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Doikers 13-12-2010 07:37 PM

* Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Sarah* If you don't want to twitter it we are always willing to listen :)

*Hugs Nicole* 9 Months is massive !! Go Nicole :-)

nicole94 13-12-2010 07:44 PM

*hugs mark and sarah* thanks guys. I just wish it felt like more of an acheivment...at the moment i just feel low :(
how are you both?

SparkleKitten 13-12-2010 07:44 PM

I feel shoickingly bad, me and my fiance are constantly arguing over little things. I'm not the happiest of people most times and things get to me but everytime I show or voice it he gets mad because he thinks I'm blaming him and whenever he mentions anything I feel like I'm being accused of being a bad partner and sometimes I feel terrible. I don't know what to do. And in the meantime I want to see Rebecca and I want to feel another one of the hallucinations. I have no motivation with my life, I don't know where I want to head with anything. I feel like I'll never be responsable enough for a real job. It scares me. Its all so much

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:02 PM

Nicole I know the feeling , you reach a milestone and "poof" you expect to feel different , I Expected it when I went one month S.I. free or a year drink free but we build up our expectations and really in reality it just feels like another day. *Hugs*

*Hugs* Sarah hun , It FREAKS me out that I'll never have any motivation too and I don't have any direction either :( It'll get better. we just have to think positively *Thinks positivly*

nicole94 13-12-2010 08:06 PM

*hugs mark* thanks, i just thought....well, i wouldnt mind to much if it just felt like another normal day..... but i feel like a failure. Cause i couldn't even kill myself....... :(

one_step_closer 13-12-2010 08:09 PM

I hate this time of the night. I feel so low and suicidal and don't see the point in phoning the voluntary crisis team because they'll just tell me to read a book or something. My brother isn't feeling good today because he's missing a gig because his exams were rescheduled. I hate when things aren't good for him. I so badly want to go to a train station. I keep daydreaming about it. If only my brother was dead then I wouldn't have to think twice about going ahead with it.

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:10 PM


Cause i couldn't even kill myself....... :(
Oh Nicole , I've actually lost count of attempts I've made to kill myself , some were like "HELP ME!" and some were "Just die now" so yeah , as you can tell I'm still here , Not having killed yourself is a good thing though Nicole *Hugs*

SparkleKitten 13-12-2010 08:13 PM

Now mums having a go because I'm talking to her about something that was on tv. Well balls to this. I hate things right about now.

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:14 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Could you try a pro crisis line? Please look after yourself and I'm here for you with my now famous crap advice :P Please please keep away from the train station :S

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:15 PM

*Hugs Sarah*

nicole94 13-12-2010 08:21 PM

*hugs mark linsay and sarah.*
I dunno wether or not to take the bandages off my arm yet or not...i dont normally bandage my cuts but these were pretty bad, but the bandages are irritating me....

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:29 PM

Nicole do you have new bandages to replace them with?

nicole94 13-12-2010 08:31 PM

I do. But i don't wanna put them on. I hate banages. I only put them on earlier cause the cuts were quite deep and bled everytime i moved my wrist. But theyve stopped doing that now.

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:38 PM

Okay , If they have stopped bleeding take off the bandages and clean your wrist with some water, you don't want it to get infected, Then cover it with something like a plaster strip to stop dirt and such getting into it and when you go to bed tonight take off the plaster to expose the wound to the air and it hopefully dry up some and begin to heal overnight. This is juat what I would do . Please take care :S

nicole94 13-12-2010 08:43 PM

mmkay mark :) thanks.
Anyways. Only 2 hours off college left till xmas hols :)

Doikers 13-12-2010 08:45 PM

Was that helpful Nicole? Yey For Hols !!

nicole94 13-12-2010 08:52 PM

yeah it was thanks :) And actually. Im not sure wether i want the christmas hols or not. i think i'd rather not have them.....

PsychoKitty2010 13-12-2010 08:54 PM

-crawls out from her corner and stretches lots, yaawns, and meows- hey everyone -hugs ward- how is everyone?

misskitty112 13-12-2010 08:57 PM

Ugh... triggered.
Made some tea/ study break time it appears.

Doikers 13-12-2010 09:00 PM

I know the feeling , Christmas is just like " You WILL enjoy yourself " . There was a Fsther Christmas handing out leaflets in out town last week . I don't know , I want to enjoy the holidays I just don't want to be forced too if I'mm not in the mood .*Sigh*

*Hugs Kitty* Hey :) How are you?

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