RYL Forums

RYL Forums (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/index.php)
-   Veterans Board (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 13-05-2010 01:34 PM

*Hugs April* Do you think that the Mercy Ministrys would be of help to you? 6 months away from Jarrod would be a struggle but if it helped you stop self injuring for the rest of your life that would be amazing! I think you need to discuss it with Jarrod thorghuley * Spelling? * . You could think of it as 6 months away from your life and then being put back into your life better off and with lots of healthy tools to cope because I'm sure you would learn lots of ways to cope other than S.I. .
Thats what I think , I hope I came over clear *Bites Lip*

taz35 13-05-2010 02:49 PM

*hugs everyone*
April - That sounds rough =/ I don't think I could stand being away from my family for 6 months. But if it'll help you, go for it!

MammaMia 13-05-2010 03:05 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Doikers 13-05-2010 04:12 PM

*Cuddles Helen*

Louise 13-05-2010 04:15 PM

*hugs everyone*

Then hides in the corner

MammaMia 13-05-2010 04:17 PM

*hugs Mark & Louise*

Louise, want to talk about anything?

Louise 13-05-2010 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 2294333)
Louise, want to talk about anything?

Really struggling

MammaMia 13-05-2010 04:20 PM

Want to talk about why you're really struggling sweet?

Louise 13-05-2010 04:32 PM

Not been sleeping great due to being sexually assault also my mum is shouting at me.

MammaMia 13-05-2010 04:47 PM

Sorry to hear that :( Are you getting any professional support/help sweetheart?

PoisonedApple 13-05-2010 04:57 PM

*hugs April* Sorry I didn't answer about MM but like Mark I had no idea really what it was. After a bit of thought, I think for you an outpatient recovery place near home'd be better. Let me explain why... I think being far away from family and friends and a support system you've come to rely on that you would quite possibly be more triggered and anxious and in the end may feel overwhelmed and trapped. I think in general MM is a good idea I'm just not so sure it wouldn't cause you to feel worse rather than better. On the other hand if your insurance doesn't cover outpatient and you are low on finances (aren't we all these days) then MM might be the right move. Is any location close enough that Jarrod can drive to visit you on a weekend here and there? That might alleviate some of the stressors and anxiety if he can.

*hugs Mark* I will read about your "debt" problem in the thread you made on the issue.

Oh and Mark and April and Hayley... I found out that while people in the US can't connect to EU servers in WoW EU people can connect to US servers (dunno why it wasn't explained but just saying if anyone's up for all of us playing WoW together one of these days).

*hugs all* Hope you're feeling better now Lindsay, you too Louise.
Gotta run to cover the front desk sorry for not replying better everyone.

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 06:17 PM

*cuddles april* I didnt know what MM was either... But I think it sounds like a good program. However, as u and others have said, you have to decide whether or not you can be without your family support system for that time. If you can, I say go for it. Sometimes its good to get away from people for a short time and just focus on yourself.

*hugs helen, louise, julie, crimson, taz and kahlia*

*waves to owen*

*hugs lindsay* im sorry that you are feeling unsafe. Please try not to do anything and keep distracted.

*hugs mark* I'm glad that you got your meds for the time being! At least now you will have time to sort out the other issue with your GP. I'll go read your other thread in a minute.

PoisonedApple 13-05-2010 07:42 PM

I found yet another place I must visit on vacation one of these days... ****ing, Austria.

MammaMia 13-05-2010 08:18 PM

*hits things, screams and hides*

ARRRRRRRRRR3GHHHHH

Louise 13-05-2010 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 2294375)
Sorry to hear that :( Are you getting any professional support/help sweetheart?

Not at the moment I did have a councillor but had a really bad experience, so scared to go back.

PoisonedApple 13-05-2010 08:21 PM

*huggles and sits by Helen*

EDIT~ Sorry Louise you and I posted at the same time :) What was it that made it a bad experience (if I may ask)? If it is uncomfortable to talk to a guy could you ask to speak to a female counselor, or something of the like...? That way you have support but it won't put you in an unsafe place, maybe. If that makes any sense...

Louise 13-05-2010 08:32 PM

He said that he did not believe me also was really sexual with me and he said that is all i came for which was so not.

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 2294716)
*hits things, screams and hides*

ARRRRRRRRRR3GHHHHH

helen u ok?

