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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

wildly insane 07-03-2009 09:59 AM

absolutely pathetic, I want something f****** sharp all I end up with is some pathetic scratches, I hate blunt knives, that and I didn't get any relief at all and am now more wound up and angry than before I am completely in self-hate, self-destruct mode, how the hell am I supposed to concentrate on my job application *Screams silently*, no tears, I want to hurt and I don't know why.

Auburn Shadow 07-03-2009 11:29 AM

*hugs everyone* can't manage anything individual at the moment, and I'm sorry.

I'm not living at the moment, I'm... merely existing. Attempting to survive. And to be honest I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I'm just over 2 months SI free, and I'm determined that even though I'm going through god knows what at the moment, I... I'm not going to go back to that. Although to be honest I don't know how much of that is actually due to the fact that I don't even have the energy to cut at the moment.

I don't know what I'm doing. I really don't. It would be so easy to just press the self-destruct button and forget everything else.

Hana
x

~*Rainbow*~ 07-03-2009 01:03 PM

So i've done it

I've booked my bus back home to scotland!!! :'( I dont want to go but i have no choice at least then i am going to have a roof over my head!!!

My Partner says he will wait for me to come back down, but i am scared he wont!!! i dont know what else to do! i am so alone in a world full of people!!!

Help me

I jsut dont know what else to do going home to scotland seems my only option!!!!!!!!!!

Damnation. 07-03-2009 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auburn Shadow (Post 1469489)
*hugs everyone* can't manage anything individual at the moment, and I'm sorry.

I'm not living at the moment, I'm... merely existing. Attempting to survive. And to be honest I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I'm just over 2 months SI free, and I'm determined that even though I'm going through god knows what at the moment, I... I'm not going to go back to that. Although to be honest I don't know how much of that is actually due to the fact that I don't even have the energy to cut at the moment.

I don't know what I'm doing. I really don't. It would be so easy to just press the self-destruct button and forget everything else.

Hana
x

I know how you feel *hugs*

Mary Anne 07-03-2009 07:45 PM

*hugs everyone*

too tired to write

xx

wildly insane 07-03-2009 11:09 PM

*hugs everyone*

Eclectica 07-03-2009 11:15 PM

What to do when someone close to you won't shut up about SH. Urgh. I go afk for say a bath or any other reason and I come back to "hope yur nto SHing again" and that kinda thing. Makes me wanna do it.

Eclectica 07-03-2009 11:33 PM

How the flying **** do you shut someones ****ing mouth about SH when they don't ****ing understand what the **** you're going through!?

It stresses me to high hell AND MAKES ME WANT TO DO IT.

So mentioning it ain't helping. He's telling me to basically stop. And I don't want to. I need it.

What the **** to do.

Damnation. 08-03-2009 03:11 AM

OH GOD.

I WANT TO OD SO BAD.

Second day in a row. Last night, I was stupid. Swallowed the rest of the painkillers. Very low amount, didn't do anything. I knew it wouldn't. So I don't know why I did it.

Now I want to down my meds x____x. I'm in ****ing tears, 'cause the urge is so bad

Kahlia1981 08-03-2009 05:56 AM

*hugs all*

Quick update on me: I'm in a sort of better place now that I'm on Xanax. Not sure what the next step is but we shall see.

zowie 08-03-2009 10:09 AM

*Hugs all*
Wish I had money. *Sulks* x

Jetforce 08-03-2009 01:24 PM

*hugs arwen*

MammaMia 08-03-2009 10:40 PM

I know how you feel Arwen!!!!

I'm so ****ing low tonight :( Been crying all day, started on the bus when sorting an error out with my lunch and was then made to sit down next to someone (and thank god I did) and she was just so supportive giving me cuddles all the way home and stuff.....but it's gotten 1000 times worse since I got home....the sobbing >.< Think I'm outta tears and barely eaten or drank today..

Oh & Hana (Abhurn Shadow) won't be posting for a while....long story but she's not got the net at the minute.

Kahlia1981 09-03-2009 01:42 AM

Just dropping in to offer *big hugs* to all

Eclectica 09-03-2009 01:48 AM

funny

just

killme

MammaMia 09-03-2009 08:12 AM

I feel so dead and ill :(

Kahlia1981 09-03-2009 08:13 AM

*offers hugs and support to Kat*

*cuddles Helen*

MammaMia 09-03-2009 03:44 PM

*clings to Kahlia*

:(

zowie 09-03-2009 04:12 PM

*Cuddles Kat and Helen*

Why does the Jobcentre always **** up and waste my time?? x

Tears of Solitude 09-03-2009 05:49 PM

Helen Huge hugs

Katrica I hope the new meds work for you

Zowie Im sorry that you had to go to the job centre :( its so depressing in them places

I feel totally ****. I keep having flashbacks and nightmares about my past. It makes me not want to go to sleep. Waking up in tears having no control over your nightmares.

I just want to cry and cry but have no tears in me. I should be over it now but Im not.

I get angry with myself that Im not better, even thou I want to be better.

::::::::::::::::::::: hugs to everyone else tonite ::::::::::::::::::::::

MammaMia 09-03-2009 07:27 PM

Evberything is going oh so ****ing wrong. Maybe I should just die :D

Tears of Solitude 09-03-2009 08:38 PM

Checks in for life

I hate myself, I hate who I am. I hate having a past

Mary Anne 09-03-2009 08:40 PM

*holds Helen*

*hugs Arwen* no money is rubbish, I paid my factor bill today which means I am skint until pay day

*hugs Kat, Dayna, Jetforce, Ravyn, Kahlia, Nicole, and everyone else*

Was at the doc today, went okay except when I told her I have si'd since last visit - they get super concerned as I live alone, still I do appreciate that they are concerned.

