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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Detour. Derail 06-05-2008 12:05 AM

I can smell him....its on my skin.....and its so comforting....And I can still feel his hands on my waist and back and neck etc.
I wish I could go back....I want...I want him ><

Pomegranate 06-05-2008 12:13 AM

*offers hugs for everyone* Stay strong guys, you are all such amazing people- I hope one day you all realise that. I'm sorry I can't reply to each of you, .....I just ...can't. Take care of your wonderful selves ok?

Susan, especially sorry, I don't normally break promises but I just can't reply now. I promise I will reply when I feel a bit stronger.

Helen, Ally, Alexx and Emma- Take care of yourselves ok? I am still thinking about you. Feel free to PM (or text if you have my number) me and I will reply when I can xxx

Katch 06-05-2008 12:14 AM

Thanks for filling me in - tough place to be for you right now - on the one hand it all feels so good - on the other really scary - I think you are scared of getting hurt and scared of relying on someone else to make you happy. Take it slowly and don't make it the be all and end all of your day to day life. see how things go - and be honest with yourself - we all know that when you first fall for someone you get blinded to anything that's not right - even when it's staring you in the face. Give it a fair chance and good luck - just take care.

Detour. Derail 06-05-2008 12:31 AM

My gosh....you're like...a...straight-forward-sense-talking-wonder-woman you know :blink:
You hit it on the head.
The scariest thing is....I'd give him the world....and I'm prepared to wait around for another 9 months or more...just in case...

All though...I'm very worried about him right now...he's stopped replying to my texts....and said he wanted to OD...
[no. be logical Alexx...hes probably gone to sleep. Its late. His mums in. Shes a nurse. She'd know. He'll be fine. You're drunk. You're over reacting. He'll be sat where he always is tomorrow...and you'll walk up...fighting to contain the grin...biding time...resisting temptations]

Katch 06-05-2008 12:39 AM

Don't wait too long, without getting anything back - I've done that - like being on a lead and let out so far until I am ready to run away - then suddenly the leads pulled tight again and back I go - only to go through it all again. And you know what it wasn't worth it in the end - Love and relationships should be a two way thing - supporting each other, being there for each other and feeling loved and needed by each other (sounds like a fairy tale but I'm sure it does exist!)
By the way I am sure he will be sitting in his usual place tomorrow.

Detour. Derail 06-05-2008 01:17 AM

Thankyou *hugs you tight*

blondiebear 06-05-2008 03:09 AM

Hi all. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm back to the circles under my eyes feeling like they go all the way to the corners of my mouth.

I've been doing odds and ends to get ready to get ready for the fumigation. I am truly amazed by how many different soaps and shampoos we have in the shower! I've also tossed more stuff from the bathroom into the trash. Cleaned out the fridge and freezer of bio hazards or even potential bio hazards. Have planned how to get this all bagged tomorrow so it doesn't get poisoned and contaminated. Husband said that tonight he will take houseplants, two cases of bottled water and a partial jug of distilled water to his office. Office is only four miles away. We have a lot of bottled water for earthquake safety supplies. Distilled water is for my iron and my husbands photo stuff.

Helen, feel free to destroy the photos if you want to. One of my friends taught me about an idea called a Karma Grenade. I also think of it as "As you sow, so shall you reap." It may not work immediately but it does work. I've seen it happen in the last couple of years.

The motel where we have reservations says it does have high speed internet, so y'all won't have to miss me.

Sorry I'm so dain bramaged tonight. I still talk a lot.

Hugs and ice cream all around!

MammaMia 06-05-2008 10:13 AM


I should have tried to finish some work yesterday but left it til now, hopefully can get it all done soon? I have to have it done by 12.30 really and I'm leaving in an hour or so as I have a meeting *panics*

lil-princess 06-05-2008 01:27 PM

Heya everyone, How ya all doing?