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 08:35 PM

*cuddles helen* whats wrong hun?

*hugs crimson* All this travel/moving talk is making me want to get out of the midwest US soooo badly lol.

*hugs louise* omg... I'm sorry that you've such bad experiences.. I know it can be scary but it doesnt mean all help is going to be bad.

PoisonedApple 13-05-2010 08:43 PM

Louise~ Do you feel comfortable trying again with a woman this time?

Laura~ Sorry but I couldn't help but post that... I mean really a town named ****ing. Its supposed to be pronounced Fooking but still LOL

Hello Julie!

*leaves little hug care packages on the table*

Louise 13-05-2010 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2294748)
*hugs louise* omg... I'm sorry that you've such bad experiences.. I know it can be scary but it doesnt mean all help is going to be bad.

I know it just scares me

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelic_monster (Post 2294762)
Louise~ Do you feel comfortable trying again with a woman this time?

I am thinking about it because I really feeling unsafe

*hugs helen* we are here for you

Scarletdreamer 13-05-2010 08:57 PM

*cuddles Mark* Sorry I had to get off of chat so quickly, my parents were at the door and I had to go answer, and then hang out with them for a bit. I'm really sorry... :( I feel bad about that. I hope that you didn't SI... or if you did, that it wasn't too bad. :( Did the diazepam kick in pretty quickly? Oh and yes, what you said about MM made perfect sense. Thanks for replying. :)

*cuddles Crimson* Thanks for your response as well. I'm not sure if getting away from my parents and Jarrod would be a good thing, but it might be something that I HAVE to do in order to get the treatment I need. I would probably form a support network pretty fast wherever I went... did in the past when I went to hospital and whatnot. However, there are no locations close enough for Jarrod to drive down on a weekend or whatever, and I don't think they'd allow that type of thing anyway. At least, at MM. I don't even know what their policy is for married women. :-S It's something I'd have to look at. I know that some other free programs are not very keen on having married women in them... and others are for too long (12 months, for example, although people can be at MM for that long too, if necessary). Oh, and it would be awesome if Mark and Hayley could make toons on some (normal, not PVP/RP/RPPVP) US server... :D

*cuddles Hels* What's up, sweetie?

*cuddles Louise* That's so awful... not all counselors/therapists are like that though, love, I promise. :( But I can understand why you would be reluctant to get professional help now.

*cuddles Laura* Thanks for your response as well. :) If I ever mention something and you don't know what it is, just ask - this goes for all of you - since it's been shown right now that it's not just you not knowing, it's more than just you. :P Lol. It's fine, I don't mind explaining. :) But anyway, thanks for replying. :) You and others do have valid points about going without my family support system, but, well, my response to Crimson says it all. Hehe. How are you doing??

*cuddles Julie* How are you, love?

I think I got everyone that had responded since my last post... if I missed you I am so sorry!!!! *cuddles everyone*

Just got back from my parents' house where we went for lunch after walking/hiking on a river path at a nearby state park. It was lovely and I took some pics... my haircut doesn't look nearly as good now as it did before. But it still looks decent. :) I'm happy with it, hehe, still, which is good.

Daniel (cat) says hello... he's draped over my arm (literally) and being a little brat cat. Lol.

I'm so tired... took a long nap at my parents' but am still tired. And my internship starts on Monday - I think - and I am SCARED. :(

*hides*

frenchhorn 13-05-2010 09:08 PM

*hugs Louise* I'm really sorry you had a bad experioence with a counsellor, I've had different bad experiences, but now I like my counsellor and have actually got past a 3rd session with him, he is the 6th counsellor I've had so it can take time to find the right one. Yeah maybe a female counsellor would be good for you

*hugs Crimson* ooo I would love to go to Austria too, it always looks so amazing, the towns, cities and the mountains.

*hugs Helen* whats up?

*hugs April* yeah your right part of the reason for me not posting for a while was cos of the fight, but also because I've been so damn depressed that I've not even had the energy to read everythig and type and do adequate replies, so I'm sorry about that, which also meant I missed you say about MM, which I hadnt heard of either. I think its going to be a big decision for you, maybe write a pros and cons list of going, thats what I always do when I have to make big decisions. good luck with your internship.

*hugs Laura* how are you?

