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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

tbsmac 15-07-2008 12:56 PM

*hugs everyone*
Sorry I haven't been here for a while, I have nothing to say anymore, I dont really know where I am or what i'm doing.
I went to the doctor this morning cause I know I cant get better without medication but I have this complete phobia of it and I dont know what to do anymore I feel trapped. Not sure going to see her was the right thing to do I think I said too much she got straight on the phone to my cpn who wasn't avaliable and left a message saying I needed help urgently, which yes I do, but now i'm scared, scared that i'll lose control of the situation. urgh why is this so hard, I know what I need to do I just cant bring myself to do it, why cant I take the help I so desperatly need? So now here I am panicing cause I know someone is going to phone anytime, **** what have I done.
*snuggles down and hides in the corner*

lil-princess 15-07-2008 02:46 PM

*Sending you all loads of hugs*

I'm not staying but thought i'd let you know i did go to the doctor's this morning, but it was kinda a waste of time, still don't know whats wrong but should find out in a few days once i've had some stupid test done, but i feel ill today and i'm so pissed off amongst other things so i'm not staying online sorry :(


Detour. Derail 15-07-2008 02:54 PM


Originally Posted by effervescence (Post 922859)
yeah that is the point :)

AHAA!!! I'm so stupid :P

Detour. Derail 15-07-2008 02:58 PM

oooohhh...guess what guyyysss?!

I have a new fringe ^_^
Probably not the most exciting news in the world but hey-ho..

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Oh noes >.<

zowie 15-07-2008 03:22 PM

Niiiice fringe Alexx.

I'm waiting for the people at A&E to call me back, I just can't cope anymore.

Detour. Derail 15-07-2008 03:23 PM

Thankyou :]

Did they say when they were gonna call hun?
*cuddles you*

zowie 15-07-2008 03:43 PM

The woman from EIP phoned, said that A&E phoned her.
She's coming over in about 15mins, but I don't think she can help me. I want to OD so bad, I might end up doing something stupid and ODing on painkillers. Which is stupid. stupid stupid stupid.
Why do I feel this way? I hate myself so much it hurts.

Detour. Derail 15-07-2008 03:59 PM

I know sweetheart :(
It hurts and its awful...but stay strong ok?
You've been doing well and it wont be this way forever..

Im sorry...I wish I could help you better :(

blondiebear 15-07-2008 04:25 PM

Cultural note for those who don't know; a lei is something they have in Hawaii, a necklace made of flowers. We also have the plumeria family.

I did not SI last night. For me, feeling something then acting on it are two different things. So I still have six months.

Bless my husband. Even though he wasn't expecially effective, he was helpful. He kept talking to me. He pointed out when I had thread tangles, which I can hear when they happen. The bobbin sounds weird when it does.

All that is left to do is phone the client and trim the threads. I can trim threads while I sit here. It is not the first time. He needs these for a party on Saturday; no extensions.

My friend and I did work things out. I will tell the nurtrititionist the truth, including the bowl of cereal after midnight.

Thank you for putting up with me. *grabs blanket and pillow and goes to one side of the room to curl up and sleep.* If I snore, just ask me to turn over and i'll snore at the wall of the tent instead of into it deafening y'all.

Auburn Shadow 15-07-2008 04:49 PM

*hugs everyone*

I'm liking the fringe Alexx :)
Hope you get some sleep, Susan.

Haven't got much I can say at the moment, so I'm going to just sit in a corner for a bit.

tbsmac 15-07-2008 05:25 PM

well spoken to my cpn today and she insists on seeing me tomorrow, dont know what the doctor said to her but it cant have been too good cause she kept saying how concerned they are, I dont know why its not their life after all.

zowie 15-07-2008 05:56 PM

A&E sent the woman from EIP over, she just wound me up to the point where I thought I was going to hurt her. I really did.
So no one can help me, just as I thought.

1ofmany 15-07-2008 09:49 PM

Hey guys, My internet hasnt been letting me load RYL for some reason and has taken me ages to get here.
Loving the fringe Alex!
Saw a couple of friends today but mostly sat on the sidlines and watched, still feeling ****.
My confedorate friend (the one i talk to most about myself) still hasnt got back to me :( i dont think he cares anymore.

