Come hide in here hun.

I'm hiding :P

Again, i'm ready to be done and curl up for the day before 6pm. I'm sitting here in my sleep shirt already. And there's at least a couple more hours of light yet. Only compared to you in the UK, I'm enough closer to the equator that it gets dark earlier.

The client I had to postpone yesterday came today. That will be enough to get us 600 miles worth of gasoline on our next trip. I'll be getting underpaid but i'm still getting paid. Nothing complicated either. I need to get thread for the project so when I'm at the little fabric store, can ask about a job maybe.

I hate summer. For me it is the worst time of the year. Lonliest. Everyone else is out playing and I'm alone in my mental illnesses.

1ofmany, you can turn to us.

*brings in a cold twelve pack of raspberry diet rite fizzy drink/soda pop and offers it around as she joins the group in hiding*

*hugs Susan lots & lots*

I'm so sucidical.
Pfffft nobody really cares anymore.
I don't want them to die and I don't 100% want to die either.
I'm sorry you two :(

No need to be sorry Helen. I care.
*cuddles Helen*

*cuddles*

Thanks for the quick chat in chat this morning.
I better get someeep, its 6am.
I'm wide awake tho and in painnnnnnnn still :(

Checking In
 

I don't know exactly how to start this. I do like the idea of a virtual Psych ward. I did spend some time in one in High school, unfortunately it didn't do much for me, I could never get my head to let go of my mask and actually accept help instead of just acting like I was fine.

I don't know I guess I just need someone to check in on my regularly, I don't have that right now. I haven't cut in 2 years, but that is not because of me, it is because i have been under constant watch of my fiancee and my constant fear to disappoint him by cutting again. But he is away from me, and will be for a while, so not only am I alone here, I have no one checking on me, keeping me from cutting again, I know in my head that if I cut again, no one will know, and the only thing keeping me from doing it is the knowledge that I can't say I've been without it for 2 years anymore, and that things will go downhill again, but I don't know how much longer that feeling will be able to fend off all the urges I have. The fact that he is gone tells me yet again that I am weak, and I have a logn way to go before I am completely better. I take confort in the act that he is my strength and I will be with him te rest of my life, but I also don't want him to be my excuse forever, but that is the future, right now I have to get through these next few months, and if I can check in here and maybe if some would hound me, I could do it. Just maybe.
~Sparky

^ 2 years is amazing hun, whatever the reason. If you have urges come on here, everyone's really nice and someone will always give advice/hugs or whatever you're after. So hey and welcome to the psych ward =)

------------------------------

Self centered crap begins now. I just can't get out of my head that I failed, and maybe can't go back to uni. And things happened yesterday and I did nothing to help...I feel totally ****ing useless, and I'm not SI free anymore...what's the point?

*cuddles Ku*

I think i failed my exams too - i feel totally crap also :-(

But u never know until the results come on..so hang in there and fingers crossed u pass ....tc Ku :-)

*cuddles* there's a chance you didn't though - hold onto that.

I got my results hun. Two fails out of three, for the whole modules, coursework too. Just...ergh.

But u can repeat them eh?

Will u be expelled from uni or something for having 2/3 fails?? but i hope u don't have to be expelled from uni :-(

*hugs everyone that needs them* stupid meds arent working someone please shoot me

*tosses chocolate brownies at shadowed seraph*
*offers brownies all around*

*grabs her blanket and goes to curl up for more sleep*

gosh I know that feeling hun. But I'm not shooting. *huge hugs* we're here if you want to talk hun.
susan hun, you ok?
I can resit, but only then I'll only get 40% - the pass mark. I dunno...I just feel useless.

*eats a chocolate brownie* yummy. Ku your not useless i messed up some of my exams when i took them and had to get the passmark *hugs* im just so f***ed up at the moment my others are screaming at me and i'm so down :(

I'm just frustrated with a couple of situations. One of them involves anger, which triggers me. The other is being under employed. I've been thinking about next time i'm at the fabric store, asking if they need some help a couple of mornings a week.
I have a Masters Degree in Geography. And my career consists of asking "Did you get the thread for this sewing project you want me to do?" and maybe "do you want thread with that."
I really am tired and going back to sleep for a while. It is the weekend, i'm allowed.

^ yep, definitely allowed. Have a nice sleep =)
I can't imagine how annoying that is hun, is there nothing you can do that's a bit more related to your masters?

Quite scared I am going to my martial arts class later and friends who i got wound up with and got wound up with me are going to be there and i havent really spoken to some of them for few days.

Also i have about 25min drive there and if there are road rage people that will make me panic even more :(
Sorry just venting to see if it helps.

*hugs everyone*

I'm still worried sick :(

Crap just been reading some of this and remebered i get my results this week...great just what i need to find out i am failing in somthing else.

Wishing everyone else who is getting their results soon luck!

I'm still waiting for mine *cries* Have to wait until 14th Aug :(