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Mary Anne 05-04-2009 04:35 PM

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been MIA for a bit, work is crazy just now and I don't want to look at a computer when I get home.

Nevertheless you are all in my thoughts
*hugs everyone tight*

my news - had my first date last night!!!!!!!
told him all about my mental issues and SI and he was very good about it (none of the you can't do that stuff I normally get from people)

*leaves hugs*

x

zowie 05-04-2009 06:24 PM

That's really nice to hear Mary Anne :) x

Damnation. 05-04-2009 09:05 PM

@__@

And yay Mary-Anne!

MammaMia 05-04-2009 09:13 PM

Kahlia, I'm glad you're doing a litter better. I'm struggling but having to hide it completlyat the moment. Fun times. For past few days my mum been really nice to me, which means she's more worried about me than usual. But...I think that's settling down, as she doesn't know my state of mind but it's worried about it I bet....Also it seems everywhere has stopped selling the only painkillers I can take, well ok, it's not the ONLY one, but I prefer to not have one type which lots of types have...

Arwen, you okay? Welcome back to the denial tent ;)

Mary Anne, that's great news sweetie *cuddles*

Dayna *massive cuddles* What's up?

Damnation. 05-04-2009 09:20 PM

*Big cuddles back* Spaaaaaceyyyyy

MammaMia 05-04-2009 09:42 PM

*cuddles* Do you know what set it off hun?

Tears of Solitude 05-04-2009 10:22 PM

Sorry I have been away for a while. I havent been too good the past week. I still feel like I am sinking in quick sand, battling my own demons.

I have missed everyone so much.

Big Hugs to everyone xxx

Love Jade xxx
PS I dont know how much longer I can keep fighting

Long*Past 05-04-2009 11:27 PM

Those dark thoughts keep creeping into my mind.
The ideas of how to make this so much easier.
The endless ways I could end it all.
Escape all the pain inside...

I'm terrified...
I don't want to be here inside my head!
I can't keep thinking like this...
It's poisoning me.
I'm getting sick from it.
I'm scared...
I'm so scared...

I have two rehearsals today, and I am not ready for festival this week. I don't have ANY of my speech arts stuff memorized... and I'm performing on Tuesday...
I'm so dead...
I can't fail at this stuff.
I can't do it.
I don't want to fail at another thing in mylife...

MammaMia 06-04-2009 12:04 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry it's not more :(

Kahlia1981 06-04-2009 12:14 AM

*offers hugs and cuddles to everyone*

MammaMia 06-04-2009 03:01 AM

*clings on Kahlia*

Long*Past 06-04-2009 03:58 AM

*packs a bag and crawls into denial tent*

Kahlia1981 06-04-2009 05:17 AM

*cuddles Helen*
*offers supplies for denial tent to Ashley*
*offers apologies to anyone she might have offended .... *

Damnation. 06-04-2009 06:45 AM

*Screams her ****ing head off*

PEOPLE NEED TO GET THE **** OVER ****. People need to stop acting like a ****ing child.

Guess what, honey? I've changed. I'm NOT who you used to know! I am darker, more horrible, I am not me any more. I am not 'Däyna', because she's dead. UNDERSTAND THAT? SHE'S ****ING DEAD.

I am sick and ****ing tired of trying to work myself up to talk to someone, and then have stupid, narrow minded **** like 'LOL I'M NOT GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT' thrown back at me. And then when I get awkward, and realise that the ****er in question isn't who I should be talking to and try and change the subject? Just a 'whatever', followed by a hasty ****ing departure.

FINE. **** OFF THEN. ****ING WASTE OF SPACE. YOU TWO FACED DAMNED ****. YOU ONLY PRETEND TO GIVE A **** WHEN IT SUITS YOU, WHEN IT MAKES YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU ONLY PRETEND TO GIVE A DAMN WHEN WE'RE TALKING IN A PUBLIC THREAD; SO LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, YOU DON'T ****ING CARE.

I have got to summon up the courage to get you out of my damned ****ing life

Kahlia1981 06-04-2009 06:57 AM

*holds Dayna while she screams* ~ let it all out hon ... get rid of all the nasties if you can. *offers you hugs*

MammaMia 06-04-2009 09:22 AM

I have the start of a migraine, hate this :( Don't mind the pain....but the eyesight thing I cannot stand :(

Kahlia1981 06-04-2009 09:37 AM

*offers Helen some strong painkillers for her migraine*

*leaves hugs for all*

Damnation. 06-04-2009 03:10 PM

*Hugs Helen* x_O Is there nowt you can take for the migraine*

*Hugs Kahlia back* Thankfully, I'm calmer now. Just tired

MammaMia 06-04-2009 04:00 PM

Painkillers never work when it comes to my headaches anymore, espically my really bad ones. Argh it's so painful today, I'm going to go back to bed now I think for a little while as I've been out today :)

