|
*Hugs Crimson* I'm okay , one minute then horrible the next , I injured in a bad moment :( Now I'm numbish.sorry
|
hugs mark, here if you want to talk.
I'm so so |
*Hides in the fort with Julie and Sam.*
*Hugs Mark* Do you know what triggered this? I am sorry you're feeling so low. *Hugs Nicole* I'm sorry it was so dreadful :( I imagine I would hate that too, only I would never in a million years have my mum at one of them things. I'm Lia by the way Sam. I don't really know what to say about myself right now. I'm so worried about my friend. She has had the shittiest day ever, and I am not even kidding. She's been in the school medical room half the day, crying. I have never seen her like that and it scares me what's going on in her life right now. This whole thing is just mad. I thought I knew her, I thought I knew her family. |
Hey Louise :) *Hugs* I just , well am not taking my birthday and the 9th in a heroic fashion .
EDIT , Also My Grandma is sick in hospital and has been for a couple of weeks :( So am worried |
Peaks and Troughs *Sigh*
|
*Hugs Lia* You just have to be a friend and be there for your friend :)
|
u wanna come in my fort mark
|
Yes may I Julie ?
|
*Finds a corner in Julies Fort , curls up and tries to snooze*
*Night Night ward mates:)* |
*Hugs Mark* We'll all be here to support you on your birthday and you say you have people IRL who can help you through it as well. It won't be the easiest day, but you'll get through it. I know you will. And think of the day you set to commit suicide as an achievment. It shows how far you've come that that is no longer your plan.
I'm trying, it's just I don't know what to do. Her mum, her reliable, efficiant, organised mum is suicidal and thinking of leaving her dad, who she doesn't get on well with. My friend is extremely quiet and shy and I don't think she would cope without her mum. If her mum leaves, she won't come back and my friend's dad is thinking about moving to Egypt, to live with cousins she hates thousands of miles away from everything she knows. And he's blaming her for everything. I found all this out this morning, and so did she. I don't know how to help, I've said I will be there for her, and given her several hugs and a shoulder to cry on, but I don't know how much more I can do but I feel so useless. |
*hugs ward*
Wow Lia your friend really has had the shittiest day. Has she any other support other than you? Mark, you'll get through your birthday & the 9th. Try not to think about it if you can. |
*cuddles everyone tight* thinking of all of you.
Useless at the moment. |
*Hugs Laura* you're not useless hun :)
*Hugs Helen* Thankyou :) *Hugs Lia* Thankyou too :) |
Laura, you're not useless at all *cuddles tight*
Mark, you're welcome *cuddles* *hugs ward* |
not useless laura <3
*curls up in corner tiredly* class... woo >< just wanna sleep |
Anyone about for a little chat ? even if it is going over old ground . Sorry
|
I am here.
|
Hey Louise :) How are you? I am worried , I cut last night , don't worry I looked after okay , but I am getting more and more anxious over my birthday and the 9th as they approach and I think I am going to be asking for a LOT of support here in the ward butI don't want to ask for too much as I don't want to piss anyone off , I have appoinments at 2pm,2pm,3pm and 4pm on the 9th and my social worker is back at work and visiting me on the 8th and I have the number for a 24 hour mental health helpline for the evening I'm still anxious though , I do have Diaz which I am going to rely on on my birthday I think .
|
you will not piss anyone off, we want to support you. what is making you anxious about your birthday
|
I don't want to come over as monopolising the chat :S
I'm worried about being 30, I probably will want to cut but I'll be at my parents so I can't really . How can I be 30 and my life revolve around , Mental illness , S.I. and alcohol ? when I am 30 I will have been cutting for 16 years ! That scares and overwhelms me. |
It's understandable that it scares and overhelms you, but your not alone and maybe in one way it is could that you will be with your parents least you will not be alone. And also you have us.
|
*Hugs Louise* Thankyou :)
|
be gentle with yourself and take things easly.
|
Being hard on myself is a trait , my support workers and Nurse have said , does that come over ? I will try and be gentle to myself :)
|
*Hugs and spots Crimson* How are you today ?:)
|
Well I'm off to my parents for the weekend , I'd better turn off my computor in readyness , Will try and be on on my parents lappy :)
|
bye mark <3 you can message me anytime, but no one will get pissed off at you, least i wont
|
*hugs Mark*
I dunno how I am yet this morning other than glad its Friday. Try to have a good time at your parent's place :) Maybe rather than thinking you will be a 30 yr old with mental health issues and SI you could think of your birthday as a milestone? Like "I made it to 30 and I'm still here fighting" kind of a thing? |
*huggles everyone*
|
Last night was horrific (and today too really)
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Crazy/triggering
So I might not be about much, but thanks for all being here for me. x |
*Hugs Heather * Thanks that means TONS :)
*Hugs Crimson* It IS a milestone , I'm almost 30 and I'm still standing , Thanks for that :) *Huggles Nicole* How are you tonight? *Hugs Sarah* I'm so so sorry you are having such a horrible time . I wish I could help more *Holds Sarah* |
*hugs sarah tightly* aaw sweetie, i'm sorry your family is being so awful! i really dont know what to say hun, and i know how hard it must of been to see all the police cars and the ambulance turn up. but just remember your fiance only did it because he cares about you. i'm really sorry they dont understand :(
*hugs mark* i'm ok thanks, had a bit of a bad time at college earlier, but my tutor was really understanding and she printed off some information for me and just told me to highlight the key points instead of making me research it all and put it all into my own words. and then i had a fun afternoon singing nursery rhymes to my friends stomach :D |
*cries* is awful here :(
Thanks for the support though. You're all amazing. I love you all. |
*hugs everyone*
|
*hugs lindsay* how're you today?
