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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 12-04-2010 12:43 AM

Thanks April, hope you do talk to your SW tomorrow if you can. Sorry the novelty has worn off a bit. :( You're not an epic fail of a wife. *holds you tight* Nothing to be proud of. I'm glad you don't know what it's like, it's awful. I sorta wish I didn't but never mind. I want to punish myself. I have to. :'( But never mind. Will keep on being safe I'm sure.

Wooopie do, I'm sure my lowness has hit again, just had a wee break. Can't ****ing wait to suffer in it. Woo *rolls eyes and nearly cries*

**** it all.

Kahlia1981 12-04-2010 03:19 AM

*huggles everyone tenderly*

I'm sorry everyone is struggling so much. I wish I could do something to make us all feel better.

Helen - you just made me think of something from Robin Williams Live stand-up. He was talking about a drug that could fix everything called "****itall". It made me think of a "magic cure". Wouldn't that be nice?

*huggles everyone again*

jonikd 12-04-2010 09:25 AM

*spots some movement near the ward* Hey Kahlia, how you doing hun? Love the "****itall" made me smile :D

Helen, honey, I don't have huge amounts of advice for you on this one, the closest I have is friends who have miscarried and all I could do for them was hug them and cry with them. *hugs and cries with Helen* Time does heal though hun, you are still young and my friends are old *apologises to friends* Anniversaries are always tough, so stay with us sweetie, you are grieving and each day that you do get through will feel a little better 'k? xx

*looks around for April and Laura and wonders how they are now*

*hugs the boys* hope you're going a bit better Mark, and I still haven't caught up with you Oliver!

Deidre hope you're feeling better hun, grief does take time though, so be patient alright.

*cuddles Nicole and sits with her a while* hoping your positivity will come to me through osmosis

*hugs any new wardmates who may happen to pass through*

*sits and plans to stay in the ward for a wee while tonight*

Doikers 12-04-2010 09:56 AM

I am sorry so many of us are struggling *Enormous hugs for you all*

There have been days when I was supposed to die too ,4 times at least , it's a little fuzzy , I don't remember the dates though , sometimes I wish I had succeded sometimes I'm glad I didn't .

And
Happy one and a half years wedding anniversary April !! :)

Scarletdreamer 12-04-2010 11:03 AM

Why thank you, Mark!! *cuddles* (oh and I spy you!! :D) How are you doing today? I'm also glad that you didn't die when you attempted (or planned to)... if you did die now I would miss you so much. :( But, that's getting morbid 'cause I'm not gonna let you die now. Hehe. Aaanyway... have you been playing Runescape much lately? what's it like? (never played it - Jarrod says it's not much like WoW)

Hels, how are you doing now, love? And if it helps any, I'm struggling with delayed grieving now... won't go into details now as it's the beginning of the day and I don't want to get too low, am already feeling sad and shitty. :( But as JK said, time heals... you'll get through this.*holds you & rocks gently*

JK, how're you? *hugs*

Kahlia, I've heard that "****itall" thing before... but it still made me smile. :P There should be a magic cure... but sadly, no go... :( How are you doing today/tonight? *squishes gently*

My bestie finally texted me... at 6am today... apologizing for yesterday like it was no biggie. :crying:

I'm just a mess. :(

jonikd 12-04-2010 11:30 AM

*jumps for joy on finding April* glad your friend texted, yeah I get all weird when my friends don't reply, might well be part of depression and the like huh.

I just put a picture of myself up on
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...79#post2235779 , if anyone's interested in who I am. *hides and shakes a little*

Probably I will take it off again tomorrow, but just wanted to introduce myself to you lot.

I'm a bit fragile, but off to bed very soon, all tucked up and drugged up and safe from harm today. One day at a time for us all, we're all survivors in here, I too could have succeeded in any one of my ? attempts all those years ago, and tbh I would have missed a hell of a lot of fun stuff.

