those around you, those who love you. No matter how you do it, you'll leave a legacy of pain. People who remember you will feel sad but also effing ANGRY that you chose to kill yourself rather than fighting your way out of whatever you're in. You can survive. You can make it through. You are so much more resiliant than you know.

Guuurgh... I feel like sh*t. I ate lunch, which was one of those microwaveable bowls of soup. It had so few calories but I still wanted to purge it along with the mug of (gingerbread!!) tea with honey that I had. And I called my T's office to see if I could get an appt with her tomorrow as she said yesterday that she thought she had a cancellation (cx?) tomorrow... but no go. BOO HISS!!!! That means I won't be able to see her until like the week of the 10th (of January). That SUCKS!!! I need all of the support that I can get right now and I really wish that I had all the support that I need. :(

Just shoot me... shoot me now, put me out of my misery... I HATE MY LIFE!!!! *cries*

Absynnthe 22-12-2009 08:21 PM

I are loved. :D *huggles onto April* Yeeeeees, it was fairly busy. o.O It's not that I don't like shopping. God help me, that's not what I'm saying AT ALL, XD I just don't like being stabbed in the back by grumpy old women with umbrellas. Who then complain that you got in the way. D;

*chomps on low cal chocolate and sits on April* I shall NOT shoot you now. For many reasons;

1. I have no gun. Which is probably a good thing, to be honest.
2. I would MISS you!
3. I would get blood and brainds all over the virtual Psych ward. D;
4. You're too special to shoot. And your husband might be a bit annoyed. o.o


Scarletdreamer 22-12-2009 08:43 PM

*huggles Franz* Yeerhhh, I guess you have a point about not shooting me. Haha. My husband "might be a bit annoyed" ... rofl. :P

So I guess I'll stick around for now. I do have a gun, but not here at the apartment... it's my baby, a 1911 Springfield .45 caliber pistol. :D But it's kept locked at a place far, far away (okay, only 20 minutes away... haha - and I have a key to it) so I don't have immediate access to it if I do get suicidal. Which is good.

I don't FEEL special. :( I feel fat, ugly, stupid. Grrrrargh.


one_step_closer 22-12-2009 08:55 PM

*hugs everyone*

Absynnthe 22-12-2009 09:04 PM

Well he might! :O *snuggle!*

And I am glad there's a walk to get to it. o.O Although I just looked it up, and oooo. Prettyful gun. :O Damn me for being English!

*sigh* Me knows how you feel. Currently venting negative thoughts and feelings into writing and drawing. Ahm designing a new tattoo. :)

*huggles Lindsay* :) Hihi, you okay?

Scarletdreamer 22-12-2009 10:06 PM

*hugs Franz* Yeh it is a prettyful gun. :D I'm glad you agree with me. My husband thinks I'm cute for thinking that it's cute... but it IS!!! This http://www.gunshopfinder.com/springfield/PW9609L.jpg is not the exact model that I have, but you can see what it looks like. Mine currently has the wood grips on it (but they don't say "US" - they have a more prettyful design :D) but I'm gonna switch 'em to plastic (black!! woohoo) as the plastic is MUCH more durable.

Ooh tattoo. I don't have any and don't plan on getting one, but it's cool that you design them. What does it look like? I'm more into piercings, just got my nose done (stud on the right side) on 5 December (I think). And my ears are pierced 8 times (total) - four of which I did myself. Afraid that's a bit of a self-injuring technique but oh well. They look good. :P Wouldn't recommend it though, unless you aren't doing it for SI and are more sanitary about it than I was.

Hrm. I don't feel great. Tummy hurts - I think I ate too much or something, dunno. Blahhh. I am so tired, too!!! just want to sleep but it's way too early, only a bit past 5pm. :(

*hugs everyone*

Absynnthe 22-12-2009 10:17 PM

All of my peircing's are self done. :) Except for my scaffold peircing. I have my ears streched as well, also self done. Yeah, it's basically another version of SH, but hey... >.< I'm sanitary though!

