*Hugs Crimson* GO you!! I hope you can find someone suitable to do your essay in front of.

*Hugs April * I'll go off and read your R/V thread in a bit.EDIT :- Roots for you in advance of Sunday *ROOT*

*Group Hugs*

*Hugs and sits with Nicole*

*Hugs Kahlia* I hope you hear from your pdoc soon.

*Hugs Jessica* 3 weeks is a big acheivment and your little blip doesn't make it any smaller

*hugs mark* im so confused! my head keeps changing its mind! nothings working out :(

*Enormous hugs for Nicole*

*hides*

Hmm think today's going to be one of those days. Kind of struggling today. (shrugs shoulders)

*hugs* i think it is for everyone, we all seem to have moods together in here, we can have a month where everyones happy and feeling good, and then a month where everyones triggerd and suicidal and generally just feeling crap :(

I'm going for a quick walk NOW or I won't get out of my flat at all today but I'll be back soon *Peeved that I can't comment on youtube for some reason* I Still feel NUMB in all Caps and thats it , I had hope I'd sleep it away but it didn't work Grr
*Hugs Jill*

I gave up my blades.

:-S

I know intellectually this is a good thing, & something to celebrate... but... I'm scared to do without them when Jarrod goes off to basic. *date yet undetermined*

*hides in a hole*

*Hugs April*
I said it on LJ and I'll say it here , thats Massive ! You're very brave :)<3

Thanks, big bro. *cuddles* Just updated my r/v... :-S

*cuddles all* Sorry for no individual replies, I promise I'm not ignoring you!!!

*hugs Mark, Nicole, Heather, Jill, Jess, Kahlia, Felicia, April.. and any other wardies who happened to stop by but just not post*

Not up for individual replies at the moment, but thinking of you all :)

April, that's brilliant! *Huge encouraging hugs!* You're so strong for giving them up, I know it's scary. I've done it a few times in the past and I know how lost you can feel without them. I eneded up getting more, but you're stronger than me and you can do this. I haven't used them in a couple of weeks anyway, it just makes me feel safer to have them, but you can do this. :)

*Hugs Taz* What's the matter? People have a nickname for me too, they call me the ice queen which is kinda annoying but I'm used to it by now and don't really care anymore. I can see why they do it. Which quote in my signiture? Or is there only one. I actually forget. I might go check. Nope, there's two. Which one did you mean? Both of them are from me, they're not quotes. Well, they are, but from myself. I'm not really making sense so I'll shut up. I hope you're ok, you seemed to be doing really well. *More hugs*

*Hugs Mark* How was your walk? How are you feeling? It's good you managed to get yourself out of the house raher than lying in bed. It can really help just do get out of the house or do something to distract yourself. Well done. :)

*Hugs Nicole* What's wrong sweet? How's the moving out thing going? Why are you worried? It is nice when everyone is happy, or even at least on person, it can be really encouraging.

*Hugs Jill* What's the matter Jill? We're all here for you, you don't have to struggle alone.

Kahlia- It's great that you managed to get out of the house and go out without freaking out too much. Don't worry about the jerking, it's not your fault and it doens't make you a waste of space. We all have our problems and it's not anyone's fault, it's just the way you are and you shouldn't hate yourself for it. *Hugs*

*Hugs Heather*- You will get better, you can do this and you won't have these problems forever. We're all here to help you with that sweet. x

MissKitty- I don't think I've spoken to you before. I'm Lia. Hey. I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment. Try not to be ashamed of the cutting, all of us here know the feeling and it doesn't mean you're weak or pathetic. You just have problems and it's your way of dealing. I wish I listened to myself more, the sensible side of me makes so much sense, but I never listen to it myself.

Three weeks is really good Jess. *Hugs* Good luck with your appointment and I hope it goes well for you and you get the help you need.

Get this guys. I'm going to talk about myself.

My friend keeps telling me I have depression...I looked at a list of symptoms of adolesant depression and I have every single one. Except low sex drive and lack of performance in the bedroom, but that's kinda N/A, lol.

I wish she would leave me alone. I don't need her. She's hurt me in the past, she told me I was an attention seeking bitch, that I ****ed up her life and was nothing to her. She said she doesn't care about me and all I ever did was moan. Since then I lost my voice. Not literally, but I lost the one on the inside, the one that says 'help me, I can't do this on my own'. She's the reason I can't open up and she says she's sorry now, she never stops saying it but I need her to leave me alone. She doesn't understand that I can't and won't talk to her, I can't talk to anyone, although I am beginning to be able to open up here.

I'm so scared that she's right and I can't even admit it to myself.

xx

*hugs to everyone* I wish I could reply to you all individually, but I can't right now...

I just woke up to a text from my supposed best friend saying "I want you out of my life. That's all I'm gonna say." I just told him fine. so be it.

I'm so hurt and not in a safe place right now...

*cuddles april* You are amazing! Great job, I'm so proud of you for taking that step. I know its so hard.

*hugs mark* Sorry that you are feeling numb still. Hopefully things will turn around soon.

*hugs kahlia* I wish this anxiety would go down for you soon. Glad that you managed to go shopping though. Little steps maybe?

*hugs nicole, heather, jill and helen*

*hugs lia* its hard when people are there, then leave, then try to come back. I've had that happen to me several times. It ruins a lot of trust. I think that would kind of annoy me that they are "diagnosing" you, especially after calling you attention seeking and all that. Can you talk to them and explain why you do not want to discuss your MH issues with them anymore, or at least not until they show that you can trust them again?

*hugs felicia* I'm sorry that your best friend said that to you. It really hurts I know. Try to hang in there. Talk/vent in here if you need to and it would help.

*hugs oliver* I'm happy for your bf! I know thats a major step for him and for you too. Sorry you have such bad hay fever.

*hugs crimson* well done on completing the essay!

Must be motivated, must be motivated... *gets distracted* (Story of my life right now)
I don't really feel much of anything at the moment, which is kind of a relief I guess.

I could, but it was ages ago. I've forgiven her, I just don't want to discuss issues with her, not now not ever. I can't feel the same way, whatever I do and I really resent her trying to make me. It's just awkward and horrible.

I'm so sorry Felica. He's not worth it, I know that's hard to believe, but he's really not. If he's going to just ditch you for no reason at all, you at least deserve an explaination. *Huge hugs* You'll always have all of us here, whatever happens.

*Hugs Laura* Anything wrong sweet? I'm here to listen if you want me to.

xx

*hugs lia* thanks hun, I'm okay right now though. I just got up a few minutes ago lol (at 11:20am here) b/c i didnt get home until almost 4am last night. So my first 40 minutes of the day have been alright lol

Hugs lia sorry your friends being like that its really sucky.

Can't believe how many epic fails happened to day, some so funny it's was so worth it. Might not be saying it was funny tomorrow tho, but ah well. =\

Hey Jill. What happened? Anything you wanna talk about?

Glad you're ok Laura :) Here if you ever do want to talk though.

xx

*walks in and flops down on the floor*
...so drained...

*hides in corner.*