*hugs Julie* I spy you!! how are you?

I also spy JK

*hugs all the ward mates who want hugs and waves at the others*

I'm doing a bit better, still really depressed and suicidal, but not wanting to act on it at the moment, although my mood is going up and down very quickly, started new ad's again on monday so am having fun with side effects at the moment, also got my psychiatrist appt through, which is for gender stuff, basically I just have to be assessed by them before I can be referred to the gender identity clinic, so its the first step.
also symphony orchestra concert tomorrow night. my room is a tip and desperatly needs a tidy, plus some serious washing up needs to be done as we have no mugs or cups left its not good, but flatmates who dont do much washing up dont exactly help, so it looks like I will be having a massive washing up session on saturday morning.

jonikd 13-05-2010 09:12 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Helen, sweetie, you ok? *cuddles gently*

Waves to Louise, hi I'm JK.

Morning Julie, hope you got some sleep. I had pumpkin soup for dinner too lol.

Nice to see you here Oliver, and that you're doing a little better. Hang in there hun, it will all be worth it *hugs*

*hugs April* I did worse than the others hun, I didn't even see your post about MM! Sorry. Glad you got out in the fresh air, it makes a difference sometimes I reckon. Please look after yourself, you're a special chick.

*Hugs Laura, Crimson, Mark,Lindsay, Kahlia, Taz*

*wonders where Hayley, Ally & Nicole are*

*wonders who I've missed* sorry

*snuggles into Daniel :)*

I'm OK, just off to an all day conference so will come back later to see how you all are going. Still SI'ng most days but not bad at all so pretty comfortable with it. My psych cancelled on me yesterday so feel a bit unloved but will be alright I reckon.

Love to you all
JK

PoisonedApple 13-05-2010 09:21 PM

*huggles JK* no need to feel unloved :) we love you here.

*huggles Oliver* I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Maybe these new meds are just what you needed.

Sorry for no other indiv replies right now but my dyslexia is running a muck and I'm growing weary of retyping everything...

Doikers 13-05-2010 09:43 PM

*Hugs April* I'm sure you will fit right into your internship , you're nervous about it but that is totally normal and understandable , I would be too.

*Hugs Helen LOTS*

*Hugs JK* Crimson already said it but we here love you :)

*Hugs Oliver*

*Offers hugs to Louise*

*Hugs Laura and Julie , Nicole , Hayley , Taz, MID , and everyone else who needs them .* Sorry If I forgot to hugs you * leaves spare hugs on a stool :)*

*Waves towards Owen*

Yes you helped me earlier April , I managed to get through the day Self harm free :) and I was SO triggered I thought it was inevitble but because of you chatting to me whilst the Diaz had time to work really helped , Thankyou :)

MammaMia 13-05-2010 10:08 PM

FFS, I just wrote a long post & lost it all. *starts again*

MammaMia 13-05-2010 10:13 PM

I'm sorry for writing that post & then leaving this thread for over an hour. Woops. Didn't expect to get that many replies actually. Made me cry all over again.

Not having a good day for various reasons (what's new?!). I was on the phone to my sister after my dinner, sat up to take everything out & come upstairs. I managed to drop the empty can (some of which I'd split all over the stairs) & the knife as I wobbled, as I have lack of balance, wlel I have balance but not as much as I should. Mum told me watch what I'm doing, so I snapped at her that it was only a knife & an empty can and to get over it. Woops, then yelled at my sister down the phone & hung up. Made that post because I was so pissed off. My family don't even realise how much I'm struggling right now. Then had a massive stupid argument with my best friend. Again. Oh dear.....

I just want this **** to end please? :'( :'( :'(

Oh & I'm glad certain people have finally left the ward & everyone has come back. Love you guys xxx

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 10:45 PM

*hugs crimson* haha o wow, yea i didnt realize that there was a city called that. Thats kinda awesome lol.

*hugs louise* I hope that if you decide to go to a female therapist that it is a much better experience... as april said, they are not all bad.

*hugs april* I would be nervous about an internship too, but thats normal. I'm sure you'll do great! Im glad that you are still liking your hair, it looks really good on you.

