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MammaMia 29-04-2010 01:34 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Doikers 29-04-2010 01:36 PM

*hugs Helen*
I spot an Oliver *Hugs*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 01:37 PM

*cuddles Hels* How're you, sweetie??

*cuddles Oliver* I spy you!! :D

And I spy you, Mark!! :D *more cuddles to you as well*

Just updated my r/v thread... am on campus now. :(

MammaMia 29-04-2010 01:48 PM

*hugs Mark & April* How you doing now?

I spy an Oliver too *hugs*

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 01:53 PM

oooo I have been spied by many people, *hugs you all*

April- my tutor is a lecturer and head of undergrads at my uni, she takes one of my tutorials and is just generally being supportive, taking time out to talk to me and offering to come with me to see my head of school

*hides before the next rehearsal*

SoMuchMore 29-04-2010 02:12 PM

*cuddles everyone*
I spy helen!

MammaMia 29-04-2010 02:18 PM

*cuddles Oliver & Laura*

I don't spy anyone except myself :(

Doikers 29-04-2010 02:47 PM

*Hugs April* I read your R/V thread *extra hugs*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 03:07 PM

*cuddles Hels, Mark, Laura, and Oliver*

Oliver, I'm so glad that she's being supportive... :) That's awesome. I hope that she continues to be & that you manage to get the extensions you need. Is this rehearsal another 9-hour one or is it shorter?

Hels, how are you, love? You "kind of" evaded my question... *squishes*

Mark, thanks for reading it... you're so sweet - anyone who reads it is - because you don't have to & it's just out of your way & all... How are you doing now?

I only spy me in the thread :( boo.

I took a mini-nap in the student center, just kind of curled up in a chair and relaxed with Plumb playing on my iPod. It was nice. Then I went into the bookstore to see if there are any things that I want to get (as tomorrow - Sale Friday - everything with my uni's logo is 20% off) but I got too anxious so I had to leave. What a pathetic loser. :'(

So now I'm at tutoring... suppose I should sign in, ey, so my supervisor knows that I came... there, signed in. Woohoo.

Still so anxious. I HATE IT!!!! (thanks guys, for being so patient with me :o)

I just want to curl up & go to sleep for a very long time... but I have work that I NEED to do... I just don't know if I can focus on it. I'm so caught up in my own problems right now... selfish bitch that I am. :'(


MammaMia 29-04-2010 03:25 PM

I'm always popping by your rant thread April *squishes*

I'm low. But nobody wants to hear me whining. Still got a migraine, not as bad, but still, UGH!!

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 03:28 PM

And I appreciate you doing that, too, Hels. And anyone else. *cuddles* I'm sorry that you have a migraine - and goodness, how can you possibly think that people don't want to listen to your "whinging" when they listen to mine??! I whinge the most of everyone in here, I think (not to start a competition that is, lol)... and people still haven't booted me out of here. So yeah.

Am so tired. GRRRR. Still. And anxious. Still. GRRRRRRR!!!!!

Doikers 29-04-2010 03:31 PM

Oh April you are NOT selfish or a bitch , you are such a nice person and one day you will see that .
And a sale at a bookshop ! with a Uni discount! *jealous* if only I had the concentration to read , I just end up staring into space and getting so frustrated.

I feel groggy , probably from last night's OD still. I want to cut , I want to , I want to , I want to :(

" with bitch drop the T , cus Bich is latin for genourosity" <

MammaMia 29-04-2010 03:38 PM

Anxiety & tiredness is a bitch. I have them both too today April, so know how you're feeling, but luckily mine's not too bad *squishes* We apparently don't whine, we 'express' hahaha!! *squishes* But YOU definitely don't whine xx

Mark, I'm so sorry you want to cut so much. Try not to *snuggles* Try distractions on RYL??

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 03:39 PM

Thanks Mark... *curls up next to, 'cause he's comforting* ...I just wish that I could see that. It's not actually a bookshop, it's the uni bookstore that sells like uni logo clothing, textbooks, and some "fun books" - but nothing off on those. Just the clothing, really. I want to get another, last pair of sweatpants before I leave (lol - I have like 5 pairs of uni sweats as is... :P)... am not sure if I want the more expensive pair of girls' sweats, or the less expensive, guys' ones that have pockets. (What is the DEAL with making girls'/women's sweats without pockets?!?!)


I spy an Oliver and a Mark!! :D

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 03:42 PM

Hels, you were hiding!!! I so want an invisibility cloak like yours... :P Yes, we express ourselves. :) We all do. No whinging here, no one has and no one will. :) *cuddles*

Mark, please don't cut... *holds your hands gently* ...or try your hardest not to, as I know you will... it's so hard not to when you're in a place (physical place, AND mental place too) where you can. Maybe go for a walk? or keep talking to us?

