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chocostashchick 24-05-2008 02:16 AM

my ryl twin i hope work is okay honey
look after yourself
i am sorry that therapy was awk with him misunderstanding what you meant
i really think it would be helpful to you/worthwhile to talk about the uncomfortable emotional stuff and explain that you meant it would be hard when his internship was over
did you tell him about the meds? if you wont take them pls pls tell him or the meds doc that you have gone off them honey
and dont drink too much wine :-P

Helen honey that isnt the answer and i know you know it
good luck on the exam
if you fail though, i am sure there are ways to still make things work. if you want to go out more, maybe this summer when exams are over you can change things and go out more often than you do now? call some ppl, make plans and stuff!

Emma how are you doing love? what's going on?

Carole honey i hope you are ok and be safe
Alexx and Amanda how are you guys?

Chloe where are youuuu? how are ya?

Jeremy how are you doing hun?

chocostashchick 24-05-2008 02:19 AM

Emma sweetie calm down
i dont know about everybody else but we notice and we care, even if we are far apart. did something happen? please, if you are really upset, which umm yeah i guess it is clear you are, call a friend or your doc or a crisis line or something but just talk to somebody and don't be alone right now.
what does canes mean? your wrist canes? is that a british word?

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 02:22 AM

*tucks a blanket around Emma* Sweetie, I wish I could fix this for you... Please stay safe luv.

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 03:42 AM

Starting on my first bottle of wine if anyone cares...

Ah, and no Callie, I didn't tell him I stopped taking my meds... And I don't see the doc for another week and a half... And probably won't tell him either *shrug*

I ****ing suck

*returns to her alcohol*

chocostashchick 24-05-2008 03:55 AM

be careful Alyssa, okies? take it easy with the wine
i know i can't make you do what you dont want to do but you really should tell them you arent on your meds anymore. esp your psychiatrist. they are there to help you and to do that to the best of their ability, to get the help you deserve, they need to know what is going on hun.
be safeeeeeeeeeee
Emma and Helen and Carole and everybody hope you are all well

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 03:59 AM

Tis ok Callie... I'm so damn pathetic I can't even make myself drink this awful **** away:crying: ****it****it****it
I just want to go to sleep and not wake up...

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 05:03 AM


Will I be able to stay safe until our next session..? Well let's see, since it's not for another 10 days... That's a long time to promise... He seemed to be keen on my going in sooner (Wednesday or Thursday) but I've got lecture during the times he has open... And I think those are his 'crises' times, why should I take one of those times up? And why do I want to go in 'early' after this afternoons awful session?

And who in the hell am I talking to, seeing as how there's no one here (damn time difference)... Don't suppose it matters one way or the other...

*curls up in her corner with her blanket and stuffed sheep and stares ahead, vacantly*

blondiebear 24-05-2008 05:11 AM

You Called daughter dear?

Ally and Alexx both, stay away from the booze if you really want to lose weight. Carbs and protien have 4 calories per gram. Fat has 9 calories per gram. Alcohol has 7 calories per gram. Gatorade has 80 calories per 8 ounce serving.

I have not yet begun to pack and we are leaving in 10 hours. The alarm goes off in 7 hours. I've been worrying about how many pairs of pants compared to shorts to pack.

Hugs all around!

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 06:02 AM

I hope your trip gets off to a good start, Mother Susan (lol sounds like a nun ;-)).

I didn't get much drank... A virtually empty stomach does not appreciate a glass of wine:pinch:

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 06:20 AM

I am still up. It is now 6.21am and I am awake having not gone to bed. I have virtually sobered up now. *hugs everyone that needs them* Wish me luck for the a+e trip ahead. xxxx

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 06:25 AM

Oh Emma *snuggles* what happened luv?

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 06:30 AM

I happened lol, hence hospital trip. Reason I have not been to bed is that my flatmates all got back from a night out and then one of them knocked on my door wanting to talk. Apparently he is struggling with not dropping out, guilt about breaking up with his girlfriend and has been tempted to restart SIing (he only did it a few times when younger) and just wanted to talk. So now it is 6.30 am and I am still up lol.