~*Rainbow*~ 06-04-2009 04:22 PM

*hugs Helen* - Wish I could Help the Pain Sweetie, but I know how you feel my shoulder's still sore :'(

*Leaves BIG Bags Of Mini egss For Everyone*

Im making chocolate Nests tomorrow thats if my shoulder is better :'(

[Fog] 06-04-2009 04:48 PM

*Sneaks in quietly and unobtrusively*

*Curls up in corner and clutches her head*

zowie 06-04-2009 05:02 PM

Binged.
Angry.

Mary Anne 06-04-2009 05:18 PM

Zowie - I just binged too, know that feeling of shame on myself all too well.

Helen - I hope you have been hiding under your duvet covers, the migraine aura is horrible (I get them too), hope you feel better soon.

*holds Dayna*

Another Monday done

*leaves hugs for all*

x

MammaMia 06-04-2009 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Rainbow*~ (Post 1534556)
*hugs Helen* - Wish I could Help the Pain Sweetie, but I know how you feel my shoulder's still sore :'(

*hugs Gil* thanks babe.

Quote:

Originally Posted by banana89 (Post 1534608)
*Sneaks in quietly and unobtrusively*

*Curls up in corner and clutches her head*

Are you okay sweetie? *offers cuddles*

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1534648)
Binged.
Angry.

*offers cuddles*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Anne (Post 1534682)
Helen - I hope you have been hiding under your duvet covers, the migraine aura is horrible (I get them too), hope you feel better soon.

Sadly not, been for a walk && lunch today, was really good actually and then had nearly two hours of sleep when I got home, as one of my sisters went back to her place and my mum and one of my other sisters went out. I hope I'm better soon too..

I've got a funeral to attend tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. It's for my best friend's dad so me, my notetaker and another person from the choir are all attending to give her support and I'd met her Dad once. Don't know how I'll act tomorrow hmm.

zowie 06-04-2009 08:22 PM

Okay. Feeling a bit better now so I can do a few individual replies.


Helen - Hope the migraine passes. Good luck at the funeral tomorrow, it's nice to hear you're there for your friend. *Hugs*

Mary Anne - Ugh. I hate the guilt that follows. Not to mention the fact that I feel completely sick. It's passed now, but I'm going out drinking tonight which means I'll be drinking beer which is just going to add to the fat.

Hello Banana. Don't know if you've ever ventured in here before, but if not, welcome. Make yourself comfortable and post as much as you need.

Gil - Hope your shoulder feels better soon. *Offers painkillers and chocolate*

*hugs Kahlia back*

Dayna - *Hugs* Hope your feeling better now. I'm sorry you were feeling so bad and I wasn't here when you were.

Ashley - What have you packed in your bag for a stay in the denial tent? I've got chocolate and magazines to keep us going :)

Sorry I didn't do the replies in order, I just read each post from bottom to top :P

I'm going to see some old high school friends tonight. The old gang always goes on nights out but never invited me because I was hanging out with cunts. Now I've stopped seeing the **** people they're used to not having me around I guess. They didn't even invite me tonight, I just phoned one of them to see if she wanted to come round and she said I could come out with them. I feel a little unwelcome, but I really want to see some of them so I'm going.
My little sister has a friend round who just pretended to be stupidly hyper on coca cola. It was really annoying, and eventually I had to take the cola away from her. Ugh. Children >.<

Damnation. 06-04-2009 08:39 PM

Arwen: Yeah, I'm alright now. I did a lot of venting last night, all over the show, and that helped take the edge off my fury =D. I changed my Facebook status to 'Tödlich Axtell is annoyed because she tried to tell someone something that's been on her mind for a while, just for the other person to respond like a child' and the retard in question saw it, 'cause he left a comment. Which he deleted before I got the chance to read it <__<;;

ksdfjhlksajf 06-04-2009 08:58 PM

*Walks in* Can I stay here for a while please? I think I need to.

Tears of Solitude 06-04-2009 09:51 PM

::::::::::::: big hugs to everyone ::::::::::::::::::

Sorry thats all I can manage at the moment xxx

~*Rainbow*~ 06-04-2009 09:56 PM

Thanks Zowie - my physio has cleared my ankel injuries which means i can play football on sat but i dont have the heart to play!!! And dont worry im used to children acting stupid im a Brownie Leader (their parents give them Irn Bru just before they come to meets)

*hugs Hells* Aww babez why didnt you tell me you had a funeral to go to!!! *Big Squishes* Here have my lil monkey bear to cuddle till your head feels better *hands Hells Monkey Bear*

*hugs Fairytales* Of course you can stay hun is everything ok?

