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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 26-08-2009 10:56 AM

*hugs Laura back* Thank you sweetie

Wow Shayne, sounds like fun :D

Not having a good day. Collasped twice before bed. Then wasn't asleep til gone 3am. Then woke up about 7.30am and couldn't get back to sleep (but did) and have been waking up since. Then when down the stairs and passed out as I was heading down them, so obviosuly fell.

lolly_x 26-08-2009 11:29 AM

helen you need to get checked out.
You eating hunni bee

Kahlia1981 26-08-2009 12:10 PM

*offers hugs for everyone*

I went on a Leave of Absence from uni today just telling them straight out that I couldn't write and that was the reason why. I did a huge walk, some 90 minutes or so and got quite sweaty so now my wrist splint smells even worse as does the skin inside it. I had a phonecall tonight from the mental health team and they are going to ring me on the weekend. The chick didn't realise how much the shoulder surgery has damaged my life. Not that I'm ungrateful that it happened, but I would like some freedom and my independence back. It made me realise how much I've lost and now I feel kinda down. Oh well.

MammaMia 26-08-2009 12:21 PM

*gentle cuddles Kahlia* Sorry it's not more. I'm sure the surgery will have benefits for the long term rather than current short term???

Kahlia1981 26-08-2009 12:29 PM

*cuddles Helen back* - The surgery should mean that I have to worry no more about my shoulder popping out of it's socket. At least for 15 to 20 years or so. But all I can think of is all the things it's made me lose. Even though they are only short term losses. Kinda stupid I know.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

MammaMia 26-08-2009 12:32 PM

Not stuipd at all sweetie *squishes* When I last had surgery, I struggled to deal with it at times. :/

zowie 26-08-2009 01:12 PM

*Cuddles everyone*
Not in a fit state of mind to leave individual replies. Sorry.

youonlyliveonce 26-08-2009 03:22 PM

kahila i had shoulder surgery 2 years ago now i was in a sling or 3 months and cudnt play netball for 6 and still havent gone bk to playing rugby properly. it nearly killed me not playing or getting my mum to do everything for me. i had an interior anterior capsular shift. i hope u get ur independence bk soon. if u wanna chat just pm me or sumthing. big hugs hope u recover soon

zowie 26-08-2009 05:03 PM

My sis is coming round tonight :)

Steel Maiden 26-08-2009 05:47 PM

Hugs to all.

I never ever want to end up in that f-ing hospital again.

I will try hard to maintain adequate mental health.

Margo 26-08-2009 05:54 PM

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaah

zowie 26-08-2009 07:07 PM

Good for you Oly :)

And...er...good for you Pengy =P

Kahlia1981 26-08-2009 11:34 PM

*hugs all*

MammaMia 26-08-2009 11:42 PM

Struggling os bad.

Kahlia1981 26-08-2009 11:53 PM

*cuddles Helen*

Country Girl 27-08-2009 12:12 AM

Soo scared...so confused....tired of making everyone worry about me....
sorry i don't post except to get support, i don't give support very well sometimes....
will someone come hold me while i'm hiding in the corner?
*huddles and cries*

MammaMia 27-08-2009 12:17 AM

I have pills. I want to od. I just spent two hours talkign with my best friend which kept me safe. My sister's fast asleep so can't disturb her, she'd kill me for it. My sister's dog should be in his own bed but won't leave me either (he senses something's wrong?)....

Kahlia1981 27-08-2009 01:39 AM

*cuddles Rach*

*hugs Helen* - try and hold on hon and keep yourself safe

*leaves hugs for everyone*

When I have a day with nothing planned I get edgy like I am right now. Days seem so long ...

Katey-lou 27-08-2009 03:07 AM

:( sorry need to hide away im so useless. heads all over place and just a bit of a mess right now. and to top it of ive just had to have my older foster sister/best friend admited to hospital im mkent to be there for her and i cant, im so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kahlia1981 27-08-2009 03:09 AM

*hugs Katey*

Katey-lou 27-08-2009 03:15 AM

thankyou, i cant handle all this right now. i tried to be there for her i really did but i cant look after me let alone her, i know that itsstresses her out to see me unwell n shes had to see me go through **** n ive been a major major major mess and its taken its toll on her too. why does it feel like everything i tough just falls apart, everything i try to do fails, and all my mates n close people just get hurt!!!!!

SoMuchMore 27-08-2009 04:17 AM

*hugs helen* please try to stay safe hun
*hugs kahlia* I get really restless on days where i do nothing as well, it sucks most of the time.
*hugs katey-lou* I'm sorry things are hard for you right now...

