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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

katnovia 02-05-2010 10:31 PM

time for me to go cos kat needs bed. thanks for being nice. hope i was alright.

MammaMia 02-05-2010 10:36 PM

Thanks, sleep well xx

Scarletdreamer 02-05-2010 11:09 PM

Amy, finals are final exams, which are exams that see how much you've learnt over the course of the semester. :)

*cuddles Hels* I'm sorry that you're not doing so well at the mo... wish I could help somehow. Feel free, though, to type it all out, even if we've heard it before, because typing it out CAN help. *more cuddles* Trust me, I know!! :P You all must be SICK of me blathering about uni.... :-S

*spies no one & feels lonely* I am so anxious right now... per usual... typing helps some, as I said last night, because it helps get out some of the pent-up energy... I don't know, I just want to feel better, damnitall. :'(

I am so sick of being this way. I hate myself so much. :crying:

*hides and is invisible*

Scarletdreamer 02-05-2010 11:19 PM

Updated my r/v thread... :'(

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 11:22 PM

*wonders around ward in hunt for April, cant see her, then remembers his special glasses which means he can see invisible people, finds April and cuddles her*

we're not sick of you going on about uni, its fasinating to hear about what your doing, it all sounds very hard and challenging to me and I think your doing amazingly well to keep going with it and do so well.
sorry your feeling anxious, but yeah I can understand typing helping realise some pent up energy, thats why I tend to pace if I'm anxious.

*cuddles Helen* April is right, typing and writing it all out can help sometimes, dont worry about it being loads or we've seen it before, if it will help you then go for it.

*cuddles all who want cuddles*

*stomps around the ward, then stomps off to read April's rv thread*

nicole94 02-05-2010 11:24 PM

*hugs april, then goes off to hide*

MammaMia 02-05-2010 11:25 PM

You two are sweet. xx

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 11:31 PM

*stomps back into ward and gives April extra special Oliver cuddles*

p.s sorry for all the stomping guys, I'm just an angry boy

MammaMia 02-05-2010 11:33 PM

Stomp away *stomps around too*

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 11:35 PM

*stomps some more with Helen* you ok?

nicole94 02-05-2010 11:38 PM

sorry to be a pain, but-can i have a hug please? :(

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 11:40 PM

*cuddles Nicole* your not a pain, you ok?

nicole94 02-05-2010 11:42 PM

*hugs oliver* no! :'( i cant hold it in anymore, i feel like everythings collapsing around me, and i'm just making it worse by refusing to do DBT. i'm not safe anymore and i dont know how to cope! *cries*

frenchhorn 02-05-2010 11:50 PM

*cuddles Nicole with extra special Oliver cuddles* I'm sorry I dont have the right words at the moment, but you can get through this.
*offers to sit next to if you want*

nicole94 02-05-2010 11:51 PM

i dont want to be here anymore :'(

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:03 AM

*hugs Nicole lots*

Oliver, not really, but surviving..

Scarletdreamer 03-05-2010 12:04 AM

*brings some mud in a tub for people to stomp away in* :D It's clean mud... no worms or anything... just good ol' mud!! (I love how mud feels, used to play with it all the time as a kid ♥)

*cuddles Oliver* Thanks for the special cuddles, and thanks for being so sweet. You really are a lovely guy, remember that, okay? :) How are you doing tonight?

*cuddles Nicole* I understand the feeling of not wanting to be here anymore, but you CAN and WILL get through this, sweetie. It will just take time and effort and I know that that sounds awful and everything... but you can make it. You're a strong girl and I have faith in you - I think we all do. Why aren't you doing the DBT anymore? just wondering, as it seemed like it was helping you some.

*cuddles Hels* How are you doing? LET IT OUT, sweetie. It's okay. I promise!!

*cuddles everyone else who wants cuddles, and leaves boxes filled with safe hugs on the table for those who want those instead, and leaves chocolate for everyone, dark/white/milk, your choice!!*

I am so tired... but Jarrod isn't at all... frustrating!! :( I hate going to bed without him but I also hate making him feel forced to come to bed when I want to go to sleep and he wants to stay up. I don't know. I'm just so damn sick of conflict, seems like we've had our fair share of it for quite awhile. :(

Talked with my parents a bit earlier and they helped a little with advice, but it seems they're on Jarrod's side as well. I hardly got to speak with my mum at all as she didn't know how to cope with my question of how do I submit yet not feel weak for submitting and then getting angry with myself for submitting? (if that makes sense) GRRRRR. So I'm not a happy camper tonight, really.

