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Damnation. 16-02-2009 10:33 PM

Stresssssssssed.

Wildly: New place is okay, thanks. A tip, but okay

Jade: The move was stressful, lol, but the worst of it is out of the way and done with now, thank ****

*Hugs all* Sorry, I don't have the patience or the concentration to make a load of individual replies today

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 10:42 PM

Hugs to you Dayna, Put your feet up and relax xxx

They say moving is one of the stressful things you can do xxx

< helps unpack > xxx

MammaMia 16-02-2009 11:15 PM

Moving is VERY VERY stressful.
I've moved 5 times already.
Mum's moved at least 10 times, if not more!!!
We were looking into moving last year, for several reasons, but that fell through, though if my Dad loses his job, we could be looking at having to move though the encomincal crsis is pretty *****.

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 11:23 PM

Wow thats a lot of moving, Helen < fingers crossed > that you wont have to move again xxx

Damnation. 16-02-2009 11:25 PM

Jade: Thanks *hugs back*

Helen: Christ alive o____o;; I never want to move again. I think I'd go completely loopy if I had to move five times D: *hugs you too*

Snuffles 16-02-2009 11:42 PM

Bye everyone =( I'll be back one day =( Take care *cuddles*

Dayne good to see you back!!! Hopefully when I get back we'll have a place =)

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 11:43 PM

Take care Snuffles xxx Miss you xxx

Damnation. 16-02-2009 11:50 PM

*Cuddles Katie* Hope to see you soon <3

How're you holding up, Jade?

Tears of Solitude 16-02-2009 11:54 PM

Dayna Im doing better today thank you xxx
Thanks for asking xxx

How are you doing????

Damnation. 17-02-2009 12:00 AM

Glad to hear it, and you're welcome. Between friends **** and our old landlord, I'm stressed to high hell

MammaMia 17-02-2009 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tears of Solitude (Post 1430096)
Wow thats a lot of moving, Helen < fingers crossed > that you wont have to move again xxx

It sure is a lot of moving. I will have to move again at some point *sighs*

Quote:

Originally Posted by .Poisonous.Cyanide. (Post 1430102)
Helen: Christ alive o____o;; I never want to move again. I think I'd go completely loopy if I had to move five times D: *hugs you too*

Don't blame you hun!! *cuddles* I wasn't too thrilled at having to move a sixth time last year but then we backed out anyway because of all this crap with money atm. But this is the house I've lived in longest..10 years :blink:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snuffles (Post 1430148)
Bye everyone =( I'll be back one day =( Take care *cuddles*

Missing you already Katie :'(

Damnation. 17-02-2009 12:39 AM

Helen: Eeeee, I'd hate to leave somewhere after 10 years D:

Ah crap, the dog wants a walk. Back soon

Eclectica 17-02-2009 01:01 AM

Head hurts. dissociated. vision keeps wanting to slip. they want control. urgh. sick of it. stressed. angered.

Kahlia1981 17-02-2009 01:48 AM

*leaves hugs for all*

Am just going to disappear into a corner for awhile okies ??

GrayStoke 17-02-2009 04:26 AM

Thanks for the hugs. That was neat. It did make me feel better. Even for the moment. So thanks.

Damnation. 17-02-2009 04:38 AM

Wooo.

Needs to rant, and dunno how to start myself off =D

wildly insane 17-02-2009 08:33 AM

*hugs people* Poe welcome *offers tea and cake*
*hugs Dayna* hope you get to de-stress soon
*hugs Jade* glad you're feeling a bit better I hope it keeps going that way
*finds kahlia in the corner and offers a big hug*
*hugs Kat*doesn't sound fun, no words, just hope.
*hugs Helen**hugs MaryAnne**hugs Chkymnky**hugs Nikki*
*hugs Secrets* hope you're doing okay.
*hugs Katie* good luck

am doing okay, feel like im in a bit of a nowhere place right now.

leaves a variety of assorted muffins - there are even sugar free ones but I don't think they taste as good

chkymnky 17-02-2009 10:51 AM

*leaves a hug for everyone*
thanx for the hugs guys xxx

chkymnky 17-02-2009 10:52 AM

:-D mmmmmmmmm thanx *spots the bluberry muffin*

Damnation. 17-02-2009 03:39 PM

*Hugs all*

Wildly: Chance would be a fine thing, but thanks, lol.

* * *

...I hate that I still love him. And I feel so stupid bitching about it, considering the seriousness of other **** that's been going on, blah blah. And here's me essentially going 'OMFGBOYPROBLEMS?!' like a Goddamn kid. It just...it hurts. It keeps hitting me at the most unexpected moments. Usually, anyway. The past few days again, it's been bothering me solidly. I'm so sick of hurting because of him.

Restricting contact with him doesn't help, either, because then I miss him. I got to experience that when I was offline thanks to the move. Yes, I missed everyone, but my God, I really missed him too, and what the **** for?

I'm a stupid, naive little girl, an idiot who craved love too much, and blinded herself to the very real possibility that things just might've been going wrong. I was scared to think that I might've been losing him, and so I ignored it. I knew, deep down, I knew that he didn't love me any more, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. I don't even know what it is that's made me so...wanting love. I've no idea. And I'm a whore. A pathetic, wasteful little whore. I took...pictures that he wanted, even though he knew that I was uncomfortable with it. I did that for him, just for his damned lust. So yes. No two ways about it, I'm a ****ing whore.

'I don't understand how you've done
These things to me
I can not comprehend your lack
Of loyalty

For you I would have shaken down the
Heavens from the sky
But it seems my love was stronger than
This love of yours that died

Did you think it wouldn't hurt?
Did you think I wouldn't feel
when the world came falling down?
Or maybe you didn't think at all
And that's why I feel what I feel now
Did you think I wouldn't fall?
Did you think I wouldn't cry?
Did you think I wouldn't beg
you to stay?
One of these days you're gonna realise
Just what you've thrown away
'.

The mental images of suicide are coming back, too. Overdosing, hanging. I want to SI so much. And not just cutting, either. I want to bitch and rant about the...other means, but that'd break the ****ing tipsharing rule. So I guess I'd best stfu about that.

Urges won't leave me alone again. To swallow every pill in the house. I keep wanting to cut my arm open, but I don't have the physical strength to do so. I just...I don't even know any more. I fail. I'm sick of it all. I don't even remember what else I had to say


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