*hugs everyone*

Emma, I am so so sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. It is difficult when it comes to funerals and loss. Just try and hang on in there, the pain will ease a bit with time.

Got pissy with my bf because I'm here actually unable to open the curtains and **** scared when I set foot outside my room (though he doesn't know this) and all he can think about is why I haven't made some headway on the essay that's due in next week.

I just want to disappear. I don't want to be like this.
I want to be normal. I want to be stable.

Nobody really cares again tonight. Thanks.

I think I might go to bed early, I'm tired, I feel like utter **** and obv nobody wants to listen :)

*checks in until things don't seem so scarey and overwhelming*

I'll prolly be here a few days...

whats up hells?? x

Just feeling increadibly ****. Don't feel like anyone except one or two people care. I'll hate myself for saying this, but sometimes I get the impression one person doesn't care. I know she does. I know she has her own life and troubles, hence the reason I've not really spoken to her much this last couple of weeks. But I need her tonight, I'm calling out for help pratically. She didn't reply to my text and when I called she didn't really answer properly. So I assumed she'd understand I'd want her to call me...and text her to ask if she could. Meh she's probs drunk which is fine cus I know she's incapable of using her phone lol by that point. I hate feelin so bloody upset/parnoid when this happens...and today it feels worse cus I met her. Well I think it's that >.<

I'm actually crying now. Espically as it's my last ever lesson with Jess tomorrow. I don't wanna have to do this :( Plus like....I will see her around between now & June. But it's not the same. She's helped me change for the better and get thru stuff.

I can't stop crying & gonna go to bed early. I didn't sleep so well.

Helen, hun if you are talking about me (which I presume you are ), I'm not ignoring you hun. I left for church group at 6.30 and got back about 20 minutes ago and I haven't had a call from you come through to my phone either. Hang on, take that back....well not the no call cos it's true I don't but I have just seen you text asking me to call. Remember what the psych said about it all being down to you trying to maintain a positive attitude? I know it's hard but drinking is not going to help with that is it hun? (and no I haven't opened the wine I bought so at this exact moment I am not being hypocritical :P )

Glad we've cleared it up over the phone. I feel like a complete ******** now heh. Love yooooo Em <3

I love writing in my thread (just wrong a long post). Even if people don't really reply hehe. I wish people weren't struggling so much. I hate seeing all of us struggle :(

Heya everyone :)

Anyone wanna chat?

I'm feeling kinda crap should be at my friends but i'm not ops i couldnt face it stupid cow i am eh oh well :( xx

Emma, you are not a stupid Cow. It is okay to not want to see your friend lowered into the ground. Only that is only her body. She is in your heart and will be for the rest of your life.

Helen, it is so easy for me to be insecure like you are.

I've been to one aa meeting today but omg I need a meeting! One tonight, one tomorrow morning. Work this weekend but that is okay. Getting stuff done before I leave on holiday in a week. When layers of fabric are too heavy for pin, scotch tape works great!

Yeah i know she will be but after tonight i bet she'll be really dissapointed in me :( cause i've self harmed and also thinking about od'ing :'( it just isn't my day i swear.

I'm going to be staying away for a few days, i don't want to but i know it's for the best :( as i'm really struggling and i just don't really wanna be around for a little while.

*hugs all round* Stay safe and strong everyone x x x

I just tried to go to sleep. I started crying & feel increadibly frightened. Helen wants her daddy :'( and other people.

xxxooo

I'm thinking about leaving the psych ward. It isn't the same anymore, I'm feeling rather left out at the moment. :(

*hugs Hells* why you feel left out hunny?

Because most of my posts in the past couple of weeks have been ignored :( Whether they're happy ones or sad :( I just really need support atm and hardly getting it from anyone in here like I used to. I try to support everyone too....but sometimes I just have no words.

Well if you will allow me to, I'd love to be a support for you.

Thanks Amanda, that means a lot <3

You are most welcome dear (sorry... I don't know your name)

My name is Helen :)