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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Ileana 27-10-2008 04:40 AM

Hallo.
*waves*

CrazyChaoticMess 27-10-2008 05:53 AM

Wow..i like this place *looks around*
*sets up camp randomly out of the way in some corner somewhere*

shadowedseraph 27-10-2008 09:38 AM

*sits on her sofa and hands our RYL teddies and soft drinks for everyone and invites people who need it to come for hugs*`

MammaMia 27-10-2008 10:40 AM

Hi all :)

I think Kahila's tears have finally started to arrive, been crying for 20 mins :(

zowie 27-10-2008 11:49 AM

I hate myself.
My dad was saying some nasty things to me last night so (I was a bit drunk) I went upstairs and started to cut.
Then he came in the room (I hid my blades and arms) and apologised. I wish I didn't start hurting myself over something so stupid. x

MammaMia 27-10-2008 02:27 PM

*gently cuddles Zowie*

Kahlia1981 27-10-2008 11:39 PM

Hi all.

Helen - I'm glad those tears have arrived ... I was starting to wonder where they must have gotten to.

I feel like sh*t. After four days of being off my medication my friend wanted to put me in hospital. I can understand where he was coming from. I barely moved off the bed all day. The voices were telling me to harm myself and giving me plans to do it, and the only reason that I didn't do anything was because I didn't have the energy.

We went up to the hospital and ........ the f*cking Intake & Assessment nurse was "only half way through an assessment" of a guy who had just admitted to being on a four day bender on amphetamines, and taking his last lot of speed half an hour before. Excuse me for saying this, but WTF were they doing trying to do a psychiatric assessment on him at that point? We waited for an hour an a half but I was clearly getting worse and my friend was getting severly pissed off at the system so we came home. He dosed me up on Valium and put me to bed after I had written an email to my pdoc.

I got in touch with my pdoc yesterday and he was trying to arrange for me to go into hospital. There doesn't seem to have been any luck with that. Half the beds in that psych ward are taken up with people who don't really need to be there anyway. Grrrrr.

After speaking to my pdoc (and getting a script because I'd thrown out everything) I've gone back on one of my drugs plus the Valium. The voices are still telling me to hurt myself and giving me plans .... I still don't have any energy to act on any of them.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of an essay.

On the partly good side .... the shoulder surgery that I was supposed to have two and a half years ago has just been rescheduled for November 12th. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because I'm pretty sure I'll just get bounced again but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Can I just crash out somewhere for a bit guys ?

*hugs everyone*

MammaMia 28-10-2008 01:18 AM

Crash out here.

Woah system sucks man and yeah I agree why was she doing an assessment when he was obviously still doped up on them? Anyway I'm glad you've stayed safe and that your friend has been trying to help and stuff.

I hope they don't cancel your surgery, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you hun :)

Oh & thanks for the tears- they lasted on/off for about 15 hours!!! Made me feel worse tbh, but feel like a massive release in my chest now haha.

I'm so anxious about speaking to my sister >.< Wish she'd message me back already!!!!!!!!!

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 02:26 AM

Well I've heart from CATT (community assessment and treatment team) twice today. The second time they were just confirming that they had checked with my pdoc that what I'd said was happening was really happening. The first time I let out a whole lot of angry sh*t at the system and the way it has treated me. Blech.

Still no energy ... don't want to eat, don't want to drink .... just want to lie down and do nothing, but am forcing myself to do things.

Got my paperwork regarding the surgery .... it could still be cancelled ... but maybe I'll get lucky.

*hugs Helen* I hope things are okay.

*hugs everyone*

MammaMia 28-10-2008 02:28 AM

*cuddles you tight*

It's hard not to get your hopes up I know hunni, bet cha they wont cancel it ;)

Looooooove you!

I don't feel ok. I feel numb and low and like crying. yet I feel so happy. Why am I fooling myself into making me and people believe I'm ok?

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 05:42 AM

*snuggles Helen*

I really, really, really (x infinity) hope that they won't cancel it this time.

