I'm giving her one final chance, she's already had too many. I must be a fool :'( Why isn't leaving simple :'( :'( :'(

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs April* you are so a nice person ! And it means tons to me that you are proud of me :)

*cuddles Hels* I'm sorry you're feeling so awful... is there anything I can do to help?? (probably not as usual but worth asking anyhow!!) *holds you gently*

*cuddles Mark* I'm glad that it means a lot that I'm proud of you. :) And I am NOT a nice person, I may come across as one but apparently my wrath is to be feared... heh. :'( And she still hasn't responded to my last text............ :crying: I feel so damn FULL OF FAIL!!!!!! :'(

Make today end or re-start but certain things don't happen? :'( :'(

JMy best friend thinks my body's going into shock or somethng..

*holds Hels some more* I wish I could do more... :(

I came home from work because I'm so sick. There's a "germophobe" there which I can't blame as she has a very young child (dunno how young, must be pretty young yet though, not in school). I feel "shitastic" as I told Jarrod when I walked in the door... :'( Still have to get stuff done but at least I'm at home...

:'(

*holds april* hope you feel better soon

*cuddles* And I hope that you feel better soon, too. :( Sorry, I didn't mean for that post to be all about me...

It's okay sweetie, I would make more of my posts about myself too, but I can't talk for crying so much atm.

I really miss my daughter :(

Thanks for the hugs guys, hmm it's hard to explain I was
off for a week from work.went to vist some freinds had a
brilliant time,it's was crazy drinking taking drugs just
having a blast. Now I'm home and I feel trapped and feel
like I'm suffocating,noithing feels worth it I'm just going
throught the actions not really giving a sh*t.if that makes
sence at all.I just want to dissapear of back there,don't
want to deal with this crap anymore.

*Hugs Shadowedsoul*

i'm not sure... i think it's 3 hrs ahead of me... will check later and see... sorry i wasn't there much this weekend.

wreak or wreck? either way no. i have mine litter box trained and i change their boxes every week. they're caged and only have out time when in areas they can't get into stuff that could hurt em. etc etc. i'm not up for telling more right now but chinchillaclub has a good forum with a lot of nice people with lots of exp with chins.

Houdini died this weekend. He'd been eating well and gaining good, filling out his frame better and i fed him his extra at 430 am then when i went out at 10 to get him he was gone. Explained it to the kids, G took it the worst. She cried for a long time. A's first answer to burying him was 'we can't leave him outside!' then asking when he'll wake up for her to play with him... she's 3 and he fit in one of her hands. she loved him most because "he's my size". We buried him and G wrote him a memorial on a <3 shaped paper and buried it with him. The other two are good though.

*sigh* I feel like **** today. I wanna just lay down and die. Gotta run down to cover the front desk. Oh yay... I think the sarcasm is palpable.

*edit* sorry so short... too many pages since i was here last

*goes around the ward catching up with everyone, giving appropriate huggles/waves/snacks/tuck-up in beds type things depending on the wardies needs!*

Wow, so much can happen in just under 36hours! So forgive me for not doing individual replies, but thanks to those who sent me hugs/cuddles/messages etc.

Anyhoo, luckily yesterday wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be, thank goodness, and so feeling slightly less stressed out but drained from it all, I decided it would be good for me to go to my Spiritualist church service and leave Eoghan at the pub! Church was uplifting and I get a message which was very positive, so it really helped.

I've been busy today, with a doctors appointment for a medication review - which I swear is just a waste of time - they asked me if I was still taking the same meds.."yes"...are you happy on them (and not as in asking if I'm emotionally happy if you get my meaning) ..."yes" ....there you go, I'll see you in another 6months. Oh well. Then I had to go and get my meds. I've cleaned my kitchen today and now I'm all caught up here and need to get my arse in gear as its Development circle at my spiritualist church tonight. I'm hoping for no tears again as I'm 'sane' but its been such an emotional past few days that I'm not too sure how it'll go..hey ho...

If I'm not back in here tonight, I'll make sure I log on in the morning to join in the party for Kahlia's 21month free milestone. Oly a few more hours to go for you Kahlia! yay!

*cuddles everyone*

I am totally flat today after i a very bad night. I'll catch up with individual replies later. Hope everyone is at least okay-ish.

*yawns and curls up* i gotta get up i have to go to aqua robics *yawns* have to get up

*Hugs Crimson* I'm sorry Houdini died :(

*Hugs Hayley*Sounds like your Dr appointment was a waste of time . I hate that :S

*Hugs Laura*mmm I'm sorry you're so flat , look after yourself ok.

My Social worker DID come today , 3rd time lucky , he is coming with me on Thursday to my benefits medical I HAVE to have , it's to find out who's cheating the system and claiming benefits their not entitled too . I am Bricking it :S so anxious , and feel pre-judged , like someone is saying I'm conning the benfits grrr
My 2nd appointment with the volunteer buero went ok , her name is Anne , she is Super-nice and I was so anxious I was shaking and telling her all details of my life heh what I did on the weekend etc. When I get anxious I chatter , I hate uncomfy silences hmmm

*Hugs Julie * Hi how are you ?

*hides down a hole and cries*

Why? Why don't i have someone that can tell me what really happened? Why did I have to remember?

Emma, sweet, what's up? *holds you gently and offers you some chamomile tea to help calm you* We're here if you want to talk...

Crimson, sorry Houdini died. :( That's so sad. A pet dying, especially a baby and one that you've taken such good care of, can be so painful. *cuddles* And dunno if you read, but my pally on Runetotem is level 20 now.

*cuddles Mark* I'm sorry you got so nervous with your volunteer bureau worker, but at least the appt went well and your SW showed up to!! Third time's lucky indeed... lol. How are you feeling now?

*cuddles Julie and Laura*

*cuddles/waves to everyone else*

I'm so beat. I am utterly exhausted and feel so bad and don't want to have to go in to work tomorrow, I have 35 surveys yet to enter and I'm so ****ing tired that I don't know I'll be able to do them or not. I really WANT today to count as a day of work but all I want to do is sleep. :'(

So damn over this. All of it. :'(

How am I feeling ?, I took off my shirt (Wearing a T-shirt) and my arms are all exposed , I SO want to add scars , the urges are building :( looking at my own arms is triggering me for crying out loud :( sorry

*cuddles Emma gently* I'm sorry, hon. I wish I knew something that would help... :(

Mark, love, don't cut if you can help it, you've gone a couple of days without... maybe put your shirt back on and then drink something cold or sit in front of a fan or something if you're really warm? I understand your own arms triggering you though, I'm triggered by mine and also by something that someone said a little while ago... :-S I really want to cut and know that I can get away with it when Jarrod's home because I did yesterday. :'( *holds both your hands so neither of us can cut* :)

*hides*