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misskitty112 20-07-2010 07:14 AM


Originally Posted by taz35 (Post 2409451)
*hugs Felicia* Probably a stupid question, but rehearsal for what? :)

Not a stupid question at all. I'm in a Midsummer Night's Dream this summer =)

jonikd 20-07-2010 08:50 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm having a bit of a rough time but thinking of you all and hoping you're all doing OK.

Special hugs for Mark, Laura, Helen, Kahlia, April, Crimson, Hayley, Oliver, Julie...kind of my wee rocks here.


SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 08:58 AM

*comes out from hiding b/c JK is here*

*cuddles tight* I'm sorry that you are having a rough time hun. Here if you need.

*hugs jess, taz, heather, and felicia* hope you guys were all able to sleep okay

risenfromperdition 20-07-2010 09:05 AM

im clearly not sleeping as im talking to you :P


SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 09:07 AM

^ haha.. i didnt know u were still on ryl too... well i hope you get to sleep eventually :-P

risenfromperdition 20-07-2010 09:23 AM

:P lol.

*snuggles into corner with teddy and yawns*

frenchhorn 20-07-2010 11:27 AM

*hugs JK* nice to see you back, but sorry your having a rough time, anything you want to talk about?

*huges Heather* hope you manage to sleep ok, when you do go to bed, I'm very confused as to which time zone your in.

*hugs Jess*

*hugs laura*

*hugs Taz* I'm okish, not looking forward to going home, which involves 8 hours of travelling and then won't get to see Alex for 4 weeks.

*hugs Felicia* hope the rehearsals are going well

Doikers 20-07-2010 11:51 AM

Jill , Its good to get things off your chest sometimes *Hugs*

*Hugs JK* , sorry you are having a rough time :( , it's nice to see you though :)

*Hugs Crimson* You CAN fight those urges *Hugs tight*

April , I'm sorry you're pissed off at something :( and I hope the house selling person comes soon if they haven't already*Hugs*

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you won't see Alex for 4 weeks but you can celebrate when you do see him again ! plan a meal out or something , just a thought . sorry if it's a useless idea :S

*Group Hugs*

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 01:03 PM

In response to all that asked - it was just a thing on WoW... which led to me realizing that all around, I just don't feel "good enough," at anything... which in turn, led to an "amazing" crying spell. :-X "Amazing" because I hate hate HATE crying... and this was a pretty long burst of tears. Thankfully Jarrod was there to help comfort me... but still... not ever feeling "good enough" ... I'm sure some of you know how it feels, even if it's not true for you. :(

Anyway. Enough whinging/moaning about that. :-/

*cuddles all* How are you doing today? Sorry no individuals right now, am feeling a bit out of it this morning. Had more bad dreams/nightmares last night. :(

Doikers 20-07-2010 01:15 PM

April , Good luck with your NP today :) *Hugs*

Possible Sui trigger below







I Just met with my social worker , told him about my "plan" and he told me to think about how losing me would affect my parents / Sister / who ever would find me , and he went to make a Psych Dr Appoinment for me but I already have one and he is coming to it now , I guess it's nice to have support , It was so hard to tell him and now I have to tell Dr G too :S I feel numb still I took a diaz but it's a different type of numb hmmm sorry.

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 01:20 PM

SO proud of you, Mark!! Well done for talking with your SW about your suicide plan... that's so good. But, I AM proud of you, so very much. That had to take a lot of strength to talk with him about as I know you wanted to keep it a secret. Once again, WELL DONE, and keep us updated on how things are going (i.e., if you're going to be hospitalized, etc.). *huge cuddles*

*spies you & glomps* :D

Doikers 20-07-2010 01:29 PM


(i.e., if you're going to be hospitalized, etc.).
I hope not , :S. Thankyou April :) What you think of me matters tons to me :)
I have Accupuncture at 2pm and My Nurse ( Who already knows ) at 3pm at the same place .

I'm so Drained , Telling my SW really took it out of me .

MammaMia 20-07-2010 01:58 PM

*cuddles all*

Thank to those of you who replied to my last post, particularly Kahlia, I know how much you're struggling right now, so it meant a lot to me.

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 02:41 PM

*cuddles Hels* How are you doing this morning, love?

Aw Mark, thanks for saying that what I think of you matters a lot to you. :) That helped me a bit, believe it or not, helps me feel a bit more valued. *gentle hugs* I can believe that you're feeling kind of drained at the moment, I think I would be as well. But I do think that it's good that your SW is coming with you to your pdoc's. Kind of moral support, if that makes sense. :)

I'm so exhausted that my eyes are crossing... not good. Oh and Mark, I hope that my NP appt goes well also. I see her this afternoon... earlier than usual which may or may not be a good thing. :-/ I hope that she has some answers for some potential side effects - one of which being the nightmares. ARGH.