*hugs jk* Im sorry that your psych canceled on you.. But we all love you here! I hope that you managed to stop SI-ing, even if it isnt that bad, don't let it become worse. *more extra special hugs*

*hugs oliver* I'm glad that you are feeling a little bit better. Good luck at your concert! And that really sucks that some of your flatmates dont help with the washing up. I think that is what i hated the most about having roommates, and one of the reasons that i live by myself now.

*hugs helen* I'm sorry that you had a fight with your friend and with your family. Fighting is awful most of the time.. But you see, we all care here so of course you got replies! <3 :-)

*hugs mark* are you feeling any better now that you have your diaz? I hope that you are.

I just went and sold some books back, got way less than i thought I would but some cash is better than none i guess. I'm feeling kinda lonely right now. Everyone is still testing and I've just been sitting home except for dinner last night... not that if they weren't testing that many of them would call anyway. I dont know. I feel like there isn't much for me here at my uni anymore (other than my degrees of course), but its better than going home all summer... I would really be bored then.

MammaMia 13-05-2010 10:59 PM

Thanks Laura.

I just turned my old phone on to check something & found a voicemail. Expected it to be my mobile company as they keep ringing (and I keep avoiding) and it wasn't. It was my doctors surgury (totally forgot I gave it to them last year), must have had my blood tests or something. I was told to ring them in 10 days after, it's been 8. Hmmm really worried now. Wish I'd picked it up earlier.......

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:03 PM

*hugs all who want/need & can accept them*

Wow, I feel like I miss so much . . .

Feeling like crap. :(

MammaMia 13-05-2010 11:03 PM

*hugs Kahlia lots*

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:05 PM

-lays on the floor- i'm not moving i dont care wat she says we're to tired and our legs hurt
and so does our tummy so i'm not moving

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:08 PM

*cuddles Helen* - Thankyou for the hugs. I really need them right now. :crying:

Owen: Are you and Julie okay? Are you sick? Or have you been doing too much?

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:11 PM

u is upset... -gives u a life size teddy to hug u-
-shuffles feet and offers hugs- u needs hugs i give them if u want

we be ok
we done lotsa fitness class this week

MammaMia 13-05-2010 11:13 PM

Owen, look after yourself & Julie.. :)

Kahlia *hugs lots more*

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:14 PM

Thanks for the hugs Owen. I'll accept them gladly. Thanks also for the teddy.

Are you sure you're going to be okay? Just let us know if there is anything that we can do, okay?

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:14 PM

*cuddles Helen* Thanks hun.

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:16 PM

-looks at the ground and whispers- i think julie going to have girl month stuff soon
...yucky

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:37 PM

... noone here everyone must be sleeping

MammaMia 13-05-2010 11:38 PM

I'm not sleeping Owen.

OMG I have to wait another 8 hours & 20 minutes for this phone call making. Ugh hurry up, I need to know :'(:'(:'(

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:40 PM

-sits next to helen- hi

Scarletdreamer 13-05-2010 11:48 PM

I spy a Hels!! *cuddles* I'm sorry that you've had fights, they suck horrendously when they do happen. :( And sorry that you've had such a **** day overall... :( wish I could do more to help, but feel free to PM me whenever. I'm a bit slow at responding (sorry :o) but I will respond.

*waves at Owen* Girl stuff isn't that yucky, it's just something that has to happen, but I see how it could be viewed as yucky. Julie isn't doing too much, is she?

*cuddles Kahlia lots & lots* What's up, sweetie? I'm sorry that you feel like you miss so much here... :( is there anything I can do to help you in any way? Remember that we all love you here... :) ♥

*cuddles JK* Don't feel unloved, you're also loved here and IRL I'm sure. :) I'm glad that the SI wounds aren't too bad, just please try not to let them get bad? I'm concerned that you are SI'ing so frequently... *holds you gently*

*cuddles Oliver* Sorry you're so low, love. I wish that I could help you more. I feel so helpless sometimes, even with my training in counseling I still don't feel like I know anything... which is why I will be going on for my PhD... lol. Yeah. I'm rubbish at helping... but I'm here to listen if you need. 'Kay? *more cuddles*

*squishes Laura* You're staying at your uni for the summer? Ah yes, you got that job, right? Hopefully it will go well. :) Do you rent an apartment? Sorry for all of the questions... :-S

*squishes Mark* I'm so glad that I helped you get through!! :D I am proud of you for not SI'ing, that's awesome. *does the happy dance* Lol... it's nice feeling like I've actually done summat of worth in a day. :-S

