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Scarletdreamer 11-07-2010 12:49 AM

*cuddles Jess back*

updated r/v... if anyone cares. sometimes it feels like they don't... and they shouldn't, i'm worthless and stupid and annoying.

wolfos3d 11-07-2010 12:59 AM


Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2395539)
*cuddles Jess back*

updated r/v... if anyone cares. sometimes it feels like they don't... and they shouldn't, i'm worthless and stupid and annoying.

You are not any of those things. Hang in there, okay? We all have to, as hard as it is sometimes. And if I ever figure it out for myself I will write the manual just for you to read because you do NOT deserve it at all.

shadowedsoul 11-07-2010 01:11 AM

Hugs April, you are no way shape or form any of those things, no way.keep fighting Hun. Huggles

frenchhorn 11-07-2010 01:14 AM

*wonders in slowly*
I'm really sorry I havn't been posting for a while, been in here reading, but just havnt been upto posting, I'm really sorry, I feel really bad for abandoning you guys, sorry so many of you are not doing so good at the moment, remember you are brave, strong amazing people who can get through this and I mean that about every single one of you.

sorry there are no individual replies, I will do them when I can.

Bit messed up at the moment, had a bad flashback and also disosociated and my gf thinks I was also hallucinating and says I need to tell my doctor and counsellor about them. Thye normally don't get as bad as tonight because usually I cut to get myself out of them, but I wasn't doing that with my gf there, so it got really bad, I don't remember a lot of what happened, but she took me for a walk outside and eventually it went away, but then she had to go to bed and I ended up cutting because I was scared it would come back because every other time it has happened I always cut.
Feel pathetic, and am scared to shut my eyes in case they come back and am listening to music so I can't hear them if they come back.

*goes around giving everyone cuddles, or waves at those who don't like cuddles, introduces himself to anyone who is new then hides in a corner*

SoMuchMore 11-07-2010 01:28 AM

*hugs oliver* i'm sorry to hear about the flashback.. that doesnt sound pleasant at all. You are not pathetic in the least.

*hugs april* you are definitely not useless.

*hugs lia* you don't have to be sorry about yesterday. It was good to get that out I think. Locking one's emotions up doesn't usually do much good. Btw, you are great in the ward, always replying to people and whatnot!

*hugs jess* I'm sorry your insomnia is so bad. Glad to hear you had a nice time while having your arms out. Maybe keep doing things like that, sometimes it really is the little things.

*hugs hayley, kahlia, jill, mark, helen, and everyone else*

sorry i didnt reply individually to everyone. keep running out of steam. I'm reading though, just having a hard time living and feeling like my replies would be **** anyway.
*goes away*

MammaMia 11-07-2010 01:30 AM

*hugs everyone else*

Really struggling.
Sorry for being so useless to all and no individual replies.

Scarletdreamer 11-07-2010 02:00 AM

Hels, sweetie, you're not useless. Not at all. *cuddles* What's up??

Laura, I'm sure your replies wouldn't be **** but if you need to focus on just living and making it through your daily life that's fine... sometimes it can be such a struggle - glad to hear that you're still reading though. :) Update us when you can on how you're doing. ♥

Sorry for my last post... :-S ...but thanks to all who replied to it.

wildly insane 11-07-2010 02:08 AM

*hugs everybody* would love to do individual replies but sorry, I'm pathetic and useless. sorry I haven't been around for a few days, I've been reading but unable to respond - sorry again.

I'm off to the Emirates tomorrow for my brother's wedding lots of time with my family, not much time to myself, and huge social occasions where I know hardly anybody. I'm really looking forward to it, but it's not going to be easy and with my urges getting worse and worse, I just have to keep control, but it is my only brother's wedding and it is exciting.

But yeah sorry cos again I wont be around much over the next fortnight and although that probably doesn't mean much to most I do like to offer my support and to say keep fighting because you deserve to be happy and honestly there is no way of knowing what is around the next corner, hope is an amazing thing and we fight because it is still there in all of us even when we are despairing most, because we have not yet given up, please keep fighting, because you are worth it.

I want to cut :(

Scarletdreamer 11-07-2010 02:25 AM

Do try & enjoy yourself, Hannah, love. :) I'm sorry that you feel useless etc., a lot of us do I think, and it's not true for any of us. Is there any particular reason you want to cut?? Sorry for the crap reply... *cuddles gently*

Kahlia1981 11-07-2010 02:31 AM

*huggles all*

really stressed/anxious at the moment. stupid v8s are two/three blocks away. can't relax. freaking out all the time. my housemate just painted (first coat) where the broken dryer was and i helped but i feel like poop. guess that's cause that's what i am. just a broken doll.

SoMuchMore 11-07-2010 02:31 AM

*cuddles helen* i'm sorry your struggling so much tonight. PM me if you need/want to.

*hugs april* you don't need to be sorry. Its okay

*hugs hannah* its okay that you haven't been around. We understand. I've missed seeing you around though. Have fun at the wedding. Hope that the urges dont get too bad.