Things are going badly... and i don't think i'm even allowed to talk about it... so i guess i'll just bottle it up.

MammaMia 27-08-2009 12:40 PM

Haven't overdosed. Meh. Feel like I've been hit by a truck or something. In so much agony. :'( Need to go back sleep but means returning to that evil, horrible, blasted nigthmare :'(

Kahlia1981 27-08-2009 01:08 PM

*hugs Katey*
*hugs Laura*
*hugs Helen*

*hugs anyone who wanders in and needs a hug*

I made it through the day now I just have to make it through the night ... and I'm not sure I know how to do that. I slept okay last night so should sleep well tonight but I've been so edgy and restless all day so I'm worried this will affect things. Oh well.

MammaMia 27-08-2009 01:20 PM

I hope you sleep well tonight Kahlia *hugs tight*

Detour. Derail 27-08-2009 06:46 PM

jgytrtgvbokhgtrs4rexclkngjdfs43sd7hb9yttrwwexlk kl;hgytrw4tghiok ihufderrxzcui,';pohgtdfs5fgoplmnkjhgsf4dvbolmnyrt! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Detour. Derail 27-08-2009 10:34 PM

IM SO FULL OF HATE!!!
IM ACTUALLY REALLY ANGRY AND I DONT KNOW WHY :@
Im never gonna be a good person. I cant stop being angry.
I hate this

Kahlia1981 28-08-2009 12:40 AM

*hugs Helen*
*hugs Alexx*
*hugs everyone in the ward that she can find*

I slept fairly okay but my body didn't want to get itself out of bed this morning. I've been feeling nauseous since I took my morning meds. The body seems to have calmed down now but I feel like I'm playing the waiting game ... waiting for the nurses to come shower me. I've arranged it so I leave the house today and do some walking which should stop the edgy feeling but at the moment I'm edgy purely because of the waiting.

*leaves hugs for everyone and goes and hides in a corner*

SoMuchMore 28-08-2009 01:34 AM

*walks in with blankets, pillows, and cookies for everyone. Proceeds to hug everyone, and then goes into the denial tent*

MammaMia 28-08-2009 07:58 AM

I am so ****ing pissed off.
But for now I must take this evils leepin med and sleep >,>

realflifefaerie 28-08-2009 11:22 AM

I'm really sorry I've been rubbish and not around recently. Am off for a week again, probably a very stressful week.

Leaves cuddles.

xxx

zowie 28-08-2009 01:49 PM

*Cuddles the lovely people in the psych ward*
I'm so sorry people are struggling at the moment, I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom or comfort. I'm useless. But I am thinking of you all, and I love you to bits xxx

MammaMia 28-08-2009 04:01 PM

I ****ing hate professionals even more now. Went to A&E last night, because a cut kept re-opening somehow and obviously bleeding. Despite everything I did. Plus suicide thoughts were increadibly bad. So anyway. Cut was considered 'ok' but she sterri stripped it and stuff. I actually even asked to see a psychartrist (or whoever). Then was waiting til 4.30am (was then falling asleep...) who I managed to say a lot too. He knew I was a danger to myself if I was allowed home. So he said he'd ask for my gp to (hopefully) see me Monday and I would have Home Treatement Team. Oh and two tablets for me to sleep this morning (and I did) and for tonight (can't wait). Visits are for today and tomorrow (I think). Til my mum's home (despite my sister being here). But could speak to them anytime. He went away (to make phone calls and get my meds) came back and wittered on and on about something to do with my gp, cpn (only seen her once and she was awful ugggh) and local mental team. So not 100% what's going on there.

He then came back with my meds and told me I could go home. But I was asked to stay a litle longer (they didn't want me to walk home in the dark) and after everyone went I kicked off but nobody knows, except Jade who was down the phone to me. >.< Then like at 6.40ish, they kicked me out with no infortmation about how to look after my wound, when take plaster off etc...whatsoever.

Then spoke to my sister juust (she found an empty this morning and was angry I didnt get in contact or left a note- was planning to text when phone died)...and it was the usual shouting, tears, you're not trying to help yourself hard enough etc etc etc. SO ****ING TIRED OF BEING TOLD THAT!!!!!!!!!!! IF i wasn't tryying hard enoyug, I WOULDNT HAVE GONE A&E. I WOULDN'T HAVE BEGGED FOR HELP. I WOULD HAVE JUST SIMPLY OVERDOSED AND OTHER DAMAGE.

