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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Jetforce 15-02-2009 12:51 PM

*sneaks in and surprises helen with some hugs*

MammaMia 15-02-2009 12:59 PM

YAY

*hugs Jem lotssss*

=D

Eclectica 15-02-2009 04:04 PM

Sigh

One of my alters has won her battle. It's causing chaos so far... scared of whats to come. And the new one... I'm just awaiting the damage to be done she wants to do to me so badly.

I'm actually defeated. She won and is out with me 24/7. It's dangerous... Want to attack people. Can't really go out without being a danger to people.

And I don't know what the mind reading people are trying to read. Freaks us out.

Sorry...

Kahlia1981 15-02-2009 08:53 PM

Kat ~ *hugs you tightly*. Sorry I don't have any words at the moment. Just hoping and praying that you can stay safe.

Helen ~ *hugs you right back*

*hugs Dayna, Jem & anyone who wanders in*
* * * * *
Had a bad day yesterday. Kept disappearing into my room. Finally managed to cry for a bit, and got tired, but not tired enough to sleep. Decided I was a danger to myself if I stayed on my own for too much longer so went and interrupted one of my housemates. After a smoke and a little chat we went for a drive down to McCafe to "get [me] out of my head, and out of the house". We ended up going down to the pub last night and I had a couple of drinks. Felt like trying to get sh*tfaced, but we drove down there and my housemate was going for gold so I had to stay sober enough to drive home. [Also don't like getting sh*tfaced 'cause I don't like feeling out of control ...] Followed this up with a bad nights sleep and ... meh. So tired, almost out of smokes and want to cut. And it's freaking O Week ...

Damnation. 15-02-2009 09:25 PM

*Hugs everyone*

*Screams*

Kahlia1981 15-02-2009 09:26 PM

*holds Dayna while she is screaming and cuddles her when she stops*

wildly insane 16-02-2009 12:10 AM

*hugs Jem**hugs Jade**hugs Katie**hugs Alexx**hugs MaryAnne**hugs Ileana*
*hugs Julilly* you wanna talk about it?
*hugs Dayna* hey how's the new place?
*hugs Arwen* did you manage to avoid the filming?
*hugs Helen* hope you're okay, you feeling any better?
*hugs Shell* hope you had a good weekend :)
*cuddles Kahlia gently, gives cushion so the wall doesn't hurt so much*
*hugs Kat* hope you get through this, stay safe
*hugs to all entering the ward*

curls up in a ball, wishing next week didn't have to start so soon.

Kahlia1981 16-02-2009 04:59 AM

*cuddles hannah*

Snuffles 16-02-2009 10:22 AM

No net from tomorrow =(

chkymnky 16-02-2009 10:30 AM

*comes in wiv big duvet, wants so sleep and never wake up*

Mary Anne 16-02-2009 12:33 PM

Chkymnky - I want you to wake up *hugs*

Snuffles - good luck, will be thinking of you *hugs*

*leaves hugs for everyone*

Sorry I abandoned you all over the weekend, had a horrible sickness bug - being ill is rubbish :(

x

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 12:49 PM

Dayna Welcome back. How did the move go???

Wildly < big hugs back to you > thanks

Mary Anne Hope you get better soon xxx

Hugs for everyone else xxx

Having a better day today so Hopefully I can spread good vibes around. I hope everyone has a good day

Love Jade xxx

~*Rainbow*~ 16-02-2009 02:42 PM

arrrg - Why me? Why Now? Why wont people stop trying to rule and ruin my life!!!!

*grabs her teddy and cries*

I am so sick of everything - my bf mumhas just been onthe phone to me giving me agro! dont know how much more of this i can take - first it wa my mother now its his - no one wants us to be happy!!! im am so sick of it all

GrayStoke 16-02-2009 06:55 PM

Just checking in. Just for the day. Looking around and just want to watch people. That helps me. Thanks for the virtual ward. This would be my first time admitted here.

MammaMia 16-02-2009 07:19 PM

Sorry I disappeared, been trying to calm myself back down as I've been driving myself (and probably everyone else) up the damm ****ing wall about that ****ing incident. I JUST WANT TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AND FOR IT TO BE GONE.

Because nobody's going to do anythung.
I might aswell make myself move on.
But I don't know how to.
The more I try to forget, the more I think on it.
Nearly od today, not sure I can go much longer without.
:(

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 07:32 PM

Hugs and welcome to Nikki and PoeIsAliveInMe

Dear Helen xxx Im sorry that nothing is getting done and you are feeling angry and overwhelmed.

Please keep posting, dont do anything silly.
You are much thought of on here

Jade xxx

::::::::::::::::::: hugs to everyone ::::::::::::::::::::

Eclectica 16-02-2009 08:31 PM

Feeling dissociated yet again. Joy to the ****ing world.

