*hugs all*

I've been on hold with the suicide crisis line for half an hour.... *sigh* 2am and I'm barely holding it together

*Hugs Kahlia* That seems a little odd that they would keep people on hold for that long, but in the meantime, you have us to talk to if it's any use.

Hey Nicole! *Hugs* Sorry I died, I had to go and get ready for my mate's 16th, but I'm glad you had Helen to help you instead :)

I'm alright today, last night's party was awesome and I want to go back there and do some more raving :D There wasn't even any alcohol, but it helped that I knew and liked most of the songs and that everyone there was the definiation of insanity. We actually had a sing along rave to 'How to Save a Life'. It was epic :)

*hugs kahlia* i'm sorry you're struggling so much, its stupid that they would be taking so long when you are obviously at risk! we are here if you need to talk though.x
*hugs lia* lol, thats ok, me and helen had a nice long chat, and i feel a lot better now :D i'm glad you had fun at the party, and i know the feeling of wanting to go back, i feel like that about the party i went to a couple of weeks ago, although i think if i stayed any longer i would've regretted it because i had already drank SO much i the time i was there (and danced to the macarena on stage whilst being filmed, badly aswell :/) LOL!

*Hugs Lindsay* Thankyou

*Hugs Lia* Thankyou too

I'm just back from visiting my Grandma is Hotpital , she had her eyes closed the whole time and was breathing fast and shallow and was pretty unresponsive , I was shocked by how bad she is :( I leaned over and said "goodbye Grandma" and she turned her head a little in my direction , My Mum said that we have to be prepared that things might start packing up ( that she might die ) . She is 95 and smoke a LOT of her life. I'm pretty tearful I just didn't expect her to be so bad , thats just not my Grandma :(

SO

If you're alright with it , positive thoughts and prayers for my Grandma please.

*hugs mark REALLY tightly* oh hun, i'm so sorry! *sends positive thoughts for mark and especially his grandma.* how are you apart from the obvious? is there anything else we can do? you can PM me whenever you like *hugs*

*hugs Mark* I'm thinking about you and your family.

Oh Mark :( I know how you feel. When my Gran was in hospital last year following a major operation, she was really poorly for a couple days so my Mum wouldn't let me see her like that. Even when I did see her, she really wasn't well. Am thinking of you guys.

Nicole, I'm glad our little (well long :P) chat helped last night. It certainly helped me too *squishes* Plus I had a chat with my best friend earlier today about some silly things that were upsetting me and I feel better for it. My head feels a lot clearer today :D

Kahlia, I'm sorry they kept you waiting. Hope they responded soon after your post and helped you. *hugs*

Lia, essays suck!! *hugs*

*hugs everyone*

I'm sorry Mark. I can't say anymore than that because if I start I will get upset, but I do know how you feel. *Hugs and positive thoughts*

I was alright, but then, well, nothing even happened. I can't explain it because it's me, myself and I and would just confuse everyone else.

*hides*

Ok ignore fb, no longer lonely. You alright Nicole?

lol lia.
not really :( why is it i can be happy all day, and then it gets dark and my mood just drops? :(

Sadly mental health can be like that Nicole :( *cuddles* Do you know why it's dropped?

*hugs Mark* Sending positive thoughts your way.
*hugs everyone else*

I'm just waiting... things have to get better. yes?

*hugs helen* not really. i think its because of college tomorrow, as much as i love it, i still struggle with it :( REALLY not having a good night, and want to ask a question but i'm pretty sure it's against the rules :(

If I can be of any use, you can PM me the question if you like Nicole. I'm back btw, if you hadn't already noticed.

*Hugs Felicia* Things do eventually get better, it just takes a lot of time and patience. Like my English essay earlier today.

*Hugs Helen*

Thankyou everyone for your kind words/thoughts/vibes/energy sent this way :) It really heartens me to know I've such wonderful friends :)

*hugs mark* we are all here for you hun, remember that.x
*hugs lia* i PM'd you. :(

:) I know right Mark? We're fantastic ;)

lol lia, you're so big headed! :P XD (i'm joking of course) everyone in this ward is fantastic, i dunno what i'd do without you guys.x

Lol, so am I Nicole. I don't really think I'm fantastic, quite the opposite. But I do however, love my wardies. Here, I can be open about my feelings (well, as open as I'll ever get) without being worried that you'll judge me and nor do I have to panic that I am going to make people worry too much because you all come on here knowing how everyone is so it isn't like woah...

*Hugs lia* exactly, its nice to know that everyone is non-judgmental and caring, i dont think i could live without the ward now....
by the way, if you read this before the PM i just sent you TRIGGER WARNING, on that message, i put it on there but couldnt work the hide box, so thought i'd warn you on here too.

*hugs everyone tight*

*hugs louise* how are you tonight?

*Hugs the ward goodnight*
Thankyou all for all your birthday wishes and again for your kindness :) This ward rocks !! 3 words to sum it up :)

*hugs mark goodnight* sleep well hun.x

Nu-night Mark. Sleep well. Your birthday's over :) You survived! Woo!

The task bar icon for RYL is a santa hat. This makes me happy :)

heh. ward is very quiet tonight. and what lia? lol

You know when you load an internet browser? And there's a little icon at the top of your screen where it tells you what website you're on? The RYL one is a santa hat...or is my laptop just weird?

*cuddles everyone*

Mark - i know i wasn't around, but i am so glad that you made it through your birthday today. Good job!

Sorry everyone, I haven't been in town the past few days so not been on a computer much.

