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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 26-07-2010 05:45 PM

Hmm things are going crazy again, wish things would came down, there only so much I can take. * curls up and crys*

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 06:23 PM

*cuddles all* Am feeling overwhelmed myself... ugh. :(

Sorry for no individuals, except - Crimson, how you doing? And maybe you'd best ask someone else to look at your essays, I keep meaning to do it whilst I'm at my parents' but I never get much time on the computer to do so. :( I'm sorry. I feel like I'm letting you down. :( *gentle hugs*

I'm... exhausted. I took a short nap after walking to and from therapy, which was kind of draining. It seems like each week now I have a ton of stuff to tell her... which is draining in & of itself!!! I don't know why... it's like... this week was me applying for that job, the Abilify side effects, and a few other things (I think). Ughhh. :( *deep sigh*

I really want to play WoW but it feels like people in my new guild are now ignoring me for no reason... which is... very hurtful to say the least. I am pretty sure that they aren't doing it on purpose but still. Abilify side effects sez I!! (see back a few pages for my rant, which I hid so people not wanting to read about girly things wouldn't have to read) And I don't want to play on my "normal" server (Silvermoon-US) because, well, I want to take a break from it. I don't know. I feel like I'm being stupid... :(

*hides in a hole & cries*

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 06:25 PM

Ohh and Felicia I'm sorry that you & your fiancé are "taking a break." :( That doesn't make any sense to me... but anyway, will keep you in my thoughts. How are you holding up?? *gentle cuddles*

And how is everyone else?? *cuddles all 'round to those who want them*

*hides back in her hole & keeps crying*

PoisonedApple 26-07-2010 06:37 PM


Sorry for no individuals, except - Crimson, how you doing? And maybe you'd best ask someone else to look at your essays, I keep meaning to do it whilst I'm at my parents' but I never get much time on the computer to do so. :( I'm sorry. I feel like I'm letting you down. :( *gentle hugs*
I'm ok so far today...
You aren't letting me down, no need to be sorry. I know you're struggling :) *extra huggles*

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 06:42 PM

Updated r/v for the first time in like 5 days... :-S ...for those of you who want to read it, it's there... :(

Doikers 26-07-2010 07:10 PM

Just so you know I read your R/V thread April. It sucks when your guildies "ignore" you but I'm sure they're not doing so on purpose ,I'm sorry your meds are messing with you :( *Hugs*

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 07:24 PM

*hugs Mark back* They weren't ignoring me, it was just in my head... >_< ...just like so much stuff is. I asked the person who I initially whispered to get an invite to the guild, and she reassured me, which felt really good... then people talked some more later. Guess they were just busy earlier, heh. Silly brain of mine, always has to wander down the wrong path. :( And yeah, I wish that my meds weren't messing with me either but hey, what can you do... :( How are you doing, love? *curls up next to*

Jarrod called from work whilst on break and told me that he talked with a guy who was in the Air Force... about the army... and he (Jarrod) sounds a bit less determined now than he was about getting in. I don't know. It's like... every time I get "excited" or "hyped up" about something - a change, a new job, anything... I get let down. Maybe my expectations are always too high. I don't know. I just know that now that I've committed my thoughts & actions towards letting Jarrod prep for basic training (and yes, if he wants a higher paygrade than what soldiers initially start out with, he does have to prep - it's called the Future Soldiers Program)... I don't want him to back down. I don't think he will, it's just... I can't help but worry about it. I don't know. It kind of hurts. Also, in the 10 minutes we had to talk he hardly let me get a word in. I appreciate that he had a lot to tell me but... I wanted to talk with him, not just listen to him, if that makes sense...

Sorry for whinging so much... *hides in the warren & doesn't come out*

PoisonedApple 26-07-2010 07:38 PM

*sits in the warren with April*
I read your r/v too...
glad the guild is being better now.
sorry at a loss of what to say regarding Jarrod presently...

