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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 28-09-2010 10:38 PM

doesnt matter forget i said anything.

nicole94 28-09-2010 10:44 PM

*hugs april* i suppose, i shouldve gone and spoke to tara today, but i didnt wanna bother her :( ended up going to the toilets to SI, but managed to stop myself when i got to the toilets and just sat and held my blades for a bit. still worried about tomorrow cause i can feel already that my mood is gonna be exactly the same tomorrow :(
*hugs shadowedsoul*

nicole94 28-09-2010 11:09 PM

*curls up*

shadowedsoul 28-09-2010 11:10 PM

curls up in a corner, crys queitly

FlyingNy 28-09-2010 11:10 PM

*Hugs Nicole* that's brilliant that you managed to stop yourself Nicole. Even if you didn't manage to beat the urges all day, it shows you can beat this and you can resist them. You should feel proud of yourself.

*Hugs Jill* We're here for you if you want to talk honey.

*Hugs April* Lol, that did make me laugh actually. Here I was feeling all **** because I have tiny chickens disease (aka the common cold, don't ask) and then I read that and it made me giggle.

I'm not too bad tonight aside from being slightly ill and tired because I kept waking up last night unable to breathe. Other than that, I am OK. School was good, and I had an argument with the woman in Sainsbury's who wouldn't let my buy cold relief tablets. Still, I have a mug of Horlicks (or at least will when I can be arsed to go and make it) and some English homework that needs doing...Yes, English homework to me is considered a good thing because I am really, really cool.

nicole94 28-09-2010 11:14 PM

*hugs lia* i suppose hun, aaw sorry you've not been well, glad school went ok. and i know the feeling about not being allowed to buy tablets, when i was ODing they were happy to sell stuff to me, but now if i'm ill its like its a major criminal offence :/
can i just give up now? please...............?

shadowedsoul 28-09-2010 11:17 PM

cuddles all, its messed up how many stuiped thoughts that are runnimg through my head, and im actualy looking for something to hurt myself with. im loosing the plot tonight. help, please help.

FlyingNy 28-09-2010 11:21 PM

*Hugs Jill tightly and refuses to let go so she can't continue her quest* I don't know what to say really, just that you deserve so much more than this and you shouldn't hurt yourself, I know I can't talk, but you deserve better than that. You all do. Please try to resist the urges.

*Hugs Nicole* No, I am afraid you can't. You've come this far, survived OD's, surely you're meant to be here? We'd all miss you too much here if you gave up. Think of something to look forward to everyday and focus on that. What is there to look forward to about tomorrow? It can be anything, a lesson you like, seeing someone you have a crush on, being able to curl up with a movie and a hot chocolate. Find something and everyday remind yourself you have to carry on living just to do that one thing. Same for you Jill and anyone else feeling that low.

*Spies Helen and glomps her* Hey, how are you tonight?

nicole94 28-09-2010 11:25 PM

*hugs lia* i know, i've worked so hard to get here, i just can't handle college anymore :( it's too stressful.

misskitty112 28-09-2010 11:30 PM


Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2508798)
I like the quote "Outside of a dog a book is a mans best friend , inside of a dog it's too dark to read" That would be fun on a T-shirt :)
I hope it's not neccesary for you to teleport over here Felicia but I will make extra tea for you :)

I may have to take you up on that offer and teleport even if it's not necessary :) I love it when people make tea for me!
Also, your quote made me giggle, I may have to get it put on a t-shirt.

April, that scenario you made up totally sounds like something I would do. I'm not necessarily strong or anything, but I can yell... and threaten to beat people up. Or... I can trip them. Yes.

