*cuddles everyone*

I have a ring from my best friend that I rarely take off. Only comes off when I'm washing/showering or when I'm at nursery :)

Right. Now I am just pissed off. Since the start of this new year, things have been getting worse and worse. The one person who was a comfort and who has a huge impact on my life is buggering off, my best mate has split up with her fiance, and she just deserves some happiness, it's not fair. I'm going to have the worst birthday. I have a drama exam on my birthday, and the person is leaving around then too, I don't even have that to look forward to anymore, now I've discovered a gem missing from the ring my auntie gave me :'( It's not the biggest deal out of the lot, but that along with my locket breaking and everything else, and it's meant to be the new year I wanted to good start but instead everything's falling apart and it's because I dared to actually say I was happyish. Now I am so far from it, and I'm afraid of what else is going to happen. So much has gone wrong in one week. What can a whole year do?

*cuddles Lia* it does seem an extension of last year all in all doesn't it?

*Squishes Helen* How are you hun?

Three of my best friends really need me right now, they all leaning on me, and I'm worried about them, but I'm breaking apart myself. I have an AS exam next week, but there's no way I can pass like this. I'm so worried about my drama practical and everything else and it seems like everything I didn't even know I had is being taken away from me bit by bit. It's not even been a fu*ki*g week of the new year and already I want out.

*Hugs Crimson*

*squishes Lia* Things will get better sweetheart. You've just had a bad week & that's okay. We all have them when we want things to go right. It is tough. Do you think you can cope with your best friends leaning on you? You need to look after number 1 sweetheart.

*squishes Mark* I'm good. Just all emotional. Haven't spoken to my best friend :'( I was asleep when she texted to say she could call :'( :'( Probably won't get to call me til tomorrow now. Been so excited all day dammit :(

*Hugs Helen* I really don't know. One of them is suicidal and the pressure is just building, but I can't do anything else becasue I'm the only one there for them. They matter more.

My head hurts and I'm tired.

Still Helen, at least you'll get to be excited all day tomorrow now as well :)

*cuddles ward* I wish I could offer more :(

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lia* I'm sorry you are having a shitty week but the next 51 weeks might be fan-bloody-tastic for you:) I hope so:)

*cuddles Lia* Number 1, you, is always the most important. If you don't look after yourself, you can't help anybody. Please be careful. I know I'm being a brat but don't want to be excited all day tomorrow just now, want it now :( But I should look at it the way you said :)

*cuddles Sarah* Hugs are always good :)

*cuddles Mark*

*Curls up*

*Hugs Nicole* how are you hun?

*hugs Nicole* What's wrong?

*Hugs Mark and Helen*
I went back to college today, I couldn't stay all day, I managed most of it, I only left 45 mins early, but I found today really hard. :(
Then on the way home...I threw my blades in the river. I know I should feel good about this, but honestly-I feel like i've lost the last thing that I had left. I wan't them back, but At the same time, I really don't.

Wow Nicole , throwing your blades away was such a brave step! you are amazing . I really beleive it's natural to want them back , you have relied on them for so long , but you WILL find other , more Healthy ways to deal *Squishes*

You have done SO well today Nicole. I know throwing your blades away is a big deal and very hard to so *cuddles* Am so so so proud xx

*Hugs Mark and Helen*
Thankyou guys :) But I really don't think I can manage without them, I want them back :(

You can manage Nicole. Even if it means you simply come in here instead, I believe in you and I know you can cope with out them. We're here for you *massive proud hugs*

You CAN manage. I know it doesn't feel like that right now. But you can. I threw mine away last year and haven't made a single cut since *hugs*

Nicole, you've motivated me. I'm off to chuck my blades down the drain. Back in a mo.