*leaves hugs for all and wanders off in her PJs*

Kahlia1981 12-04-2010 11:41 AM

*huggles everyone*

Re the "****itall" drug. The segment is hilarious the way he does it. "Your life is crap? ****itall." etc. His standup is very funny but definitely not for kids.

I am ... surviving. Having major issues with su and si urges and anxiety. Having to leave rooms etc at times to allow myself to gain control. I'll be okay, just not quite sure what is going on. Guess I'll have to wait and see.

*big hugs for everybody*

Scarletdreamer 12-04-2010 12:19 PM

JK, you're very pretty. :) I love the setting for the picture. Sleep well... sweet dreams, be as snug as a bug in a rug (lol)... and talk with you, well, later today. Hehe. And I'm glad that you didn't succeed in your attempts either. *hugs*

Kahlia *cuddles* I'm sorry that you're struggling so at the moment... but it will pass, as you said... it just takes time. :( I wish I could help more... I'm here if you need to talk and I can offer a cat to snuggle. Hehe. *more cuddles*

I'm off to my SW appt in a bit... am not really looking forward to it, feel like such a failure in therapy because I can't get my words out right. I don't understand why people call me "brilliant" (my advisor) or "very intelligent" (my parents and friends) when I can't make forward progress in therapy, and feel stuck all of the time, etc., etc., etc. :crying: I don't know what to do, I honestly don't...

I need to update my r/v thread but I don't have the time now... probably will around 9am though.

*cuddles all* ♥

Kahlia1981 12-04-2010 01:24 PM

*cuddles everyone*

April: *big hugs* I hope things go okay with your SW appointment. Talking about what's going on in our lives can be far from easy. I always struggle with it. Feelings and thoughts can be hard to express, especially when your mood isn't playing ball. Just take it easy on yourself.

*huggles everyone else lots*

MammaMia 12-04-2010 01:24 PM

Lots of posts but will attempt to reply to them all. But definitely cuddles all round. I wish I could make us all feel better too :( We have each other, even when we can't support, we still have each other right? :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 2235542)
Helen - you just made me think of something from Robin Williams Live stand-up. He was talking about a drug that could fix everything called "****itall". It made me think of a "magic cure". Wouldn't that be nice?

I've heard of that I think. It would be very very nice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jonikd (Post 2235681)
Helen, honey, I don't have huge amounts of advice for you on this one, the closest I have is friends who have miscarried and all I could do for them was hug them and cry with them. *hugs and cries with Helen* Time does heal though hun, you are still young and my friends are old *apologises to friends* Anniversaries are always tough, so stay with us sweetie, you are grieving and each day that you do get through will feel a little better 'k? xx

I know time heals, even if me (and my closest best friend) hate that phrase so much!! Impatient ;) But thank you, seriously. It is tough. There's four days that are the worst, the -rword- that made her happen (that day/anniversary is traumatic in itself), anniversary of when she died, what would have been her birthday & Christmas... Never seems to feel any better, but I'm sure you're right. I don't feel like I've ever properly cried about it. Perhaps on one occasion last year when I was really going for it & about lots. Obviously I've had a few tears since then, but nothing much. Maybe I shouldn't? I know some of my real life friends, well definitely one, belvies that I shouldn't have decided what sex & name. As "it's made it harder for you to forget about it". Well...I don't want to forget about 'it'. She may not be here, but she's still MY baby, MY daughter, a HUMAN BEING!!! Yes, she didn't do all her growing, yes she didn't ever get born, but she's still a person to me :'( Sorry..P.S. I love your picture, you're so pretty <3

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2235765)
Hels, how are you doing now, love? And if it helps any, I'm struggling with delayed grieving now... won't go into details now as it's the beginning of the day and I don't want to get too low, am already feeling sad and shitty. :( But as JK said, time heals... you'll get through this.*holds you & rocks gently*

*clings* Sorry. I'm not doing so well today. Yet I have a sudden burst of :D :D :D I'm bit scared lol. Had another nightmare this morning, thankfully I can't really remember anything :) Sorry you're not doing so well but glad your best friend texted. That's good right?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 2235798)
I am ... surviving. Having major issues with su and si urges and anxiety. Having to leave rooms etc at times to allow myself to gain control. I'll be okay, just not quite sure what is going on. Guess I'll have to wait and see.

