Hey guys. I just got back from counselling...
please dont let me go anymore :pinch:
Im now curled up in the corner of my kitchen...and i have to go back to college in a bit...
i cant do it :/
I want to go back to bed :/

*hugs Ally*
How are you feeling sweetheart?

*hugs Alexx*
aw honey i'm sorry about that
come sit in the Denial Tent and pretend it never happened!!

*squishes Alyssa*
umm NO STITCHING YOURSELF silly twin
go to health center and you can take care of two birds with one stone?
yesh Emma is right, just remember you are actually in the Denial Tent hiding in the Virtual Camp

Chloe and Jeremy i hope you had a nice safe sleeping in the camp :)

Helen and Emma and Alyssa, go forth and be students
and i will make you coffee and tea and smores and more roasted chestnuts on the campfire whilst you are in classes and whilst i waste away at this temp job

*snickers*
i'm being a naughty secretary today teehee i have fishnets and pleated skirt and pumps and everything muahaha
okay just wanted to share that

*goes to poke the campfire and put marshmallows on sticks*

Does anyone want hot chocolate?
I have enough to share...

I also have lots of hugs going spare...
if anyone wants one of those...
I cant go out today...
but my teacher will kill me if i miss another lesson :/
oh no
someone hide me?

*shares hot chocolate with Alexx*
*squishes you*
aww honey come on in and hide in the Denial Tent
that way your professor can't hurt you
and if they try you are protected by the Denial Tent's magical non-triggery safety mosquito net!!!
and we are all here to shout words of encouragement and give you lots of hot chocolate and treats while you are there
and when you come back to post you can tell us about it

aww Emma honey i forgot to ask how was last night? is everything okay now?

*hugs Alexx*
Aw hunni, I'm sorry you didn't have a good session (well, at least it sounds that way), and that you don't want to go to lecture... Totally understand... *hugs*

Callie, sounds like a cute outfit :-)
As to the cut, I think I may just leave it butterflyed... I'm pretty good at that and I really don't want to have to deal with those people again...
*sigh*
Take care all

aww thanks
i've decided that when i am in the real world and not Denial Tent tis much easier to put a costume on and pretend to be somebody else

*pokes Alyssa* be careful though - they could at least look at it? don't want a worse scar than you need

*cleans up around campsite and puts new blankets and pillows in Denial Tent for everybody*
*snatches a blanket and hides under it for the duration*
*smores and tea and hot chocolate are by the campfire for whoever wants it*

Hey guys...im back ><
I couldnt do it...
i couldnt go in :crying:
it was horrible..
*hides in the corner under a pile of blankets*

*Gives you a big mug of hot chocolate and a masssive cuddle*

I walked out of college too...:pinch:

*hugs you Alexx* Don't beat yourself up too badly hun. Can you make another appointment?

*Winks at Callie*- naughty secretary sounds fun :P :)

As for the infected cut- I cleaned it, put an iodine dressing thing on it and wound with gauze. I have to go to health center tomorrow anyway so will get it checked out then.

Ally- I know you don't want to go but be careful eh? *hugs* xx

*mega-snuggles Alexx and Helen from underneath the giant blanket am hiding under*
welcome back
tis okay, you are safe in the Denial Tent. come hide in here and it is like it never happened :)

*offers you hot chocolate being kept warm by campfire, and popcorn and smores and muffins*

*waves to miss Emma*
glad you are okay today - keep safe till tomorrow :)

*sits in one of the many corners that there are*
Failed a maths exam, I know it. Didn't answer enough questions to pass. Why do I even bother... urg.

*hugs to everyone*

*passes Claire a blanket to hide under*
sorry hunny
stupid maths.... maths should be banned

*hugs claire tightly*

*hugs Emma too* thankyou. I have another conselling session next tuesday....but my teacher is gonna freak out at me for not going in today...

*hugs for everyone*
Look..my doggie followed me into the tent :]
She's very squishy....and small and cute ^_^
and she's really warm hehe

Thank you Alex. *hugggggs*

*mega snuggles you and hides in our giant blanket. I'm feeling so **** and gonna regret it tomorrow for not going.....

*hugs* you might have done better than you think...

*peeks out from under blanket*
YAAAAY a doggie in the Denial Tent!!
lucky Alexx i want a doggie

sorry about your teacher
your health is more important and it's really none of your teacher's business, is it? shouldn't they be a little more compassionate?
hey maybe at your appt next tuesday, the psych could write a note for your school? good luck hun

thx Helen
do not feel guilty for mental health days! if that is what you need, then do whatever it takes! do you have friends in the class you can borrow notes from?

*slides one of the lapdesks under the giant blanket in case you have work to get done now*

Hello all again

*waves*
*lots of warm hugs and snuggles to everyone*

have screwed up my assignment
have screwed up
started DBT today

*hides under giant blanket*
x x

How did the DBT go hun? Assignments suck- we should start a movement to ban them!

