same here, also do not like this weather it is to cold

*cuddles all*

Today has gone soooooo wrong.

GRRRRRRRR!

*wishes to cry in real life* :(

yup... that too... yuck...
I swear I have had a sore throat, sniffles, runny nose, cough, etc (ie cold weather blues) ever since like mid-November.

I realise some people are unable to hug so I always append something that means "if you can accept them". I agree with you, people should make the effort all year round. And you are most welcome (regarding the support).

I am so not up for Christmas this year, my parents have actaully agreed we are not doing it, we will still give each other a gift but no fuss or ceremony. If I had my way I would shut myself in my flat with the cat and some dvds.

Tis bedtime here, it is supposed to snow during the night but Glasgow never really gets snow.

*big hugs to all*

I told my mother yesterday that I'm not intending to come over christmas day because I won't cope. She tried to use emotional blackmail ("nanna will be sad ....") but took another look at me and I think she decided she was skating over incredibly thin ice. I've agreed to go over christmas eve so that I can spend some time with my female parental unit's parental units. I love my grandparents (those that I knew anyway) but I really don't feel up to all the fakeness of yet another christmas. Meh. Especially since it's a reminder that I didn't die during the year.

everythings a-looommminngggg....






Basically...i feel like sheets ><





Amanda...what a cutie-pie avatar!!!!
It made me smile...briefly

Yuck another day in this hot as hell "tropical paradise". Anyone feel like knocking me over the head with a brick ?? Seriously though I'm over summer. Here where I live we really only have two seasons : summer and not-quite-so summer. I'm really over it. I want out ..... N->O->W. Sorry I'll stop my whining now.

I hope you all are having/have had good days, or at least days during which you were able to cope.

*leaves hugs for those able to accept them and steals away into the dark space under her bed to settle down to cry*

just a wee check in, mixed day, triumph tho - was in a dance performance tonight (burlesque dancing) and enjoyed it, the first things I have enjoyed in a long time, sad that I had nobody there to support me. Even forgot about the cuts (a friend helped me use cover up on them) for a while.

*hugs & blankets to all who need/want them*

*comes in crying, wish that was real life*

*hugs everyone*

*hugs Helen*

What's the matter sweetness ?

Just having a really **** **** **** week. So was really looking forward to toorrow to let my hair down & stuff, but even that is falling apart. But it'll be good night, well, I am hoping :)

I miss Stef so much, I feel like I'm not grieving, I feel like I'm going around asif nothing's happened some days. I can't stop thinking about her. But still no tears. I want to grieve. I don't think I've fully accepted what's happened yet.

I'm just fed up of this week really, it's been ****. >.< I just trying to keep going but the fight is proving a hard task at the moment.....

That's not good Helen. I'm sorry that your plans for the end of the week appear to be falling apart. I hope that it will still be a good night - If we can dream it we can force it into being.

It can be quite difficult and take some time before you are fully able to accept. You will get there darl. Just don't stress yourself about it. When the time comes your tear ducts will just open up and flood for you.

If there's anything we can do to help you with your fight let us know.

*hugs Helen*

Oh man, I'm so sorry...
Have to type..
Am so over it.. absolutely over it all..
Been having panic attacks all morning. I think coz I'm home alone. I feel so sick now. I feel like ****. I feel like my mind is going crazy. I feel like I'm going crazy.
I don't feel like the same person anymore...:sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:

*hugs everyone* I am so so sorry I have been so **** at supporting recently. I hope you can forgive me, and know that I do read all the posts and think of you all, always*


I am really struggling tonight. I can't, hell I don't even WANT, to do this anymore. I am not saying I will kill myself, because my plans require more attention to detail than that. But they are becoming more and more tempting. I can't live like this forever, I'm not even living! This is an existence, nothing more. I should have more, but I don't. All I think of is destroying myself, it is what I deserve. I have asked for help at a+e when being stitched etc, and all they do is tell me to call my CPN or refer me to the crisis team (pretty much anyway). The crisis team won't see me because I am not urgent enough and what the hell is the use of calling my CPN???? What do I SAY???

My life cannot and will not continue like this forever. I just need to let go. How do you let go completely? I will not attempt and fail, my method is fool proof. How do I say goodbye to the few people who rely on me?? :crying: :crying:

Sorry that I haven't been great support to anyone around here. I'm just ....

I opened the box that contained my sketches and drawings and found that my sketchbook and my folder have gotten wet and now have mould on them. It would take me ages to be able to draw or sketch like that again. I just don't know what I can do. I feel like doing myself some serious damage.

I'm sorry. I'll stop whining about my insignificant problems now. I'm really sorry.

Back to the crap life today, another miserable weekend ahead. I feel like a fraud here sometimes, on the surface my life looks great to others I am sure. Feel like there is nothing good to live for.

*hugs for all*

Finally cried a little.
Why did it take SIX bottles of alcohol though?
Stuipd stuipf stuipd girl =\

Oh Helen *hugs you*

*checks in and gets comfy*