I thought i'd pop in before i go out, once again its to hot but if it means getting sun burnt then why not :)

Em i hope your ok hun *huge hugs*

If anyone wants to chat let me know either by on here or you can PM me its up to you :) i'll be around somewhere. * hugs all round* xx

Katey-lou 06-05-2008 01:28 PM

i just wanna dissapear again i cant concentrate on any uni work, i've given up on it 2day its doing my head in. i'ven upset loads of people once again because i didnt wan them interfearing, except theyr not theyr trying to help but i dont want help i wanna b left to do it let me get on with it it will stop people worrying!!!

AAARRRGGHHH just wanna scream i'm ment 2 b going to se my CPN this afternoon followed by my GP. i dont wanna go but if i dont go to my GP then he'll ring my CPN just to see if shes heard from me and then if she says i was ment 2 go o her aswell and didnt show up theyl all panick and that will cause more problems but if i do go, my CPN will kno sumits not right she alwasy does and my GP is ment 2 b putting my Meds up and i dont wanna take them i dont like them. i dont know wot to do can i not just hide for ever

MammaMia 06-05-2008 02:19 PM

*hugs Katey* Maybe you should go and just say you're stressed about uni work when she asks what is wrong?

Today is going okay really. Had my meeting at 12, so I'm not a Psychology student anymore mwahahahaha! Then when I was signing the form, my left hand was pretty exposed (am wearing very summery clothes) and she said what's happened to your hand? I said...this and that. She then goes I hope it's not what I think it is?? I said depends what you think it is....and of course she knew it was self harm...so I said yeah it is....and then she was saying a lot, kinda nice really isntead of sounding horrible and judgemental...she soudned like she kinda understood :) Sweet hehe.

Then I went to my first lesson of the day, that was alright. Managed to nearly get another piece of work done for my folder, just a few more sentances and I'm done hehe. Tina is putting FAR too much pressure on me and I'm going to speak out tomorrow if I have the guts. Yes, I appericate I have to have pressure put onto me with this work....but I'm still feeliing increadibly fragile. I may be happy again but still have things to deal with and I'd prefer less pressure as I'm still fragile as I've said, things take time to recover from.

MammaMia 06-05-2008 06:04 PM

Wooooooooooooooo =d

Hyper =d

Detour. Derail 06-05-2008 06:51 PM

Blehhhh....Alexx no likes the sun....it makes her poorly :-(

I have to go for a blood test because my mum thinks I might be anemic (sp?)
I think I'm actually gonna throw up...
*curls up*

~*forever_broken*~ 06-05-2008 07:33 PM

*sits in her corner, arms wrapped around her knees, and rocks back and forth ever so slightly*

Jetforce 06-05-2008 07:44 PM

*cuddles ally*

~*forever_broken*~ 06-05-2008 07:46 PM

Thanks Jeremy...

MammaMia 06-05-2008 08:21 PM

I think I scare myself =\

I've agreed today with my counsellor that sometime soon (might be friday) that I'd finally talk to her about the rape....cus when I told her.....I couldn't bare to open up....and now I feel it's time to get it all out.....I told her about the photos thing aswell lol.

zowie 06-05-2008 09:33 PM

Good for you agreeing to open up hunny! Well done, I hope talking about it helps.

I'm feeling a bit shitty. Nothing too bad, so why do I still want to OD?
Oh yeah, and I just had a major binge so now I can't eat for a few days.

Katch 06-05-2008 09:51 PM

Good for you Hells - we are with you every step of the way, wish I could go in straight after you and speak as well - not sure that day will ever come for me. So bloody good at hiding how I feel even from myself - makes me so angry - the only way I ever feel any better or even just a bit alive is when i hurt myself. Be proud of yourself and say what you can.

MammaMia 06-05-2008 10:29 PM

Zowie, thank you hunnie. Pleaseeeee don't OD :( I don't want you to come to any harm xxx

Katch *huggles* We're here for you too xxxx

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