Well, the one I'm currently designing is a treble clef with Plumiera flowers and butterfly on it. Both of which are linked to RYL. :) The treble clef is to signify the effect that music has on my life, both as a musician and listener.

*cuddles and rubs tummy* :( Get better, silly tummy...

[Awakening] 22-12-2009 11:53 PM

yay! I talked to the nurses and managed to get my girlfriend leave tomorrow to go christmas shopping!!! Plus i requested time over christmas too so if tomorrow goes well all should be cool.

*hugs to everyone* I hope ur all doing ok - sorry i'll catch up soon but im soo tired right now x x x x

Scarletdreamer 23-12-2009 09:19 AM

Aww Franz *huggles* Thank you. :) My tummy feels much better now, took some antacids and other stuff and it doesn't hurt now. Guess it was just nerves or something, dunno. Weird.

That sounds like a cool tattoo. :) Could you post a pic of it or send a pic to me via email or PM? And what's a scaffold piercing? Sorry if that's a dense question... >_< I don't know piercing names very well.

Scarlett, that's awesome!! I hope that you enjoy yourself. :) *hugs*

I'm doing meh. Today's the day of the awful nutritionist appt and I'm probably getting worked up over nothing, but... I really hope he doesn't brush this all off and pretend like it's no biggie. I really don't want to leave there all upset and stuff. :( Especially as it costs a good deal per appt.

And I don't have an appt scheduled with either my therapist or my NP, so I don't know when I will see them again. That's frustrating!! but I will survive... grrr. :(

*hugs everyone and sets out more calorie-free chocolates* :)

SoMuchMore 23-12-2009 04:28 PM

*hugs davengenzz (franz?)* I would be so scared to do a self-piercing lol, too many horror stories i've heard I guess. You're tattoos sound awesome. I love music.

*hugs scarlett whore* Sounds like fun! Hope you have a good time shopping.

*hugs april* Hope that your appt goes alright. I hate it when doctors brush you off, its awful feeling.

I feel like i'm on the edge of something, but I don't know what exactly. I need to talk to my friend badly, but its winter break and he is far far away, so I don't want to bother him with my stupid drama. And it is stupid drama... I'm not going to do anything horrible... I never do... so... yeah...

Anyway, i'm baking cookies today. I'll leave some calorie free ones in here later :-)

Absynnthe 23-12-2009 07:53 PM

*huggles onto Laura and April.* I shall post in it the creative corner when I'm done with it. :) I'm rather excited about it!

And a scaffold is a bar across your ear peirced in 2 places. :) A La...

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Picture!

Mhm.... And nah, I don't like peircing shops! I dunno why.. o.O Probably people touching my weirdly XD

Went to the Doctors today...Getting a mental health assessment. My mother thinks I'm going to kill myself. >.<

Scarletdreamer 23-12-2009 10:22 PM

Laura, if you have to, talk with your friend. Even if it is just drama, it's best to get it out there. Also, if you think you're on the edge of something bad, please love, talk to someone!! *big hugs*

*huggles Franz* Ahh, I've seen scaffolding piercings. Kinda want one myself but never got up the nerve. Anyway, I've got studs in up there on my ear where a scaffold piercing would be. :) The piercing parlor was kind of a scary place... mostly because it was a piercing parlor and I saw this one dude getting a tattoo (in between me getting my nose pierced - by the same guy!!) and he looked so bored, lol - and the tattoo dude was just mopping up the mess as he went... urgh, it was triggerish. :(

Probably good that you got a mental health assessment, maybe then you can get a bit of help for whatever is going on? *cuddles gently*

I feel rubbishy. Saw my nutritionist today and he wants to see me next week. He said that it's cheaper than it would be if I went in hospital >_< which is true, as insurance probably wouldn't cover a stay for EDs in a hospital or whatever. Ugh. I'm supposed to eat a great deal of protein and eat a lot in the morning - but for the first time, I think, since I've seen him, he didn't tell me a calorie min/max that I have to reach. So that's AWESOME. Heh. And he did take me seriously, which was also awesome. :)

I'm just really scared that I'm actually going to develop bulimia. My ED before was more aimed at AN, but now it's totally changed... my therapist thinks it may be my subconscious unhealthy reaction to starting to like food again. Dunno though - but it does kinda make sense.