How are you hun? xxxx

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 06:36 AM

*massive hugs* I'm sorry it is such that it requires A&E hun. It was good you were able to be there for your friend but unfortunate you were unable to get any rest.

Me? *shrug* I don't know. I'd like to cut again but at the same time don't have the will... I couldn't even drink myself into a stupor (partly because my poor mostly-empty stomach didn't want alcohol)... Damn it, I'm just defeated...

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 06:43 AM

*hugs you* I am glad you didn't cut hun but please have something to eat. If nothing else then it may increase your energy levels. Could you maybe just get some sleep so you aren't stuck thinking about everything? xx

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 06:49 AM

Oh no, I cut, I just haven't done it again (since the one right after the session from hell). I have eaten a bit, still feeling gross, and am going to bed in a few minutes...

So how's the damage over there? Enough for A&E, you must have done quite a job there luv *snuggles* hope all goes well with A&E

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 06:55 AM

thanks hun, it's not too bad. It may be sterstrip-able. Going to go to sleep for a few hours and see what its like when i wake up. If I can close it nyself then won't be going to a+e *hugs* n'night hun xxx

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 07:03 AM

Sleep well dear, and I hope you can avoide A&E *hugs*


Jetforce 24-05-2008 10:33 AM


Originally Posted by chocostashchick (Post 786247)
Jeremy how are you doing hun?

I'm okies callie i think hmm...not really too certain coz i really don't know how i feel i guess. Oh well, i'll survive :-)

How is everybody else? Alexx? Emma? Helen? Callie? Ally? Hana? Anybody else i missed i'm sorry...but hope ur well there xxx

*cuddles every1*

Auburn Shadow 24-05-2008 10:42 AM

I'm not too bad this morning. Just as long as I don't think about anything, I'll be fine. I so very nearly cut last night, but instead I just beat things up.
I don't think I'm safe to cut anymore though. Once I start, I can't guarantee I'm going to stop, and the thought of that last night scared me more than anything else put together.

*hugs for everyone* How you going guys?

blondiebear 24-05-2008 02:53 PM

Hi all
*cuddles Ally and Emma and every one else who needs it.*

My husband is loading up as I type. We've misplaced my digital camera but we have his and the cord to download stuff. Philip checked and told me the weather was going to be surprisingly cool for May for the desert that we'll be crossing. So for a rare change, I'm in long pants today! I hope I can sleep as we cross the desert. The part we'll cross today is kind of bleak. Then once we cross the Colorado River we'll get off the interstate and onto Route 66. We're doing it backwards and not a lot of it but I haven't seen it in 20 years.

Tonight I'll see if I can start a travel log. I don't know about photos though.

Hugs all around. Hope everyone feels better!

MammaMia 24-05-2008 06:44 PM

I could have sworn I posted in here earlier. Must have posted elsewhere.

I won't say anything about me. I'm not doing at all good. :( Death still feels an option....

Blah, how's everyone else doing?

*hugs for Susan, Ally, Emma, Chloe, Jermery, Callie, Katch and anyone else I've missed*

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 06:58 PM

Death is not an option hun, I forbid it :P. Will be around randomly if you want to talk about it *leaves more hugs*

Ally?? Hows it going? *hugs*

Me? Well I did not manage to avoid a+e. Just got back with 13 stitches and a load of steristrips. Turns out my theory that it would probably be fine and just need a few steri strips was slightly wrong. Oops. I should probably feel bad about this but I don't. The funny thing? I now have nurses from there adding me on facebook. I know more about their lives than I do about my flatmates lol. *goes and cries in the corner with a bottle of wine*