So yeh kept seeing myself dying at work today and am starting to get the urges again but cant act on them as i am driving a friend to work...*sigh* sorry guys

*Hands out all the strength and positive thoughts I can muster to everyone*

Casper_Fading 15-07-2008 11:36 PM

shh... i'm not here... someones nailed that damn tarp over my head and i can't see naything... no ligth

*hides in a corner*

where is the light

effervescence 16-07-2008 03:29 AM

alexx you look LOVELY.
i love how you can eyeliner properly as well *is jealous*

blondiebear 16-07-2008 04:03 AM

*hugs all around*
I don't have time to say much. I need you here behind me please. I'll explain it all later. When I will collapse into the middle of you and cling to anyone who will listen.
More later. Thanks y'all.

Casper_Fading 16-07-2008 05:21 AM

*cuddles* you know i'm here to listen.

blondiebear 16-07-2008 06:23 AM

I know and I appreciate it so very much! I'll come back and support everyone when I can.

zowie 16-07-2008 09:29 AM

Woman from EIP is coming over again today. She really wound me up yesterday, I'm not looking forward to seeing her. I've also realised that I can OD on sleeping pills my dad's not hidden from me.

blondiebear 16-07-2008 12:48 PM

zowie, please don't.

ooh, it is 5:00 am and I didn't get to bed until 11:30. It is going to be a long day.

CrazyHayley 16-07-2008 02:15 PM

*snuggles susan and zowie* I've just been catching up on the past 36hrs, and you two both definately need my extra special snuggles. I wish that I was able to give something a bit more constructive but I had far too much alcohol with my meds yesterday and am feeling shall we say a tad delicate today.
*snuggles everyone else* well I can't leave anybody out cos we're all in here for a reason and need support and safety.

CrazyHayley 16-07-2008 03:13 PM

oh my goodness, where is everyone?! Has there been a day release outing from the ward that i missed out on due to not being with it cos of my hangover?! *cries* its sooo lonely and quiet......

1ofmany 16-07-2008 03:39 PM

Hey i am here just back from work (well needed a shower too!)
Strangely ok but paranoid today :S feels werid!

Hope your feeling better now hayley.

CrazyHayley 16-07-2008 03:56 PM

ah! I'm not all alone!!! there is life in here with me, good good.
Yeah hangovers gone now, but just left drained as I got a bit over emotional due to the drink and then my mind was going round and round and so I didn't get any sleep. I'm running on caffiene at the mo to get me through til dinner time, otherwise if I fall asleep too soon by body clock will get all messed up.
*goes off in search of that smoking shelter again*
*hangs head in shame at filthy disgusting habbit*

blondiebear 16-07-2008 04:10 PM

Hi. I'm here too. Don't forget, I'm 8 hours behind y'all in the UK. I need some sleep sometimes too.

I did make it back to bed for an hour. My sewing client said that he would be here around 1:30 or was it 1:45 to pick up the serviettes and place mats. Still have to clip threads, but that won't be difficult. Then no work coming in till the 23rd.

It is early yet. I don't know what i'm feeling besides damp and hungry.

*goes off to eat breakfast*

Auburn Shadow 16-07-2008 04:11 PM

heya, I'm around, just don't have much I can say at the moment. Sorry....

*sends hugs for everyone*

Detour. Derail 16-07-2008 04:30 PM

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Hayleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

CrazyHayley 16-07-2008 04:35 PM

Thanks for the hugs Auburn shadow *snuggles you in return* you don't have to talk, just knowing someones there is helpful enough.

*snuggles susan* sorry I forget that we're all over the world on this. I do understand that people have jobs and need to sleep, I just got used to someone being here whenever I logged on. It was the one place that I wouldn't be lonely and could distract myself from my thoughts by trying to offer support to others, so I was just a bit deflated and lonely....sorry.xxx

CrazyHayley 16-07-2008 04:36 PM

aha! Alexx!!!! did you manage to get any sleep the other night?

CrazyHayley 16-07-2008 04:47 PM

i've gotta get away from infront of the computer for a bit, seizing up and in a lot of pain, but i'll prob be back online later, so i'll leave you in the active sense, but mentally I'm still in the ward with you all. xxx

blondiebear 16-07-2008 06:18 PM

I understand. When I log on say around 8pm my time, and try to go into chat, i listen to a lot of teens who are up at 4am just messing around and calling each other names. Amusing for about oh 4 minutes.
I don't care if i'm talking to teens in chat, but i like it if it is support.

I work from home so i do have some flexibility but I also go to four aa meetings a week, each is 90 minutes long, and then there is travel time.

