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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Imaginary_friend 07-02-2010 04:59 PM

*cuddles Helen* you alrite chick?

*hugs Ayla* thanks :) yea maybe that is why i'm hurting myself but....i dunno. like i said in an earlier post, i do occasionally feel everything all at once and it's really scary. it's like i can't separate out my feelings...i have to feel everything all at once. i don't wanna let myself feel all that while i'm by myself because i'll end up doing something stupid or hurting someone else....i dunno. guess i need to talk to my counsellor about it tomorrow. i wish someone could help me *cries*

nologola 07-02-2010 05:06 PM

Oh Laura you poor thing. I understand feeling that way - it becomes impossible to separate the feelings out, know where they came from etc etc. It really can be scary. Sounds like talking to your counsellor about it would be a good idea. Do you have a good relationship (it's taking me a while to get up to speed with everyone)? Just take the rest of today bit by bit. *hands Laura some tissues and puts the kettle on*

Imaginary_friend 07-02-2010 05:11 PM

thanks :) *takes the tissues and cries some more* i've only just started going back to counselling...like, last week was my first session! i think she thinks i'm a bit stupid tbh but i don't know who else to go to...it doesn't feel like the kind of thing i could go to the doctors about. i don't know. i just want to be somewhere safe where if i go mental i'm not gonna hurt anyone. or me. i just don't know what to do anymore *hides in a corner*

nologola 07-02-2010 06:54 PM

Laura - I'm sure your counsellor doesn't think you're stupid, it just takes time to build up that trust you need to feel safe in that environment. I've always had trouble with counselling but I think if you can make it work it can be a really good place to get it all out of your system. Keep your chin up sweetie, I'm around for the rest of the day so feel free to PM me as well.

*Sits close to the corner where Laura is hiding, just in case she needs more tissues and cuddles*

Imaginary_friend 07-02-2010 07:07 PM

:) thankies. i'm hoping she'll be able to help...otherwise i am actually gonna go insane. i dunno what i'm gonna do....:(

Kahlia1981 07-02-2010 07:20 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Can this depressed mood, suicidal ideation and urge to self harm stop now please?

*disappears into the dark to cry*

MammaMia 07-02-2010 07:59 PM

Make this pain stop.
Make these tears stop flowing.
Make it go away :'(
I want to harm in so many ways.
I'm trying to keep my promise though.

*curls up*

nologola 07-02-2010 08:17 PM

*Puts a blanket over MammaMia so she doesn't get cold* (sorry I haven't picked up your name yet).
*Pushes a box of tissues into the darkness towards Kahlia just in case she needs them*.
*Lies down and pretends that if she stays there long enough she'll fall asleep eventually*.

Scarletdreamer 07-02-2010 09:28 PM

Urgh, sorry didn't respond all day, have been pretty busy!!

*cuddles for all* Sorry also, am not in a good place for responses atm. Really anxious & stressed... feel like **** for no good reason & want to die. Can't talk to my NP or therapist about it though as they want me to go into the hospital if I keep feeling this way... :(

Busy day, yes. Went to my parents' in the morning & my mum helped me get some uni stuff done (yus, once again skipping church for uni work :( that makes me sad but I can't really help it... or can I? am I just a stupid slacker? :crying:) - resume & cover letter are complete!! Woohoo. So that's good. Ate too much at lunch, wanted to purge.

Came home, got stuff for laundry, went & did laundry, came back home, & here we are. Hopefully won't be going anywhere else tonight.

*hides in dark corner*

MammaMia 07-02-2010 09:51 PM

*cuddles all*

April, please look after yourself love, don't want anything bad to happen to you :'(

Kahlia1981 07-02-2010 10:07 PM

*hugs everyone*

I don't know if anyone reads my support thread, or even cares, but I used it last night to start making note of my research into the appalling treatment of psychiatric patients in my home town of Townsville, Qld, Australia. Of course, Townsville wasn't the only city or town to have massive atrocities committed in the name of psychiatric help but what sickens me the most is the fact that the leopard has not changed his spots. The system is tainted right from the top, and the hostile defensive attitude of the Director of Mental Health is detrimental to the health of the patients.

Sorry, I'm sure you didn't need to read all (or possibly any) of that. If you are interested in the start of what will be an article feel free to read my support thread.

*sneaks into the denial tent for a break*

Imaginary_friend 07-02-2010 10:51 PM

i know i use the words 'I' and 'can't' a lot at the moment and i don't want to feel like this. but i can't do this anymore. i don't want to. i don't want to be here. i don't want to exist. i want to drink a lot, smoke and hurt myself. i want to self destruct and i'm sick of feeling this way. i've got noone to talk to here, unless i want to make some stressed people more stressed and i really just need a cuddle :'(

Scarletdreamer 07-02-2010 11:28 PM

*cuddles Kahlia & LauraFriend*

Kahlia, I'll check it out. :) Sounds like you're putting forth quite a bit of effort for a VERY good cause!! Bravo.

LauraFriend, I understand... I feel the same way. I just want to self destruct and it's like... I can't. And I can't talk to people about how I feel because then they'll worry even more. I am so sick of life. But anyway, I understand at least a little what you feel like. *more cuddles*

Helen *cuddles* How are you, sweetie?

Imaginary_friend 07-02-2010 11:35 PM

i'm tempted to go for a walk and see what happens.....its like...11.30pm. argh. why do i feel like this? i'm just......**** knows.

MammaMia 07-02-2010 11:41 PM

*cuddles everyoen*

I think I've gone numb :S

Scarletdreamer 08-02-2010 12:20 AM

I feel numb too, kind of. :( *cuddles Helen & LauraFriend* Be careful, please, Laura... don't do anything too risky, despite how much you want to do it.

I'm still suicidal... damn it... can't tell my parents as they would flip and I can't have that. Jarrod (husband) knows but can't really do anything... I see my therapist tomorrow & she told me to go to the ER last time I told her (in a text, so she couldn't really evaluate how I was doing). Gahhh. I feel so trapped. :crying:

*hides away for a long time*

Imaginary_friend 08-02-2010 12:24 AM

*hugs April* maybe ER is a good idea...i dunno. i've never been. as long as you're not by yourself :) *hugs*

I'm not going out. I can't be bothered. I've got counselling in the morning too....not that I think she'll be any help at all. I'd be surprised if she doesn't get me sectioned tbh. i kind of want her to do something but i don't think she will....urgh. i don't even know anymore. mind****.

PoisonedApple 08-02-2010 01:06 AM

i suck at life... i can't even rant right... *hides in denial tent*

Kahlia1981 08-02-2010 01:10 AM

*cuddles everyone*

I feel so tired and drained .... and so sick of crying. So damn over it all.

MammaMia 08-02-2010 01:17 AM

*cuddles everyone*

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