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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 17-09-2009 01:56 PM

I'm home again woooo :P

*hugs to all*

zowie 17-09-2009 08:57 PM

Welcome back Helen :) *Hugs*
How was your time away? xxx

Strawberry.Bananas 17-09-2009 09:02 PM

i have a blanket. can i come back? :-(

SoMuchMore 17-09-2009 09:50 PM

*waves to helen* welcome back! Hope your trip was good!
*hugs arwen*
*hugs strawberry.bananas* of course you can come in! you alright?

I'm not feeling any less horrible... *sigh* I'm just a stupid person.

Strawberry.Bananas 17-09-2009 10:53 PM

thanks hon. not really doing so well. things were going awfully as it was but i was coping by holding onto the fact that i had my relationship, with the guy that i love. now, my relationship has gone. and i can't cope anymore.

Kahlia1981 18-09-2009 03:00 AM

*hugs everyone*

Welcome back Helen ... I hope you enjoyed your holiday.

MammaMia 18-09-2009 11:25 AM

*hugs everyone*

I did enjoy most of my holiday. Had a few really bad blips though and nearly did a bad thing or two. But I'm home. Things are still really ****. But hey that's my life isn't it??? :( I just want my best friends to be okay more than anything :'( Oh and for my doctor to maybe CARE???

Oh & it's my nephew's birthday today. He's 14! Makes me want to cry lol. Don't want him to be that age lol, want him to stay little forever. We've pratically grown up together...

ScarlettAngel 18-09-2009 01:36 PM

why am i so sad tonight? i had a good day. but my bf is at work tonight, wont be home till morning. that cant be why im upset though... im not dependant on him for my happiness, am i? stupid tears. go away!
i dont want to depend on him, i dont think i do, im fine! arnt i?
argh im so grumpy and tired and sad and depressed and angry and confused and so over everything!!!!

i'll just sit here on the floor, under the table by the wall, cuddling Arnie, my best friend. he may be just a teddy bear to you, but he's the world to me! the only one who's been there by my side throughout every psych admission i ever had.
:'( need a cuddle

zowie 18-09-2009 02:06 PM

Well, it's going to be my last Friday night as a teen tonight. And I have nothing to do, and no money.
That pretty much sums me up.

Country Girl 18-09-2009 02:33 PM

*crying uncontrollably in the corner*
i think my problems drove one of the only 3 ppl who know what is going on with me away....how do i tell him i'm sorry without sounding desperate or like an idiot?
trying to control suicidal thoughts....but i'm afraid it's not working....
can I get some hugs? :(

youonlyliveonce 18-09-2009 03:20 PM

im really low im out on an overnight leave at my friends i just wanna be dead. im suppose to be making progress and the first time out on signficant amount of leave i just want to be dead wats wrong with me. i cnt do nething cus she is watching my every move i know i shud be grateful i just dont want to be alive.
sorry for the rant can i cum and hide in the corner can i have a hugs please

zowie 18-09-2009 03:47 PM

*Hugs Rach and Cheryl*
Sorry, I've not got any words. Thinking of you both xxx

frenchhorn 18-09-2009 05:43 PM

feel so low, just want to die, cant do anything without messing it up.

realflifefaerie 18-09-2009 08:56 PM

*hugs all*
I'm really sorry I'm not posting often, things are hectic and it just doesn't happen.

SoMuchMore 18-09-2009 09:49 PM

*hugs everyone* Sorry I'm too useless right now for individual replies... Everything always seems to hit all at once. Work is bad... bad bad bad. I don't think I can handle it.. I depersonalize really easily there. And there is so much else going on... My friend always tells me that it sucks that I never catch a break... but I just figure that is normal for everything to be going to sh*t all the time. The fact that he keeps saying that tho is making me wonder...

Sorry I know... pointless post..

Kahlia1981 19-09-2009 12:11 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm sorry to hear that a lot of us are struggling. *special hugs to all who need to know that someone cares about them*

My mood is still low. I'm starting to see the world in monochrome. I think I'm just going to hide in here for a bit. Otherwise I think my housemate will send me up to the hospital at some point if my mood doesn't start to lift...

lost in dreams 19-09-2009 01:02 AM

Hugs to everyone.

