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-   -   Beyond repair. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248931)

chinahorse 12-03-2019 06:39 PM

I quote ' they know all about you and know you do this a lot and they're happy to see you but don't feel it's needed'

one_step_closer 12-03-2019 06:40 PM

Is there not some kind of policy that everyone who ends up at A&E for self harm etc should have a psych assessment? I know it doesn't always happen though. Will anything be passed on to the CMHT?

Edit: Ninja post. That's quite judgemental of them. I have experienced things like that too. It hurts.

chinahorse 12-03-2019 06:41 PM

I seem to be able to by pass it.

They will let the cmht know I think.

one_step_closer 12-03-2019 06:43 PM

Would you ever say that you would like to see psych since they are happy to see you, because you feel that it's needed?

chinahorse 12-03-2019 06:49 PM

No. They insist on seeing me if it was necessary.

one_step_closer 12-03-2019 06:53 PM

That's their opinion though. Without talking to you they would think it's 'just like every other time' but someone needs to really listen to what is going on for you to see that you need something more right now.

chinahorse 12-03-2019 06:55 PM

Thank you but I don't deserve more.

one_step_closer 12-03-2019 06:56 PM

You 100% do, but I can see why you'd feel that way towards yourself and it doesn't help that other people are doing things that increase your belief.

chinahorse 13-03-2019 08:31 PM

Am not ok. The cpn today said she doesn't think I'll be offered theray outside of 9-5. Even though therapy boss said I might be.

I don't want to work with this cpn. I don't like her. She makes me feel bad. I don't know what triggered my self harm other than stress.

Am having intrusive suicidal thoughts. Am feeling crap. And even more crap that I don't know exactly why.

Sorry this is ranting.

Juella 14-03-2019 07:58 AM

It's understandable that you're upset. Hopefully, something can be done about therapy. I understand being worried after being told you wouldn't get it, but I although think therapy boss might know better than your cpn, so let's not lose hope.

Sorry about your CPN. It sucks being stuck with a professional that makes you feel worse rather than better. What exactly does your CPN do that makes you feel bad? Does she make you more stressed?

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. With so much to handle and so little support, things must be really tough on you. I hope today treats you kindly, and will be a better day.

chinahorse 18-03-2019 05:47 PM

My cpn is just not understanding she makes me feel not listened to but I think its because I don't like her.

My leg is infected and my grandad is in hospital as he's had a heart attack and needs surgery.

I fell so awful. People aren't being understandin.

one_step_closer 18-03-2019 06:14 PM

I'm sorry you feel like people aren't understanding how things are for you. Are you talking to your family about how you feel about your Grandad at least? I hope the surgery goes well and you can have that bit of weight off your mind. Is there anyone at the CMHT you do get on with? I know what it's like feeling unheard, especially by your CPN when they provide the main support. Do you know what it is about her that you don't like/makes you feel not listened to? Would you ever let her know how you feel about the way she responds? Will you be able to get your leg looked at? Sorry for all the questions.

chinahorse 18-03-2019 06:39 PM

I only trust my psychaitrist now. Everyone else has let me down enormously. Again and again they let me down.

I just went to the Dr's and they don't have any appointments tomorrow or Wednesday so it's a sign to ignore it.

Managing to speak to family only to ask for updates.

chinahorse 18-03-2019 06:39 PM

I don't feel safe.

one_step_closer 18-03-2019 06:51 PM

What kind of unsafe? Do you need to let someone know?

I'm sorry people keep letting you down, do you know when you're next due to see your psychiatrist?

I don't think you should ignore the infection, would a pharmacist be able to offer some advice?

chinahorse 18-03-2019 07:00 PM

Like I'm stressed and I don't know how to cope and I want to self harm.

May I think.

Nothing they can do. I need antibiotics. But I got told to call up in the morning of its REALLY bad. It's not really bad. So I can't call.

one_step_closer 20-03-2019 02:00 PM

How are things Lillie?

chinahorse 20-03-2019 05:54 PM

Thanks for asking :)

Good and bad. Grandad is nearly out of hospital. But I have to wait until autumn for therapy. Told my new cpn I didn't like her and don't want to see her again today. Leg is infected and work is being an arse about me taking time off to get it looked at now I've realised its not gpi g away.

Im very down and very tired and very much want to cut again and just not go to work ever. The place saps the life out of me.

I'm exhausted of fighting.

Stellata 20-03-2019 06:42 PM

Do you have a care coordinator who can help navigate the CPN problem?

I hear how tired you are, how much you need rest. That's a long time to wait for therapy, but you can get through.

chinahorse 20-03-2019 06:52 PM

No. CC is technically the old cpn who left me withput telling me.

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