Hey Lindsay *Hugs* How are you this evening?

first off, hi sarahm im nicole, welcome to the ward. x
and then.....
i am so STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID! argh.

*Hugs Nicole* Whats up ? You're not stupid , You are a very bright person :)

I'm not feeling safe here so I'm going to spend the night with my fiance, thanks for being here and I'll check in again tomorrow x

*Hugs Sarah* , try and stay safe :)

*hugs sarah*
*hugs mark* i AM stupid, i let a little argument with my cousin get in the way of our friendship and now she has new friends, which i wouldnt mind, but they are drug addicts and now she is getting into drugs, and i feel responsible, but i cant tell anyone, i mean, she only smokes a bit of weed, its not that bad right? but then theres her son.......

*waves to Sarah* Hi, I'm Taz.

*huggles everybody else* 8 pages since I left, so no individuals right now. Amusement park went alright, it started downpouring 2 hours in, so we left and went to the mall which was nearby, spent 2 hours shopping and then returned to the park since the weather had cleared up. Feeling really tired + just fed up at the moment, but am on day 5 of not cutting and am really determined to make it at least a week... but we'll see.

Hope everyone else is staying safe <33

*Hugs Taz* Day 5 is really good :) !!!

Hi Sarah, I'm Claire. Hope you have a good night and feel a bit better.

How are you feeling Lindsay?

Nicole *hugs* that's a tricky situation. It's her choice to take drugs though, you haven't forced that on her. I would try to talk to her, calmly so that things don't escalate.

Hi Taz, five days is good! *hugs* have a relaxing night watching a film or something?

Mark, how are you doing? *hugs*

*Hugs Claire*
I'm a touch triggered.
Have done my shopping list for tomorrow , usually I wing it but I made a list , How Efficient!
I have been really BADLY wanting to drink ( alcohol ) this evening but I haven't got any in , although the off licence is open until 11pm . I want Monday to come and for me to be able to take my Antabuse , it's a huge insentive to not drink.I need to be breathalised by my nurse first .
I'm off to bed soon , I have taken a Diaz and got up at a reasonable time so I hope I sleep well.

How are you claire?

Cuddles all, hmm really not in a good frame of mind tonight. Was walking to catch my bus home and all could think of was i really wanted to step in front of a car. My heads so messed up right now.

*hugs Mark* try to use that as an incentive, and you know that alcohol doesn't help anything, you know that. Sleep well!

*hugs everyone* I'm not feeling too great, a bit mangled in my mind I think.

I'm at my friend's and in a fairly good mood watching 'tv's greatest mistakes'l I'll do a better reply when I'm not on my phone. xx

what can i put with vodka? i have no orange juice or coke or anything and i cant drink it neat....

Taz, well done! You're doing fantastically.

Mark, you can do this, I believe in you. Stay strong.

Shadowedsoul, that sounds scary. I have been in that position before. I hope you feel better soon.

Claire, do you want to talk about it?

Lia, i'm glad you're feeling ok.

I'm not too bad. I haven't self harmed yet which is good but I don't know if I can hold off for much longer. The crisis team are supposed to be getting in touch with me but i've heard nothing yet.

Nicole, can you drink something else?

no. i have only got vodka, and i want it, but it makes me sick neat.

*hugs Mark* Thanks. I hope you sleep well tonight <33 And good job on not having a drink! You can keep it up :D

*hugs Claire* Thanks... and I hope your mind unmingles itself soon <3

*hugs Lia* I'm glad you're doing alright!

*hugs Nicole* You can always put water with it. It covers the taste of the vodka quite nicely. Even better, put water and then a lemon wedge if you have one :)

*hugs Lindsay* Thanks :) Fingers crossed the crisis team contacts you soon <3

*hugs Jill* Ick, sorry to hear hun :( I've had that feeling too, it's awful. I'm glad you still posted though, which means you didn't step in front of them :)

*hugs taz* thanks, i might try that, i dont think i have nay lemon, but i will have a look, im hoping drinking will stop me from ODing or self harming even more :(

*hugs Nicole*

Lindsay, my dad isn't well, and I don't really know how to cope. I'm not good at this stuff. Now I'm sitting in tears trying not to cut. I'm just totally lost.