*snuggles doggie and offers cuddles and snuggles (see me rhyme there?) for everyone that needs them* xx

welcome back Emm!
we have Alexx's doggie under the giant blanket with us! tis loverly
way to go starting DBT!
*is proud for you*

*sigh*
I'm just not sure I can bring myself to have my cut looked at. I need to make a meds appointment... And I'm going into the counseling center later this morning... I am just too tired to deal with them I think :crying:

*hugs to everyone, please excuse me if I just whine and don't address what's going on with y'all... Got NO sleep last night*

I don't have any work to do anyway, well...no homework needs doing :-) I know what we're doing in my evil lesson and then the second lesson...I can ask my group what's going down. I hope we didn't agree to have our meeting on tuesday :notsure:

*snuggles you muchly*

I need plenty of snuggles :crying:

I'm soooo tempted to do it one way but I can't bring myself to do it as I know my sister is stopping with us....yet theres two other ways...one I'm complentating....and the other means running away =[

GOD I'm a mess today :crying:

Yes we do^_^
and my doggies very lovely...
She lets me snuggle her
and comes and licks me to death til i start laughing when Im sad and crying.
and she's very friendly ^_^
*hugs and hot drinks for everyone*

Helen. stop. breathe. It's ok. You don't have to hurt yourself or anything like that. You are strong and can manage without that- I have faith in you :)

Focus on the nice things like the fact you have no homework and your sister being there, and smores in the RYL denial tent. xx

Please dont run away :crying:
We would miss you too much!!!

stay and talk to us?
It might help...

*massive snuggles*

*hugs you* Could you get someone to look at it at the counseling center? You don't have to apologise for anything sweetie and feel free to whine :)

I AGREE!!!

You can do this hun
xxx

*MASSIVE HUGS*

Thanks Em. I wish I felt it was ok :confused: I know I don't have to hurt myself....but I want it sooooo much and at same time I don't.

*snuggles* :crying:

I don't think I can =[

Thanks all.
Made an appointment to get the cut stitched :pinch: will let y'all know how it goes (not thinking it'll go too well). It's after my counseling session... I suppose if I tell him about it I can tell the doc that he and I already discussed it and he won't flip out on me too much...

Stay strong sweety.
I know its hard but we are here with you every step of the way.
You might feel like you need this or want it but you dont.
Honestly.
Just hang on in there.
*Super Hugs*
*brings over the doggie to cheer Helen up too*

sounds like a good idea.
maybe talking to your counsellor about it might help make it a little bit easier too?
It'll be ok hun *hugs*
Keep us posted
xx

Thanks Alex. I know I have to stay strong, but I really don't have any strength left, it all vanished months ago. So god knows how I've been getting through the days, weeks, months....It's too freaking hard. I want do everything bad so much and same time....I dont wanna ruin it. :crying: *super hugs* *plays with your dog* Cn Charlie (my sister's dog) join us too, he may be defenceless (on account of having a paw missing) but he's very great and playful :) I wish I could cry and cut and everything so much right now.

You must have a little bit left sweetheart...thats how you've managed to get through when you thought you had nothing.
You're doing a wonderful job and we are all SOOOO proud of you. You just have to fight this. I know its hard, honestly I do and I understand how you're feeling right now, but we will always be here to support you and if you ever want to PM me, dont hesitate.
No one said it would be easier but you really are doing an amazing job and if I or anyone else can help you through this bad time then we will ok?
Of course Charlie can come play sweety ^_^
the more the merrier hehe.
We should sit here...with Charlie and Millie (my doggie) and we will cuddle up in these nice warm blankets with a hot drink and we'll have a good cry about things that are upsetting, then...we should remember good things that have happened, and hopefully that will help you smile again yeah? :]
Chin up gorgeous.
xxxxxxxx

Thank you Alex, that made me well up so much hehe. Yeah maybe I do have a tiny wincy bit left. I don't feel like I'm doing a wonderful job and I don't know why everyone is SOOOO proud of me, I don't deserve to have people being proud of me, espically skopping college when I could have gone in...even if I just struggled through the day. I know I have to fight these feelings off, I just do & don't want to. It's so exhausting, trying to control these feelings every day....and control my life overall every day aswell.

I know you guys will always be there, hence the loads of posting rather than withdrawing from you guys. I don't feel like I'm doing an azming job at all, I just keep staring at one thing to self harm with :| You guys are helping me, seriously.

Yay Charlie has come to play, bet he just plays with Milly and then snuggles down again, he misses his mummy :-(

We should sit here with the dogs indeed, have cuddles (I give sooooo many hugs cus I love 'em). Blankets are awesome with hot drinks and crys and talks....and god I wish you guys were by my side, but least we have virtualness {sp}.....

