*cuddles Hels* You popped in and out whilst I were typing!! :P Hmmm, boo on getting soaked, that sucks. But at least you seem to be in a good mood... hmm, wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you're going to see your bestie in 5 (?) days?? :P I wish we all had equally big happinesses to look forward to in the coming days... then maybe we'd have a ward full of happy people. That would be utterly AWESOME. :) (And not the "happy pills" kind of happy, either. :P) Anyway... well done on getting some stuff done today, at least... I know how "daunting" it can be if you have a ton to get done in a day. :) At least there's tomorrow to do some of it. Now that I've had such a busy day, I don't know what I'll do tomorrow. :-/

*even more extra cuddles for all* <3

*cuddles April lots* I sure did :D It sure is to do with that I'm seeing my bestie in 5 days!!! That actually made me squeal loudly when I ready your post. Sad, I know LOL. I wish we all did aswell. It can be daunting indeed. I just was so stressed last night about having so much to get done before Monday, but wrote it down. So got a good start into it. Yaay.

The devil is telling me that i must die now am scared i might do something

*offers cuddles and safe love & care packages to all*

I've been able to quickly get onto my housemate's computer while he is asleep as he has customised a logon for me and thought I would drop by for a quick catch up.

Things haven't been going brilliantly here. With my computer dying, my shoulder subluxing and the severe pain forcing me onto an extremely high dose of endone (a sister drug to morphine), the pain itself which is also interrupting my sleep to the extent where I am struggling to get to sleep and stay asleep and am now lucky to manage 2 - 3 hours a night again, and the chest infection which appears to be still worsening instead of getting better despite me being halfway through the second course of antibiotics I have been forced to ask for an extension for the first assignment of my only subject I am attempting at uni this semester.

To be perfectly honest, the worst part about that is that I feel like I have failed because I have had to ask for an extension on something that I know I am capable of completing without requiring an extension on. *sigh*

Mind you, the pain in my shoulder and frustration and other emotional responses to not having a computer that I can access whenever and wherever I want or need to are really getting me down. :-(

I hope that everyone is having a good day/night and offer *hugs*, *cuddles*, *glomps* and *waves* that you can choose for your level of comfort.

Remember: You never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only option you have left! So just keep your head up and keep moving forward.

*leaves lots of tlc for everyone in whatever way they can accept it and quickly plays with Puppy SinClair*

*hugs Kahlia tightly* I'm sorry everything's being so crap right now babe :(

*hugs kahlia, helen, lia, april, mark, sarah, RYUU, felicia, and everyone else*

Sorry its not more.

*snuggles laura <3*

*curls up* man i ate way to much

*Hugs Julie*

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry you are suffering so much , I hope both your arm and chest feel better soon :)

*Hugs April* Yey for reading!!

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Ryuu* I hope you are safe .

*cuddles ward*

*Cuddles Helen*

*hugs everyone* I hope we're doing okay.

*cuddles Mark & Claire* How you two doing?

I'm good, full of cold & cough though :( Should be getting my broken hearing aid sorted out today. Well hoping a new/loan one anyway :S I'm already in tears about it because I'm that worried.

*Hugs Claire*

I've got my Psych Dr's appointment in 42 minutes , anxious , any spare positive thoughts I'd appreciate them coming my way (Short notice I know).

EDIT:- Ohh Helen I hope you get your hearing aid sorted out and I also hope your cold go's away soon .

*sends lots of positivity* good luck Mark.

I'm doing okay, I think.

*hugs to everyone* hope everyone is feeling okish...x

Walking around trying so hard not to give in to the urge... Have this really strong urge to hurt my neck... I'm losing control and I kno tht if I lose the battle and give into the urge then it's going to be bad... The urge is so bad I'm shaking... Being alone here in this place doesn't help... :/

*Hugs Needhelp* Can you put on some music to divert your attention or maybe go out for a walk?

Well...My P Doc's appointment went okay , he seemed pleased hat I'm not actively suicidal this time and that I'm volunteering and meeting the befriending lady , He prescribed me 12 Diaz to get the 8 that my GP gave me up to the 20 I am prescribed although when I got the box home and opened it it only had 10 tablets in there but 18 for the month is MUCH better than 8, He also is going to write to my GP telling him I am prescribed 20 Diaz a month so I hope my GP gets the message . Oop the police just knocked on the door looking for the owner of a fridge freezer thats been dumped at the side of our building , I don't know who's it is though.

Cuddles all, damn it I'm in a such a mess, need somwere safe right now. Feel very unsafe.

*Squishes Jill*

*cuddles all*

I'm back with two new hearing aids...lol.

Hooray for new hearing aids Helen !:)

Yeah you're right Mark :D

Hi everyone.

Hi Lindsay *Hugs* How are you doing?

I'm not too bad thanks. How are you, Mark?

Coming in again. I'm a gigantic mess :crying: Got that 'can't breathe, can't think, can't talk' feeling.

