Im really sorry I cant support atm.
Im so sorry.
*leaves hugs*

*hugs Secrets* you dont have to support all the time, sometimes we need support instead, are you ok?

hugs secrets nething we can help with

sits under table with scented tissue n blanket to mak it stop

Thanks Wildly :) I'm actually an 'old hat' I think is the phrase, when it comes to the psych ward, just been gone a while :D

*falls over laughing* Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllen!! lol good to see you sweetie.

*shrug* I'm just being silly about a doctors appt I've got next Monday... and since I was already feeling rather 'out of sorts'...

*heads to the kitchen and returns with a tea tray with coffee, tea, cocoa, bisquits, cake, cookies and all that other good stuff*
Love that the 'food' here doesn't contain calories ;)

*hugs Secrets* don't worry hun, you look after yourself okay and we're here if you want us!!!!

*cuddles Arwen back* thanks, nothing and everything I guess *sheepish grin* am feeling an ickle ickle bit better today though so let's see if I can nurse the positivity :P How are you?

*hugs Rusynchick* I hope today is better :)

*hugs Cheryl**hugs Shadowedseraph**hugs Forever_Lost*

Okay let's see if I can't get through this day and make six weeks. ugh. :P

gives Puppy SinClair a cuddle and hugs everybody hanging around today

*hugs everyone that wants them and grabs a calorie free biscuit* i'm not good today, but still haven't harmed *hugs cuddly toy* i keep repeating to myself, one more day, one more day.

*Hugs to everyone and extra teddy bears*

Yay for the calorie free biscuits and food! I love not having idiot nurses and doctors making me feel worse on this ward hehe!

Hope everyone is doing ok. Keep battling on, it's so hard but all we can do is keep trying. And keep hoping :-)

Another quiet and boring day for me today. Went to a choir thing last night and there were loads of people there and some guy filming and I got so anxious it took me so long to calm down. But I'm ok this morning, going to the library later and that's pretty much all I have planned for my day... Woop...

Thinking of you all, hugs and cuddles to all who want them xxx

*hugs you all*

Good to see you too Ally, I've missed you so effing much

Hannah(Banna), I forgot to say welcome back & glad you're back :)

Hannah, you missed me out tehehe, you can get to 6 weeks darling, massive cuddles if you want them :D

*offers cuddles nd cookies to all*

Someone didn't attend her last exam for the year, haha no more assignments & exams WOOP, but I've barely done any anyway, just trying to see if they can let me change courses after all, doubt it though due to not meeting the requiremets, if they don't let me, I'll have to re-do the whole first year of the course I've been doing which if I don't pass, I will LEAVE university. Maybe I should just die this summer, so much easier (Y)

*hugs MammaMia and takes a cookie* i hope they let you change courses. Uni is hard especially when your feeling rough!

wow, this is really busy atm. Thanks for all the hugs guys.

*hugs shadowedseraph* Im not sure how I am right now but thanks. Keep repeating that one more day and have some birthday cake.

*hugs cheryl* thanks, I may come hide with you. IS there anything we can help with.

*hugs foreverlost* Im pretty sure you're familiar from ages ago. Maybe I imagined it.

*hugs banana* quiet days are good.

*hugs helen* Im sure you shall sort something out, try not to worry about it and enjoy being free!

Things are bad and all in reverse, right now I want to hide although I can't as Im expected to be happy and stuff. I can't help being angry at my grandmother shes almost destroyed one life and wrecked a marriage and now shes destroying another. Makes me so mad.

Thanks you two. I hope so too.

I don't feel free lol, I just feel destructive :/

*hugs Secrets and takes some birthday cake* My psyche has just called and is seeing me in an emegency appointment tomorrow, i suddenly feel a bit less dejected and worthless, lets hope it lasts!

*hugs MammaMia* i know how you feel, and im here listening

Been feeling destructive for few weeks, just getting worse, am trying to control it, but losing control...

*leaves some milkshakes on the table*

Tc ppl..hope things r going well for all of u!!

xx

*crash tackles helen* loves you hun xxxxx
you can do this :D

You're turning into Jem hehe, jokes ;) Loves you too sweetheart.

Just randomly decided I am going to visit my old school lol, haven't visited them in over 6 months as I've been so so so so busy with uni :)

Hey Helen :-D *Hugs* Sorry to hear things are bad for you at the moment. Uni is horrible when things aren't going well. I've missed all of my exams and coursework for 2nd year now cos of being in the psych ward but I'll just do it another time. I've cancelled my year abroad and I'm gonna finish my degree with the Open University because I can't cope with uni.

Shadowedseraph yay glad you got an appointment, hope it goes well for you.

Secrets sorry to hear things are bad *hands over a hot chocolate (calorie free if you would prefer)*

Just been to the library and got a load of books. Some of them are to do with EDs and my dad decided he wanted to check they weren't to do with mh issues (even though I find it a comfort to read about mh issues and know I'm not alone) so I just hid them lol. I'm feeling ok at the moment, barely eaten anything and I finished off my Guide on how to cope with me for my folks and boyfriend.

One perk to being mentally ill... I went to the library and had a £12.60 fine! So I told the lady I had been in a psych ward for over a month and she said if I bring in proof that I was then she'll wipe the fine.

So it's not all bad...

*comes back in from smoking shelter* well actually, I had a little escape, lol, my partner came home early from his work trip in normandy whilst I was looking for positivity in the smoking shelter and he took me out!! He then placed me back as he'd had enough of me! lol?!

Anyhoo, sorry but my brain can't do individual responses, i'm all fuzzy headed and worried I;d miss someone out, especially as its been so busy in the 48hours I've missed. But it seems like theres something in the air/water as we're all having tough times, even those who have been doing so well are worried about slipping up.....

......AND SO......here is fresh oxygen tank breathie thingys for us all and an endless supply of bottled water!!!!

*hands out oxygen tanks & bottled water to all*

oh yes, and someone made a comment about this psych ward being a 'room' with unlimited free corners?! oh they so have not investigated the place thoroughly enough!!! From my past experience I have survived under the floor boards for over 8months, there is also a padded cell, a huge dark but oh so secret cupboard, somewhere there are some pot plants....I hope they haven't died since I last watered one.....hmmm....what else?! Anyone think of something I've missed out?!

*goes back out to smoking shelter and pays attention to psych ward on her journey*

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as not to stink of fags*

Aha! I found a room of requirement!!!!! but it only does SAFE requirements. Just go to your left, past the big pot plant (freshly watered), keep going along the bendy corridor until you come to a collection of small, also freshly watered, pot plants. Jump up and down 10times saying "I have a safe requirement!", then spin in a circle anti-clockwise 3times, whilst clapping your hands and thinking of your safe requirement, then.....ta dah!!!!

you know what?..... I typed those random things as I needed to keep my brain active, to use my imagination to get away from the real stuff.
It hasn't helped.
I feel like crying all of the time.
Sometimes I'm not even sure why.
I hate my mood swings.
I hate that I can't get myself out of this pit.
I hate that what the c**t did to me 11years ago still affects me.
I hate that I'm not strong enough to get through this.
I hate that I'm full of hate!!! RAAAAA!!!!

sorry to rant guys, I just needed to scream and get it out. No need to reply. Save your energy. *goes to padded cell for her own and other inamtes safety*