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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 03-07-2008 06:24 PM

*hugs Hana*

Well done on the four months =]

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 06:32 PM

*hugs helen back*

Thanks sweetie. Just doesn't seem worth it anymore. My parents probably are right though. Probably shouldn't be here anymore, Can't do anything right. If I can't even pass my driving test how am I going to pass my private pilot's licence, how am I going to pass my commercial pilots licence? How am I going to achieve my dreams if I just fail at every hurdle. Probably failed my first year at uni as well.

****. Sorry. I'ma go be quiet now.
You ok sweetie?

1ofmany 03-07-2008 07:37 PM

I took 4 tries on my driving test so dont worry about that. Its mostly a numbers things (the can only pass so many people) usualy only one of the people who goes out within the hour passes.
Have a pillow and a marshmello!

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 07:48 PM

Thanks :) I just... I wouldn't feel so bad if my parents actually cared about the way I'm feeling about it. Or about anything. I just... don't want to be here anymore, and not just because of th stupid driving test. The amount of times they've said 'oh, you're too lazy, you shouldn't bother being alive anymore' Then there was the time my dad went on about my SH... 'oh why don't you just go and slit your wrists again? tell you what, shall I just do it for you? like that would you?'
HATE THEM. I actually do. *sigh* WHy do I ****ing care so much??? Damnit.

lil-princess 03-07-2008 07:49 PM

I am sooooo bloody annoyed and pissed off and furious and the list goes on :( i feel like i'm going to breakdown so i'm going out i have to or i'm going to go mad.

*huggles everyone*

1ofmany 03-07-2008 07:54 PM

I think my parents would flip if they found out about me. They get angry enough with me as it is. What really makes me angry at the mo is I am back at my summer job but i dont get a "well done" i get a lecture on how i could take out another job (i alredy have another one!). When i said i dont want/need three jobs mum goes on about how she had three when she was 13 and all this.

wow didnt realise that was going to be a rant...sorry about that guys.

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 08:01 PM

wish I had words foryou... sorry guys. I'll b e better later, promise.

*hugs everyone who wants*

1ofmany 03-07-2008 08:07 PM

Well fortuntly I have a little bit to hold on to at the mo. I got my results today and i passed everything! I was sure i had failed at least one thing but i actualy got two 2:2s! Just anoyed i cant be as happy as i want about them with being angry at the mo :( but am trying to stay on the possitive.

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 10:24 PM

I'm sorry... I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. 2:2's are great though! I... I won't get there. ****. Sorry turning this back to me again. I... I wish I could help, support, whatever, I wish I could be there for you properly, but again, I'm too damned selfish.

****. Sorry. Hope you're still holding on to the positives.


hellbunny 03-07-2008 10:36 PM

sorry bout your driving test! but always keep hold of your dreams you neve know when they gunna suprise you and take flight. (no pun intened)

thats fantastic bout the exams, i think parents are all the same. apparently every parent had like thousands of jobs. and we should do the same. not the fact that we have problems of our own and our own battles to fight.

hugs all and gives out comfy pillows hope i was some use!
x x

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 10:41 PM

I can't... I can't keep hold of my dreams... if I can't drive a ****ing car, how the hell can I hope to fly a ****ing plane? I just... every ttime I've flown recently, it's been too tempting to fly into the ground. I want to even now,ad I'm not in the air. I don#t want to be hereanymore. Nothing else for me.

hellbunny 03-07-2008 11:01 PM

have you spoken to people about how you feeling because with the right help i think it could really help hunnie

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 11:04 PM

I tried. Uni counselling kicked me out after my "quota" of 6 weeks, and then kept telling me to go talk to my doctors, doctors told me to go talk to uni counselling. Stuck in a neverending cycle. tried talking to different doctors, they just say there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. Given up bothering. More stress than it's worth.


irkeninvader 03-07-2008 11:24 PM

It's stupid that they only give you 6 weeks of counselling, specially when the doctors won't do anything. Could your uni speak to your doctor and tell them that they need to do something to help you?

Kuwairo 03-07-2008 11:41 PM

*hugs hana*
sorry I'm useless tonight hun, but take care, yeah?

Auburn Shadow 03-07-2008 11:53 PM

Thanks Ku, I understand. You ok? I'll try and take as much care as I can.

I've tried talking to uni counselling, get them to write to my doctor, they won't. Tried getting doctor to tell uni counselling to extend the 6 weeks indefinately, they say they're not qualified to deal with self harm. Why bother with the last 6 weeks then??? I'm beginning to think people are trying to trivialise everything, make me feel worthless. well they've done a damned good job there. Doctor down here says there's not much point starting anything down here if they're not going to continue it once I go back to uni, and I kind of agree with him actually. There is no point. Get through this on my own. Again.

Kuwairo 04-07-2008 12:21 AM

You're not useless, and you've got us.

I'm getting by hun.

wildone 04-07-2008 12:37 AM

Would like a padded cell
Checking in for a few nights with my 24yr old rag doll for company. shes missing a leg and is a bit tatty but she need me to hold her hand. I'll try and remember to sign the register tomorrow if i'm well enough

Kuwairo 04-07-2008 12:44 AM

hello =)
your rag doll sounds adorable, what's she called?

blondiebear 04-07-2008 12:47 AM

*hugs hana*
*hugs wildone*
*hugs ku*

I'm waiting to see if there is any word on my friend.

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