I try to check in every day though, even when i'm on holiday.

~*forever_broken*~ 16-07-2008 06:49 PM

*curls up in her corner with a blanket*

I've been sick since last night and woke up this morning feeling SO much worse than I have as of late... Ugh I just want to die :crying:

blondiebear 16-07-2008 07:09 PM

*takes a cup of nice hot tea to Ally*

It is so humid around here!

I have a friend who is coming over today. He takes the bus and I pick him up at the bus station. But I have a client coming over. So my friend says he'll go grocery shopping at the local specialty store. He shops like a girl. I shop like a guy. I've been to the store just yesterday and I don't want to wait. And he's being a pest about it, like he won't just take the extra bus. Uh Excuse me? what part of client appointment do you not understand? What part of i need to plan to be here an hour on either side of the planned appointment is too difficult for you?

Detour. Derail 16-07-2008 08:08 PM


Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 926602)
aha! Alexx!!!! did you manage to get any sleep the other night?

Nope...and I didnt get to sleep til about 4am last night...

zowie 16-07-2008 08:28 PM

Hi people. How's everyone doing?

I went to A&E today. Phoned the mental healthline and they told me to go to A&E and if they didn't get a call from a&E saying I was there in half an hour, they'd call the police and send them round my house.
So I went to A&E. They talked to me for a while and gave me a lorazepine (sp?) So I've just taken, an olanzapine that and my evening meds and am hoping to fall asleep soon.

*Snuggles up in the corner reading a book*

1ofmany 16-07-2008 08:35 PM

I got to sleep at about midnight last night (4 and a half hours sleep before work yay!) But i had a wierd dream about pengiuns living in my town like normal birds but the pidgeons are big and fat and kept picking on them....

Detour. Derail 16-07-2008 08:41 PM

Everywhere I look...hearts and couples...great...because I dont feel alone right now..
Im fine :]

Auburn Shadow 16-07-2008 08:45 PM

*hugs everyone*

No words.... sorry. Just lots and lots of *hugs and cuddles*

lil-princess 16-07-2008 09:02 PM

*Sending you all tons on hugs*

I'm not doing to good today :( please let me just fade away please.


Detour. Derail 16-07-2008 09:12 PM

*cuddles Hana for comfort*

effervescence 16-07-2008 10:38 PM

my psychologist says she won't tell the psychiatrist what i need for my plan if i tell her. but then, she would have to tell someone, so who would she tell?


Casper_Fading 16-07-2008 11:29 PM

*cuddles all*

blondiebear 17-07-2008 06:15 AM

The client was not happy with the stuff. Got paid only about 2/3 of it since the serviettes were not the right size. I have the size in my notes. But since he wasn't happy...
My friends came down and did take the extra bus, bless them.

I'm having some fear of financial insecurity. I have to have my psych meds refilled by friday night. We've been waiting for the new insurance card so husband phoned, the insurance has no record of us. But to talk to the pharmicist and learn what my meds actually cost? For two of the four meds, the cost per month for each medicine is as much as our mortgage payment. Scaaaarrrry.

I did the inventory on myself on why i said the rude stuff at the meeting on Tuesday. Sigh. I almost SI'd over what was happening though, so I had to figure out why I was so upset. Now I realise why.

I'm blue. Tired. No work coming in for several days. There is also other uncertainty.
I'm also okay. Safe.

Jetforce 17-07-2008 06:16 AM

*cuddles every1 in the psych ward and leaves some hot chocolate for ppl*

zowie 17-07-2008 08:38 AM

Waiting for dad to leave so I can OD.

irkeninvader 17-07-2008 09:00 AM

Zowie hun please don't. Can you speak to the hospital and ask them to let you stay for a while so you're safe? *hugs*

zowie 17-07-2008 09:10 AM

Just ODd, only on herbal sleeping pills as they were the only things that aren't hidden from me. Don't know what to do next, dad's due home any minute and I think he'll be angry.

irkeninvader 17-07-2008 09:43 AM

Can you talk to him about how bad you feel? Please look after yourself hun *hugs*

Jetforce 17-07-2008 09:47 AM

*cuddles zowie*

Do try and tell ur dad wat happened....and try to explain to him wat u did and like jess said...maybe try and talk to him about how u feel?

tc there xx

Casper_Fading 17-07-2008 09:50 AM

tell him? go back to hospital... cuddle someone? *hugs*

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