Today at uni I started to freak out a bit from stress and I haven't been able to deal with physical contact today. Told everyone I've been around that I don't want touching (e-hugs are cool though) and everyones been okay with it, even strangers on the bus

Went asda with my fiance to try to calm down, managed to walk around with him holding me until I paniced because I forgot what was on my list and I froze and he tried to pull me along and I completely freaked, now he's mad at me and I feel awful and I just want to give up on people

*curls up under her duvet and cries* I just want it over.

I'm still feeling really low. But have calmed down a little and improved. Going to bed shortly. So emotionally & physically worn out right now. Hoping college will help me cope with everything =/

cuddles all.
lia: i would never say that to you, and yes helen is bang on, i do need to see someone. the thing is i allready did a while back, and everytime i went in to see him, i would leave worse off. also i told him i wanted to kill myself,okay i didnt say how i would do it. he just did a 4 weeks with me and just said i have taken you as far a i can. problem was i still felt the same way. so im a little reluclent(sp) to go back as it didnt do an good the first time round.

*Hugs everyone* I'll be back with more advice tomorrow, but I am currently too tired to make sense. Want you all to know i'm thinking of you though, and someone cares about you :)

*Hugs Nicole* You are inspiring because you went 8 days without harming and you didn't take a tool with you yesterday . Thats inspiring to me :)

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Kat*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Helen*

Ugh , I really struggled to get out of bed late again , I wake up more tired than when I went to bed recently, Depression eh?

****sake this afternoon is going to suck. Argh

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Jill*
I'm so tired. And I'm not going to creative writing so I can catch up on my other work.... whooo... I just have to make it to Saturday.

I'm feeling bit better today. Cried in college and had to get taken out of class but I'm hanging in there. Have cheered up bit more, just trying to cling onto it!

*hugs ward*

*hugs everyone*

*hugs Lindsay* How you doing?

*hugs everyone* the ward is moved much faster again after a slow weekend :-)

*hugs helen* glad you are feeling a bit better! and yes you should try to cling to that better feeling.

*hugs felicia* sorry to hear that you have so much work. you can get it done though! I know it! Just stay focused and prioritize.

*hugs mark* I always wake up more tired then when i go to sleep... i think it is a depression thing... I am able to wake up more later in the day though. I hope that you do too.

*hugs lindsay* how r u?

*hugs jill* why is this afternoon going to suck? Hope that it doesn't.

*hugs lia, nicole, sarah, kahlia, kat, crimson, and everyone else*
I only did individuals for people that posted today as there have been 3 pages since i last signed in and didn't want to forget anyone. Don't think i left you out if i didnt reply, i did read everything.

I'm far too busy right now. People are telling me that i am stretching myself out too far and they are right... but what else am I supposed to do? I have to get uni work done, I have to cover for people at work b/c i feel bad leaving the paper lacking in designers, I have to finish these 20 essays for graduate school, and I have to work on the websites I am in charge of. There isnt anything I can drop really.

I may not be around much for the next day or two because I have several uni tests and papers due... just thought i'd let you guys know in case anyone worries if i don't really post.

*Hugs Jill*Whats the matter hun?

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Laura* GOOD LUCK with your papers and tests :(

*Hugs Lindsay*How are you ?

*hugs Laura* I'm sorry you have so much going on right now. Hope it settles down real soon.

Laura, I hope things calm down for you soon.

I'm ok, cold.

How are you, Mark?

I'm tired with no good reason , but the depression doesn't help and I am getting over a cold so that doesn't help me in the mornings plus the sedative effect of meds I take at night still sedate my a bit in the mornings , so yeah , a bit tired but trying to focus on every little step , like right now I'm thinking about my dinner then I'll focus on something else , I just can't deal with the "BIG picture" right now :S

Lindsay, it's cold here too brr!!! *hugs you and Mark*

I'm sorry I gave you my cold over the internet, Mark. I didn't mean too! :S
Taking things bit by bit is good, I think.

I am anxiety filled today, and I really don't know why.

I've been like this today & it sucks. Been actual shaking for most of it. Being so cold here hasn't really helped that either!!!

Aww Felicia I'm sure it wasn't your cold :P Internet colds are the worst though :)
^^^^ Yep I hope so :)