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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

youonlyliveonce 04-01-2010 10:34 PM

i guess it does well it improves apparently u gota keep working at it.
keep fighting the urges u can do it i believe in u chick big hugs nething we can do

PoisonedApple 04-01-2010 10:56 PM

i dunno... didn't sleep well or much and found out today that my grandmother is worse off than she was, my father got an infection bad enough to get an infected subcutaneous cyst (the cyst is caused by an infection and he let it go long enough that the cyst got infected), and my great uncle has been sick for the last few months (or maybe my father is calling it sick and he's been drunk the whole time like when i was a kid... i didn't ask for clarification)... my grandmothers oncologist wants to talk to my father (this is never good but she refuses surgery on the tumor in her chest that's causing her heart problems)... i don't have enough money or leave time to go see gram, go to the reunion and get my teeth fixed let alone my anniversary too... *
The following content has been hidden - Reason : poss. triggering...
wants to bang head into desk*
i feel like i'm falling apart... or maybe it's being ripped apart.
*screams in futility*

Kahlia1981 05-01-2010 10:30 AM

*gently hugs everyone*

I had an okay day today. I got 5 hours sleep last night but really wanted more. I had an appointment with my employment counsellor, and that went okay. I also went for a couple of walks. Hopefully I'll be able to get some decent sleep tonight. I wouldn't lay any bets on it though. *sigh*

My mood is low but I've been able to pretend that it's not and I don't think anyone IRL is aware of where I'm at. I'm having seriously dangerous thoughts, and my negative controlling voice is very strong. *sigh* Oh to step off the world for a day or two and just be in restful peace.

*curls up in a dark corner with a blanket*

[Awakening] 05-01-2010 01:17 PM

*hugs everyone and offers delicious chocolates*

I'm not feeling good right now. I just want to stop thinking, stop feeling and stop breathing.

*curls up in the corner and attemps to sleep through this life*

Strawberry.Bananas 05-01-2010 03:47 PM

My work got evacuated! ><

So I'm home and warm and Hi! :) x

MammaMia 05-01-2010 04:02 PM

*sends cuddles around everyone*

Wow Vicki, although I already knew that because of facebook lol. *cuddles* Ohh I need to tell you something if you can get on msn?? :D

I'm in a much better state today :D Plus it's snowing again, but oh so cold =(

Scarletdreamer 05-01-2010 04:25 PM

Good morning everyone... we got safely to our friend's house, have been here since Sunday afternoon, etc., etc. It's been really nice, a good getaway... haven't been doing super great mentally but physically I feel more fit than I have in quite awhile. (He's our personal trainer... so yeh, started yesterday and am pretty sore!!)

I'm so sorry you all are feeling bad... Kahlia, can you talk to your GP or your therapist, if you have one? because I'm worried about those dangerous thoughts...

*gently cuddles everyone, then pops out*

[Awakening] 05-01-2010 07:22 PM


going to see my son in a minute. he's sleeping so im gonna have to wake him up :/ Need to start painting my smile, don't know if i can be assed to.

i miss him but i dont really want to see him right now. does that make me a **** mum? i feel like it.

*cuddles to the ward*

risenfromperdition 05-01-2010 07:32 PM

am scared bout tomorrow =\
finding out bout whether this appeal got approved [so can stay at uni...], on top of first counseling sess, on top of class, and add food crap in there... greaaat lol

*cuddles jocelyn* nope, doesnt make you a sh*t mum, just makes you a human who's struggling alot right now <3

PoisonedApple 05-01-2010 07:42 PM


Originally Posted by HorseRidinBbe07 (Post 2074149)
*cuddles jocelyn* nope, doesnt make you a sh*t mum, just makes you a human who's struggling alot right now <3

i concur... i think it just means you don't want him to worry about you or see you unwell. i feel like that sometimes myself.

Scarletdreamer 05-01-2010 08:48 PM

And I agree as well... you're not a crappy mum, Jocelyn, you just want your son not to see you when you're struggling etc, as a_m said ^^. *gentle hugs*

My stomach hurts. :( It feels like I ate too much... although I'm pretty sure that I didn't. It was really weird - we went out to lunch and I was the only girl with three guys... lots of testosterone... heh. :-/

But my personal trainer (the one my husband & I are visiting right now) said that I can lose ALL of the fat that I don't need in a few months!! without having to resort to ED'd stuff. YEY!!! I'm still kind of skeptical but I sure hope he's right... because maybe then I will actually FEEL better about my body (which I currently hate...).

*cuddles everyone*

PoisonedApple 05-01-2010 09:59 PM

you'll have to tell me if that works out april. i'd like to try to lose some of my extra without falling back into an ed ish pattern...

*hugs and cuddles to all*

*heads off to curl up and fall apart in the corner with my plushie*

~phoenix~ 05-01-2010 11:14 PM

gah, this research...

I know it's voluntary, I kknow I'm CHOOSING to write it... but it brings back memories. I can't work out if that makes me the best person to write this, or the worst

MammaMia 06-01-2010 01:51 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*

Kahlia1981 06-01-2010 01:54 AM

*hugs everyone*

Went to the GP this morning and filled in the blanks for him. He was asking me whether I thought the lack of sleep, vomiting and so forth were related to a gastro bug or were psychological. I told him flat out that I didn't know what had started it, but it was possible that it was triggering psych stuff and then becoming recursive. He gave me a script for an antiemetic to help me out in the short term.

Meh. I didn't talk to him about the dangerous thoughts ... I don't know why, I just didn't. They are definitely still and there and very strong right at the moment. I guess that I'm hoping they will settle, against all prior experience. *sigh*

*retreats to a dark corner to try and get some sleep*

MammaMia 06-01-2010 01:55 AM

Well done for talking to your doctor, you really should have mentioned the dangerous houghts *cuddels*

Kahlia1981 06-01-2010 08:40 AM

*hugs Helen* - Thanks. I know I should have talked to him about them ... I really don't know why I didn't. I see him again next week - Tuesday I think - so we'll see if I can last until then.

[Awakening] 06-01-2010 10:57 AM

thanks guys. I crumbled when i left. he started crying saying he didn't want me to go, he wanted to come with me. I was strong but i crashed when i left. I'm only allowed supervised access atm, it makes me feel like a leppar, like a peado or something... and all because i couldnt hold it together when my son wasnt around. It's stings. I would never do anything to hurt him. ever.

I have to get up to see a solicitor now, i'm being taking to court on friday to get something legal saying ethan stays with his dad til im better. It's hard because i know it's what I need but they're talking about it like it's what Ethan needs - again, like he's in danger when he's alone with me.

Sorry i cant be suportive right now *hugs to everyone*

downnunder80 06-01-2010 01:09 PM

is it ok to just curl up and cry till im gone?

Kahlia1981 06-01-2010 02:17 PM

*hugs everyone*

Well it's after 11pm at night and I'm starting to get back into the "do I sleep, don't I sleep" pattern of thinking. Meh. I'll be okay. I'm just getting tired of not sleeping and not being able to sleep. Dangerous thoughts very active. *sigh* I'm so tired of dealing with them now. I'd dearly love a 24 hour hiatus.

*cuddles everyone then disappears into a dark corner with a teddy bear and a pillow to try and get some sleep*

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