Plus, uni work is not going well and my brain feels like it fried last week, and still hasn't recovered. :'( I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I need to get stuff done but I'm scared that I won't be able to.

*hides in a hole* :crying:

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:06 AM

April...I want to let it out but hmm *cuddles tight*

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 12:07 AM

*cuddles Helen with extra special cuddles*
you want to talk?

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:16 AM

Thanks Oliver *huggles lots*

Glad Sunday's finally over. Really crap day, with my mum threatening to kick me out and everything. Really ****ing hurt. Then nobody except my two best friends has given a **** about me today. Oh well.

So over being low. So over everything :(

Scarletdreamer 03-05-2010 12:19 AM

What happened with the threat to get kicked out? why? (if you don't want to say here, that's fine... you can PM me or just not answer, that's fine too) I'm so sorry about it though, love... :( that's really rough. I'm glad that you have your besties to count on... but remember, you also have US. :) We give a damn about you... you're important to me, I know that much. *cuddles gently* ♥

*sighs and retreats to invisibility again* :'(

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:22 AM

Stop going invisible =( *sits with April*

Me & my Mum had a bit of a row, haven't had one in weeks!! Should have seen it coming. But anyway..she said if I carried on, she'd kick me out & have to go live with my Dad. Can't do that as he splits his time between living at his mum's & stopping at his girlfriend's. So I'd be on the streets because I couldn't afford to go live with my sister & pay her rent. I'm sorry too :( I know she didn't mean it probably but it really hurt me. Felt like she was rejecting me. We've barely spoken since :'(

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 12:23 AM

*cuddles April* sorry about the conflict of going to bed or not, could you maybe do a hlafway house, where you both get into bed and Jarrod stays up reading, or he is in the room, or something sorry I'm just throwing ideas out.
can I ask, what does submitting mean? you used it a lot in your last post and it confused me, I tried to work it out but couldnt, sorry I'm probably being really thick.

*cuddles Helen and Nicole*

can I ask people a question, do you guys talk to your parents about sh/mental health problems? its just I'm probably goingto have to get a load of work deferred cos of my depression and I can't lie to my mum like I did last year over my recital, so I'm think of telling her a bit of the truth.

thanks April, I dont feel like a lovely guy, feel like an idiot and a burden and someone who causes unnecessary stress to others.
I don't know how i am doing tonight, all over the place, but wont talk about it and bring my problems into here, will help others who need it, i'm just complaining and dont deserve your support.

*stomps and hides*

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:28 AM

I don't really talk to my parents about my sh/mh problems. More like rowing (Y) Sorry that's not much help *cuddles*

Scarletdreamer 03-05-2010 12:33 AM

*stomps with Oliver and cuddles him too* It's fine if you say what's going on, we don't mind - if you need support, you need support, it's that simple. :) Like I said to Hels, it's okay to vent/rant about how you're feeling/doing. Please do. Otherwise I feel like I'm taking up wayy too much space with my whinging... er, I mean, expressing. Lol.

Umm, submitting means basically going under someone else's "rule" or orders. Like, with this situation, it would be submitting if I backed down, stopped being stubborn, and said, "Okay, I'll go to church with you, Jarrod, and I won't be all grumbly and whingy about it. I'll give it my best shot, and let you be the leader." Hope that explains it? In the Bible it says that women are supposed to follow their husbands like the early Christians followed Jesus, basically, and that husbands are supposed to treat their wives like Jesus treated the early Church (which is considered to be His Bride). So yeah. That raises a lot of people's hackles (including mine, at times anyway), but I don't want to get into any more religious talk on here in case that gets me in trouble. :-X Anyway... does that make more sense now? And no, you're not being dense, I probably just rambled on and didn't make much sense myself!! :P I do that a lot...

Updated my r/v thread again...

Oh, and we've tried having Jarrod in the room with me but right now he doesn't have any books to read and doesn't want to read any of mine (or something like that, I don't know)... even though he has in the past. I'll have to ask him about that tonight, to see if he'll be willing to be in the room whilst I sleep. Sounds awfully dumb, doesn't it... :( Sorry to be such a whingy baby...


