Well if you take out the dreading tomorrow and the week which has to follow, I guess I'm okish, but I'm pretty scared that I am going to self harm next week to cope with it, I've been free for 2 months now. Its ok in the day because rehearsing and my best friend on the course is now over 18, so she can come to the pub in evening too, but its the nights when we have to be in our own rooms which will be the worse.
I get so angry when people say bisexual people are greedy and I get even more angry when people in the LGBT community judge others in the LGBT community, I know a lot of transphobia comes from within the LGBT community
Thats not a dumb idea, thanks, its just going to be tough, especially with probably no internet access and the stresses of having to learn the music in a week for a concert. Its going to be tough, but I am looking forward to the fact I get to buy my first DJ when I get back to uni for symphony orchestra, as I am out there and then get to live as male for qite a few months.
I'm rambling now so going to shut up.
*hugs Helen* I'm glad you've clamed down a bit, hope you begin to feel a bit better, hopefully getting your haircut will be good for you.

*goes out into the garden to stroll around*

I am so ****ing angry with myself.

Pathetic whinger.

:crying:

But you all are awesome... *cuddles everyone*

*hugs everyone*

I don't want to be awake. I've been awake for awhile ... but I still don't want to be awake. I think I'll have what my housemate refers to as a homosexual (fag/cigarette) - with definitely no menace intended. And then look at the time again and decide whether I can afford to have a little rest.

*huggles everyone then toddles off to the smoking shelter*

*hugs Kahlia & April lots*

*dances around happily even if she is low at same time LOL*

*comes back in from the garden satisfied with the results and hugs everyone*
time to go home from work... if I don't get online tonight I'll see everyone in the morning.

*cuddles all*
I'm off to bed and probably won't have time to come on tomorrow morning, so I hope everyone has a good week and a bit and I shall be back sunday week.

*leaves lot of cuddles and fresh fruit*

*huggles Oliver*
*grabs a couple strawberries and a banana*
Don't let 'em drag ya down. Have fun at your concert.
*packs hidden hugs and cuddles in Oliver's suitcase*

*cuddles everyone* sorry my head hurts, i cant do individual replies right now.

I did wind up going out tonight. It was alright, but I'm home early b/c ppl really didnt want to stay out. I feel kinda numb and stupid.. but idk why really.

Sorry for the lack of individual replies I feel kind of numb.....
*Hugs the good folk of the ward*

*cuddles everyone*

I am so tired. Exhausted really. Jarrod stayed home from work today because I woke up whimpering from a nightmare and also because I don't feel safe. At all. And I don't know how deep (or where) I would cut if he weren't home to act as an accountability partner type of thing.

:(

*more cuddles*

I spy a Mark!! *cuddles* How are you?

April *HUGS* I'm sorry you don't feel safe , I wish I knew what to say but I don't feel all that safe either , it's good that Jarrod is staying with you today .
Today is a milestone for me , I'll post about it later, right now I must leave the flat to keep from S.I. , lucky its a nice day :)

Yey for milestone days... *cuddles Mark* I look forward to hearing about it... and good luck staying safe. :)

My eyes are heavy I'm that tired...

*sigh*

Just updated my r/v thread... :(

*cuddles everyone*

Am having a really good start to my weekend :D The sun is out shining again, I have a new boyfriend *giggles*, been out shopping & off to the hairdressers soon. I got a good feeling about today & tomorrow. Sunday, blah I'll get through it somehow :)

April, am sorry you don't feel safe but glad Jarrod there to keep you safe :D

*hugs Helen* I hope you have a WONDERFUL weekend , Sunday included :-)

*hugs everyone*
How can I feel like it's nap time when I only got up about an hour ago?
*curls up in a corner for a nap*

Mark, I seriously doubt Sunday will be good, but thank you.

*hugs everyone*

My hair's been cut =)

*reads messages from earlier*
Mark~ What kind of milestone? *gets excited for you*
Helen~ Have a wonderful weekend hun. Who knows maybe you'll enjoy the weekend with the bf and haircut so much Sunday will just fly by without you realizing.
*cuddles April* Do you think sleeping some would help since you aren't feeling safe?
*group huggles April, Mark, Oliver, Helen, Kahlia, Laura and anyone else I can find in the ward*

I suposse you're right :) I can't wait to talk to my boyfriend already aha!! No doubt he'll be drunk when I next speak to him, typical boy!! *squeals and jumps about*

Sorry, just making the most of it whilst I can :D

Awh Hels, I hope that this relationship works out well for you. :D *cuddles* And yeh, I agree, I hope that you'll be having so much fun that the weekend will just fly by. If not, well, we're here, as you know... :)

Oliver, sorry that you've had to put up with people being mean to you. That's never fun. :( I wish I could help you somehow... and I hope that this weekend goes okay for you. *hugs*

Mark!! I am getting more and more intrigued about this milestone!! *cuddles*

*huggles Crimson* Erm, hubby wouldn't let me sleep as I tend to overdo it when I do sleep during the day. So I played WoW and got my priest (who is level 60 [out of 80 levels]) to exalted with Darnassus, the night elf capital city. I worked on that for about 4 hours this morning... I know, lame, right? :-/ (Hayley, what do you think? :D Cool or what? I've been working on that for a loooong time... I also have a 41 warlock that's exalted with Darnassus, for the mount[s].) But anyway... how are you??

Laura, how're things going? *squishes*

I'm so tired... damnit... :( And I've practically the whole day ahead of me. I'm on campus until 5:20pm and it's only 1:20pm now. Four more whole hours... :( Boo hiss. At least I have the internet and books and my journal...

*sigh*

And of course I want to SI now that no one is here watching me closely. :(

I am so over myself. :crying: