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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 23-05-2010 07:38 PM

*cuddles JK* aw im sorry that reality is hitting hard again... I wish that it wasn't. Hope that you are managing to stay safe though.

*hugs kat* you don't need to be sorry hun. How r u doing?

*hugs lindsay* well done!

*hugs helen* How's it going today?

*hugs mark* How is the weekend going?

*hugs april* My dad wanted me to come home sooner than planned b/c he didnt like that i was only coming home for a week. I guess he missed me or something, which is nice.. i just hate being here.. It sends me backwards, makes me feel like i did back a few years ago. Anyway.. How r u doing today hun?

OH AND I SPY YOU! :-)

*hugs kahlia* It sounds like things are really stressful for you right now. I hope that you manage to stay safe from those urges. Oh and Thanks about my signature! I think its very appropriate to where i am at the moment, always hanging on for people.

*hugs emma* Hope that you are okay. Feel free to talk in here if you need to.

*hugs hannah* glad that you slept okay. Hope that you are able to get things done today!

*hugs heather* you are not a fail at life hun. Im sorry that your parents are giving you a hard time about things, that's awful. I hate it when they do that. That was a good tip about the beach that hannah gave tho, about the sarongs. I love the beach, but i get really self conscious there too.

*hugs julie* Are you feeling any better? I hope so.
*waves to owen*

*hugs hayley* sorry to hear about your phone. Hope that your day is going okay/good/fantastic lol.

Sorry if i missed anyone.. *sets out a basket of cuddles - just in case*

Scarletdreamer 23-05-2010 08:31 PM

updated r/v... am not doing well. at all.

pathetic.

i don't know why the hell i've been SO angry lately!!! :crying:

Doikers 23-05-2010 08:40 PM

*Hugs fellow wardmates*
It gone quite well this weekend at my parents , I haven't cut all weekend and I DID bring a tool so go me!

I'm going back to my flat when my Dad goes to work tomorrow morning, he works in the town I live so , convineient (spelling?)
I've been a bit frustrated , lack of privacy issues , even if I shut myself away in my room people come :S so I'm sat on the laptop at the table in the living/dining area with everyone around the T.V. and baby and eating . Hidong in plain sight sort of , I'd be mortified if they all knew I was on a S.I. website talking about S.I...... hmm

Louise 23-05-2010 08:49 PM

Hi everyone

SoMuchMore 23-05-2010 08:53 PM

*crosses arms at April* NOT pathetic! *cuddles gently*

*hugs mark* YAY! great job on not SI-ing all weekend! *high fives*
Lack of privacy issues are so frustrating. Hope that you are able to get some (But not too much) alone time soon!

*hugs louise - if its okay* Hi! how r u doing today?

Louise 23-05-2010 08:57 PM

*hugs Laura* Yes I like hugs, I am so so feeling low. How are you?

*hugs mark* well done on not self harming all weekend.

Scarletdreamer 23-05-2010 08:59 PM

*hugs Mark and Laura* Good job on you, Mark, for not SI'ing over the weekend!! Am proud of you too. :)

Laura, I feel pathetic. I really do. My r/v explains all and I know that you read it... thanks... but... I don't know. I really don't. I don't even know what to say. :'(

*hugs Louise* Aw, I'm sorry that you're feeling low. Anything we can do to help??

I just want to curl up into a ball in a dark hole and NEVER come out. :'(

Doikers 23-05-2010 09:01 PM

*Hugs Laura and Louise*
Well as for the privacy , when I'm back at my flat tomorrow I'll be alone (I live alone) but I have a couple of appointments one I go too (Volunteering buero , 2nd appointment ,I'm anxious) and in the afternoon my SW is coming.

Doikers 23-05-2010 09:02 PM

*HUGS APRIL*

Scarletdreamer 23-05-2010 09:03 PM

*curls up next to Mark & cries, since she can't cry IRL*

:'(

Louise 23-05-2010 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2312804)
*hugs Louise* Aw, I'm sorry that you're feeling low. Anything we can do to help??

I just want to curl up into a ball in a dark hole and NEVER come out. :'(

I replyed the same time as you :) Not coping well with flashback

*hugs april*

SoMuchMore 23-05-2010 09:20 PM

*hugs april* I sent you a PM. I wont be redundant repeating everything here but you are an amazing person!

*hugs mark* sounds like you have at least a few plans. Hopefully you wont get too anxious about them.

*hugs louise* flashbacks are awful :-( I'm sorry you are feeling so low.

I am feeling a lot of things right now, so i dont know how i am really. Depends on the moment i guess. I need to start my graduate exam prep course but im not feeling it. I hate standardized tests.

Scarletdreamer 23-05-2010 10:14 PM

updated r/v again... :'(

did a few surveys - entered them into survey monkey, i mean - and am extra tired right now. really don't want to go to work tomorrow. :'(

my birthday's coming up. i don't want it to come. i don't know why. i just don't. i'm so sick of myself.

:crying:

katnovia 23-05-2010 10:27 PM

*cuddles april* I got into trouble with the police yesterday, and i can't believe I let it get that far. My anger got the better of me, and I ended up recieving a police caution for domestic assault :( :S.
I'm so sorry you're having a tough time of things. I wish I could say something magical. *cuddles* I'm gonna read your RV in a bit. *cuddles more*

*hugs laura* I think I do need to be sorry, I did a pretty stupid thing, so now I'm not doing great. Feeling very guilty and ashamed, and kinda silly. Still, I managed not to cut..which was impressive given that hubby called out his collegues because I had a kitchen knife and had threatened to slash the care tyres..

Congrats on a good SI-free weekend mark *celebratory cuddle* thats really good! well done.

Hi louise, not sure we've met properly, I'm Kat *safe huggles* flashbacks absolutely suck, and i'm sorry you're struggling with 'em at the moment.

EDIT: I Spy A Julie

Doikers 23-05-2010 10:32 PM

*hugs April*
*hugs Louise*
*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Kat* thanks for the celebratory cuddle!!:-)

EDIT:- Sorry I missed this out , just to say that I'm really sorry that so many of us are feeling ...well crap to come straight to the point and although I am BAD at advice I am always willing to listen and will try my best to help you guys . and this is the first time I have said this ,and probably won't get around to answering until tomorrow afternoon UK time but you guys can always PM anytime k?

risenfromperdition 23-05-2010 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 2312014)
*hugs Heather* ooh I hate that with parents. A vital piece of clothing for the beach is a sarong - take 2 if you have them, one as a skirt and one round your shoulders, If you want to keep a shirt on or something just say you don't want to get burnt. I know too many good looking uber slim people at the beach - ugh. I love the beach, especially in winter when it's empty and the waves are crashing, try and ignore the people and enjoy the beauty. Don't know what to say about your parents though, they sound highly insensitive, my mum tells me to watch my weight, luckily I have a brother who tells me not to listen to her. Losing weight healthily is very difficult and also takes time, 2 pounds a week is ridiculous, please don't. If YOU really want to and I mean YOU it may be worth going to a nutritionist or dietician and getting a plan, which makes it easier to keep to and keeps it healthy as these things get so easily out of control and we don't want that at all.

hmm... thanks
<3

risenfromperdition 23-05-2010 10:39 PM

i dont wanna do it healthily =\

xxjuliexx 23-05-2010 10:45 PM

*snuggles heather* i think ur beautiful

katnovia 23-05-2010 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2313011)
*Hugs Kat* thanks for the celebratory cuddle!!:-)

EDIT:- Sorry I missed this out , just to say that I'm really sorry that so many of us are feeling ...well crap to come straight to the point and although I am BAD at advice I am always willing to listen and will try my best to help you guys . and this is the first time I have said this ,and probably won't get around to answering until tomorrow afternoon UK time but you guys can always PM anytime k?

Any excuse for a cuddle! :) That's a really nice thought and offer hun, and I want you to know that my PM box is open to you too.

EDIT: apologies for the multipost - don't know what happened there!

katnovia 23-05-2010 11:05 PM

Righties, I'm going to have to go bed, because I've got to be on my own in the morning, and i'm still a bit fragile after everything that happened yesterday. I'm not proud of myself for getting a caution, and in a way I'm kinda hurt that my hubby decided that it was a good course of action. I'm not sure I've forgiven him yet, and my heart and mind are going all over the place. I've had 4 mini anxiety attacks today.. and I've only ever had 6 mini attacks like this in my entire life.

Sleep deprivation on top of that wouldn't be a good idea.

But I wanna stay and talk, but as there's no one here I guess I can just leave it. *shrugs* it's not as if it matters really. I'm just another invisible person on a keyboard. :(

I'm hurting, and I'm ****, complete and utter ****. Pathetic, worthless, stupid, ****..

The following content has been hidden - Reason : TRIGGERS FOR SI SUICIDE

*TRIGGER WARNING: SI/SUICIDE*

I'm a peice of worthless ****, and I don't want to continue like this anymore. I just want the ground to open up and swallow me whole, because I'm tired of fighting, and I'm tired of struggling. I can't do this. I can't keep smiling and pretending that it is all ok. I can't continue to watch everything I say and do around people. I just want to be free and right now death feels like the only way out. Sorry, I'm pathetic I know. Getting suicidal over a police caution, but it's really bothered me. really f***ing badly and I don't know how to handle it because I'm not allowed to cut any more so I have no release and I just want to end it all. I do. I don't want to hurt any more. Please don't make me hurt anymore.


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