Kahlia1981 19-09-2009 06:51 AM

*hugs everyone then goes and sits in a corner and crying because she can't cry IRL*

SoMuchMore 19-09-2009 08:06 AM

*hugs kahlia*

I'm so tipsy right now, its fantastic. First time I've felt ok in awhile... too bad it won't last.

Kahlia1981 19-09-2009 11:19 AM

*hugs Laura* ~ I know how you feel
*hugs everyone else*

I've had a slight repreive from my mood - I've become numb. I guess it's a good thing but both me and my housemate are concerned that it's the calm before the storm ...

~*Rainbow*~ 19-09-2009 01:15 PM

need to check in - feeling so low right now - cant get through days without crying - have been the strong one for all my mates and im drained - no time for myself no time for my family - money worries stressing me out - just wanna curl up and sleep and never wake up - cant take this any more really cant

Breifly_Tragic </3 19-09-2009 04:04 PM

*Hugs to everyone*
Sorry I haven't been around in a whilee. But i'm back now and I hope you are all ok :)

zowie 19-09-2009 05:22 PM

My lovely ol' cat Kizzy is keeping me company and keeping me happy.
*Brings Kizzy into the ward*
She's old and fat, but she's so loving and silly - Maybe she can curl up on some of your laps and make you all smile? :)

Long*Past 19-09-2009 07:02 PM

*leaves hugs and warm blankies for everyone*

Kahlia1981 19-09-2009 09:08 PM

*hugs everyone*

I woke up at 4:15 this morning from a weird dream. I wouldn't have woken up but I dreamt that a spider landed on my back and that jolted me awake. Now it's about two hours later and I'm scared to try and go to sleep incase the dream picks up the threads and continues. That probably sounds stupid .... My mood is still really low. I thought it was improving but I guess I'm not that lucky.

zowie 19-09-2009 10:27 PM

That is so bloody weird Kahlia! Last night I woke up and was absolutely sure I'd seen a spider the size of my hand on my ceiling. I think I dreamed it, woke up and thought I'd been awake the whole time. So I ran downstairs to get my dad to get rid of it (I'm arachnophobic). He came upstairs, turned on the light and I told him that I saw it above my bed. He pointed out that I wouldn't have been able to see it because it was so dark, and then he spotted a (much smaller than I'd dreamed) spider above my bed.
If that wasn't weird enough, now you're having a nightmare about a spider at around the same time in the night (when I woke up it was about 4am).
I waffle too much :P

Do you know what's causing the low mood? Maybe it was picking up but had a lapse because of the early waking?

xxx

Kahlia1981 19-09-2009 11:08 PM

Arwen ~ I wish I knew what was causing the low mood but there is no discernable cause. I have to say that I'm arachnaphobic as well and the weird thing about the dream was that the spider was in it and I didn't wake up until the spider jumped on me. Normally the sight of a spider in my dreams would wake me.

*hugs everyone*

I went for a short jog a bit earlier. Trying to get myself moving and the endorphins kicking. I just got out of breath ... but at least I'm doing something to keep myself sane because otherwise the mood will take over.

Strawberry.Bananas 20-09-2009 09:14 AM

Y'know, I woke up this morning and for an all-to-brief second, I was happy. Course, it hurt all that much more to fall back down to Earth and realise it was all a dream.
I don't know how much longer I can cope with feeling like this.