Thanks for the hugs and love ... I've been feeling so alone, even when surrounded by people.

I'm sorry you aren't feeling so good Helen. I can't answer why you are doing what my family and friends call "acting", but feel free to let it all out here.

Love you. :x

zowie 28-10-2008 09:06 AM

Had a good day yesterday. Went round a friends house with a couple of girls and watched Saw 3 and 4, drank lots of beer and had a laugh.
Woke up this morning and realised I don't get out much. Most people my age are spending their half term with mates, and I only spent my Monday with some mates and will spend the rest of the week lying on the sofa reading magazines. Sad.

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 11:40 AM

I finally heard back from my pdoc. I'm on a waiting list to get into the hospital. In other words, they'll put me in as soon as they have a bed free. My pdoc says that they will do a full medication review and he's not sure how long I'll be in there for.

Is it wrong that all I can think or doing is cutting or something more harmful?

*hugs Zowie* I have similar issues .... well I did when I was studying, except with me it was reading technical manuals. And I only have like two friends. But anyway, enough about me, just wanted to offer some hugs and silent support.

*hugs everyone else and then escapes under a bed to cry*

shadowedseraph 28-10-2008 12:45 PM

*hugs Helen and Kahlia* sounds like your both having a tough time at the moment *more hugs*

*hugs zowie* i'm pretty much the same mate!

Detour. Derail 28-10-2008 05:01 PM

*leaves hugs and tiptoes round pining up the odd balloon or two**

MammaMia 28-10-2008 05:06 PM

Yaaaaaaaay

SO HAPPY

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!

Detour. Derail 28-10-2008 05:16 PM

i want snow!
Why would it snow in OCTOBER?!?!?><

*continues to hang balloons and banners everywhere*

MammaMia 28-10-2008 05:32 PM

Who knows hun? Besides it seems to be snowing nearly everywhere...even in Wales there's snow (I think)

Detour. Derail 28-10-2008 05:36 PM

not in Manchester :/

oh well :]

Hells....Help me set up this table? Im leaving party food for everyone :]

BoundNoMore 28-10-2008 05:44 PM

Sorry I haven't been around lately ya'll...
had my internet cut off for like 4-5 days ><
I missed ya'll soo much!!!!
*hugs everyone who wants one*

Detour. Derail 28-10-2008 05:44 PM

*hugs Amanda*
Hello :]
Do you want some cake?

Dramatic 28-10-2008 05:45 PM

Meh. I want snow.
It's cold enough though..and, our boiler has packed up.
Yep.
And we won't get a replacement until Monday.
****ing JOY.
So i shall continue to freeze my tits off until then. *Sigh*

Still dissociating. Arms are raw from SI'ing.
I'm mentally/emotionally/physically exhausted. It's beyond a joke now.

Meh. I know i'll give up soon.
Mmm.
Less of me.

Hope you're all ok. Am keeping my fingers crossed for you Kahlia RE the operation. *hug*
lots of love to all
laura x

BoundNoMore 28-10-2008 06:00 PM

mmmmmmmmmmm cake....
thanks alexx!!! :-)
what's the occasion?

Detour. Derail 28-10-2008 06:05 PM

18th burfday ^_^
Its not til tomorrow though....but ill be at work tomorrow night hehe

MammaMia 28-10-2008 06:05 PM

*cuddles Alexx, Amanda & Laura lot & lots*

Alexx, sure thing :D

Amanda, don't worry about it, are you ok?? xx

Laura, I'm so sorry sweetie :(

Dramatic 28-10-2008 06:08 PM

No need to be sorry Helen, i'm quite used to feeling like this now, heh, you sort of become accustomed to it after a while.
hug
x

BoundNoMore 28-10-2008 06:11 PM

Well Happy early birthday Alexx!!!
*cuddles Helen back and sighs* I wish I could say I was ok...

MammaMia 28-10-2008 06:17 PM

*cuddles you both back*

It'll be ok I promise.

Heh, guess who fainted earlier? Stuipd girl.