And I'm even more "ARGH-y" because WoW is down for maintenance for nearly 12 hours (on some of the servers on which I play) and one of the servers/realms on which I play is undergoing 24-hour maintenance!! Guhhh. I am not addicted to WoW but it is a VERY good distraction... so yeah. :-X

*hides in a hole for awhile and wonders if Lia is still hiding in my hole with me :P*

MammaMia 20-07-2010 03:47 PM

About the same *cuddles*

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 05:59 PM

*hugs Oliver, Taz, Mark and Laura* I went with the sleep it off method...
*cuddles JK back*

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you won't see Alex for 4 weeks but you can celebrate when you do see him again ! plan a meal out or something , just a thought . sorry if it's a useless idea :S
I wholeheartedly agree

*runs to cover front desk* I'll be back in later..

misskitty112 20-07-2010 07:22 PM

*hugs Mark* I'm so proud of you for telling your SW, I can imagine it drained you quite a bit though.

*hugs April* I hope you get an answer about the nightmares. Also, my fiance plays WoW... that is of no importance to this thread, but he gets all frustrated when the server goes down too.

*hugs to everyone else in the thread* I hope you all are doing ok...

I am exhausting myself. All I've done is get up, exercise, weigh, exercise, repeat... I shouldn't be doing this. I know it's not healthy. I know people worry. but I can't stop, it's either fall into the ED or SI. Currently, I'm doing both, but I guess people can live with the SI.
I'm looking into possibly doing residential, but the cost is such a big factor, but I know I have to do something... ya know?

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 07:43 PM

*hugs april* You are good enough at many things hun. I'm glad that jarrod was there for you last night. Did the crying help at all? They say crying can be a release... not always so sure that I agree with that because sometimes I feel worse afterwards... but I hope for you it helped a little bit considering you say that you almost never cry irl.

*hug mark* I am very proud of you for telling your SW about your plan too! That was a huge step. Good job.

*hugs crimson* glad that you managed to get some sleep. Hope you are feeling a bit better... if not *offers extra cuddles*

*hugs felicia* As you already know that what you are doing isn't healthy I wont say anything about that... but I doubt that people are just okay with the fact that you SI either.. ED stuff is just more visible I think so people comment on it more. I think a res program would be a good idea. Its good that you want the help though hun... I think wanting it is super important. If cost is a factor maybe you can somehow try to get some funding... something to look into?

*cuddles helen* I spy you!
Also, I'm sorry that you aren't feeling any better than yesterday. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. Always around if you need to talk hun.

*hugs taz, jess, steph, heather, JK, and everyone else*

I sent a monster email (I mean it was like 900 words lol) to my friend after he left, he asked me too b/c sometimes i write better than i speak. I explained a lot about what a normal day of thoughts in my head is like. I wish i could say that writing it out helped, but all the things that I was able to write about are things that are already very clear in that circle my head every day... so I already have processed them quite a bit. I know that someday I am going to have to go deeper into those things and say things aloud... but I guess i can't currently.
*sigh* I just want to SI again. I did that several times yesterday though so I should probably try to fight urges today.

Doikers 20-07-2010 08:08 PM

Met with my nurse , she said I woulden't be so low/numb/suicidal if I didn't care about acheiving what my peers have acheived before me, if I didn't want the same for my life , Makes sense , I think I need to give it some thought ,It took the walk home and my sitting thinking about what she said before it hit me , then I rang my parents and was close to tears for the first time in ages and I started shaking, well my hands did. She has given me these daily diarys where you rate each 3 hour section of your day and say what you did and also she gave me papers that ask me to fill in what I have acheived and what do I enjoy that I've stopped doing , I'm going to struggle with the "What did you acheive today?" one I think . Sorry I ramble on . I am meeting her again on Friday.

I'm going to parents from tommorow afternoon to Friday lunch timeish so apologies in advance if I miss replying to you :)

I am Triggered , I want to cut and my hands are still shaking a bit , * walks away mumbleing somthing about distracting myself*

Oh And thankyou to all the people who said they are proud of me , means a lot :)


but I doubt that people are just okay with the fact that you SI either.. ED stuff is just more visible I think so people comment on it more.
I Agree with Laura, Felicia

one_step_closer 20-07-2010 08:24 PM

I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

I don't think I can cope with much more of my work placement. No one else on my course has turned up for theirs this week so I think i'm due a day off, even though i've only been in two days. It's just so dull and it makes my mood lower and the men in my head noisier sometimes.

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