Speaking of SI, I am tempted to go to this very graphic self mutilation website I know about... will NOT give anyone the link... I can't believe that someone gave ME the link when s/he knew that I was a SI'er... because it's not a community like this one is, although it does have good information about SI. :-/ Guess that might be why... but members are allowed to post pics, so yeah. BAD. I really shouldn't go there... but I REALLY REALLY want to... :(

MammaMia 29-04-2010 03:54 PM

No looking at the website April :( Try not to at least? *snuggles* If you've got it saved anywhere, delete it *snuggles* I'm too good at this hiding stuff in here *giggles*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 03:56 PM

I'll try not to, Hels. *cuddles* What do you mean, you're too good at hiding stuff in here? :-S *is a bit worried*

Boo, I'm the only one viewing the thread now. I feel lonely. *pouts* Hehe...


MammaMia 29-04-2010 04:21 PM

I meant hiding from showing that I'm viewing the thread..although I am good at hiding things too. But anyway :)

I spy a Romp && Mark :)

Doikers 29-04-2010 04:22 PM

I went down to the super market and bought some energy drinks so I wasn't cutting then . now I'm here listening to one of my CD's that I got from amazon today so I'm not cutting this minute either :/

April , I would always get the sweatpants WITH pockets , where else are you gonna put stuff , keys etc . lol It's weird that the womans ones are pocketless I agree.

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 04:28 PM

I spy a Hels!! and a Laura!! and a Mark!! *cuddles* Lol... sorry... am just so bored right now. :-/

Yes, you are good at hiding, Helen. :P But the hiding things is not good... better to EXPRESS yourself (:D) than bottle it all up. You know we understand etc., etc., so feel free to talk all you want. I miss your longer updates.

What music are you listening to, Mark? :D I'm listening to Skillet... have 3 of their albums on my iPod so am listening to them on shuffle. I love ordering/buying things... am waiting on a pair of shirts to come in the post. One's for Jarrod, one's for me... got 'em from c28.com, which is an AWESOME Christian clothing site. :) Well done for not cutting yet, keep it up... you can make it through today, I know you can. *cuddles gently*

Updated r/v again... :(

SoMuchMore 29-04-2010 04:36 PM

*cuddles helen, mark, and april*

I spy oliver!

I am such an idiot. Gah! SO STUPID. I was supposed to call and interview this guy for a story and I forgot that he is in a different time zone so I am an hour late!! So now I look and feel like a complete idiot. How could i have not have thought of that? I am such an epic fail today...

Doikers 29-04-2010 04:36 PM

April , the CD is April Rain by Delain, it's pretty good, almost everything I Ebayed had come , I got a jumparoo for my sisters daughter on ebay and then just started bidding away on all sorts lol bought DVD's which is dumb as i have NO attention span or concentration for ages now , but music actually helps me so YEY!

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 04:44 PM

Awh Laura hon, you're not stupid. *cuddles* It's really difficult for ANYONE, I think, to remember time zone differences. I know it is for me!! Try not to beat yourself up any more over it... mistakes happen... just explain to him that you forgot. I know that I wouldn't think you stupid for that... and I DON'T think you're stupid for it. *more cuddles* How many weeks of school do you have left, btw?

*cuddles Mark* That sounds like a peaceful album, but who knows... never heard of Delain. Hehe. Skillet is not particularly peaceful... lol... but it's good for my mood at the mo. I don't know... *sigh* But I'm so glad that music is keeping you from SI'ing!! :D That's awesome... keep enjoying it & keep talking with us... I have to log off soon as I will be popping off to a different building on campus, but I will be back. (Dun dun dunnn..........)


Doikers 29-04-2010 04:51 PM

Delain are like this slighty gothic ,rock band with strings and keyboard I think they are Dutch , they sound a bit like Within Temptation if that helps :)

SoMuchMore 29-04-2010 04:56 PM

I know that it was just an honest mistake... but i feel so stupid.. I have a hard enough time making phone calls without looking like an idiot.

April - I have 2 weeks... one more week of classes and then finals week. how about u?

*hugs everyone*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 05:02 PM

Ah Mark, they sound awesome!! I'll have to check 'em out on YouTube or summat, as I LOVE LOVE LOVE Within Temptation. :) They are one of my most favorite groups. Gothic music FTW, lol. :D *cuddles* How you doing??