Louise 26-07-2010 07:41 PM

hugs everyone, I am only a PM away if anyone wants to talk

PoisonedApple 26-07-2010 08:00 PM

The following content has been hidden - Reason : whining and ranting
never before R did I wish someone would get fired. she doesn't do her own work (has messed up so much stuff half her duties were taken away... guess who got them..?), she's been demoted once already, constantly takes time off (often last minute), etc etc...
seriously. this is costing me more than a lack of time to do my own job... if i cover for her"meeting" this afternoon i can't take lunch at the end of the day to pay my electric bill... it needs paid and i've been so busy trying to get y work caught up and covering her job that aside from the one day last week i had to do lunch at the end of the day to register my kids in school i've been unable to do it. i can't make appts at the end of the day because of this crap with her always having appts and i can't at the start of the day because i've been given the duty of opening the front desk after r showed she can't be responsible enough to do her job. she doesn't have to do her job and help me catch up my office because she screwed up so much stuff in my office my boss doesn't allow her in there anymore, period. *screams to let out some stress*

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 08:10 PM

Aw Crimson, I'm sorry about all of that. Sounds like a right mess... wish I had advice or something other than just *cuddles* but I'll add in some *extra cuddles* so maybe that'll help a bit? Also, whinge/rant all you need to, that's what we're here for. :) God knows I whinge/rant enough, hah. :-X And it's okay, you don't need to worry about anyone but yourself for the time being... focus on getting through each day, etc., and remember - take it a day at a time. *snuggles*

*glomps Oliver, Jill, & Mark, as I spy them!!* :)

PoisonedApple 26-07-2010 08:35 PM

it's just so frustrating... she's almost twice my age and has more experience i should not have to deal with this crap. and i swear if my mil can't run me to the electric at lunch and we get shut off i'm gonna lose it...

MammaMia 26-07-2010 08:38 PM

*hides in the warren*


misskitty112 26-07-2010 08:40 PM


Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2419365)
Ohh and Felicia I'm sorry that you & your fiancé are "taking a break." :( That doesn't make any sense to me... but anyway, will keep you in my thoughts. How are you holding up?? *gentle cuddles*

He's bad with saying what he wants. I know this is his way of saying it's over, he just thinks by making it seem temporary it wont hurt me as much.

I just want this after show depression to go away and everything to be normal. If my fiance doesn't want to come back, I just want to deal with only that... This is too much.

*hugs to everyone in the thread* I'll do individuals one day... I promise.

PoisonedApple 26-07-2010 09:13 PM

The following content has been hidden - Reason : long... continuation on earlier


You did not put a time down that you were leaving today so I don’t know. Please let Crimson know so that she can cover for you if needed. Are you planning on coming back?


Sent: Monday, July 26, 2010 11:51 AM
Subject: RE: this afternoon

Talk to S, she knows when I am leaving and for how long. S needs to determine what you will be covering.


Sent: Monday, July 26, 2010 11:14 AM
Subject: this afternoon

When do you need to leave for your meeting? What all do you think you’ll need me to cover?

can you slap someone with email? cuz i think my boss just email slapped R lol

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 09:47 PM

Lol, that's great, Crimson. :P *huggles*

Aw Felicia, I'm sorry. :( But if he won't come straight out & tell you, or if he won't stay with you, then was he the "right one" in the first place anyway? Just wondering/asking/pondering... hopefully that doesn't make it worse. :-S *hugs gently*

*cuddles Hels & hides with her* What's up, sweetie?

MammaMia 26-07-2010 09:50 PM

Was struggling with OD thoughts, seem to have quietened down but there are still there. Really missing my best friend, it's so quiet...

nicole94 26-07-2010 09:51 PM

*resumes hiding*

Louise 26-07-2010 09:54 PM

*hugs helen* we are here for you

SoMuchMore 26-07-2010 09:55 PM

*hugs april, crimson, mark, nicole, helen, felicia, louise, and everyone else that posted on pages before this one*

Sorry, not a long post i know.