|
*gives everyone huggles and cookies/brownies*
Gah, I really do hate living a lie. Pretending all is okay when its really not. *sigh* its just not going to work out in the end that well at all for me. Too many people are getting on to me about doing this and doing that, or going back to the psych/getting on meds again when I clearly am too stubborn. I feel like yeling and screaming at them, but what does that do? *yells in here instead and sits down and curls up* Matt |
*hugs everyone tight*
|
*hugs helen* how're you tonight?
|
*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Helen* *Hugs Lindsay* *Hugs Matt* |
Nicole - I'm low & bored lol. You?
Mark - hugs back x |
*Hugs The Ward Goonight*
|
*cuddles Wardies* mum is now pretty much saying she wants to disown me and I have to decide between my fiance and uni... I told her I wouldn't leave my fiance and she went insane... Now doesn't want anything to do with me emotionally or mentally or anything like that. I don't know what to do anymore. Ugh... :(
|
Sounds like you don't need her in your life anyway sweetheart and not just saying that because of your post. I'm sorry but she has NO right to force you to choose between someone you love and education =/ *hugs* I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time of it.
*hugs Mark goodnight* |
*huggles all*
I want to disappear ... I just found out that my singing teacher has had another stroke .... she only had a stroke/heart attack a week or so ago. She's been locked in her house with severe depression for quite a while and now this ... I don't know. Maybe i'm just being selfish, but I just want to attack and destroy myself because I think that will make her better. *sigh* |
It won't make her better Kahlia & you know that deep down *hugs*
|
*walks in and looks left to write, and realises she can be herself. Starts to cry and her description of herself from her friends as "emotionally stunted" because she doesn cry quickly fades. She knows this is the one place where she feels more normal, can explain her worries and show emotion. Thank you*
|
*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but if you want to be with your fiance, then that's what you should do. I'm sure you've learned by now that things never turn out for the best when you allow other people to make the descions for you. Why do you have to pick anyway?
*Hugs Sunny if that's ok* Hey. I'm Lia. I feel like that about the ward too. It's the one place where I can at least sort of open up and be myself. *Hugs Kahlia* Helen's right, that won't make her better and can only make you feel worse in the long run. |
Just now, I asked a girl who I have never met if it was odd that I could relate to a fictional character more than anyone else in the world, and the fact that a 20 year old I met on the internet and have never seen IRL knows me far better than my best friends ever will. She said no, it was a good thing that I had a friend like that. How very wrong she was. She doesn't know how lonely this existance is. My friends, my family, they don't know me at all. No one IRL really does.
They think I am cold and uncaring. They think I'm content with my own life and love a laugh and joke. They think I can take the jokes and put downs without turning a hair, when really each tiny comment hurts and just makes me feel that little bit more worthless. I'm so lonely...I know I have you guys, and I love you and really appreciate the support, but it comes to something when this is the only form I have and you lot know me better than people who have lived with me for years. I'm so scared of letting go and being happy, my freedom is right at my fingertips, but I have no idea what will happen to me if I reach out and grasp it. Pain is all I have known for so long and I don't know what's outside it. This is my comfort zone and I don't know if I want to leave it. Leaving this means leaving the Ice Queen, and that's what scares me most because it's a part of me now and I don't know what I will do if all of that is stripped away. |
"I'm so scared of letting go and being happy, my freedom is right at my fingertips, but I have no idea what will happen to me if I reach out and grasp it. Pain is all I have known for so long and I don't know what's outside it."
know how you feel =\ and i wish i could help but here if you need someone to talk <3 love you <3 |
*Hugs Kahlia*
*Hugs Lia* *Hugs Sunny if okay* *Hugs Sarah* *Hugs Helen* *Hugs Heather* Well I'm at my parents *Happy Mask on* I'm sorry to here you guys have been having such a rough night :( On the up side My Grandma is out of hospital for what was going on 2 weeks :) |
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:33 PM. |
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.