*hugs helen* im sorry that you are being bothered by certain people and that guy. Hope that you can find a way to block him.

*hugs oliver* Its always fine to ramble about yourself in here. I'm sorry that not all of your family respects your name/treats you as you are. I bet that's really hard/frustrating... Sorry, I know I probably sound really ignorant about this type of thing. Hope things at home don't get too bad with the shouting.

*hugs crimson* sorry that you had such a frustrating day at work.

*hugs april* It sounds like you really need to move out of that apartment with the fleas and it being so hot and all *installs a free a/c unit for you* (i'm quite virtually handy lol). Hope that it at least cools off to a more reasonable level soon. Good job on over a week without cutting! You can make it through jarrod going back to work. Just keep trying to fight and move forward if you can.

*hugs lia* glad that you head has cleared up a little since earlier today. Sorry you were having such a hard time.

*hugs kahlia* sounds like you had a productive day. well done!

*cuddles for everyone that i missed* i didnt intentionally ignore anyone.

let it stop

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you are having a tough time with people and having to be a girl , that must be so frustrating :S

*Hugs April* A week and a half !! Thats good going , you're doing really well :)

*Hugs Laura* I would miss your posts too Laura and you have every right to receive support in here just like the rest of us:)

*Hugs Helen* Hmmm I hope you can get rid of the man who is bothering you soon .

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Lia*

*Group Hugs*

*waves* I had my second doctors appointment today. I almost fell asleep in the waiting room, and then during my appointment. I'd had plenty of sleep too. I suppose I should have mentioned it while I was there. :/ I did a mental health plan thingy and my doctor told me that I'm currently too low to start seeing a psychologist. I have to go back again next week and I should be referred to someone in the next couple of weeks.

And I get to start playing Ice Hockey next month! It means my arms will be on show (between padding) during training and I absolutely cannot cut there EVER again. Which will be difficult because I really have no desire to cut elsewhere. It's gonna be tough. I really want to play though, I don't want to have to miss out just because of some silly problem. :(

*Hugs Jessica* I hope you get referred to a psychologist you like and get on well with . :)

Thanks Mark. *huggles* How are you doing?

Thanks everyone, he finally seems to stopped texting me again, hopefully won't hear from him again *shudders*

*cuddles all then hides*

Curls up in corner, trying really hard to not do anything stuiped, really want to tho. Just want next Friday to be over really don't want to wait would rather know now. =(

*cuddles all* Wish I could do more... seems like a lot of us are struggling right now. :( Jess, I hope that your ice hockey goes well. I totally understand not wanting to cut anywhere but your arms, that's how I was/am. Laura, how are you doing? and Mark? Hels, glad he's stopped texting you. Jill, love, what's next Friday? Oliver, I'll try & read your r/v in a bit... sorry it's not more.

There... lol... individuals but in a very shortened manner. :-S Sorry, I really do care, it's just my head's in an odd place right now. :-/ Don't know how to explain it though.

Had more nightmares last night & am utterly exhausted because of them. :( They were truly awful. :'( But I just want to go back to bed... keep thinking that "maybe this time I won't dream/have nightmares" but that is hardly ever the case. :'(

*sigh*

*hides in the warren*

*Hugs Helen * Good that the man had stopped bothering you :)

*Hugs Jill* What are you waiting for Jill ? sorry if I forgot I hope you are coping okay :)

*cuddles April tight* Nightmares are a bitch, I had one last night, really triggered me ha. Hope yours stop really soon darling.

*cuddles Mark*

*Hugs April* I spot you!

I also Spot Helen and Oliver*Hugs*

I've taken the laptop into my old bedroom at my parents , hmm its still full of my stuff but I don't want to take it all to my flat as my flat is a fixed 2 years tenancy and I want to wait until I am in a "Permanent" place before I move my stuff , make sense ?, I'm really worried I won't have anywhere to go when my tenancy is up , my housing support worker seem to be slow at geting me points on the points system(that I don't understand) with the council. hmmmm :S

*hugs April* thanks. I'm sorry you had nightmares again last night.

*hugs mark* how are you?

*hugs Jill* what is happening next friday?

*hugs Hels* I'm glad he has stopped texting you

*hugs Jess* that sounds good about doing ice hockey and maybe it will be a good insentive to start cutting less and stopping, sometimes we need something to make us do that.

*hugs laura* No you don't sound ignorant, it is really frustrating to be called the wrong name all the time. How are you today?

*hugs all other ward mates*

am so nervous about next week :/

*Hugs Nicole* Whats happening next week Nicole ?

*hugs mark.* im going to this adventure place in swindon for 3 days with group :/

Well that sounds like it could be fun Nicole ! but I understand being nervous about being stuck in a group for 3 days *Hug*

*hugs* im exited, but very nervous, and also, although pretty much every one of us self harms or have self harmed in the past. for some reason im nervous about them seeing my scars :/

Random, but does everyone else's family know, or at least have known in the past, about their mental health troubles? Because none of mine have any idea. Some of my friends know parts, but no one knows everything and the fam have no idea about anything. I've just considered the fact that might not be normal and is taking the mask a step too far.

How's everyone else?

Nicole, I hope you have a good time on the trip, I'm going camping with my senior section for a week on Saturday. I understand showing your scars must be nerve racking, but remember no one there is going to judge you, they've all been there themselves and this may help you.

x

*hugs nicole* i hope that you have a good time at the camp. I would be nervous too i think, but ultimately it could be a great time... just keep an open mind.

*hugs lia* to answer your question, yes my parents know about my mh stuff and i think my sister does too.... they found out after they raided my room a few years ago and found some writing that i had done (I was less than pleased that they did this... to put it lightly). If you want to tell your family, i think you should. Sometimes i think it can be very helpful for family to know.

*hugs mark* yea that makes sense about moving. Hoping all that housing stuff gets sorted out for you.

*hugs helen* i'm glad that he stopped texting for now. Hope you are feeling at least a little bit better.

*hugs april* sorry about your nightmares. I really hate dreaming. I've been having some strange ones lately, not nightmares per say.. just strange dreams.

*hugs jess, jill, and oliver*

I'm beyond anxious right now. Going to go exercise with a friend and just realized that my shorts dont exactly cover all my new SI stuff... and its like 90 out so wearing pants is going to look stupid.
What a screw up I am. I almost pride myself on how well i can hide things and I can't even get that right at the moment. hah.

To answer Lia, a friend knows most but not all, my other friends know little to nothing and my husband knows little (i warned him I was broken going into the relationship but he thinks I'm all better now...) My other family knows nothing at all.