*hugs lia, nicole, and louise* since they last posted on this page. *hugs everyone else*

I'll try to catch up later tonight, probably while all my UK friends are sleeping lol.

Hey guys, sorry I've not been about, been having some issues (ha) at home, well even more issues... So sorry for not being about, not much to say either. Sorry. *hugs* x

I'M SO ANGRY.
I need to calm down before I make myself sick. (Not purging or anything)

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

*hugs ward*

*hugs ward* lia, i think its just your laptop XD
*i STILL cuddling helen tightly* what happend hun?

*hugs Nicole tightly still*

Someone posted a status on facebook about how people on benefits (well they meant those on jobseekers but it wasn't clear) should earn their right to get it like through volunteering and stuff.

I thought they were including all benefits, so I started sharing my opinion because I disagreed with it at that point, as people who genuinely can't work shouldn't have to earn their right to DLA etc in my opinion. Also a lot of people I feel will have already worked at some point in their life.

But she went ballistic and I apologised for getting it wrong and then it just got into personal attacks with her friends joining in :(

*still hugs helen tightly* aaw hun, i'm sorry, sometimes facebook is more trouble than its worth :/
that was wrong of them to get into personal attacks, and wrong that her friend should get involved. if i was you i would block/report her. *hugs*
eurgh. i wish this ****ING feeling would go away :(

*hugs tightly still* Facebook sure is more trouble than its worth. Ironically there was about 2 more comments or so after I deleted her & now it's stopped. It was wrong to get into personal attacks. I know sometimes people don't like being disagreed with or misunderstood but there's no need to get personal. I've deleted her anyway, may end up blocking her & one or two others. *hugs* What feeling do you wish would go away sweetheart? Sorry if I keep going quiet, trying to do loads at once.

*hugs tightly some more* well done for deleting her. some people are just so stupid. :(
i'm sorry, i really cant type it out again, it's in my R/V thread if you want to read it, if you dont it doesnt matter. (might be triggering though so be careful if you do decide to read it)

*hugs tightly some more* Thanks darling. I'll go read it now sweetheart & come back here to reply x

Nicole, firstly, I think you might need to remove the number of cuts as I think it's against the rules & I don't want you to get into trouble. Please get your cuts seen to if they need medical attention & look after them. Can you try stop cutting yourself? What's making you want to hurt yourself so much & why do you want to die now? Sorry for all the questions xx

oh :/ i didnt think it was against the rules on R/V, just in the general forums :/ will remove it in a min. they dont need medical attention and i am looking after them, but i don't know whats going on :'( i just can't seem to stop, the urge just wont go away, nothings working anymore and its scaring me. i don't feel like i can stay safe for much longer, i mean, safe as in, alive. i dont know how i'm still triggerd after that much? its not working anymore! :'( *cries*

The rules affect all parts of RYL. Thought I should let you know. I know you wouldn't have meant to break it otherwise. It's okay to get confused about it. I'm glad they don't need medical attention. Do you think you could move the tool you're using to somewhere you can't reach or throw it away? You can keep yourself alive sweetheart. It's an incredibly massive battle sometimes & you don't know how to keep going. But you just have to keep breathing and seeking help and stuff. Sorry am useless with words tonight.

*hugs* thanks hun, i changed it. i cant throw the tool away, i would just panick more :( i'm trying really hard but i just can't do this anymore.
its ok that you dont know what to say, i wouldnt either, i'm sorry for being so selfish and bringing it up when you were upset :( *hugs*

You're not being selfish. I'm glad you could share it with me. Don't worry about me, I've calmed down now, still calming down, but much calmer than I was. Please try not to hurt yourself anymore than you have done tonight. Give your body a chance to heal. Can you try that for me? *hugs tightly*

*huggles everybody*

I was on hold with the suicide crisis line for over 2 hours before I hung up last night ... I tried to watch a show that always makes me laugh and it didn't even raise a smile from me. I thought about waking my housemate up but decided he needed his sleep as he had to be up early this morning. I thought of ringing the other crisis line, but it gets transfered through to the hospital after 9pm which is useless. The only good thing that came out of it was that I finally gave my housemate the dangerous stuff for my suicide plan this morning because I realised how close I came.

It's a sad case when you need someone IRL to talk to and there is just no-one there ...

*cuddles kahlia* i mostly responded in your support thread, so i won't be repetitive, but thinking of you hun.

*hugs nicole tight* i'm sorry you had such a rough evening hun. You can get through this. Sorry I don't have much advice :-/ but keep talking to anyone/all of us on here, we will always listen.

*cuddles helen* good for you on deleting that person. Personal attacks are so unnecessary. Glad that you were able to calm down a bit afterwards. You know that those type of people are not worth it. (although understandably upsetting)

I feel majorly ugly tonight... inside and out.

*hides*
i really can't go to college today, i cant! :(

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Kahlia* Thats HUGE that you gave your suicide supplies to your house mate , Well done you :-)

Sorry for the scant post.

The Hospital ran at 10pm last night , my parents went to my Grandma . It's seeming that it's just a matter of time until she dies ( I hope that doesn't trigger , if so let me know and I'll edit) :( Hugs would be VERY appreciated

*hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky* *hugs marky*

Thankyou very much Julie , all the colours !!!!!! *Hugs*
Thankyou for the PM too :)

My Grandma Has Died .....................Sorry I needed to tell someone, I rang my friend and Now I'm telling you guys Sorry *Cry*

*hugs mark tight* i'm so sorry. remember we are here if you need anything.