Supper's coming up, I'm scared... I hate dealing with food!!!!

Blah, sorry for the waffling. :(

*needs hugs*

Absynnthe 23-12-2009 10:43 PM

*gentle huggles* I agree, I'm finding it hard at the moment. But my doctor was nice and prescribed me strong antiseptic stuff for my arms. So good times!

And you're not waffling. Oooh, waffles. Damn it, I'm hungry now. XD

Much love and licks *huggle*

SoMuchMore 23-12-2009 10:46 PM

*walks in with lots of sugar, butter, and chocolate chip cookies - that are perfectly fine to eat as they are cyber-cookies and therefore, very good for u*

Told my family about my boyfriend being in the air force... they didn't react as badly as i thought which is good. I don't know exactly what i'm on the edge of... hopefully its just a feeling and it will pass quickly... or maybe its just that the 30 day mark is in my head still and screwing with me.. I dont know.
And I would talk but... I just kinda minimize everything when I do b/c i don't want ppl to worry, so then I feel even more stupid for talking in the first place... Talking has never seemed to really help much anyway i guess.

Absynnthe 23-12-2009 11:18 PM

*rugby tackles for cyber cookies*

*sits on, chomps*

*gives thumbs up for good news, pats for bad*

Scarletdreamer 23-12-2009 11:29 PM

Gahh I feel utterly, completely, and totally awful.


*sits in corner and cries*

Absynnthe 23-12-2009 11:58 PM

:O April and Kiera! *gentle cuddles and teddybears*

Vent! It may help. ANd by vent, I meant talk online... or in journal... :(

*Nuzzles April* :(

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 01:07 AM

*gentle cuddles to Kiera and Franz*

Well, I guess I'll vent here a little if no one minds. :-/

I'm worried about the bulimic urges, don't know if they are more serious than I thought before. I feel awful because of what I've eaten today - no binges, just food I never would've eaten before this. I hate this "freedom" that I have now that I'm not totally vegetarian. Which was, I admit, an eating disordered thing. Meat does have a lot of calories - but that's mainly the red meat. I'm sticking to seafood for now as that has omega-3s and all. But anyway... the "freedom" scares me and makes me want to go back to my "old ways" of restricting intake... but I CAN'T!!! because my husband won't let me. So instead it's bingeing urges that come on - like tonight - and then purging urges... it's so crazy... I don't want the stigma that comes with being bulimic. I don't believe in it, and I really want to give in to the behaviors, and even effing looked at TIPS tonight (I am such an effing IDIOT, I wouldn't be surprised if you all don't want to talk with me again)...

I don't know. I'm just a mess. I hate my life, I'm tired, just drunk two cups of tea (gingerbread, and cranberry-apple) and want to go to bed. I've been up since 3:30am and need my sleeps... tomorrow's Christmas Eve and then Christmas and I'm scared that I'm going to eat too much, etc... even if it is healthy stuff. :(

Need support, need help, need PUPPY SINCLAIR!!!!!!!

*more cuddles for Franz and Kiera*

Detour. Derail 24-12-2009 02:10 AM

I know Ive not been around much at all but ive been at uni
right now my life is ****
I need a cuddle else im gonna go do something daft

Detour. Derail 24-12-2009 06:55 AM

I dont like the chat.
Everything falls apart.
its fine...just...forget i said anything.
Im just gonna carry on being invisible

Kahlia1981 24-12-2009 08:05 AM

*walks in after a really long period without internet*
*hugs absolutely everyone*

I went psychotic last night for 3 or 4 hours and have just realised that during that period I attacked myself. Thankfully not badly. But ....
I've just moved house and I guess that's been stressing me and then my housemate went to hospital with chest pains yesterday and has really only just returned home. He's having some real difficulties right now as it seems that his AP medication has a nasty side effect of degenerating muscles - which caused the chest pain.
Man, oh, man. I just want to disappear right now ...