I'm glad you're surviving, but I'm sorry you're struggling sweetheart. We're all here for you *snuggles*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2235844)
I'm off to my SW appt in a bit... am not really looking forward to it, feel like such a failure in therapy because I can't get my words out right. I don't understand why people call me "brilliant" (my advisor) or "very intelligent" (my parents and friends) when I can't make forward progress in therapy, and feel stuck all of the time, etc., etc., etc. :crying: I don't know what to do, I honestly don't...

I hope it goes well. I can understand not looking forward to it. I remember dreading several counselling appointments (ok, not same thing but still). You're not a failure. All sorts of people struggle to get words out/talk and stuff. It can be so hard & daunting sometimes. I remember one session, I had to talk about thatrword and couldn't talk and struggled when I could. But you ARE intelligent, brilliant etc. You're a really good friend of mine. Hate anything to happen to you April :(

MammaMia 12-04-2010 01:25 PM

Kahlia, we were writing at the same time, big cuddles.

nicole94 12-04-2010 01:46 PM

hey everyone *hugs*

helen-how you feeling today hun?

JK-*handes a basket full of positive energy*-there you go lol

MammaMia 12-04-2010 01:56 PM

Breathless. Hopefully it'll pass soon :S

You? *cuddles*

nicole94 12-04-2010 02:01 PM

*hugs* aaw. why you feeling breathless hun? im good, bit nervous cause i've got DBT today and i hate it, but i'll be fine lol

MammaMia 12-04-2010 02:12 PM

I don't know. I'm not surprised you're nervous. Hope it goes well. What time is it at? :)

nicole94 12-04-2010 02:13 PM

oh ok lol. it's at 3.30. not looking forward to it :/

Scarletdreamer 12-04-2010 02:23 PM

I spy a Helen!! *pounces* Hehe... *holds and rocks some more* You'll be okay, sorry to hear that you're not feeling the best right now though. Is the breathlessness gone yet??

*hugs Nicole* Best of luck with the DBT, I've heard that it can be difficult so I don't blame you for being nervous about it. But I'm sure it will go fine. :)

I just got back from breakfast, and then going & buying stuff from the uni bookstore. Got some books by an author that I really like (Linda Hogan), whom I just discovered, and a "sweatshirt blanket" (made out of sweatshirt material) with my uni's logo on it. Woohoo... :) Spent too much but oh well... :-X

Feeling shitty but was really open with my SW. She's pretty much a counselor, so Hels, it wouldn't really be that much different from your nervousness about your counseling appts. I can't believe how open I was actually, it surprised me. :-/ I don't know if that's good or not...

*hides*

nicole94 12-04-2010 02:29 PM

*finds april and hugs her* thanks for the good luck :D sorry you're feeling shitty, but well done for being open with your SW

nicole94 12-04-2010 02:42 PM

urgh. sorry to ruin my bout of positivity, but my good mood just dissapeared :( my friends just been rushed to hospital with a burst appendix.........

Scarletdreamer 12-04-2010 02:52 PM

*holds Nicole and rubs her back, if that's okay?* I'll be keeping your friend in my prayers and thoughts today... hope s/he will be okay. Try and stay positive though... because things are rarely as bad as they seem. I'm so sorry about your friend though... that has got to be very scary. :(

I'm doing okay... triggered though... I have to keep a food log and I'm scared about that, scared that the prof might think I eat too little or too much and judge me because of that. :( I mean, I could always lie, but... :crying: I HATE THIS...

But only 3 weeks of school left. :D That's a happy...

*hides again*


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