BoundNoMore 28-10-2008 06:20 PM

I have been passing out A LOT lately... ><
like almost daily... or at least every other day

MammaMia 28-10-2008 06:31 PM

Seen a doc about it?

I've had a headache thats come on real quick :S Probs cus of banging it :(

Dramatic 28-10-2008 06:35 PM

I usually feel faint when i'm PMS'ing, it's all the hormonal changes, which would probably explain why you fainted.-hug- Hope you feel better soon. x

MammaMia 28-10-2008 06:37 PM

But I'm not on anymore and so my hormones should be back to normal now. *hugs* I hope so too. My sister seems to think it was probs cus of a hot bath followed by a hot shower caused it...cus shes had really hot baths before and felt faint!

Dramatic 28-10-2008 06:40 PM

Your hormones will still be whacko even if you've just come off. As you only came on a few days ago, it takes upto a week for hormones to settle down - especially over ovulation time.
Hot baths can send your BP skyhigh so it could be that.
Well hopefully it's just a once off occurance :) x

caiden 28-10-2008 08:32 PM

hi all. thank you for the blanket, teddy, and drink. im still here in my corner. i dont really know what to say, even though i feel like i need to talk to someone....if i ever figure out what to say, i will let you all know. in the mean time, can i just have a hug? i wont bother you all, i will just stay here in the corner out of the way. thanks.

Pomegranate 28-10-2008 08:36 PM

*^%$% )$TS% god damn it!!

I took a day off last week, a mental health day so I didn't crash completely and missed a seminar as a result. My tutor now wants me to write a review summary of the set reading to prove I did it....by thursday. I also have three normal seminars to prepare for by then and two essays and a presentation to write for next week and thats before I get my German tomorrow. God damn m/h.

Sorry, just needed to rant :(

Be careful Hells, could be any one of a number of things but make sure you go to the doctors if it happens again. *hugs*

Sorry everyone is struggling at the moment. I understand about the heating issue Laura, ours is playing up at the moment too. We could literally see our breath this afternoon! *hugs*

Glad your back Amanda *squishes*

It's good you enoyed yourself yesterday Zowie! Could you maybe arrange to meet up with those friends later this week so you don't spend as much time alone if it bothers you?

*pounces on Alexx and helps put up decorations* Missed you girlie x

Kahulia (sorry if spelling is wrong!)- Thinking of you and I'm really pleased your pdoc is getting things sorted for you. Hopefully it won't take too long and you can be in and out and feeling better before you know it! *hugs*

Pomegranate 28-10-2008 08:36 PM

*hugs psychomess* PM box is open if you ever need to chat x

MammaMia 28-10-2008 08:40 PM

Laura- there is that to be fair, thanks wifey for giving me a lesson in hormones hehe :) But yeah hopefully it's one off again. It's silly though because we were talking about how I fainted on my mum's birthday last year...and then I go ****ing faint today tsk!!

Betty- we're here if you do want anything, including a chat *cuddles lots*

Emma- grrrr tutors think they're so clever...not! *cuddles lots* Oh I went and booked you know who's tickets tehehehe oh dear!! Shall top up my phone and text you in the morning to see how you are if you would like? :) Hopefully I'll be ok =] I feel stuipdly ill at the moment.

caiden 28-10-2008 08:44 PM

thank you pomegranate. i am just having a really hard time right now with everything...including gathering up the courage to talk to someone about what is going on. thank you for the hugs though. i need that more than anything right now. hugs back.
*returns to corner to curl up and cry*

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 08:54 PM

*hugs everyone*

Dramatic 28-10-2008 09:08 PM

*Hugs Emma* Try not to get too stressed about it hun, i know that's easier said than done but the more you stress the more crap you're going to feel.
Don't ever feel pushed into doing something you feel is beyond your current means, if you feel you can do it - that's great! If not, i'm pretty sure your tutor will understand if you need an extra few days.