Laura, I've just one week of finals left. This afternoon is my last class EVER (woohoo!!)... at least, hopefully. :-S We'll see how that goes... it's my advanced counseling class, and I have absolutely no clue on what we'll be doing in it. Urgh. I have a love/hate relationship with that class (more hate than love I'm afraid!!)...

So tired... *yawns, then curls up in a nook with a stuffed toy, her uni fleecy blanket, and some good books*

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 05:11 PM

haHA!!!! I spy you, Hels!! :D Your invisibility cloak must've fallen off... oopsies, hope you didn't lose it. That would be bad. :P

*cuddles all then tries to figure out what to do next IRL*

MammaMia 29-04-2010 05:12 PM

*cuddles everyone*

=P I see April, Laura AND Mark wooop :)

Just had a shower, kept looking at my scars, really want to add to them, but I know I can't. Have to keep being freee. Dammit >.>

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 05:13 PM

Awh... *cuddles Hels* (you've disappeared again) I understand that feeling... it's really a tough one to cope with, isn't it? :( I wish I could do something that would actually help... :(

I feel like such a worthless piece of **** that just takes up space. :(

*hides in shame*

Doikers 29-04-2010 05:13 PM

I'm hanging on in there April , I'll be hanging around the ward I think until I have an early night I think.

Here's a Delain link :)

Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 05:19 PM

A good idea to keep hanging 'round the ward til bedtime... wish I could do that, heh. And I'll listen to the Delain link once there isn't someone in the office with me (I'm at my dad's comp & he shares his office). Or I'll listen to it once I get home. Don't want to disturb the other guy. Heh.

*hides again*

MammaMia 29-04-2010 06:24 PM

Sorry, I really did disappear this time!! One of my sisters came into my room & we were talking. Heard the door go which shouldn't have happened. To find my Mum home early :D So she rang jobcentre for me about my JSA claim. Fun. Got an interview for that tomorrow PLUS my doctor's appointment. Dreading them both so much :'(

PoisonedApple 29-04-2010 06:24 PM

I made myself Bajoran Earrings last night so I could focus on something other than my thoughts and feelings... And my previous post was much more expansive and whatnot but I didn't wanna spend forever and a day retyping it so here you go :)
Will post a pic of them after I put a pic into my photobucket...

Doikers 29-04-2010 06:33 PM

Awww Helen*hugs* I hope your stuff goes well tommorow , Thinking of you :)

Crimson *Hugs* I'd love to see those ear-rings you made you sound very creative:) Bajoran like DS9?

I'm thinking of bed already 6.30 pm I want to sleep but it feels too early but I AM tired , and triggered and if I'm sleeping I can't very well harm , plus my social worker is here 9am tommorow morning so I have to be up and dressed and whatnot by then and as I am having trouble waking up 8.30am is really tough for me ........

*Runs around the ward offereing hugs*

MammaMia 29-04-2010 06:38 PM

Thanks Mark :D

I spy Oliver again :) *glomps*

Doikers 29-04-2010 06:42 PM

Helen , Whats a Glomp? lol

Doikers 29-04-2010 06:47 PM

My fingers won't hit the right keys :S I'll go to bed , have a nice morning , lunch , afternoon ,evening , night ...........depending on your timezone :)

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 06:49 PM

*hugs Mark* if your feeling really tired and as you said while sleeping you can't be harming it may be a good idea to go to bed, I hope it goes ok with your social worker tomorrow.

*hugs Helen* and also wonders what a glomp is?!?!

i'm so sleepy, been rehearsing all day and had about 3 hours sleep last night, I'm just lying on my bed wanting to sleep, but may watch mamma mia instead.

SoMuchMore 29-04-2010 07:06 PM

*hugs april* im sorry that your anxiety is so bad. I really understand. I HATE it. And mine has been through the roof lately with all the stress from uni. Its almost over though. Lucky you that you get done a week before me... and that you are done completely after that! But you have worked really hard so I'm super happy for you! :-)

*hugs mark* I sometimes sleep to avoid harming too.. or avoid dealing with life in general heh. Good luck with your social worker tomorrow.

*cuddles helen* I think you need to tell that invisibility cloak to behave better! It seems to have a life of its own deciding when it will turn on its magic... Plus what good is a cloak if it only works sometimes? :-P :-)

*hugs crimson* I love earrings! I would like to see a picture as well. how r u today?