On a postivie note, he who shall not be named came by yesterday and I would not let him in and told him where to go - felt very chuffed with myself :)

x

xtiggerx 09-03-2009 08:41 PM

Can i please check in here, no-one wants me anywhere else..

Pleeeaaassseee make the pain go away....

Eclectica 09-03-2009 09:17 PM

Psychologist first app tomorrow...

Tears of Solitude 09-03-2009 10:37 PM

Just Vented in the Rant and Venting forum. I think it really helped xxx

Good Luck with the psych tomorrow Katrica. Let us know how it goes if you can.

xxx Jade xxx

MammaMia 09-03-2009 10:56 PM

So bloody fed up :(

Eclectica 09-03-2009 11:08 PM

Shall do.

I think thers something more wrong with me. I keep knocking drinks over. All the time. Daily.

wildly insane 10-03-2009 12:52 AM

*hugs* checking in, need a break.

*hugs Jade* sorry to hear about the flashbacks hun, please don't get angry with yourself, it's not worth it *offers another hug*

Kat, good luck with the psych tomorrow *hugs*

*hugs Tigger* welcome, make yourself at home, we have a huge supply of blankets, corners, tissues, biscuits, tea and hugs, whichever takes your fancy and all if you so desire.

*hugs Helen* hope you don't feel so bad tomorrow

*hugs MaryAnne* *hugs Jem* *hugs Shell*

*hugs Arwen* good luck job hunting, i'm in the same boat and it sucks

*hugs Kahlia* how are the meds going? hope you're doing okay.

*hugs anyone else who drops by before I fall asleep*

Eclectica 10-03-2009 01:06 AM

So ****ing sick of everything getting infected. I'm in agony again with masses of infected cuts. All around my hips so I've no ****ing choice but to feel the damned pain. Why the **** does it happene evry damned time!? Even the ones with stitches and that have been cleaned get infected.

ravynsoul 10-03-2009 01:27 AM

*sending hugs around to everyone*

*offers some chocolate in hopes that it make some people feel better*

Kahlia1981 10-03-2009 01:33 AM

*offers hugs to all*

pez_barbie 10-03-2009 05:32 PM

can i come in im tired and low and really f**king sore

Mary Anne 10-03-2009 07:17 PM

*hugs everyone*

Kat - can you get savlon wound wash? I find it great for washing cuts etc (also great for piercings and healing tattoos!)

xx

MammaMia 10-03-2009 07:34 PM

Please may we skip to friday and then next friday please? :(

Steel Maiden 10-03-2009 07:47 PM

I did something horrible to my hand in an attempt to hurt Them inside me.

Eclectica 10-03-2009 08:19 PM

Just came back form seeing psychologist. He seems okaaaay. Didn't get to what my main problems are about my crew. Not even sure he understands it.

He basically said at the start about MPD "oh it;s just moods."

What the flying ****. Hope he understands it soon.

wildly insane 10-03-2009 11:42 PM

*hugs, hugs, hugs* I want it to be friday too.

BoundNoMore 10-03-2009 11:46 PM

*checks self in*
I need to stay here for a while. Hope that's ok
I am quite... stressed out, depressed, pissed off,
and to be honest... unsafe at the moment.

wildly insane 11-03-2009 12:29 AM

*hugs Amanda, offers a cuppa and a big comfy sofa to settle down in* stay as long as you want :)

MammaMia 11-03-2009 12:35 AM

Amannnnnnnnnnnnnda

Stay here forever this time please? Me misses you :(

BoundNoMore 11-03-2009 12:50 AM

*clings to Helen*
I miss you too doll

Life is so hard... feels like I am drowning... barely hanging on
I will try and stay but they say I don't deserve to be here... don't deserve to be alive. :-/

MammaMia 11-03-2009 01:10 AM

Who says you don't deserve to be alive?

BoundNoMore 11-03-2009 01:39 AM

voices...
they are so loud I cant hear anything else and I have BIG trouble concentrating.

Damnation. 11-03-2009 05:30 AM

Getting close to unsafe again. Getting...those urges again.

Kat: sdkgjdkjgh wtfssss, that's bullshit .__.;; *hugs*

MammaMia 11-03-2009 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoundNoMore (Post 1478102)
voices...
they are so loud I cant hear anything else and I have BIG trouble concentrating.

*squishes* Sorry it's nothing more

Kahlia1981 11-03-2009 01:23 PM

*hugs all*

I got a headache ... :(

Mary Anne 11-03-2009 02:40 PM

life is poop :(
I am a big fat blob that nobody likes, or at least that is how I feel right now.

*hugs Kahlia and offers a head massage*

*hugs Helen, Dayna, Amanda, Kat, Wildly, Steel Maiden, Shell, pez-barbie and anyone else coming in*

I just wish someone would cuddle me and tell me it will be okay but deep down I just know it won't *cries*

x

Steel Maiden 11-03-2009 04:47 PM

Thanks Mary Anne. *hugs you*
I just need to stay for a bit while I get my meds sorted out...the Clozapine is knocking me out so I am only taking a quarter of what I should be taking...Voices loud, feeling very paranoid...I want to change to Amisulpride.

Tears of Solitude 11-03-2009 08:42 PM

Sends a huge huge to Mary Anne xxx

:::::::::::::::: hugs to Katrice, Helen, Dayna, BoundNoMore and Steel maiden ::::::::::::::::::::::::

Feeling crap tonite so can I stay here forever. Im stressed and feel so alone right now.

< hugs > Jade xxx


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