MammaMia 16-02-2009 08:32 PM

*clings to Jade*
I'm sorry.
I just don't know what to do.
=/
Well I do...
But I'm too scared to talk to my counsellor...(well shes techically not my counsellor again yet until I have an appointment)
...but I dont know how to cope til then :S

realflifefaerie 16-02-2009 08:49 PM

Firstly sorry I haven't been around, so much has happened in the past few days and Im just not sure how to deal with it yet so I was taking a break from the world.

*hugs Helen* its hard to forget about it, maybe write bullet points if you can't talk about it to her yet?

*hugs Katrica*

*leaves hugs and sweeties for everyone else*

I shall try and check in regularly for a few days.

MammaMia 16-02-2009 09:53 PM

*hugs Secrets* Thank you hun

Damnation. 16-02-2009 10:33 PM

Stresssssssssed.

Wildly: New place is okay, thanks. A tip, but okay

Jade: The move was stressful, lol, but the worst of it is out of the way and done with now, thank ****

*Hugs all* Sorry, I don't have the patience or the concentration to make a load of individual replies today

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 10:42 PM

Hugs to you Dayna, Put your feet up and relax xxx

They say moving is one of the stressful things you can do xxx

< helps unpack > xxx

MammaMia 16-02-2009 11:15 PM

Moving is VERY VERY stressful.
I've moved 5 times already.
Mum's moved at least 10 times, if not more!!!
We were looking into moving last year, for several reasons, but that fell through, though if my Dad loses his job, we could be looking at having to move though the encomincal crsis is pretty *****.

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 11:23 PM

Wow thats a lot of moving, Helen < fingers crossed > that you wont have to move again xxx

Damnation. 16-02-2009 11:25 PM

Jade: Thanks *hugs back*

Helen: Christ alive o____o;; I never want to move again. I think I'd go completely loopy if I had to move five times D: *hugs you too*

Snuffles 16-02-2009 11:42 PM

Bye everyone =( I'll be back one day =( Take care *cuddles*

Dayne good to see you back!!! Hopefully when I get back we'll have a place =)

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 11:43 PM

Take care Snuffles xxx Miss you xxx

Damnation. 16-02-2009 11:50 PM

*Cuddles Katie* Hope to see you soon <3

How're you holding up, Jade?

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 11:54 PM

Dayna Im doing better today thank you xxx
Thanks for asking xxx

How are you doing????

Damnation. 17-02-2009 12:00 AM

Glad to hear it, and you're welcome. Between friends **** and our old landlord, I'm stressed to high hell

MammaMia 17-02-2009 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tears of Solitude (Post 1430096)
Wow thats a lot of moving, Helen < fingers crossed > that you wont have to move again xxx

It sure is a lot of moving. I will have to move again at some point *sighs*

Quote:

Originally Posted by .Poisonous.Cyanide. (Post 1430102)
Helen: Christ alive o____o;; I never want to move again. I think I'd go completely loopy if I had to move five times D: *hugs you too*

Don't blame you hun!! *cuddles* I wasn't too thrilled at having to move a sixth time last year but then we backed out anyway because of all this crap with money atm. But this is the house I've lived in longest..10 years :blink:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snuffles (Post 1430148)
Bye everyone =( I'll be back one day =( Take care *cuddles*

Missing you already Katie :'(

Damnation. 17-02-2009 12:39 AM

Helen: Eeeee, I'd hate to leave somewhere after 10 years D:

Ah crap, the dog wants a walk. Back soon

Eclectica 17-02-2009 01:01 AM

Head hurts. dissociated. vision keeps wanting to slip. they want control. urgh. sick of it. stressed. angered.

Kahlia1981 17-02-2009 01:48 AM

*leaves hugs for all*

Am just going to disappear into a corner for awhile okies ??

GrayStoke 17-02-2009 04:26 AM

Thanks for the hugs. That was neat. It did make me feel better. Even for the moment. So thanks.

Damnation. 17-02-2009 04:38 AM

Wooo.

Needs to rant, and dunno how to start myself off =D

wildly insane 17-02-2009 08:33 AM

*hugs people* Poe welcome *offers tea and cake*
*hugs Dayna* hope you get to de-stress soon
*hugs Jade* glad you're feeling a bit better I hope it keeps going that way
*finds kahlia in the corner and offers a big hug*
*hugs Kat*doesn't sound fun, no words, just hope.
*hugs Helen**hugs MaryAnne**hugs Chkymnky**hugs Nikki*
*hugs Secrets* hope you're doing okay.
*hugs Katie* good luck

am doing okay, feel like im in a bit of a nowhere place right now.

leaves a variety of assorted muffins - there are even sugar free ones but I don't think they taste as good

chkymnky 17-02-2009 10:51 AM

*leaves a hug for everyone*
thanx for the hugs guys xxx

chkymnky 17-02-2009 10:52 AM

:-D mmmmmmmmm thanx *spots the bluberry muffin*

Damnation. 17-02-2009 03:39 PM

*Hugs all*

Wildly: Chance would be a fine thing, but thanks, lol.