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 07:53 PM

*emerges from her blankets in her own corner and joins Emma in hers with her own bottle of wine*
*snuggles* I'm sorry it required A&E luv... Please take care sweetie *more snuggles*
I've been in bed for over twelve hours... And the only reason I am up now is my room mate knocked on my door and said that some friends from out of town wanted to meet us in half an hour... And I desperately need a Megan hug (one of the friends)... Wouldn't say no to a Mitch hug either (the other friend and husband).
Soooo tired :crying: and didn't have time to cut either :crying:

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 07:55 PM

Ack! And Helen, death is NOT an option... We've both got to stick around luv *snuggles*

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 07:56 PM

Hope it goes alright with your friends :). It is probably a good thing that you didn't have time to cut, you don't deserve to hurt yourself (although I honestly appreciate why you may be a little upset about it and also acknowledge the hypocrisy in my statement lol). Take it easy hun and enjoy your Mitch and Megan hugs xx

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 07:57 PM

*passes Ally a virtual corkscrew* Do you have a glass? If not does anyone object to me drinking it out the bottle?

MammaMia 24-05-2008 07:58 PM

Emma, you and your forbidding of me to do things....lol remember the time you forbidded me to cut and then forbidded me to rebel and I just went ahead anyway :| Ah it makes me giggle for some reason when I should be ashamed!!!!!!! I'm sorry it needed more sitches than you thought and whatnot. *snuggles* I love you sweetheart and you mean so so so much to me :)

Ally, *snuggles* I think you should go out, you never know you might enjoy yourself...even if it's just because you're out and/or because of the hugs :)

MammaMia 24-05-2008 07:59 PM


Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 787837)
Ack! And Helen, death is NOT an option... We've both got to stick around luv *snuggles*

I want to argue this. But you're right and I want YOU to stick around (and Emma). :crying:

Detour. Derail 24-05-2008 11:03 PM

****ing up.
Sorry guys.
Letting you down.
Going to bed.

Pomegranate 24-05-2008 11:05 PM

I hope you sleep well Alexx hun *hugs* And you aren't letting us down. You have my number if you need it xx

MammaMia 24-05-2008 11:18 PM

As I said before hun, you're not letting us down. You have my number aswell if you wanna chat. Sleep well xxx

~*forever_broken*~ 24-05-2008 11:20 PM

Just got home, only been up for four hours and am SO tired I want to go take a nap! WTF?!?!

*snuggles everyone*

Have alcohol, want to drink it but don't even have the will, you know? How pathetic is that?!

Ugh, I hate myself!

MammaMia 24-05-2008 11:42 PM

*snuggles Ally*

I know how that feels hun. You're probs still really exhausted or maybe over tired? Depends on how much you've slept lately hunnie xxx

Auburn Shadow 25-05-2008 12:55 AM

What's the point me helping people if they're gonna chuck it back in my face??? Gonna go bed now, but wanted to open the question to you guys.

MammaMia 25-05-2008 01:19 AM

Maybe because you care sweetheart? *snuggles* Hope you sleep well xxx

~*forever_broken*~ 25-05-2008 01:50 AM

*snuggles Helen, Emma, and Hana*

Went out, had something resembling fun (not sure *shrug*). Now starting on the wine I couldn't drink last night (Emma, I'm a straight-out-of-the-bottle person myself ;-))... Almost finished with the first one (minus the bit I tried to drink last night) and then on to the second one then maybe one or two of the small ones I bought this afternoon. *pshhh* ****ing hate this.

MammaMia 25-05-2008 01:58 AM

*snuggles Ally*

Sounds fun :)

I'm feeling more and more into this feeling. Death really is a strong option again =[

~*forever_broken*~ 25-05-2008 02:45 AM

*snuggles Helen*
I understand hun, I really do. Just stick with me hun, ok? I'm sticking around, you stick around with me hun.

Wow... Alcohol... Fun times... Unfortunately in a few more drinks I'm gonna pass fun and hit the bottom... Much easier since I haven't taken my meds for four days...

MammaMia 25-05-2008 03:07 AM

*snuggles* I'm glad you understand. I'm trying to stick with you.