And in regards to the heating..i used to live on a farm, grew up there all my life up until i was 19.
It was a Tyde cottage - therefor, it came with my fathers job. My mum/dad lived there for 27 years - my fathers boss was a wanker (excuse language - that's putting it politely though) and refused to do anything in the house.
The house was riddled with damp in most rooms, and we went without heating for 2 years because the boss refused to fork out on a new boiler to be fitted.
So we lived with electric heaters which sent bills sky high so we usually went cold/walked around with massive layers on and hot water bottles.

So compared to back then..i can't complain.
Still hate being cold though!

Grr. Makes me angry thinking of the old house. I miss it terribly, but my father was treated so badly by his boss - he didn't even get a handshake or a thankyou after working there for 27 years - THAT just sums up how much of an arse he was.

We had to move as the house was in a state of disrepair.
We found it in 2006 being rented out - we were disgusted. The boss had fitted a brand new kitchen and painted all the walls again.
The thing is..it was summer when they advertised it, therefor no damp problems would have been seen.
So i feel terribly sorry for anyone living in there at this time of year. Rain was actually coming through one of the bedroom walls..which proves how bad it was in places. And wallpapering was a massive no no! It would just come off. Paint peeled/bubbled. *sigh*

Still miss my childhood home though.

Meh. That was one massive ramble.
*big hugs* to everyone.

And you're welcome Wifey - i know far too many things about hormones/periods/pregnancies and the like!

x

MammaMia 28-10-2008 09:17 PM

Jesus some people are ****ing wankers >.< (Said that cus of your post) Would you like another blanket??? :) *cuddles*

Detour. Derail 28-10-2008 09:18 PM

ignorant
–adjective
1.lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned: an ignorant man.
2.lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact: ignorant of quantum physics.
3.uninformed; unaware
4. due to or showing lack of knowledge or training: an ignorant statement.

STUPID COW!! DONT CALL ME IGNORANT!! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD MEANS SO BY DEFINITION THAT MAKES YOU THE IGNORANT ONE!!!!

I hate her...I hate her so much...
Because of her....I can feel my carefully constructed mask...slipping away...and Im clawing to keep it inplace...
I cant stop crying..
Except I dont really have the energy anymore...so its barely a whimper.
I need to get away....
One way or another....I am going to leave and Im not coming back

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 09:18 PM

Wow, snow .......

It's summer here and I'm walking around in long pants with jumper's on because it's 18 degrees Celsius. Sorry guys, I'm not sure what that is in farenhight (excuse the bad spelling). Where I live, if it drops below 20 the jumper's start to come out .... it's usually between 25 and 30 degrees which is comfortable to kind of extremely hot.

Meh.

*hugs everyone*

MammaMia 28-10-2008 09:30 PM

*cuddles Kahila*

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 09:47 PM

*cuddles Helen back*

MammaMia 28-10-2008 09:49 PM

*cuddles you again and offers cuddles to everyone else*

Feeling low *sighs* Well it hadn't stopped anyway but I'd been feeling much better....

BoundNoMore 28-10-2008 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hells (Post 1180469)
Seen a doc about it?

Yup... he assured me "migraines... though they may suck... are not dangerous."

MammaMia 28-10-2008 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bound by Thoughts (Post 1181064)
Yup... he assured me "migraines... though they may suck... are not dangerous."

Hmmm is that whats making you faint?

I really don't know what to do about something :crying:

Kahlia1981 28-10-2008 10:50 PM

Amanda - that really sucks ..... I hate migraines.

Helen - anything we can do to help ? Would you like to talk about it ?

Still waiting for a bed at the hospital. Could be a couple of days yet. My friend is getting worried about me again.

All I want to do is curl up in bed and die. Meh.

*offers cuddles to everyone then hides under a bed somewhere in the dark*

Dramatic 28-10-2008 11:23 PM

Is it bad to say that i want to be in hospital right now, despite hating them?

Just to feel safe.
If only.

Oh well.
I'll be going there soon enough in a body bag. So might as well make the most of it out of it =]

What's up Helen?

*hugs Kahlia*


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