*wonders around ward in hunt for April, cant see her, then remembers his special glasses which means he can see invisible people, finds April and cuddles her*

we're not sick of you going on about uni, its fasinating to hear about what your doing, it all sounds very hard and challenging to me and I think your doing amazingly well to keep going with it and do so well.
sorry your feeling anxious, but yeah I can understand typing helping realise some pent up energy, thats why I tend to pace if I'm anxious.

*cuddles Helen* April is right, typing and writing it all out can help sometimes, dont worry about it being loads or we've seen it before, if it will help you then go for it.

*cuddles all who want cuddles*

*stomps around the ward, then stomps off to read April's rv thread*

*hugs april, then goes off to hide*

You two are sweet. xx

*stomps back into ward and gives April extra special Oliver cuddles*

p.s sorry for all the stomping guys, I'm just an angry boy

Stomp away *stomps around too*

*stomps some more with Helen* you ok?

sorry to be a pain, but-can i have a hug please? :(

*cuddles Nicole* your not a pain, you ok?

*hugs oliver* no! :'( i cant hold it in anymore, i feel like everythings collapsing around me, and i'm just making it worse by refusing to do DBT. i'm not safe anymore and i dont know how to cope! *cries*

*cuddles Nicole with extra special Oliver cuddles* I'm sorry I dont have the right words at the moment, but you can get through this.
*offers to sit next to if you want*

i dont want to be here anymore :'(

*hugs Nicole lots*

Oliver, not really, but surviving..

*brings some mud in a tub for people to stomp away in* :D It's clean mud... no worms or anything... just good ol' mud!! (I love how mud feels, used to play with it all the time as a kid ♥)

*cuddles Oliver* Thanks for the special cuddles, and thanks for being so sweet. You really are a lovely guy, remember that, okay? :) How are you doing tonight?

*cuddles Nicole* I understand the feeling of not wanting to be here anymore, but you CAN and WILL get through this, sweetie. It will just take time and effort and I know that that sounds awful and everything... but you can make it. You're a strong girl and I have faith in you - I think we all do. Why aren't you doing the DBT anymore? just wondering, as it seemed like it was helping you some.

*cuddles Hels* How are you doing? LET IT OUT, sweetie. It's okay. I promise!!

*cuddles everyone else who wants cuddles, and leaves boxes filled with safe hugs on the table for those who want those instead, and leaves chocolate for everyone, dark/white/milk, your choice!!*

I am so tired... but Jarrod isn't at all... frustrating!! :( I hate going to bed without him but I also hate making him feel forced to come to bed when I want to go to sleep and he wants to stay up. I don't know. I'm just so damn sick of conflict, seems like we've had our fair share of it for quite awhile. :(

Talked with my parents a bit earlier and they helped a little with advice, but it seems they're on Jarrod's side as well. I hardly got to speak with my mum at all as she didn't know how to cope with my question of how do I submit yet not feel weak for submitting and then getting angry with myself for submitting? (if that makes sense) GRRRRR. So I'm not a happy camper tonight, really.

Plus, uni work is not going well and my brain feels like it fried last week, and still hasn't recovered. :'( I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I need to get stuff done but I'm scared that I won't be able to.

*hides in a hole* :crying:

April...I want to let it out but hmm *cuddles tight*

*cuddles Helen with extra special cuddles*
you want to talk?

Thanks Oliver *huggles lots*

Glad Sunday's finally over. Really crap day, with my mum threatening to kick me out and everything. Really ****ing hurt. Then nobody except my two best friends has given a **** about me today. Oh well.

So over being low. So over everything :(

What happened with the threat to get kicked out? why? (if you don't want to say here, that's fine... you can PM me or just not answer, that's fine too) I'm so sorry about it though, love... :( that's really rough. I'm glad that you have your besties to count on... but remember, you also have US. :) We give a damn about you... you're important to me, I know that much. *cuddles gently* ♥

*sighs and retreats to invisibility again* :'(

Stop going invisible =( *sits with April*

Me & my Mum had a bit of a row, haven't had one in weeks!! Should have seen it coming. But anyway..she said if I carried on, she'd kick me out & have to go live with my Dad. Can't do that as he splits his time between living at his mum's & stopping at his girlfriend's. So I'd be on the streets because I couldn't afford to go live with my sister & pay her rent. I'm sorry too :( I know she didn't mean it probably but it really hurt me. Felt like she was rejecting me. We've barely spoken since :'(

*cuddles April* sorry about the conflict of going to bed or not, could you maybe do a hlafway house, where you both get into bed and Jarrod stays up reading, or he is in the room, or something sorry I'm just throwing ideas out.
can I ask, what does submitting mean? you used it a lot in your last post and it confused me, I tried to work it out but couldnt, sorry I'm probably being really thick.

*cuddles Helen and Nicole*

can I ask people a question, do you guys talk to your parents about sh/mental health problems? its just I'm probably goingto have to get a load of work deferred cos of my depression and I can't lie to my mum like I did last year over my recital, so I'm think of telling her a bit of the truth.

thanks April, I dont feel like a lovely guy, feel like an idiot and a burden and someone who causes unnecessary stress to others.
I don't know how i am doing tonight, all over the place, but wont talk about it and bring my problems into here, will help others who need it, i'm just complaining and dont deserve your support.

*stomps and hides*

I don't really talk to my parents about my sh/mh problems. More like rowing (Y) Sorry that's not much help *cuddles*