Should have stormed out at 5.30am like I was considering and just killed myself. Would have been best for all round.

lolly_x 28-08-2009 04:12 PM

sorry can't do indidual replies right now but you know helen i'm thinking of you...


I'm not ready for this holiday and it looks like all my plans have ****ed up for my future... well done laura well done...

MammaMia 28-08-2009 04:23 PM

Forgot to say sorry for not really doing indvidual replies either. *hugs to everyone*

Laura, thank you sweetie xxx

lolly_x 28-08-2009 04:27 PM

tries to forget this whole holiday and stuff... hard though when you **** off a 6am

MammaMia 28-08-2009 04:31 PM

*squishes tight* It'll be over in a week sweeite and we can etxt loads?x xx

lolly_x 28-08-2009 04:33 PM

yeah we will text helen and i'll have mobile msn to annoy you with...

MammaMia 28-08-2009 05:13 PM

*runs away already* :P

Steel Maiden 28-08-2009 05:57 PM

*hugs everyone*

I managed to study today but I just wish my Demons would leave me alone....

MammaMia 28-08-2009 07:47 PM

Can't stop crying :/

SoMuchMore 29-08-2009 02:01 AM

*hugs Helen*

My dog is dying... I am lost.

YodaBearInterrupted 29-08-2009 04:39 AM

*hugs everyone*

I just... wish I could go back in time. To make them go away.

*sits in the corner and cries*

Kahlia1981 29-08-2009 06:46 AM

*hugs everyone*

Sorry no individual replies - things move fast in here

I think I need to just sit in a corner until I disappear from sight ....

MammaMia 29-08-2009 11:29 AM

You're not disappearing Kahlia, we love you.

Laura, I am so sorry to hear about that *squishes*

PapaBear 29-08-2009 01:46 PM

*hugs everyone extra super duper much*

I've come back to my parents' place for a few days. I'm sick again, blood can't clot on its own, something is attacking the platelets. I don't feel sick exactly, just tired and sluggish, and i kind of feel like someone beat the living crap out of me.

went to hospital the other day, was told that basically everything is shutting down, been given three months at the most.

my family still doesn't know i'm as sick as i am. mom won't talk to me, dad's still recovering from cancer treatment.

i'm not scared to die.















okay fine, i'm scared out of my mind. i don't want to take my meds anymore, not the ones for my mental health, and not the ones for my physical health, what's the point when i won't need them soon anyways?

i wish i would just die and get it over with.

i'm just so numb, i don't even feel the broken rib anymore.

FML

MammaMia 29-08-2009 02:10 PM

Oh Shayne.

You've fought it off last time and they thought you'd die. Who's to say you won't again?? *cuddles tight*

zowie 29-08-2009 02:57 PM

*Cuddles Helen* The crap you went through with the professionals sounds annoying, I really hope you get the support you need soon (and without too much fuss!)

*Hugs Laura* I hope this holiday isn't too bad hun. And like Helen said, it'll be over in a week.

*Hugs Oly* Tell them to **** off!! ...I know it's not always that easy to get rid of them, I hope things have eased up a bit.

*Clings to Kahlia* Please don't disappear :(

*Cuddles Shayne* Like Helen said, you've managed to defy the doctors' predictions before, it's very possible you can do it again. Don't give up sweetie, keep fighting.

----

It's my party tonight. Early birthday thing. I'm really really looking forward to it :) Wish I didn't drink so much beer at the pub last night though - Feeling a little run down and bloated. Need to shake it off before I start the BBQ!

Love and hugs to all
xxx

MammaMia 29-08-2009 03:02 PM

Arwen, it WAS annoying, believe me. I nearly kicked off but didn't. *cuddles back* Enjoy tonight sweetie, you deserve it xxx

Detour. Derail 29-08-2009 03:38 PM

ffs :'(
Why does everyone think I'm going to fail?
My mum came in and called me a lazy bitch....Call me crazy but normally I greet people with "hello" not insults. Apparentlly packing for uni is an "excuse" to sit on my "fat arse all day"....because i dont have a full time job or anything *rolls eyes*

Then I go to my room to get AWAY from her and she follows me...start scrutinising the stuff I bought to take with me...and then started talking about how she "know I cant budget" how she knows I'll probably blow all my funds in the first few weeks and how she and dad wont bail me out....but before my dad said they'd help me out as much as possible.
Im sick of this.
Im all pent up inside. I need to let it OUT....
I hate her.
I hate this.
Why is she so sure I'm going to fail?
Am I really THAT much of a let down?


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