*hugs Jade* - Thats okay darlin are you ok? *Offers lil foxy bear to cuddle*


I just wanna be back home i am missing Brum and my other half far to much! i just dont know how much longer i can cope being seperated from him!! and the rest of my life in Brum!!!


Plus the longer i stay up here the more i get my urges triggeres and old habits wanting to come back and i dont want them back!!!!

MammaMia 06-04-2009 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1535025)
Helen - Hope the migraine passes. Good luck at the funeral tomorrow, it's nice to hear you're there for your friend. *Hugs*

Thanks honey, I'll need that luck!!! *hugs tight*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fairytales Tell Tales (Post 1535124)
*Walks in* Can I stay here for a while please? I think I need to.

Sure thing :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tears of Solitude (Post 1535271)
::::::::::::: big hugs to everyone ::::::::::::::::::

Sorry thats all I can manage at the moment xxx

*cuddles tons and tons* Love you Jadey poo :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Rainbow*~ (Post 1535286)
*hugs Hells* Aww babez why didnt you tell me you had a funeral to go to!!! *Big Squishes* Here have my lil monkey bear to cuddle till your head feels better *hands Hells Monkey Bear*

I just wanna be back home i am missing Brum and my other half far to much! i just dont know how much longer i can cope being seperated from him!! and the rest of my life in Brum!!!


Plus the longer i stay up here the more i get my urges triggeres and old habits wanting to come back and i dont want them back!!!!

*cuddles lots* I told you now why, thanks for the bigh squishes and the monkey bear *cuddles monkey :P* I jnow how much you're missing home but you'll be back soon enough I hope, you better come back :( When you do get back, we're gonna have a blast!!!!!!

~*Rainbow*~ 06-04-2009 10:38 PM

*hugs Hells*
Dont worry babe I Will be back and thats a promise - you know where I am if you need me tomorrow

wildly insane 07-04-2009 12:19 AM

*hugs all* sorry bit out of the loop, had a weekend away and an interview to prepare for, which went okay, I thought I was doing okay, but I think I was kidding myself, will sleep and hope tomorrow is better.

*hugs again* hope you guys are doing okay and if you're not then I hope tomorrow is better and that you find the strength to keep fighting.

[Fog] 07-04-2009 01:10 AM

Hey everyone, sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier :) I'm Hannah, I'm pretty new to RYL and I stumbled across this thread and you all seem lovely! To give you some background I have clinical depression due to chronic pain and a big loss that I haven't come to terms with, I also have OCD, psychotic symptoms and I SI a lot. I know that's not interesting but I just thought I'd explain for next time I come and say something out of context :D

Hope everyone is doing ok, lots of hugs all round! xx

MammaMia 07-04-2009 01:21 AM

What a lovely introduction :) I hope you settle down well in here. We're not a scary bunch really, we just post pretty fast in here. But we're a lovely bunch. Hope you're doing okay? *squish*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

omg. I am so ****ed off.

[Fog] 07-04-2009 01:30 AM

Thanks :) Yeah I'm doing alright actually, normally this time of night is really bad for me but I'm doing well distracting myself. Well. So far anyway... How are you?

[Fog] 07-04-2009 04:10 AM

*rocks gently forwards and backwards*

*tries to hide in the corner*

Jetforce 07-04-2009 04:18 AM

Yay..i got discharged from hosp today

woohoo...freedom!!!!! lol

Hope every1 is alrite there *cuddles*

[Fog] 07-04-2009 04:22 AM

*looks up from her moping*

Well done you!!! :D Congratulations!

*gets out her pillow for bed*

Long*Past 07-04-2009 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1535025)
Ashley - What have you packed in your bag for a stay in the denial tent? I've got chocolate and magazines to keep us going :)

I've got lots of books. Romances and fantasies are abundant. I've also got plenty of orange Mike&Ikes! ^_^ Oh and I have teddies and blankies to cuddle.

ksdfjhlksajf 07-04-2009 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetforce (Post 1536009)
Yay..i got discharged from hosp today

woohoo...freedom!!!!! lol

Hope every1 is alrite there *cuddles*

Good job!

*goes back to corner and curls up crying*

wildly insane 07-04-2009 08:34 AM

Hey Jem welcome back, how are you doing? *hugs*

*hugs Hannah* heyup I'm Hannah too, I think I might get confused :)

*hugs Helen* hope the migraine has gone and that you're feeling a bit better

*hugs Ashley* you got everything you need there? what are orange Mike & Ikes?

