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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

one_step_closer 19-07-2010 06:44 PM

Love is always welcome. How are you?

shadowedsoul 19-07-2010 07:18 PM

Hugs everybody, urgh today was so damn stressful so glad it almost over. Things are falling apart again not sure I care this time would be better to just let it.

MammaMia 19-07-2010 07:26 PM

*cuddles all*

Lia & April, since you both asked how I was, I'm really struggling. Bit suicidal. I'll be fine. How are you both *squishes*

misskitty112 19-07-2010 07:42 PM

Lindsay, I'm hanging in... hoping the next week or so goes by kinda fast so I can actually attempt to take care of myself again. How are you?

shadowedsoul, *hugs* I don't really know what to say, but if you need to vent or whatever you can PM me.

MammaMia, *hugs* I hope the suicidal feeling passes soon.

MammaMia 19-07-2010 07:45 PM

*hugs* Thank you, I'll be okay :)

Doikers 19-07-2010 08:02 PM

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Jill*

SoMuchMore 19-07-2010 09:27 PM

*hugs helen* Hope you are alright hun.

*hugs mark, lindsay, jill, april, felicia, lia, kahlia, crimson and everyone else*

*waves to Wishes (steph?)* i don't think i've introduced myself. I'm laura. *hands over some no-calorie cookies*

Scarletdreamer 19-07-2010 10:09 PM

I am utterly exhausted. Again. No, still, I should say. ARGH. :(

Landlord is supposed to be coming by alllll of the apartments and mobile homes he owns to show to a prospective buyer... for some reason I am nervous, although hopefully we will be moving out of here in a few months. I hate showing myself to people when I feel like I'm all worn down and not dressed for doing much in public (frayed shorts and a cami...). Oh well.

Lia, hon, you don't come across as being super happy or anything. Just the right amount of positivity for in here, I think. Also, I'm glad I could help last night (if I did...). *gentle hugs*

How is everyone doing? *feels all alone in the great echoing ward*

Have no idea what time the landlord will be here... or rather, the sales agent... said they'd start around 5pm but I don't know where they'd start, with the trailer park or the apartment building. Ugh. This is just a great huge bother!!!

*hides in a hole*

I'mJustMe 19-07-2010 10:12 PM

Sorry for lack of replies. I'm trying to agony aunt someone else right now whilst falling apart myself and being terrifed. Of both what I just watched and why it freaked me out so much. It shouldn't have done, it's just a TV show, it shouldn't have left me feeling like this. It scares me that it scares me if that makes any sense at all.

*Hugs to all who want them.*

Edit. I need to do something calming, something nice becasue I'm freaking quite badly here and have a urge to cut so it will all go away.

Another edit. I'll put Mamma Mia on, that's pretty cheery. Oh no, that upsets me. FML.

PoisonedApple 19-07-2010 10:34 PM

Hmmm... quiet in here today. I spent the first half of the day at the front desk and only missed a page.

SoMuchMore 19-07-2010 10:38 PM

I spy crimson and lia! *cuddles*

it is kind of quiet in here today. hope everyone is alright.

PoisonedApple 19-07-2010 10:39 PM

hmmm lia, have you watched the bounty hunter? it's a pretty funny movie. pretty new though...

Doikers 19-07-2010 10:42 PM

*Hugs April* I hope your landlord comes by soon

*Hugs Lia* I hope your urges pass and you are ok :)

*Hugs Crimson*

I'm up late watching a horror movie , CREEPY!!

Sorry for my scant replys :S

time to change 19-07-2010 10:48 PM

hey laura yeah i'm steph, sometimes it shows up and sometimes it doesnt :/.
*big huggles to everyone*
i will be on chat soon if anybody wants to talk, most probs in 3 or 4.
my left arm cant move, have had the cervical cancer vaccination today, and god, is it sore!!!
hope everyone is ok

Kahlia1981 19-07-2010 11:06 PM

April: You brought the biggest smile to my face in on of your posts back there. Pachelbels Canon (sorry about the spelling I'm in a rush as I have to leave to catch a bus soon) is one of my favourite songs of all time. I've played it - on pianoforte I believe - and won with it in the Eisteddfodeau before. It's just so darned beautiful. I'm so envious ... but in a good way. *great big hugs*

Crimson: I wish I was there so I could offer you some help with your IT troubles. That harddrive issue sounds complex. - Sorry, I should explain. My housemate and I do a lot of work with IT. We're both studying it extensively and build a lot of computer systems, both on demand (for students and staff at a local university and TAFE) and for businesses. I'm just sorry I couldn't be there to see if there was something we could help. The situation doesn't sound good. :-( *offers big hugs)

Hels: *cuddles you tightly* Sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with those suicidal urges again. Is there anything I can do to help? Feel free to PM me if you wish. I always try to keep up with what is happening with you, even if I am not always able to respond immediately. *gently covers you in warm hugs*

Steph, Felicia, & any other [relatiely] newbies that I have missed entering the ward: I wish to extend to you my welcome, and my introduction. My name is Kahlia - and feel free to use (and misuse) it however you like. I'm sorry for the belated responses to you. *bad me* But I have not been very well mentally for awhile. I hope you find in our lovely Virtual Psych Ward what you need - and what some of us, at least, cannot find in a real psych ward. . . people who understand, can trust and a place where we can open up.