*hugs everyone *

i cut a few hours ago but the devil want me to cut again i don't know if i can fight him i feel weak

Lindsay, I'm releived that my Psych Dr saw things my way and releived that my volunteer post at the cyber cafe , making next weeks shift went okay , I said I can do Monday and I said what time would they like me and was told whenever I liked , just show up sometime on Monday . Still worried about my friend but I don't know what to do hmmm.sorry if thats confusing :S

*Hugs Sefka* Do you want to talk?

EDIT

*Hugs Ryuu* you can fight him , you can even though it's tough .

Cuddles all. Damn it I really want to hurt myself, should have dine it a few days back. And not chickened out. Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!

*Hugs Jill* Please try and be strong Jill , you CAN get through this.

*hides*

Are you okay Nicole? *Hugs*

*hugs mark* not really :( i don't think i can take this anymore

I'm sleepy but I'll stay and listen if you like Nicole :)

it's ok mark, you can sleep :) it's not fair of me to sit and moan at you lol

Are you going to be safe?

uhuh, i'm at my grandads tonight so i can't do anything.

Hey Nicole, I'm here if you want to talk. I don't go to bed for ages yet. *Hugs*

You too Jill if you're still around.

*hugs lia* are you sure it's ok? i don't wanna like rant at you if your not up to it.

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry no indivs, for now at least... am super super tired. It's been a busy day. I went to my parents' house - went to the library and a discount clothing shop with my mum and pretty much had a blast, even though I only bought one thing (aching to buy more but kept finances in mind :P) and also didn't check anything out from the library (which is a HUGE feat in my mind, since I saw sooo many books that I wanted to check out!!!). But it was a lot of fun. Also went to Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and muffins... I had decaf but I FEEL like they gave me caffeinated because I'm anxious. :( But it was tasty :) and made me happy. Also got to spend time with my cat, Daniel, as he's STILL at my parents' house since we STILL have the occasional flea here at the apartment. Eurgh. :( :( :(

Oh, and it's raining like there's no tomorrow here. :( Pouring, even. The drive home was funnn... :( Had to keep the a/c on (cold) so the inside of the windows/windshield wouldn't fog up. Ugh. I hate having to do that and also not having enough layers of clothing on to stay warm!! heh. So I promptly came home, got changed in to warm & dry clothes, and then Jarrod got home. :)

Bleh. Soooo tired. And now to decide if we're gonna go out to eat tonight or stay in... :-/

Sounds like you had a hetic but fun day April :) *hugs*

Sure Nicole, it's fine. I like to be of use. :)

I'm still around btw, just off to my R/V.

okay thanks lia. *hugs*

i cant handle my family anymore, they've really pissed me off, i have a bruise on my arm where my sister bit me, and a broken finger where she went to kick me in the face, i put my hand out to stop her and she caught my finger, and she has been bullying me all week :( today i was eating my dinner and she says to me 'omg nicole you're so fat, you should just go make yourself sick after you eat that cause you need to loose some weight' and now i'm hungry cause i threw my dinner at her :/ (i couldnt help it, she really upset me!) and my mum is blaming me for all of this!

then today my mum came home after going to a child abuse case about some kids at her pre-school and she just started having a go at me saying that i'm pathetic for self harming and being suicidal because my abuse wasnt even that bad and i should see what these poor kids have been through. i mean i feel sorry for the kids, of course i do, but that doesnt make my abuse any less valid :'(

Of course is doesn't Nicole. You have as much right to react to it as they do and no one can say whose abuse was 'worse' it depends on the individual person and what they are going through because of it. I'm sorry you're having so many family troubles right now, I can relate to that but I won't start a massive rant now. Perhaps you could rethink that moving out thing is they are getting you down so much? I know you wanted to give it another go, but things don't seem to be working out so well. You're not fat, don't listen to what your sister says, and it doesn't even matter if you are, no one here gives a damn and no one who's your real friend should either. *Massive hugs* You can PM me any time.

*hugs lia* thanks hun. i am fat, i know i'm fat, but i'm comfortable(ish) with it, but i dont like her keep being nasty about it :( i can't move out at the moment cause of money issues :( and i have a REALLY painful finger! thanks for listening to my ramble, feel free to rant at me any time. :D

thanks lia, im still around. curls up

*Hugs Jill* You alright honey?

*Hugs Nicole* So you should be comfortable. As long as you are, it doesn't matter what they think of you. And your mum had no right to say those things. I'm being pathetic about my 'abuse', if it can even be called that, I know I am, but she can't compare you to other people. Different things affect different people in different ways. It's not wrong to feel the way you do and you can no more help it than I can bring her back. How old is your sister out of interest?

*huggles lia* you are SO not being pathetic about your abuse sweetie, noone deserves to be hurt. and my sister is 13.

So tired and run down today, and my back is agony, no idea whats happening with it either, not an injury, just...I don't know, probably just whatever condition they decided I have screwing with me.

*cuddles all* individuals tomorrow x

hugs lia back not really.

What's wrong Jill?

Sorry you're not feeling great Sarah. *Hugs*

That explains a lot. Your sister's at the 'age of the teenager' where it's cool to be nasty to people. Mine never grew out of that. Not that I'm excusing her bahaviour, just telling you to try not to take it personally, although I know how hard that is. Rememeber though, I love you, no matter what size you are or anything else. *Hugs again*.