*cheers madly for Alyssa from under blanket in Denial Tent*
way to go hunny! sounds like a lovely plan and remember you dont have to talk about anything until you are ready

*passes Helen smores and treats that posess magical courage and strength powers from the healing smoke from the Virtual Campfire*
just take a deep breath and be calm and remember that you can do anything in the Denial Tent!

*hugs Emm and Emma and Alex*
plays with Charlie and Millie

starts to have a panic attack because a restricted phone number just rang my cell and i think it might be the psych hosp
eep ogod ogod this is scary i bet they are telling me nobody accepts my insurance or wants me at their practice eep

i totally imbued the denial tent with magical powers where are the magical powers i need to start feeling some magicalness now please

Thank you so much *squishes*

I need to stop feeling guilty about missing college don't I? :pinch:

We are proud of you because you've come this far, and thats an achievement all in its self.
Its good you have a little bit of strength left...only if its a tinny little bit...because you can nuture it and make it grow...then you'll have more strength :]
Dont beat yourself up about skipping college....i did exactly the same today...and i lied to my mum about why i was home early...but if I look at it in a good way....at least now I'm here and can help you..
is there anything good you can think of? even if it seems really abstract or silly? Maybe...its good that you missed college because you could have some time to yourself or talk to us?
I dont know...thats for you to tell me :]
Maybe...you should try moving this thing you want to SH with...and putting it in a box with a photo of someone you really care about...
that way..its out of sight..and if you look for it..you'll see the photo and can try focus on happy memories with that person....its just a suggestion..ive found it helps me.

I love hugs and blankets and hot drinks too ^_^
And I think....we should salute who ever made the internet and RYL *salutes them*
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Just try take deep breaths and calm down....I'm sure it wil be fine hun. *big hugs* try stay positive...i know its hard and clichéd but it will help

*opens a little bottle of fairy dust and magic.*
*gives you some*

*hides in the Psych ward*

heyy.
Dont hide.
Come sit with us and have a drink.
*offers a hot drink*

I guess I have come a long way in last couple of years :) And it's been a long rocky road, but I'm still pushing myself through it and sometimes the lights in my life rise again....

I am beating myself up though about skipping college even though I shouldn't. I just don't know how to explain tomorrow why I didn't come without them knowing I'm suidicial, they'll just react most likely in a way I don't want....(if they found out how I feel). I look it as a good way, got to talk to you ^_^ Also college have this werid thing where they look at your attendence in like a block of 3 weeks. Well for this month (if they do it from 3rd march to next tuesday) then they're gonna wanna know my attendence is so low. Cus I had 3rd march booked off for a holiday, then then last wednesday and today....and yeah =[ Its good I missed college, gives me time to think...and talk to you...and yeah.

I cant put that thing into a box lol, my mum will need it later....

Thanks for the suggestion though :)

Well we can salut Harley for making RYL :]

aha...in that case dont put it in a box :p but stay strong.
youve just proved to yourself how far you've come and THAT is why you should be proud of yourself :]
Thats a real achievement and i admire you for it :-)
As for your friends and people at college...if you dont want to tell them then its really non of their business...
you could tell them you felt sick or had a family situation?
Does anyone at college know how you are feeling?

*salutes Harley*
Take care hun
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

*salutes Harley from under blanket in Denial Tent*
welcome Emo Fairy - you can hide out in the Virtual Campsite. we have a magic Denial Tent where you can hide from your problems in safety. there are even doggies.
yay

back when i actually moved and accomplished things i made smores and roasted chestnuts

*goes back under blanket*

none of the docs at the hosp accept my insurance and they cant do anything
*sniff*
am running out of ideas
ppl keep referring me and nobody takes my insurance
have run out of people to call

hope you are all okay
dont feel guilty for missing classes and taking care of yourself. you are all more important than classes. what good would you be at class anyway if you didnt feel good?

*attempts squishy blankety hugs*
*tries not to vomit because is so anxious and frustrated*

I forgot to take my meds for a couple days now my heads all racey and I'm all jittery and have the urge to throw things at people. Or Break Down Crying :| Note to self when sick with the flu remember meds no matter how high your fever is...

Well this might be my last post. EVER.

I love you :)

I'm so so so selfish x

hi kit
come into the denial tent it's lovely and magical and makes everybody feel better and there is an endless supply of meds and lovely things even though in the real world it's all utter crap and nobody actually gets what they need and ask for
the end

Helen what is going on sweetheart? Why do you feel so bad? Please don't do anything to hurt yourself xx

Moves in to the tent with her computer and Care Bear and the two seasons of Csi Miami she just bought.

*snaps out of her sleep-deprived haze at Helens words*
Sweetie,what's going on? Please, please, PLEASE be careful hun.

Much love and warm cuddles...

Kit, welcome, nice to have you. *offers a tray with tea, coffee, cocoa, and biscuits*