I have to run as I have to catch a bus to go to the hospital for a 6 hour lecture on "What is Pain". *yawn* Already had 2mg of Xanax and starting to freak out again. But, it has to be done.

Wishing you all well, and once more unto the breach as they say.

*leaves cuddles and safe love and care packages on the table for all*

shadowedsoul 19-07-2010 11:11 PM

Hmm need to vent sorry not towards anyone here.

I have got not idea what's going on with you, how the hell did it get so messed up. You used to be so bright so full of life, now your Idk I'm worried but at the same time angry at you. Just want you back the same person you used to be , but I know I can't have you back and it kills me as I miss you.So come on B show us u can pull this back around because we all know were this is heading, so for your own sake please pull the back. =(

shadowedsoul 19-07-2010 11:12 PM

Sorry double post stuiped laptop. =(

PoisonedApple 19-07-2010 11:15 PM


Crimson: I wish I was there so I could offer you some help with your IT troubles. That harddrive issue sounds complex. - Sorry, I should explain. My housemate and I do a lot of work with IT. We're both studying it extensively and build a lot of computer systems, both on demand (for students and staff at a local university and TAFE) and for businesses. I'm just sorry I couldn't be there to see if there was something we could help. The situation doesn't sound good. :-( *offers big hugs)
*hugs back*
We got the video card working properly but I just don't see how I manage to keep killing the hard drives so fast... *shrugs* oh well. that fact along with the fact that D will never let me hear the end of it are simply the facts of life. my netbook though so far is a stand up machine. I've written 3 essays on it and am working on a book or two on it plus all the internet playing I do on it and it's up to the challenge so far... :)
*extra hugs for your lecture*

*huggles everyone* How's everyone's day going?

Scarletdreamer 19-07-2010 11:51 PM

Sales agent still not shown up yet and it's nearly 2 hours after she said they would. Jarrod's gone to do something else and it's such a ****ing WASTE OF TIME since we've spent nearly the whole day cleaning up the apartment a bit to look good. But, that being said, we did go out to lunch & bought Jarrod a (very nice starting) bass guitar. :D I'm so stoked for him, because he's always wanted a bass guitar & now he has one!! :) Not quite my style and a little too big for my hand (almost too big for Jarrod's!!), but at least it's music. :D

Kahlia, glad I could bring a smile to your face. I LOVE Pachelbel's Canon, have played it on violin at numerous weddings, etc. Just LOVE IT. :D It's so pretty. Of course, the cello part is really the boring part (probably the left hand bit on your version of it for piano, at least, that's what it is for mine), but with the cello carrying the melody, it shouldn't be so bad. :) I'm so glad that someone else appreciates it as well. :D *cuddles* Stay strong for the hospital bit, I'm sure you can do it. I know, rubbish advice but... I'll be keeping you in my thoughts/prayers. :)

Hels, I'm worried about you... *gentle cuddles* How are you feeling now?

Mark, maybe don't watch the horror movie if it's very creepy?? *cuddles* How are you doing otherwise?

Lia, how are you doing now, sweet? Hopefully a bit better... As far as comforting things go, how about a children's book? like Winnie the Pooh or Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle (if you've not heard of her & like children's books, you MUST MUST MUST look her up!!!!)... or maybe play some music that calms you down, or drink some chamomile tea with honey whilst reading a fun (NOT creepy :P) book. *gentle hugs* If you need to talk, I'm here. I think I know what upset you and I'm sorry about that - maybe stop watching that show for awhile?? just a thought...

Anyway. I'm trying to eat supper but it's not working too well... guhhh. :(

So warm. It's freaking hot outside today... glad when we went for lunch/guitar purchasing we took my car (J's car doesn't have functioning a/c but mine does!! :P)... although I drove at first then started feeling like I wasn't connected to parts of my body. Like my head was floating. Not lightheaded like dizzy-lightheaded, just... I don't know. It was REALLY weird. So I pulled over and let Jarrod drive the rest of the way... am such a wuss. :-/

*huggles and cuddles to all she's not mentioned*

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 12:06 AM

*hugs everyone before hiding away*

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 12:42 AM

*cuddles Laura* What's up, sweetie?