So I'm trying to help this 15 year old girl that I've never "officially" met, just know her and of her problems through my bestie's little sister, we go to the same church... and just ONE person leaning on me like a therapist's client would is wearing me down. :( She has so much going on in her life right now... and I feel so helpless. Like I can't offer anything to her for help, and like she's expecting me to be a whiz at solving her problems. I don't know. I really do like her, she's sweet and I understand a lot of what she's going through, but it's like... if I can't handle ONE PERSON like that, then how the hell am I going to handle a caseload full? :'( I guess that really hit home, that I have to get better first, because I got triggered just by the stuff she typed to me in an email, and it really wasn't that triggery of stuff. Damnit!! :'( EPIC FAIL once again... :crying: Pathetic.

*hides in shame* :'(

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 11:49 PM

*hugs helen* Try to not think about the phone call.. It'll only make you even more anxious. (I know thats easier said than done)

*hugs kahlia*

*waves to owen* I'm not sleeping either.. its only 6pm lol.. that would be very early for me to be in bed.

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 11:54 PM

Oops.. i missed you while i was typing April - And yea i'm staying here for work and I have an apartment. My uni is about 2 1/2 hours away from my hometown.

You are NOT pathetic or a fail. Its hard to handle trying to help people sometimes. Maybe you'll feel different in a more professional setting? I dont know, sometimes when i had to interview patients for the psych study i was involved in i was able to stay "un-triggered" b/c it was business.

*huggles*

Scarletdreamer 13-05-2010 11:59 PM

Thanks for the response, Laura. *cuddles* I just... I don't know, I am not stable right now. I'm beginning to see the wisdom in the psych dept. faculty not allowing me to go intern in a psych ward or a counseling center, etc., because it would only make me worse. I really really want to SI and purge right now and am very anxious too... feeling pretty much like a basketcase. :'( I don't know what to do either... typing calms me down some but I don't feel like updating my LJ with the same old crap... and I am not sure that WoW would be a wise idea at the moment because I am so anxious. :'(

I can't help but feel like a failure. I don't know. I just hate myself so ****ing much... :'(

*hides in a dark, deep, lonely hole* :crying:

Kahlia1981 14-05-2010 12:03 AM

*huggles all - with the usual addendum*

April - Maybe you can use this to learn how to get the "degree of separation" that you will need for the therapy case-load? It will be easier for you in some respect if you don't know the person, but you are going to have to learn to think of the issues as separate from yourself. I know that isn't easy to do, but if you can't learn to do it, you'll easily find yourself drowning. I don't know the best way to do it - maybe there is someone you can talk to about it? I'm not trying to talk down to you about it here either, just thinking that you will need to make sure that you don't get too emotionally involved so you don't get triggered .... not sure if that makes sense.

A big thanks to all who have offered/given me hugs. And *big hugs* right back at you.

Sorry I'm so crap at supporting right at the moment. I just feel like my entire life has gone down the tubes . . .

:crying:

xxjuliexx 14-05-2010 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2295166)

*waves at Owen* Girl stuff isn't that yucky, it's just something that has to happen, but I see how it could be viewed as yucky. Julie isn't doing too much, is she?

it is yucky for me..
and wat u mean by to much

Scarletdreamer 14-05-2010 12:28 AM

Owen, by too much I meant exercising too much. Doing too much physical activity for what she's been eating. Just wondering... don't want her to strain her body. :(

Kahlia, thanks for the comments. It didn't feel like you were talking down to me at all... I know - well, some PART of me knows - that I will have to distance myself from people somehow... to be clinical about it... but I don't know how to do that without losing empathy. I don't know. Am I making any sense? This definitely could be a learning experience, yes, but in the meantime, it's a weight on my shoulders. And I don't want to admit that to anyone but those here, because it's... well, not something I'd admit to IRL to (m)any people. :( I'll try talking with my NP about it the next time I see her, or I'll text her, or something. I don't know. :-S

I feel awful. Got on WoW for a bit but was too anxious to do much of anything. :( I feel so stupid. And low. And I just want a hot bath... :'(

I'm so pathetic. And I AM a failure... :crying:

xxjuliexx 14-05-2010 12:42 AM

no april not failure no no no


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:44 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.