*hugs Fairytale* what's up? You feeling any better today?

*hugs Gil* are you okay?

*hugs Arwen* How's it going? hope the guilt has gone, you don't deserve that. Did ou have a good time with your friends?

*hugs Dayna* some people just don't get it, sounds like the person in question really isn't worth your trouble, take care of yourself hun.

*hugs Kahlia* glad to hear you're doing a little better

*hugs Jade**hugs Shell**hugs MaryAnne**hugs Kat* (has anyone heard from her recently?)*hugs anyone else hiding in a corner and wanting a hug*

Right must get to work, so looking forward to some days off. Leaves some easter eggs hidden in the garden.

Kahlia1981 07-04-2009 11:08 AM

*hugs everyone*

Jem - yay for freedom. Now keep yourself safe.
Helen - oh yucky migraine's .... I hate them.

I put up dark curtains in my room today.... Yay. Hopefully it will be dark enough for me to sleep a bit easier. Fingers crossed.

World War III starts tomorrow with my house-mate && Qld Health. This could be interesting ....

Jetforce 07-04-2009 11:27 AM

Yah..i know! i better try and keep safe

I'm already have bad thoughts already..ugh..sucks to be me really :-(


But yah..hope u guys have a lovely day or had a lovely day xx

zowie 07-04-2009 01:26 PM

Wooo Jem! Well done for getting out of hospital, I hope your stay helped you.

--------------

I had a good time with my old friends last night. Only a few people who were actually part of the old gang were there but it was nice to talk to them.

My care co ordinator has cancelled our appointment today. Didn't really need to see her, but it was something to do today. Gosh the days are really dragging.

Damnation. 07-04-2009 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1536112)
*hugs Dayna* some people just don't get it, sounds like the person in question really isn't worth your trouble, take care of yourself hun.

*hugs Kat* (has anyone heard from her recently?)

I'm slowly distancing myself from the person in question. Which is quite easy, considering it's me who's putting 99% of the effort into what remains of our friendstil <__<;;.

And she's coming round mine tonight. With any luck, we might have some piccies xD

~*Rainbow*~ 07-04-2009 04:01 PM

*hugs Widly insane* Im ok kinda have the docs tomorrow for my shoulder

*hugs jem* congrats on gettin out *hands over some chocolate easter nests*

*hugs Damnation* If your putting in most of the work then its not a friendship - I've been there with people and its not good!! In fact the people i left behind in scotland told me they would always be there for me since i've come back i aint heard from them but I know that they aint worth it.

*hugs zowie* when plans and things get cancelled they days do tend to drag i find sometime by just gettin out walking and reading a book helps me keeps my days busy and not dragging - even taking up a craft like card making or painting might help as well

*hugs Fairytales tell tales* How are you today?
*hugs MammaMia* Hope your Head is better Sweetie
*hugs Kahlia1981* Hope your curtains have worked for you
*hugs *Sorcha*Loupvoix* * How are you doing? *Hands in extra fluffy pillows and more chocolate and Juice*
*hugs banana89* Are you ok darlin???? Dont hide in corners speak to Monkey *Hands Over Mr Monkey* He's a good listener and like to give hugs
*hugs Tears of Solitude* Are you okay???

Sorry i dont know everyones names im getting there slowly!!!! :(


************************************
I was on the phone tomy other half last night and i broke down in tears on the phone becasue i miss him so damm much!!

Dont know how much more of this i can take without going crazy! If only i could find a job and a place to stay down the road then i could be back! and start being happy all over again

But thats all small silly things..............

Eclectica 07-04-2009 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Rainbow*~ (Post 1536720)
*hugs Damnation* If your putting in most of the work then its not a friendship - I've been there with people and its not good!! In fact the people i left behind in scotland told me they would always be there for me since i've come back i aint heard from them but I know that they aint worth it.

(It's Damnation./Däyna - Kat's logged in and I cba to log into my own account for one reply XD)

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm gradually working on getting him out of my life, because he's just not worth it any more. Although as luck would have it, he keeps trying to talk to me kdfhjglsrkgh lriyjh ekhy khysk X____X

~*Rainbow*~ 07-04-2009 06:35 PM

Thats not so good, well sometime you have to be cruel to be kind jsut tell him that you have made a choice and that you dont want to see him for a while due to personal reason

ksdfjhlksajf 07-04-2009 08:10 PM

Yeah... I know it's hard to be tough like that!

How is everyone doing? I'm feeling a little better today.

~*Rainbow*~ 07-04-2009 08:43 PM

Glad your feeling a bit better fairytales


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