*cuddles everyone again and then disappears into a corner*

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 01:26 PM

*hugs Kiera* Yeh, I've been anorexic (not DSM-IV classifiably as I didn't lose my periods) but now it's turning into bulimia... urgh. I know that purging really isn't good for you but it's so hard to resist. :( I feel like such an idiot. :'(

*gently hugs Alexx* I'm sorry that you're not doing too well at the moment. Care to talk about it?

*huggles Kahlia* Aw, psychosis is never fun. :( Trust me, been there done that. Not attacked myself though... are you okay? have you talked with your GP/psych about this? I'm glad that you moved - wasn't it stressful in your old flat? Sorry if I'm getting you mixed up with someone else!! :-/

I'm a little better today. Worried about the Christmas food but as my parents know what's going on, they won't be angry with me if I don't eat too much. Whew. It's just my immediate family, me, and my husband. :) Should be nice.

So tired. Got up at 6:10am today but yesterday got up at 3:30am... stupid me. Urgh.

*sends cuddles out to Franz*

one_step_closer 24-12-2009 02:37 PM

I don't want it to be Christmas. I don't want to pretend that everything is ok, well I pretend every day anyway. I just want out of life.

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 04:42 PM

^^ I understand. *gentle hugs* Can't say I understand everything that you've been through and are going through, but I can understand wanting out of life. I am so sick of living, so sick of how I keep going in cycles of better and worse and worse and worse and better... but anyway. Sorry for the tangent. If you need to talk, I'm here. *more hugs*

I'm feeling kinda rubbish right now. Ate lunch and it was only small, but I don't want to purge AWFULLY right now, at least. Probably because I only feel half full. Ugh. I just want my brain to stop messing me up. :(

Kahlia1981 24-12-2009 09:57 PM

*hugs April* - yeah psychosis is never fun. I don't know how I am actually. I see my GP on Tuesday morning. *sigh* Yeah the old place was pretty stressful, I would have been evicted if I'd had a psychotic episode or some other signs of my illness...

*hugs Lindsay*

*hugs everyone*

Well it's Christmas morning and I feel like sh*t. My housemate went back to hospital yesterday. I don't know how he is. His mother said when she gave me an update last night that if he was released then he would spend the night at their place and regardless of whether he was released or not she would pick me up at 12 today to either go to their place for christmas lunch/dinner or to the hospital so that I could see him. Very stressful ... But I'm still really glad that she thought of me and how things would be stressing me out.

Merry Christmas to anyone who can accept it - if not just forget I said it. And I hope you are all going to manage to get through the day in the best way possible.

Scarletdreamer 24-12-2009 10:56 PM

Kahlia, glad you're seeing your GP soon. :) I'm sorry to hear about your flatmate... that must be rough. I hope that he'll be okay and that you have a Merry Christmas... must be odd having it in the middle of summer!! (right?)

*hugs Kiera* That's awesome - way to be positive!! :D I hope that you have a Merry Christmas also. :)

I'm doing, well, not great. Overate at supper just like I knew I would, not too much support here or privacy for my husband to talk with me... wrote a thread on the ED board about how stuff is here (parents' house) so maybe you could check that out if you have the time?

Christmas Eve right now... am looking forward to tomorrow. Gahhh. Hope it's better than today...

*hugs everyone*

Kahlia1981 25-12-2009 11:00 AM

Well it's nearly the end of christmas day (yes April in the middle of summer). I've had an okay day but right now I just feel bloody awful. I accidentally allowed my flatmate to see the scratches on my chest from the other night when I went psychotic ... I just want to disappear right now ..

Scarletdreamer 25-12-2009 12:06 PM

Aw Kahlia... *gentle hugs* That sucks. Maybe you can explain a bit to your flatmate? because generally just leaving it be doesn't work. You won't get thrown out of this flat if you go psychotic, right? (and why was that "rule" in effect at your last living place?)