*cuddles kahlia* you are not "poop" or worthless/useless. Im sorry that the anxiety isnt getting any better. Wish there was something we/I could do to help.

I'm sorry to hear that so many of us are struggling right now. Hang in there. We can make it through all of this.

SoMuchMore 11-07-2010 07:52 AM

hm.. i feel like i killed the conversation earlier in here. i'm sorry.

irrational i know... but feeling like its my fault anyway.

xxjuliexx 11-07-2010 08:15 AM

*curls up in a corner* daddy hate me:notsure: :crying: :crying: :crying: :Emoticon(14): :Emoticon(14):
i just wanna go eat bad food :burger: :burger:

risenfromperdition 11-07-2010 08:37 AM

NONE of you are useless. kthx :P
... saaays me :P

oliver- sorry bout the flashback- that sounds horrid =[ your girlfriend sounds really supportive tho :)

im a bit eugh atm, but will try to do more ind replies tomorrow

dr who's on in 20 =]

risenfromperdition 11-07-2010 08:38 AM

*leaves hugs for julie if want <3*
if he hates you then hes silly cuz you're smart and sweet and caring and strong :)

wolfos3d 11-07-2010 10:23 AM

Ugh. I managed to make it till about 2PM before I fell asleep. I've now had three hours sleep, wasted my last afternoon off, and probably won't sleep again until late tonight if I do sleep. I'm so triggered now too. :( I really hate being me.

*hugs for everyone and extra hugs for Oliver* Flashbacks are in no way enjoyable. :( Hope you're okay.

shadowedsoul 11-07-2010 10:29 AM

Feal really crapy this morning, still have stuiped thoughts running through my head. Hmm the more I try not to think about these thoughts the more I want to act on them. Urgh today going to be a long day.

CrazyHayley 11-07-2010 10:52 AM

oh it looks like its been a really crummy night (well day time for some of you) since I was last on here. I'm doing a quick post before the tramadol kicks in properly and I go off to lala land again.

Not enough brain power to do individual replies, but I'm thinking that we should ban the words pathetic and useless like we have banned the word fine. Cos we all say them and I'm sure that as much as we may feel them at times, they are not true, so saying them and reading them only reaffirms our false beliefs. So if we are banned from using them in here then perhaps we'll start to feel a little better, that, or we'll be using a theasaurus (spelling?!) lost more! lol

Oh and Kahlia thanks for the warning on tramadol. I have depression, PMDD and PTSD, oh and an ED and OCD as my mental health problems but I wouldn't class them as a psychiatric illness, not like bipolar or something like that. So I should be fine. I hope so as I was on it for 5years before, though apparently you shouldn't be on it for longer than 6months at a time due to the damage it can cause your kidneys, but my old doctors were useless for things like that, my latest GP's seem more clued up, at least I hope so!

Right time for me to have a fag and coffee whilst I'm still able to figure out how to do it. Then let reggie out so he can cause havoc whilst I'm in lala land. hmmm.....

Thinking of you all and hoping we all have at least a few hours in our day where things improve for us.

wildly insane 11-07-2010 11:11 AM

*hugs April* thanks hun :) there isn't a reason really, it just builds up and gets more and more difficult to fight and I just hold off until I can't be bothered to fight it any more.

*hugs Laura* thanks sweetie, you hang in there too, your replies aren't ****, I really appreciate them

*hugs Julie* please don't let your dad get to you, you're worth so much more than that

*hugs Heather* hope you feel better today

*hugs Jess* hope the rest of your day went okay and you didn't have any trouble getting to sleep

*hugs Jill* those thoughts are horrible, please try and fight them

*hugs hayley* yay good to see you, have you posted photos of Reggie anywhere cos he sounds awesome. And yes we probably should ban useless and pathetic although sometimes it feels better just to be able to say that even though not true or productive, it is how we are feeling.

*hugs Kahlia* sorry to hear things are so tough for you right now, hang in there, keep taking deep breathes, you can get through this, honest you can

*hugs Mark**hugs Oliver**hugs JK**hugs Luke**hugs Elizabeth**hugs Nicole**hugs Lia**hugs Crimson**hugs Helen**hugs Lindsay*

*hugs anyone else I've forgotten, so sorry if I have :( *

right I have to go take my dad shopping for some light summer trousers as mum is scared he wont be allowed anywhere in the evening if he walks around in shorts in Dubai. she really is rather melodramatic LOL

then flying, I'm sure I'll have a great time, just wont always be easy :) take care peeps and stay safe, leaves a big pot of tea and biccies

Doikers 11-07-2010 11:42 AM

Ohhh Many posts since last night , I also think we should ban the words "Pathetic" and "Useless" although I probably use them as much as anyone.
Sorry for lack of individual replies , I will try and reply to posts throughout the day. I Have Depression and OCD and do count them as Mental illnesses Hayley , moreso the Depression , it's called "Chronic Depression" and can get quite severe , sorry to waffle on .
*Go's off to read April R/V thread*

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