*hugs oliver, then sits and watches Mammia Mia too (don't worry i can leave if u decide to sleep lol)*

I did get a hold of that source... unfortunately he was no help, he didn't seem to think i was stupid though. In fact, he admitted to forgetting about it completely. So that all worked out.
Tonight I have a job interview for the newspaper. Its so late, 7:00pm. I feel like that is a strange time for an interview but o well.
This is such a bad anxiety day for me with phone calls, interviewing, and being interviewed... Hopefully later night i will just be able to breath for a bit. Even tho i have tons of work that i should be doing.
I think i might go take a nap. Everyone here talking about sleep has made me tired lol.

PoisonedApple 29-04-2010 07:16 PM

My new earrings
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Space Conserving... Pic

*cuddles everyone* How is everyone doing today?

SoMuchMore 29-04-2010 07:21 PM

Crimson - wow you made those earrings?! that's awesome. They look cool!

I'm okay.. stressed and anxious.. but okay at the moment. How about u?

PoisonedApple 29-04-2010 07:24 PM

Well getting the pics from my phone to my photobucket seemed to take forever lol but yes, Mark, I did mean like from Babylon 5... but I modified them to suit the number of piercings in my ears. I had all the supplies already :). I moved around so much the last 2 decades that I had a ton of mismatched earrings so the stud based ones I just used what I had without matches and paired them up with each other as close in resemblance as possible. For example of the 2 tiniest ones... one of them is a piercing stud, the other isn't but they are both clear gems in relative size so I figured it was close enough :) I've actually gotten a compliment on them from a coworker that usually doesn't have a kind thing to say to anyone so that was cool... other people just stare at my ears and can't maintain eye contact but say nothing lol
Laura~ yep I did. Thank you! *beams with pride* I'm doing ok mostly... getting frustrated with looking for a file that has 3 marked boxes that somehow vanished into a black hole... I actually bothered to wear makeup today and 'get myself ready to face the day FLYing' (FLY is an acronym for finally loving myself)... All in all not a bad day so far but it is only 1030 am.
*tucks in those going to bed*
Helen is a glomp like a pounce?
*huggles all*

PoisonedApple 29-04-2010 08:07 PM

wow that was pleasant lol this weeks staff meeting only lasted 8 minutes from announcement and gathering to letting out and getting back to my office :D

Kahlia1981 29-04-2010 08:17 PM

*hugs everyone*

Sorry if I'm not around much. A computer with no monitor is about as much use as .... an Operating System with a Graphical User Interface on a computer with no Graphics Card. My friends daughter destroying my monitor means that I'm $320 out of pocket for a replacement monitor, I need to spend another $200 on a more stable desk to ensure it doesn't happen again and I had to throw a $305 piece of electronic equipment in the bin. *grumble grumble*

*finds everyone in the holes, boxes, forts and places in the garden they are hiding or sitting and hugs them then disappears into her own hole and cries*

CrazyHayley 29-04-2010 08:47 PM

*munch munch*

Sorry to talk with a mouthful, I'll be brief, munching on a late dinner, I'm just reading through the last 4pages since I last left the common room to watch west side story last night. Anyhoo...I'll respond bit better soon....

*group huggles*

*carries on munching*

CrazyHayley 29-04-2010 08:57 PM

ooh bollocks, I've missed the first 25minutes of priministal debate. Not that I need to watch it to influence my vote, I know who I'm voting for but I want to be aware of what the idiots who will end up running the country stand for and what to expect!
*extra huggles for wardies*
*toddles off to find a tv in ward to watch uk politics*

xxjuliexx 29-04-2010 09:20 PM

*wakes up then sits and hugs selp*

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 09:36 PM

i just woke up in agony from cramp in both my calf's, was not fun.

*cuddles all*
why does my depression get severe again right when i need it not to


Scarletdreamer 29-04-2010 09:47 PM

*pokes head in*

So so anxious... couldn't even focus on WoW... have no idea how I'm going to handle the picnic tonight at my advisor's house... am so ****ing scared about being a pathetic loser there. Although, lol, there will be plenty of trained counselors (the faculty) on hand to assist me if I need it!! :P Just kidding... hopefully I won't need their help. ;)

Crimson, those earrings are AMAZING!!! :D You are so talented. And yey for FLYing. :D *glomps* (and yes, a glomp is like a pounce, only much, um, pouncier!! hehehe :D)

Damn, I hate being this anxious... :'( My throat is all constricted and I feel like I can't breathe... I HATE IT... and I have no real reason to be anxious either. Ughhh. I just want to be okay with life... okay with my head... okay in general would be good!!!! :'(

*needs hugs* Sorry for asking for attention... :'(

frenchhorn 29-04-2010 09:53 PM

*hugs April* wish I could add some words of advice, but I'm not coping right now, but I hope tonight goes well

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