*cries* Why am I sooooo wide awake? It's like 3.08am here and I have to be up in less than 5 hours for work. I can't find my work jeans and need them. My shorts will be no good cus it's meant to be raining.

Pomegranate 25-05-2008 03:25 AM

Keep looking Hells, you will find them hun :) What going on with you? Why you feeling so bad?

Ally hun- be careful...personally I prefer something to drink the wine in. Couldn't find a glass though so now drinking it out of the mug. Two pints of snakebite, a bottle of alchopop and on second bottle of wine lol. Damn it. *sends hugs*

*hugs Auburn Shadow* not sure exactly what is going on but I apologise if it something we have done. Don't beat yourself up about what other people chose to do. Take care of yourself xxx

BoundNoMore 25-05-2008 03:40 AM

*hugs everyone and anyone who needs or wants a hug*

MammaMia 25-05-2008 03:42 AM

I'll find them in the morning no doubt. Ugh before I say this- this has not made me sucidical, I was already feeling that way. Maybe not as much then as now, but yeah. I had a huge row with someone off here. **removed part of what was said**

I am sooooooo fed up of everything. Seriously. I even can't do 3 weeks of no cutting. I fail. I am pathetic. Real pathetic. I thought I could get past these urges that have been going for days...

*Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me. Stuipd me.* :(

Pomegranate 25-05-2008 03:42 AM

**** it, going to A+E tomorrow/today again, such a screw up yet I don't even regret it. Godamnit I am ****ed up lol *goes to corner with wine and silently cries and rocks*

Pomegranate 25-05-2008 03:43 AM

I have Pm'd you Hells hun. I don't know whats gone on but I don't think the public messge board is the place to discuss it hence the PM XXXX

MammaMia 25-05-2008 03:51 AM

You're not a screw up Emma. It's okay to not regret it. I'm just sorry that it's causing you to go to somewhere you hate so much. *snuggles gently* Yeah here's not the place to dicuss it, so will keep it to our pm's :)

Love you sweetheart. You have so much strength xxx

Auburn Shadow 25-05-2008 06:04 AM

Hope you're both feeling slightly better now?? I don't think I want to care what happens to her if she's going to just throw it back in my face, I really don't. Not when I can care about what happens to other people, and it won't take nearly as much time out of my day.
Half of me wants to go ahead and give her another chance, but she's had so many already... Otherwise I wouldn't be so annoyed at her.
*sigh* I need to invest in a punchbag.

~*forever_broken*~ 25-05-2008 06:13 AM

*snuggles Helen and Emma*
Helen, you are not stupid or pathetic. Not cutting is SO hard when it is what you use to cope luv. *snuggles*

Emma, hun, I am sorry you've got to go to A&E again... Honestly though? I am also kind of jealous... I cut badly enough to need stitches I've got to do my best to close it myself... An ER visit here cost somewhere around $1000 a pop:pinch: *snuggles* Emma hun, I love you and I am so sorry you felt the need to cut so badly. You are so wonderful hun, I wish you knew that... Believed that...

*hugs everyone again then retreats to her corner with her water and a bucket...just in case*

~*forever_broken*~ 25-05-2008 06:17 AM

*hugs Hana*
Oh hun, I don't know what you're talking about but I know what you mean about a punching bag. I think I'd have a good handful fewer scars if I had one.
*snuggles* good luck sweetie, with whatever is going on.

Auburn Shadow 25-05-2008 07:11 AM

Brief story being that I've stuck my neck out for one of my "friends" more times than I care to think about this past week. She was stabbed(not serious, just on her leg but still) fairly recently and yet last night she goes and meets up with the guy that did it. And then expected me to be there to bail her out when she needs it. Just feels like everything I've done the past week just really really wasn't worth it, and I'm just wondering why I even bothered at the moment. *sigh*

*hugs* how you going, hun?

BoundNoMore 25-05-2008 07:18 AM

*hugs Auburn Shadow* sorry to hear about your struggles with your friend.

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