Scarletdreamer 03-05-2010 12:34 AM

Oh and about my parents and my SI/bipolar stuff... we don't really talk about it. They know about it and they read some of my LiveJournal where I talk about it (I have a lot of filtered entries... lol)... but it stresses them out to know I'm suicidal or whatnot, so I don't tell them really until either 1) I go into hospital and need a ride [morbid lol] or 2) it's all over and I'm doing better. Hope that helps some...

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 12:44 AM

ahhh ok I understand now thanks April.

thanks, I just dont want to keep going on about my gender issues stuff in here because it probably isn't the place and I shouldn't expect you guys to understand, but then a lot of that is linked to my depression and anxiety, I dont know, just feel stupid and guilty. OK I wont rant about what I really want to rant about because it will probably offend quite a few people in here and I do not want to do that, but grrrrr, I'm just bloody fed up of being seen as a piece of scum by certain people and especially scared when these people are in charge of nations or are MP's in my country. sorry will shut up now before I say something I'll regret

your not whinging like a baby April far from it *cuddles*

*hides in a mood*

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:45 AM

Ohwell. Ignorance is bliss.

*cuddles you both*

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 12:47 AM

oh and thanks for the replies about parents, I wasn't really planning on telling her I'm suicidal or anything just thinking say I've had some work deferred because I was diagnosed with severe depression a year ago and its getting worse again and so I'm not coping well

MammaMia 03-05-2010 12:52 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Sounds like a good idea to me xxx

Kahlia1981 03-05-2010 03:36 AM

Oliver: My illness started .. well to be honest when I was 12 years old in Grade 8 - the first year of High School here. My PE teacher called me out of a class of my peers and called me fat. I then began my trip to A.N. My mother worked it out fairly quickly and called in all sorts of help to get me back on track, and I was semi-fine until Grade 11 - 15 years of age. My mental illness started then and my parents were informed of some of it by the Guidance Counsellor at some point during that year. I can't be more specific 'cause the ECT I had in 2008 disrupted the referencing system in my brain. (Which is really irritating at times.) My parents and I talk about some parts of my illness and when the hospital was mistreating me they sought a Ministerial Injunction in 2004. Unfortunately I didn't trust the doctor and was extremely unwell, and as such could not speak to him. Now I have let them know what is happening with the complaint and so forth and they have decided that they couldn't care less. You won't know what the reaction is likely to be until you speak to them, however, if you have found them supportive before, it is probably highly likely they will be supportive. Sorry, I realise that's very long. My apologies.

Helen: *hugs you and holds you tight* I hope that things settle down between you and your mother my dear. *hugs you again*

April: I hope you and Jarrod can work out some kind of compromise. With the church, can you make it a "I'll go with you two weeks out of three" or something? Just asking. Please don't go invisible. We miss you.

Sorry, my memory isn't playing nicely today after no sleep last night so I can't think of who else there is to reply to. I'm really sorry, so I'll just leave *big hugs and cuddles* for those who can accept them and I'll *release a dozen butterflies into the garden* to brighten our day - figuring that by the time most of you read this it will be your daytime.

SoMuchMore 03-05-2010 05:38 AM

*cuddles everyone*

im sorry if i am not being very supportive lately. I actually am starting to get overwhelmed with the speed that this place is moving. I am thinking of all of you though, and i try to read everything.

xxjuliexx 03-05-2010 06:04 AM

afternoon all *hugs eveyone*

mouse in darkness 03-05-2010 08:08 AM

Thanxs Mark. My computer died when I was on last.

I hope all are doing okay.

*Hugs and comfy coushions for all*

xxjuliexx 03-05-2010 09:24 AM

anyone about

katnovia 03-05-2010 11:01 AM

Laura: I know how you feel sweet, I'm so afraid of doing individual replies now incase I miss someone who's feeling really bad, but I have to try my best *feels guilty for not being good enough*

kahlia: *huggles* sorry your memories not doing good....mine's suffering in here too! it's so fast moving.

*waves at M.I.D/apples* sorry hun, your name has escaped me..*feels guilty*

*huggles all she's missed who want huggles, and leaves individual pressies of whatever everyone wans*

Julie: hi hun, i'm here. How are you? Hows Owen? he feeling any better since he was last out?

