That's not true, I'm losing it and pretty fast. I need to update that thing under my username, since it's not true and take out my sig really...

I know it's hard to keep fighting when you feel like you're not getting anywhere and hopeless it can all feel but you can pull through...and we're all here to help.

*hugs*

Thanks Vicki sweetheart *cuddles* How are you doing anyway?

:)

Not exactly doing so well myself, unfortunately. I've just had enough.

*Cuddles everyone*
I have a really bad cough because of all the cigarettes, and yet I still went into my overdraft to buy another packet >.< Arrrrrrrrghhh. I just want to quit!
Good news though, I have dyed my hair pink :) xx

Ooooh!!! Pink hair!!! :D

:D It was purple, so now it's...uh...magenta I think is the word. I think that's what the dye was called.
Woooo!

Oh sweetie, I know how you feel.

*cuddles Arwen* Are you having any support with quitting cigs?? PINK HAIR

Wow I actually FAIL.

Its ok. I just try to say nice things and I hate when I get blasted. You're definitely forgiven.

Sorry internet has been f*cked and I only recently got it back. The cables on the street were not working so they disconnected them. The good thing is that they have fixed the excess noise on the upstream link so my internet has been speeded up by 2Mbps to 6Mbps =] so now my internet is much faster.

But They are being horrible....the Voices...I'll update in Serious because I don't want to moan too much here. Let's just say that tonight is either bleed night or drink-a-bottle-of-Smirnoff-triple-distilled-vodka night.

I CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF MY ****ING HEAD.

I quit his Goddamn guild and I can't stop ****ing thinking. Blaming myself for his stupid ****ing selfish actions. Asking why.

Why, why, why, ****ing why?!

He knows I would've given my life for him, he knows that I loved him with all of my being, he used to be so ****ing nice - why the hell wasn't I enough for him?! Why wasn't the ****ing life we used to talk about having together enough?! What, am I not smart enough? Pretty enough? Skinny enough? WHAT?! ****ING WHAT?!

And now we hardly talk.

We used to be so close...even before the romantic aspect of our friendship was added in, we trusted each other so much. I trusted him more than anyone else, and he trusted me more than anyone else. And then he shattered it, I feel dead inside, and want to die physically

Hey guys

*hugs* to all sorry its not more
but me and my ex other half are in reconcilliation talks just now but i am in mortal agony with my shoulder

think i have done soemthing reallt bad to it and the co codemal os making me soooo tired and spaced out i dont like this anymore!!!!!!!!!

Helen - I was seeing a nurse at my GP surgery, but she wasn't doing anything helpful. She just read my carbon monoxide levels and gave me leaflets. I saw her a couple of times and that's all she did, even when I said I was really finding it hard. My dad is trying to help me (he's an ex smoker and hates smoking now) but sometimes I get annoyed at how high and mighty he is about having quit cold-turkey that I don't want to listen to him. I'm being a bit fececious (sp?) I know. But hey, quitting smoking is bloody hard!!!

*Hugs Steel* I replied to your thread in serious hun.

*Hugs Dayna* (At least I think Damnation is Dayna - I got confused with the username change :P) I know how you feel sweets. I was so close and in love with my boyfriend, and he just suddenly snubbed me. It does leave you blaming yourself, but you absolutely musn't! He wasn't good enough for YOU. Not the other way around.

Awww Gil. Sorry your shoulder still hurts :( *Gives you a teddy to cheer you up*


*Shares out easter treats for everyone who pops by*
xxx

Goddamnit!

I want everything to be over!

I don't want to stress so much!

I have so many things going for me right now, so why do I not feel good enough? Why am I not pretty enough? Not thin enough? Not smart enough? Not quick enough? Why am I not ENOUGH!?!?!?!?!
Why do I want to die so much?
There is so much good stuff too!
But I dunno... maybe it's just the constant feeling of bad, bad, bad that's driving me to the edge.

I hate myself so much.

I'm glad that you're okay.... I'm not sure how I'm doing :-(

Yeah, is me. I try not to blame myself, but it's so difficult. I know really that I've done nothing wrong, that he was the manipulative, deceptive womanising piece of ****, but still...gah

(And I changed my avatar, signature etc to lose all reminders of him. The symbol in my old avatar, LabTechs...they're all related. LabTech035 was me, and because I've left the ****'s guild, LabTech035 is now retired)

im checking in again today, how i wish it where this easy for me where i am, *curled up and closed her eyes* its been over a month for me but i think im losing it.

Thank you so much Zowie.

Excuse me nurse can I have some PRN? I want to lie in bed in a sea of sedation and loss of reality.

*Huggles Steel*

I've had enough. I can't handle this anymore. Why the hell am I even bothering? Nobody can give me a real answer, because there isn't one. So tell me this, maybe? What the hell is the point?