*spies Steph and gently glomps her* :) How are you doing now? any better than earlier?

time to change 20-07-2010 12:47 AM

shadowed soul - hope you feel a bit better after getting that off your chest, obviously i dont know whats gone on, but it is hard when someone leaves, i know that one.
scarlet dreamer - hope they turn up at some point, really annoying when they say a time and its hours later.
i dont feel as if i a really here atm, dont know what is happening... just feel... weird... need to eat something proper, but feel so sick. sometimes i wonder, would anyone notice if i wasnt here? i know thats not good, but that is the way i am feeling. i am so alone, everyone that means something are so may miles away. i know i sound pathetic, im sorry. think i just need a brain transplant, and maybe a heart, so that i wouldnt love the people i shouldnt. well i've moaned enough, apologies,
ps *gives ot plenty of love to those who want it*

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 01:00 AM

I keep sitting here trying to type out what is going on... I tried in my r/v too, thinking that I would be able to feel less restrained.... but my internal censor that is always on won't let me. Sorry if I am worried anyone. I'll be okay. I always am.

time to change 20-07-2010 01:06 AM

fallinstar0317 - its ok, we all get like that from time to time. just remember we are here when you are ready to talk. *snuggles*

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 01:15 AM

*cuddles Laura* maybe try writing out typing it somewhere no one will see... might get it off your chest and make you feel a wee bit better...

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 01:23 AM

i don't think i wanna fight the urges anymore...
*sits and waits*

frenchhorn 20-07-2010 01:27 AM

*hugs Crimson* keep going, you can fight the urges, we're all here for you.

taz35 20-07-2010 01:27 AM

*sits and waits with Crimson and offers her hugs* How are you?

*spies wishes* I don't recall ever meeting you. Hi, I'm Taz :)

Sorry for no other individual replies. 18 pages since I left is quite a bit to reply to :P But I did read them all! (At the rate of about a page per 10 minutes... kept getting distracted ><)

*runs off to update r/v*
*leaves extra special hugs on the table*

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 01:30 AM

DAMNIT I am so pissed off. And it's about something petty... :crying:

Sorry. I shouldn't post that. I'm okay, always am, always will be. No one worry about me please. :)

frenchhorn 20-07-2010 02:16 AM

*hugs April* whats happened? if it has pissed you off then it isn't petty.

*hugs Taz* how are you doing?

*hugs all* I shall do a proper reply when I am back at home and have time.

misskitty112 20-07-2010 03:19 AM

*hugs everyone*
I will come back and read when I am not so tired... Rehearsal has drained me.

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 03:25 AM

*hugs oliver* Hope your day is going alright.

*hugs april* i'm sure it wasn't petty hun. What happened?

*hugs taz* its okay, 18 pages is a ton to catch up on! Good to see you around though.

*hugs steph* how r u feeling now?

*hugs crimson* you can fight those urges. keep trying hun.

*hugs jill* hope that the venting helped. We are always here to listen.

*hugs kahlia* can i just say that I am super proud of you for getting out and still do things while you are struggling so much with anxiety. It really is awesome of you. Hope the class at the hospital goes okay.

*hugs felicia* Hope that the rehearsal went okay, sorry you are so tired.

I spy a jess! *hugs*

*sets out box of hugs for helen, mark, lia, and everyone else not around right now*

Wanted to get some individual replies in there before hiding away again.

The friend that I am always saying is going to come over to talk, came over tonight. He looked more concerned than need be. I'm not important. Ive lived a half life for the past 4 1/2 years and it has made me shrink more and more everyday. And when i leave town, I won't be scared to leave. But I am scared that I won't be sorry at all.


wolfos3d 20-07-2010 03:31 AM

*hugs Laura*

taz35 20-07-2010 03:57 AM

*hugs April* Like Oliver said... you wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't important. What's on your mind? And sometimes it's the petty things that make everything worse...

*hugs Oliver* I'm... okay at the moment. Just about ready to head off to bed. How have you been?

*hugs Felicia* Probably a stupid question, but rehearsal for what? :)

*hugs Laura* Is it a good thing he finally came over to talk? You are infinitely important <33

*hugs Jess* How are you?

risenfromperdition 20-07-2010 05:44 AM

you ARE important sweetie

wolfos3d 20-07-2010 05:46 AM

*hugs Taz* I'm not great. I'm sure I'll be okay though. I always am.

misskitty112 20-07-2010 06:14 AM


Originally Posted by taz35 (Post 2409451)
*hugs Felicia* Probably a stupid question, but rehearsal for what? :)

Not a stupid question at all. I'm in a Midsummer Night's Dream this summer =)

jonikd 20-07-2010 07:50 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm having a bit of a rough time but thinking of you all and hoping you're all doing OK.