Helen : Im sorry that you are feeling low, and that you are 'done' with feeling low. It's not a nice place to be and I wish that I could do something to help to bring you out of it. It's a shame you are having trouble with your mum, it wasn't nice of her to threaten you with throwing you out. My mum used to do that a lot when we were little kids, but when I wanted her to as a teen she wouldn't budge! I'm sure she wasn't intentionally abandoning you hunny, I bet she's finding it really hard to cope with her daughter being ill, and feels pretty useless, so lashes out in frustration with not knowing what to do just as much as anything. I dont know, i'm theorising here, feel free to correct me if you think i'm miles off! *big huggles and a huge bunch of pretty flowers*

frenchhorn 03-05-2010 11:07 AM

*Hugs Kahlia* thanks for all the info regarding parents and sh/mh, its really useful.
I hope you can get some better sleep tonight

*hugs Julie* you ok?

*hugs MID* how are you?

*hugs Kat* how are you?

*cuddles everyone who wants cuddles*
I'm off for the RYL Manchester meet in about 30mins, I will reply properly when I get back.

Doikers 03-05-2010 11:32 AM

*Hugs April* You can do it . You CAN :)
*hugs Nicole* You will get through this , we here will do anything we can to help.
*Hugs Oliver* You are NOT a idiot , you are a very nice and talented guy , I wish you could see that too.
*hugs Helen* I'm sorry you had a argument with your mum , can you try to patch it up ay all ? I'm here to listen as always.
*hugs everyone else who wants them*
*Waves to Owen*
Sorry this isn't a longer post , I've only just managed to crawl out of bed in the last hour . SO HARD to wake up , I'm sleeping at least 12 hours a night but am still tired . sorry , it seems petty to whinge when some aren't sleeping at all.
Stomps off to read Aprils R/V thread .

xxjuliexx 03-05-2010 11:32 AM

*hides under a slab of concrete*

Doikers 03-05-2010 11:39 AM


*hides under a slab of concrete*
THAT can't be comfy ^^^ you ok?

shadowedsoul 03-05-2010 12:06 PM

Sneaks in and hides under a pile of blankets.not safe
not safe.today is way to much,want to cut really badly.
Damn it.

shadowedsoul 03-05-2010 12:07 PM

Sneaks in and hides under a pile of blankets.not safe
not safe.today is way to much,want to cut really badly.
Damn it.

xxjuliexx 03-05-2010 12:10 PM

*shakes head* 'm fine need hide dont want get caught on lap top

i dunno how i got this ------->

katnovia 03-05-2010 12:13 PM

Oliver: *hugs* have a major headache from all the switchies resently, could do with a stable day without the others coming out.

Julie: *lifts slab of concrete and adds a comfy pillow before putting it carefully back down*

Mark: *hugs* g'afternoon. There's nothing wrong saying how you feel about your sleeping, if it's a problem for you we want to hear about it so we can support you. To be honest I feel worse after a better nights sleep, almost as if my body is going 'yay! sleep at last...more, must have more!"

Shadowed soul: *huggles* try to resist the urges hun, you can do it, you'll be alright. What is way too much for you today sweetie?

xxjuliexx 03-05-2010 12:25 PM

*pushes a note out* kat how old is ur baby

Doikers 03-05-2010 12:29 PM

Why don't you wanna get caught on your laptop Julie?
*Hugs Shadowed Soul*

one_step_closer 03-05-2010 12:29 PM

My suicidal feelings are getting more intense. I don't know what to do. I have been doing ok, I don't want to get back to the point where I landed in hospital (although I do long to be in hospital.)

How is everyone?

xxjuliexx 03-05-2010 12:33 PM

i'll get in trouble

Doikers 03-05-2010 12:35 PM

I'm ok Lindsay Thanx , Not great but Not suicidal which is something . Just Constantly Numb , maybe I'm getting used to it :S I hope I don't have to , Still feeling *watched* though.
I'm sorry you are feeling so horrible *Offers huge hugs to Lindsay* I hope I got your name correct ?

Doikers 03-05-2010 12:36 PM

Oh and Lindsay I totally relate with your longing to be back in hospital , I get that too sometimes , just so you know you're not alone in that ..

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