*goes back to studying for graduate school exams*

Louise 26-07-2010 09:56 PM

*hugs Laura* good luck with the exam

MammaMia 26-07-2010 10:00 PM

*hugs all*

nicole94 26-07-2010 10:04 PM

*notes that the ward is turning into the hugs thread then goes back in to hiding*

Doikers 26-07-2010 10:09 PM

Ugh SO triggered.......sorry I'm not doing replies , I'm pre-drained for my psych Dr appointment in 3 days or so , been taking Diaz everyday , thats not good or usual for me
*Hugs wardmates*

Louise 26-07-2010 10:13 PM

*hugs mark* we are here for you anytime you need to talk

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 10:21 PM

Guhh so frustrated!! I was in the shower after Jarrod took his run, and he said, "Well, if you don't come with me on runs, maybe you could take showers while I'm gone, so we have more time together in the evenings?" to which I replied (probably not too tactfully >_<), "It's not like we really spend time together anymore anyway." And then he left the room... But what I said is true. At least, to me. We don't spend time together anymore. In the same room, sure - like right now. He's playing his bass, I'm typing on here, but we're not really talking. Even he commented in the shower, "Do we have anything to talk about?" ..............


dark faery princess 26-07-2010 10:24 PM

Hey, sorry to crash...

Just wanted to send a message to Nicole. I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about what happened on the bpd thread. I really shouldn't have started an argument over the top of you; I was kinda trying to stick up for u, but I think it all got a bit out of hand, so I'm really sorry about that. There are many issues on the BPD thread at the moment, and I'm really sorry I dragged your name into it.

Personally, after everything I doubt I'm going to go in there much any more, so if part of the reason is cos of me, then don't let that hold you back!

Again, I'm sorry I dragged you into something that really had nothing to do with you. If you ever wanna chat about BPD stuff, but dont wanna go back to the thread, then feel free to PM me.


~Grace~ 26-07-2010 10:27 PM

hi...nicole? this is what i posted on the thread...

Nicole hun...its not your fault. Please keep posting, we are a friendly bunch. Its just that not so long ago someone badly lied to us on here and its messed things up quite a bit. You have done nothing wrong hun and I would love for you to stay with us xx

Please pm me if you ever wnat/need to chat...please? xxxx

nicole94 26-07-2010 10:36 PM

(to the above posts)
thanks for taking the time to come and find me in here, i could see you were trying to stick up for me and im not annoyed with you, i just feel like maybe it was a bad idea posting, its just i dont really understand what BPD is at the moment, or what the hells going on in my head, but obviously i had pretty bad timing! thanks again, i will PM you if i need to. x

Scarletdreamer 26-07-2010 11:03 PM

*hides in the warren after sending a hug to Nicole*

Suppertime methinks... although I'm not sure what we're having. >_<

nicole94 26-07-2010 11:06 PM

*hugs april lots*

Kahlia1981 27-07-2010 12:15 AM

*huggles everybody*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies - just not able to keep up.
Psychiatrist appointment tomorrow - OzCare appointment today.
Just want to curl up and go back to bed.
Currently taking 8-10mg of Xanax daily with 50mg of beta-blockers .... not a good sign.

Sorry to hear everyone is struggling - wish I could send you magickal faerie dust or something ....
*leaves cuddles and safe love and care packages on the table for everyone*

nicole94 27-07-2010 12:35 AM

*hugs kahlia* how you feeling? i know what you mean about not being able to keep up!
argh. the slugs are coming to get me :/

xXMessedUpXx 27-07-2010 12:38 AM

*ditto being open to PMs if anyone wants to*

Thinking of you all. *hugs*

frenchhorn 27-07-2010 12:40 AM

*sits in corner*

I'm really worried about Alex, he is miles away and really depressed, he said he couldn't be bothered anymore and was really low earlier and he said he isn't safe. hate not being able to do anything.

I'm also sinking into a depression

nicole94 27-07-2010 12:41 AM

hey, how you doing today, i saw that vid you posted on the BPD thread, i see what you mean about being able to relate, i had been feeling like a bit of a freak but it really helped. x

xXMessedUpXx 27-07-2010 12:49 AM

It is hard knowing someone is feeling so bad and that there's not a lot you can do to help. My family are feeling that way with my great aunt, she has depression too and is in a bad phase but if she can't help herself she's going to have to go back to hospital.