Christmas morning here... no snow... snow 1200 miles further south & rain here - which is totally messed up!! - boo hiss. I like white Christmasses. It really hasn't snowed all that much here. :( Things are going okay... I'm really beginning to wonder if the Abilify is causing my eating disorder to "act up." I doubt it but it's just a nagging thought in my mind. :-/ It probably can't do that, but you never know, I guess, how a med will work on a person's brain chemicals. Gahhh.

Last night was horrid. I wrote about it in that thread in the ED forum, don't want to take up too much space here. I'm feeling a little better today... but it won't last, I don't think. (Geez, I am SO POSITIVE!!!!)

Anyway. *hugs everyone and leaves some calorie-free fudge for those who want some*

Kahlia1981 25-12-2009 06:15 PM

Morning all ... well it's morning here anyway ......... if you call 4am morning.

April - I've had a chat with my flatmate and he knows that I've been doing it tough in relation to my psychotic symptoms and my tendency to selfharm - although in reality I've now made it to 1 year and 4 months SI free, except for a couple of slips and the attack when I was psychotic. He's going through hell as well at the moment.

It's boxing day here and I've been awake now for 4 hours. It's been raining solidly for most of the time. An hour ago I gave up even trying to sleep because I had just been tossing and turning. I don't know if it was my head, or the rain, or what. I should explain, where I live it hardly ever rains, something like 1 year in every 4 we get a wet season/ Thankfully in this flat we don't have to bail out water ever time it rains. Last summer the house we were in kept getting flooded so we did have to keep bailing water. You couldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time or the water would reach the bedrooms - we rented the underneath of a house as student accommodation.

Oh, and there's nothing to say that we'll get kicked out of this house if we go psychotic. The last place we lived that rule came into effect because our landlord (who also lived in the house) was terrified that it might scare his fiancee and so on and so forth. He kicked my flatmate out for having a psychotic epidsode and I left before it could happen to me.

Anyway I'll stop rambling. Good night or good morning depending where you are in the world.

*hugs everyone*

one_step_closer 25-12-2009 08:24 PM

I really need some support. I'm feeling so suicidal but i'm not going to act on it, which is the worst part. I can't do anything to hurt my brother but I just want out of here and it's not because of the time of the year.

Scarletdreamer 25-12-2009 08:26 PM

Ahh I see. That's an odd rule to have at your last flat... heh. Glad it doesn't apply where you're living right now... and congratulations on making it that far without SI'ing!! That's awesome. I made it for 581 days without cutting, but SI'd once in awhile (and I conveniently forgot about that last bit until just recently when I read old journal entries). That was back in 2006-2007... started back up cutting in winter 2007 and haven't quit since, nor counted days again. I thought I was going to be rid of it for good then, guess I have no hope left. :(

It's raining here too... very weird as it's the middle of winter. It's supposed to snow!! heh. I hate - HATE - brown Christmasses. Oh well. :-/

I don't want to drink anything. I don't want to!! *fights healthy part of self as well as her husband* I've not drunk a lot of water today and I need more if I want to lose this water weight. I have a VitaminWater next to me but I don't want to drink it... arghhhh... for f**k's sake why can't I just be normal?!!?

shadow-light 25-12-2009 08:36 PM


Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 2054857)
Oh, and there's nothing to say that we'll get kicked out of this house if we go psychotic. The last place we lived that rule came into effect because our landlord (who also lived in the house) was terrified that it might scare his fiancee and so on and so forth. He kicked my flatmate out for having a psychotic epidsode and I left before it could happen to me.

rules like that are awful!!!

A while back we lost a flat when the landlord found out about my alters and made the argument that technically that meant that we were breaking the lease by having children in the flat :ermm:

also... *waves* hi... I've never really used this thread before...

Stellata 25-12-2009 08:37 PM

He needs to ... something.