Kahlia1981 20-09-2009 11:20 AM

Vicki ~ Cherish those brief moments of happiness if you can. I'm sorry you aren't feeling too good. Did you want to talk about it? This is a safe place if you do. *hugs you*

*hugs everyone - including those hiding in corners*

shadowedseraph 20-09-2009 01:54 PM

*checks self in* i'm not ok and i dont know where to turn

Strawberry.Bananas 20-09-2009 02:26 PM

Thanks Khalia. I'm just really not in a good place. My life had pretty much broken down anyway, losing my job, home life is lousy, my sister wants me out of the house so she can move back in with her kids but without a job I can't afford it. I was holding onto my relationship. That's the only thing I had going. And now that's gone. It's hard to deal with that on it's own. But having nothing else...I'm just falling with nothing to hold onto.

shadowedseraph 20-09-2009 03:18 PM

*hugs vicki* you can hold onto us, we're here listening to you

Country Girl 20-09-2009 03:24 PM

sorry...i feel like i've been posting too much everywhere.....
*huddled in the corner*
am very unsafe....just in a really bad place right now....

shadowedseraph 20-09-2009 03:31 PM

*joins Rach in her corner and cuddles* can you tell me about it hon?

MammaMia 20-09-2009 03:38 PM

Vicki, you can definately hold onto us and me =) I know I haven't been a great friend recently for not really being around but I still care about you.

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry I'm being really quiet at the moment.

Country Girl 20-09-2009 03:38 PM

just in a bad place....suicidal....everything's just so messed up....not sure of the point anymore

shadowedseraph 20-09-2009 03:42 PM

*hugs Rach* have you got someone in RL you can phone, a crisis team perhaps or the samaritans? I'm here for you to listen and to talk but it isnt the same :) *hugs more*

Country Girl 20-09-2009 03:49 PM

i've tried talking to pple in rl, but they don't understand.....there's no point

shadowedseraph 20-09-2009 03:52 PM

There is a point sweetie, its hard to find it but its there

airfobrat 20-09-2009 04:04 PM

*slowly opens the door and peeks in*
new in here...need a place to feel safe from everything

so much going through my head...not sure which to believe or listen to
urges to SI are so great...

*curls up in the corner and cries*

shadowedseraph 20-09-2009 04:48 PM

*gently hugs airfobrat* welcome to the ward and to one of its many corners try not to si i know its hard, but talk to us instead :) we dont bite (unless asked reaaaly nicely)

realflifefaerie 20-09-2009 05:32 PM

*hugs everyone*

Went back to work today, I left to go to uni over a year ago. It was really weird but good all at the same time. Feel really unwell now though, not that thats anything new.

Strawberry.Bananas 20-09-2009 08:53 PM

Thanks guys. The only time I'm feeling...well, not suicidal, at the moment is when I'm out driving (well, being driven by my mum). I think I need to join the circus.

*hugs everybody*
Sorry I can't do anything more x

MammaMia 20-09-2009 09:09 PM

I'm being so pathetic :'(

~*Rainbow*~ 20-09-2009 09:14 PM

time to give up me thinks
dont have words to explain all that i am going through but i wish i did!!!!

I just wanna be free again............dont want to feel trapped...............wanna be outta scotland................i hate this place and the people in it .......................

free
how nice that would be

MammaMia 20-09-2009 09:39 PM

*cuddles Gil tight*

SoMuchMore 21-09-2009 12:31 AM

*hugs rainbow* i'm sorry you don't feel free... don't give up.
*hugs helen* you are not pathetic. Hope you are alight.

I am very tired... physically, mentally, emotionally... Thinking the way I am thinking is exhausting. I am so unsafe right now... I just can't turn my brain off, i hate this.

airfobrat 21-09-2009 03:55 AM

omg..more crap hit the fan today

another f*cker who is denying having had sex with me...even to the point of lying to me about it!!

i just want to know what i did to deserve this....it isn't fair.

*cries harder*

Kahlia1981 21-09-2009 08:01 AM

*hugs everyone* ~ sorry that it can't be more. There's been an awful lot of posts since I last checked in. I hope you all are starting to feel better but want to offer more hugs to all who need them.

I'm still down. I feel worse this afternoon than I have for awhile. And from where I'm coming from that's not a good sign. I'm just going to curl up in a corner and cry since I can't cry IRL.

MammaMia 21-09-2009 11:11 AM

*hugs everyone lots and lots*

Got my blood re-test today, am shitting myself about it and the results :'(


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