Scarletdreamer 27-07-2010 01:03 AM

*cuddles Kahlia, Oliver, Nicole, & Beki (am I spelling that right??)*

Yeah, this thread can kinda move quickly sometimes. Hah. To put it mildly. :P

Good luck with your appts etc., Kahlia. Sorry you've been so anxious lately... :(

Oliver, sorry to hear about Alex. :( And also about you. I wish we could help more... :( *extra cuddles*

I'm really tired right now. I don't know why. I feel so ick. :( So warm & so tired & all. Just am so sick of life at the moment, although am not close to suicide (I don't think anyway, haha, could change at the blink of an eye though).

*hides in a hole* :crying:

Doikers 27-07-2010 10:27 AM

*Hugs April* I hope you sleep well (Dreamless) and feel less ick this morning

*Hugs Beki* How are you today?

*Hugs Nicole* Cool you have friends on the BPD thread , thats good :)

*Hugs Oliver*Sinking into depression is the worst I hope it doesn't come to anything and I also hope Alex is ok , you must miss him terribly :(

*Hugs Kahlia* I hope your psych Dr appointment go's ok for you today :)

*Hugs Louise* thankyou , that means a lot :)

Scarletdreamer 27-07-2010 11:20 AM

*cuddles Mark* Good morning!! (& good morning/evening/afternoon to everyone else, too :) hehe) I did sleep better last night, although I had weird dreams... but I think the nightmare phase is passing, which is super duper good!! :D I just got up about 10 minutes ago, hah, and it's 6:20am now. Still kinda sleepy-eyed. *yawn* And yawn-y. Hmmmm. What are your plans for the day?? (and everyone else's, too?? *cuddles all*)

MammaMia 27-07-2010 11:26 AM

*curls up*

Scarletdreamer 27-07-2010 02:13 PM

What's up, Hels? *cuddles gently*

I've been trying to figure out what to do with my day... I could go to my parents' but I don't know if I really want to. I mean, I do, but I'm tired and I don't know if I want to drive "that far" ... lol... I am so lazy. But so freaking tired!!! :(

And just a note to those WoW-players out there - don't try to balance playing on 3 different servers, EVER. Lol. It's harder than it looks, keeping up with everyone. >_< Well, as long as you're in guilds on all of those servers. Hah. And I am. So yeah... not the best but oh well, it is what it is & I have a "lot" of "friends" (mostly acquaintances but some are true friends)... whee. :)

So freaking exhausted... :'(

MammaMia 27-07-2010 02:18 PM

Female friend if you get my drift >_> Plus feeling low & this guy who was bothering me the other evening is still bothering me & today is talking about rape :/ Triggering me. Should stop texting.

nicole94 27-07-2010 02:21 PM

*hugs helen, april, mark and anyone else that might've been in since i last looked then curls up and hides*

MammaMia 27-07-2010 02:26 PM

*finds Nicole, hugs her and hides with you* What's wrong darling?

nicole94 27-07-2010 02:32 PM

im not sure if i wanna go tomorrow :( i mean, i wanna go, but im having so many panick attacks! :(

wolfos3d 27-07-2010 02:40 PM

Hey everyone. *cuddles* My meds are finally working so I'm not feeling quite as low as I have been. Unfortunately, it means I care about things enough again to actually bother panicing about them. Having said that, my freaking arms are gonna be on display in three weeks! Argh. Scary.

I have other stuff to panic about too, I'm just pretending it doesn't exist right now.

Where is it that you don't want to go Nicole? *hugs*

nicole94 27-07-2010 02:50 PM

im going on a 3 day trip to this adventure park thing with my DBT group, but its making me really panicky

MammaMia 27-07-2010 03:02 PM

That's understandable. I'm sure you'll have a good time if you go...

nicole94 27-07-2010 03:08 PM

i know, but i am having so many panick attacks! its never been this bad before :( i cut all up my right arm list night. i dont normally do that :(

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