Scarletdreamer 25-12-2009 08:56 PM

Welcome to the thread, shadow. :) Good to see you here. And that rule is effing ridiculous!!! So stupid. :( *hugs*

My tummy hurts. :(

Jetforce 26-12-2009 01:55 PM

*sigh* :(

Scarletdreamer 26-12-2009 02:04 PM

*hugs Jet* What's up?

Not feeling the best myself at the mo... but just got some new clothes that actually fit the way I like them to fit... so that's good. :-/

Jetforce 26-12-2009 02:07 PM

i should be happy but i'm not.....meh oh well, *sigh*

*hugs scarlet* how u doing there? i'm glad ur clothes fit, i bet watever u bought looked nice on yah

Canis 26-12-2009 05:17 PM

I've never been here before, but I really need a safe space right now...

*curles up in a corner*

shadowedsoul 26-12-2009 06:21 PM

runs in curls up under some blankets in corner. argh **** please dont make me face this. please my freind cant die. i i i can loose her,please god no. please dont take my feind away i cant handle that .:ermm: :crying: :crying: :crying:

Canis 26-12-2009 06:54 PM


Originally Posted by shadowedsoul (Post 2056317)
runs in curls up under some blankets in corner. argh **** please dont make me face this. please my freind cant die. i i i can loose her,please god no. please dont take my feind away i cant handle that .:ermm: :crying: :crying: :crying:

*goes and hugs you really tight*

shadowedsoul 26-12-2009 07:02 PM

thanks canis. this sucks i knew this was coming,but i was hoping it wouldnt happen. i cant handle it if she dies,i cant lose her. life sucks.up in my room close to tears. family down stairs. cant be happy now. **** please god dont take my freind,please

Canis 26-12-2009 07:07 PM

Sounds like a horrible situation to be in :( I'm so sorry this is happening to you... *hugs some more and makes you your favorite tea*

Scarletdreamer 26-12-2009 07:19 PM

*gently cuddles Shadowedsoul* Do you want to talk about it at all? If so, that's fine - here is a place for being safe, for venting, for just calming down if you're upset. Talking about it may help, and I know that we are pretty good listeners. I'm so sorry that you are going through that right now... sounds like you definitely don't need to have to cope with that (if that made any sense!!)... *more cuddles*

*hugs Canis* Welcome to the thread. :) Nice to see a new face. How are you doing today?

*hugs Jet* The clothes I bought were actually guys' pants - one pair of camo and one pair of Wranglers, so I'm not sure if they look really great. Haha. But they are comfy, and that's what matters. Went shopping again later today - after Christmas sales - and bought some shirts from Hot Topic (punk/goth store) as well as a dressier one - a thermal, lol - from Gander Mountain. I was tempted by the Life is Good stuff (http://www.lifeisgood.com) but it was wayy too expensive, $35 for the shirt I wanted. I was NOT going to spend that much. We also got shooting gloves there, so I can target practice in the winter. :)


So I'm doing alright, I guess. Was too distracted at the mall to want to purge although I do want to now... boo hiss. I really hate these urges... :(

*hugs everyone*

Canis 26-12-2009 07:24 PM

*hugs back* Better now... had a reaaally bad fight with my fiancee over basically nothing... *sigh*

*scares the urges away for you*

shadowedsoul 26-12-2009 07:30 PM

thank you, dont really want to talk about it, dont handle death very well. just want to be little again. and hide pretend this isnt happening,sorry being a selfish bit*h and needy. im sorry

Canis 26-12-2009 07:32 PM

*hugs you some more* hey... you're not being selfish, it's okay. if you would like to talk more private, feel free to pm me, okay?

Scarletdreamer 26-12-2009 07:32 PM

The fights over nothing are always the worst. Been married for a bit over a year now and that's what I've found out. At the end you both feel stupid and neither wants to admit that s/he is wrong.

*holds shadowedsoul* You're welcome. Don't worry about talking about it... just take care of yourself the best you can, okay? *gentle hugs* And you're not a selfish person at all... just one who is struggling right now. I'm here if you need to talk as is Canis.

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