* * *

...I hate that I still love him. And I feel so stupid bitching about it, considering the seriousness of other **** that's been going on, blah blah. And here's me essentially going 'OMFGBOYPROBLEMS?!' like a Goddamn kid. It just...it hurts. It keeps hitting me at the most unexpected moments. Usually, anyway. The past few days again, it's been bothering me solidly. I'm so sick of hurting because of him.

Restricting contact with him doesn't help, either, because then I miss him. I got to experience that when I was offline thanks to the move. Yes, I missed everyone, but my God, I really missed him too, and what the **** for?

I'm a stupid, naive little girl, an idiot who craved love too much, and blinded herself to the very real possibility that things just might've been going wrong. I was scared to think that I might've been losing him, and so I ignored it. I knew, deep down, I knew that he didn't love me any more, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. I don't even know what it is that's made me so...wanting love. I've no idea. And I'm a whore. A pathetic, wasteful little whore. I took...pictures that he wanted, even though he knew that I was uncomfortable with it. I did that for him, just for his damned lust. So yes. No two ways about it, I'm a ****ing whore.

'I don't understand how you've done
These things to me
I can not comprehend your lack
Of loyalty

For you I would have shaken down the
Heavens from the sky
But it seems my love was stronger than
This love of yours that died

Did you think it wouldn't hurt?
Did you think I wouldn't feel
when the world came falling down?
Or maybe you didn't think at all
And that's why I feel what I feel now
Did you think I wouldn't fall?
Did you think I wouldn't cry?
Did you think I wouldn't beg
you to stay?
One of these days you're gonna realise
Just what you've thrown away
'.

The mental images of suicide are coming back, too. Overdosing, hanging. I want to SI so much. And not just cutting, either. I want to bitch and rant about the...other means, but that'd break the ****ing tipsharing rule. So I guess I'd best stfu about that.

Urges won't leave me alone again. To swallow every pill in the house. I keep wanting to cut my arm open, but I don't have the physical strength to do so. I just...I don't even know any more. I fail. I'm sick of it all. I don't even remember what else I had to say

Tears of Solitude 17-02-2009 03:41 PM

Dear Wildly xxx sorry your not in a nowhere place right now xxx

Dear Dayna I hope the dog walk did you some good xxx

Dear Helen Sorry that you will have to move again Hopefully it wont be soon xxx

Hi ya ChkyMnky Hope your doing ok

::::::::::::::::: sends hugs to everyone :::::::::::::::::::::

How is everyone doing this afternoon ????

Damnation. 17-02-2009 03:43 PM

Jade: Nah, it just made me cold, lol. Doing pretty fail here, tbh, and yourself?

Tears of Solitude 17-02-2009 03:47 PM

Oh Dayna You sound like your going through some tough times. Im here to listen.

Please fight the urges honey, no one is worth taking your life over. Please stay strong.

You have just gone through one of the most stressful times of your life < moving > give things a chance to settle back down.

Im here for you
Love Jade xxx

Damnation. 17-02-2009 03:49 PM

I'm trying, I really am x__x. And I'm just hoping that things go okay for my housemate today, too. She got a load of **** off our old landlord yesterday, the bastard actually made her cry, so I'm hoping that she doesn't have to talk to him again today.

And bleh. I don't even know if...he...realises just how much **** he's caused. He admitted that he knows that a part of my suicidal thoughts and urges as of late has been because of the crap he's done, but I dunno. I haven't felt able to speak to him about it for ages. I guess...I guess I don't really want him to know just how much I'm hurting :/

Tears of Solitude 17-02-2009 03:55 PM

Im sorry you are having trouble with your Landlord. What a bastard making your housemate cry, epecially because she is feeling delicate too.

Maybe if you told him how much he is hurting you he will stop it ??? I dont know because I dont know what he is like. Do you have a past together.

Still listening honey carry on

Damnation. 17-02-2009 03:58 PM

I know. He basically blamed her for the problems we had with the rent (she lost her job after her depression flared up again, so we didn't have enough to give to him) and basically slagged her the **** off.

And well, I dunno. He shattered my trust completely, so I can't really believe a damned word he says any more. What's done is done, nobody can go back in time and make him stop acting like such a dick, so I guess I just have to try and get over it. Bleh. I've never experienced heartbreak before, so I don't really know how to deal with it ._.

Tears of Solitude 17-02-2009 04:06 PM

Oh honey I am sorry that you are heartbroken. Time is the healer for a broken heart but I know it doesnt help you now. xxx

Have you tried writing a letter to him but not sending it, explaining how you feel. It might get all your feelings out honey xxx

Love Jade xxx

Damnation. 17-02-2009 04:09 PM

I had a biiiiiiig rant elsewhere that I didn't show him, although that was a few weeks back now. Might be time to do so again.

AndouchIjusthitmyelbow

Tears of Solitude 17-02-2009 04:13 PM

A good old rant always helps honey xxx

Damnation. 17-02-2009 04:15 PM

Yeah...I don't really know what else to say right now. My mind's just died on me, lol D:


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