Special hugs for Mark, Laura, Helen, Kahlia, April, Crimson, Hayley, Oliver, Julie...kind of my wee rocks here.


SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 07:58 AM

*comes out from hiding b/c JK is here*

*cuddles tight* I'm sorry that you are having a rough time hun. Here if you need.

*hugs jess, taz, heather, and felicia* hope you guys were all able to sleep okay

risenfromperdition 20-07-2010 08:05 AM

im clearly not sleeping as im talking to you :P


SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 08:07 AM

^ haha.. i didnt know u were still on ryl too... well i hope you get to sleep eventually :-P

risenfromperdition 20-07-2010 08:23 AM

:P lol.

*snuggles into corner with teddy and yawns*

frenchhorn 20-07-2010 10:27 AM

*hugs JK* nice to see you back, but sorry your having a rough time, anything you want to talk about?

*huges Heather* hope you manage to sleep ok, when you do go to bed, I'm very confused as to which time zone your in.

*hugs Jess*

*hugs laura*

*hugs Taz* I'm okish, not looking forward to going home, which involves 8 hours of travelling and then won't get to see Alex for 4 weeks.

*hugs Felicia* hope the rehearsals are going well

Doikers 20-07-2010 10:51 AM

Jill , Its good to get things off your chest sometimes *Hugs*

*Hugs JK* , sorry you are having a rough time :( , it's nice to see you though :)

*Hugs Crimson* You CAN fight those urges *Hugs tight*

April , I'm sorry you're pissed off at something :( and I hope the house selling person comes soon if they haven't already*Hugs*

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you won't see Alex for 4 weeks but you can celebrate when you do see him again ! plan a meal out or something , just a thought . sorry if it's a useless idea :S

*Group Hugs*

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 12:03 PM

In response to all that asked - it was just a thing on WoW... which led to me realizing that all around, I just don't feel "good enough," at anything... which in turn, led to an "amazing" crying spell. :-X "Amazing" because I hate hate HATE crying... and this was a pretty long burst of tears. Thankfully Jarrod was there to help comfort me... but still... not ever feeling "good enough" ... I'm sure some of you know how it feels, even if it's not true for you. :(

Anyway. Enough whinging/moaning about that. :-/

*cuddles all* How are you doing today? Sorry no individuals right now, am feeling a bit out of it this morning. Had more bad dreams/nightmares last night. :(

Doikers 20-07-2010 12:15 PM

April , Good luck with your NP today :) *Hugs*

Possible Sui trigger below







I Just met with my social worker , told him about my "plan" and he told me to think about how losing me would affect my parents / Sister / who ever would find me , and he went to make a Psych Dr Appoinment for me but I already have one and he is coming to it now , I guess it's nice to have support , It was so hard to tell him and now I have to tell Dr G too :S I feel numb still I took a diaz but it's a different type of numb hmmm sorry.

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 12:20 PM

SO proud of you, Mark!! Well done for talking with your SW about your suicide plan... that's so good. But, I AM proud of you, so very much. That had to take a lot of strength to talk with him about as I know you wanted to keep it a secret. Once again, WELL DONE, and keep us updated on how things are going (i.e., if you're going to be hospitalized, etc.). *huge cuddles*

*spies you & glomps* :D

Doikers 20-07-2010 12:29 PM


(i.e., if you're going to be hospitalized, etc.).
I hope not , :S. Thankyou April :) What you think of me matters tons to me :)
I have Accupuncture at 2pm and My Nurse ( Who already knows ) at 3pm at the same place .

I'm so Drained , Telling my SW really took it out of me .

MammaMia 20-07-2010 12:58 PM

*cuddles all*

Thank to those of you who replied to my last post, particularly Kahlia, I know how much you're struggling right now, so it meant a lot to me.

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 01:41 PM

*cuddles Hels* How are you doing this morning, love?

Aw Mark, thanks for saying that what I think of you matters a lot to you. :) That helped me a bit, believe it or not, helps me feel a bit more valued. *gentle hugs* I can believe that you're feeling kind of drained at the moment, I think I would be as well. But I do think that it's good that your SW is coming with you to your pdoc's. Kind of moral support, if that makes sense. :)

I'm so exhausted that my eyes are crossing... not good. Oh and Mark, I hope that my NP appt goes well also. I see her this afternoon... earlier than usual which may or may not be a good thing. :-/ I hope that she has some answers for some potential side effects - one of which being the nightmares. ARGH.

And I'm even more "ARGH-y" because WoW is down for maintenance for nearly 12 hours (on some of the servers on which I play) and one of the servers/realms on which I play is undergoing 24-hour maintenance!! Guhhh. I am not addicted to WoW but it is a VERY good distraction... so yeah. :-X

*hides in a hole for awhile and wonders if Lia is still hiding in my hole with me :P*

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