*Hugs Helen* I'm glad you get to see your bestie soon!
*Hugs Nicole* You can't give up dear. It can't rain forever. It's gonna get better <3
*Hugs Jill*

I just want everyone to know that I finished my paper, minus a few revisions which I am putting off cause I'd rather read stuff. yay!
And... I'm really tired, from working Banned Books stuff... but at least my actual work today consisted of talking to and watching youtube vids with the professor I work for.

shadowedsoul 28-09-2010 11:31 PM

clings tightly to lia, im kind of scared of what i might do tonight, allready tried to do this one thing once before. fu7k my head so messed up tonight. sorry

FlyingNy 28-09-2010 11:36 PM

Try and keep yourself safe Jill. Go bug somebody for company, even if you don't tell them why or say anything at all. Did you know, a normal conversation can also reduce suicidal urges by 50%? Is there anything you can do that makes you happy and provides a distraction? For me, it's writing. That never fails to make me feel better. I love you, please don't hurt yourself.

I thought you love college Nicole? I know it's hard and stressful, I'm doing 5 A-levels and it's pretty murderous, but at the end of the day, it beats being at home :)

nicole94 28-09-2010 11:38 PM

heh lia-i do love college. but i love my sanity just a tiny bit more :( i don't wanna go back to the old me, i wanna stay where i am now, happy and stable and (almost) normal. I love college but i can't handle it :(

shadowedsoul 28-09-2010 11:39 PM

im trying lia really hard not to. feels like im fighting a loosing battle, and i feel **** for worrying you. just dont go away please, sorry being pathetic. curls up

FlyingNy 29-09-2010 12:17 AM

I'm not gone, I'm still here. I've been hanging and just taken a peek.

It's not pathetic to need someone, I sometimes want to beg people not to leave, but then they would want a reason that I can't give.

I'm sorry you're finding college so hard Nicole. What is it you're taking? I know you said, but I can't remember. I have a crap memory. Now, I could go into the science of that and how I could remember things better, but I'm sure none of you want a psychology lesson.

FlyingNy 29-09-2010 12:35 AM

Now you're gone without having said anything else and I feel awful. ****. Sorry, I'm sorry.

Scarletdreamer 29-09-2010 12:46 AM

Oooh psychology lesson. ;) April <3s psychology. :) Hehe. And Lia, writing = life for me too, pretty much. *cuddles* I write all the time. I have an online journal PLUS the r/v thread on here PLUS a paper journal (in which I wrote freaking TEN PAGES [and not small ones with big handwriting, either >_<] on Sunday...)... and I used to write poetry even though I don't really anymore... should try to do that soon. :-/ Blehhhh!!! Sorry for the rant, it's just really annoying that my Muse decided to take a vacation for so long. :( Anyway, sorry!!...

I second what Lia asked, Nicole - what about college is so difficult? Not asking that in a condescending manner, just curious... because it is probably good to have somewhere to go and a feeling of purpose in your life, and maybe if you can figure out what is so hard about it, then you could get some more help/support? Just a thought, I don't know how college works in the UK, so yeah. Sorry if it were a dense suggestion... *hugs*

Jill, please keep hanging on, hon. We'll be here, someone will be here if not us... and if you don't want to/can't be online, try & find someone offline to chat to, even if you don't talk about what's really bothering you (although it would be awesome if you could...). *hugs gently*

Bleh. Just... bleh. :(

shadowedsoul 29-09-2010 12:54 AM

hugs lia and april, no need to feel awfull lia. thanks the both of you. curls up
wish i could april, not even sure what brought me to this stage, all i know is how much i want to be stuiped tonight. sorry

RYUU 29-09-2010 01:04 AM

The devil keeps telling me to kill myself i dont feel safe

Scarletdreamer 29-09-2010 01:48 AM

*cuddles Jill & Ryuu* Please stay safe, the both of you... try to stay distracted on here, maybe? listen to some music kinda loud but not too loud since it's getting late? read a book if you've got the concentration? journal some or start a r/v (ranting/venting) thread? and if you really really feel unsafe, maybe call the Samaritans or a similar group just so you have someone to talk with, or go to A&E? Sorry if those are crap suggestions, just stuff I could come up with off the top of my head. *extra cuddles for both of you*

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