*hugs.* urgh. i just ate half a packet of quavers??
you ok hun??

That's good. *hugs*

Not really :(

aaaw. do you wanna talk?? PM me if you want.

Just really struggling at the moment :/

thank you for all the soup everyone, I am feeling a bit better.
*cuddles Nicole* well done for eating something.
*cuddles Helen* is there anything that can distract you from your thoughts of harming and crying?
*cuddles everyone else*

Yeah, I'm trying to do this thing for my mum, finding it hard../.

*cuddles all*

Too many posts in one afternoon!! lol... but it's good, it's all good. :) I like it when there are a lot of active posters; better than none, says I. :P

Wouldn't it be better if it were asshead? not asshat? because, well... :P ...hard to imagine wearing an ass (unless you mean the donkey kind) as a hat. Hehe.

Anyway. My day has progressed okay. Thankfully my classes went by fast and I wasn't too anxious in any of them. Also went "out to coffee" with a close friend of mine... ended up getting a lemonade. I almost never get caffeinated drinks anymore, make me wayyy too anxious. :( I miss my coffee!!! but at least we have the cappuccino mixes here at the apartment that I can use. And hot chocolate too of course. :)

Congrats, Hels, on getting the 2nd interview. Best of luck with it... I'm sure you'll do fine!! Were you crazy nervous for this one? *cuddles* Try not to harm, for us, please?? It's not worth it... you're worth so much more.

Mark, how're you doing this evening? Never heard of that kind of acupuncture, although have talked about acupuncture in several classes. Bummer it's not working. :(

Hayley, lol, what about my timing on WoW makes you find it curious? :P And yey for getting to level 20... :) I love the quests in Darkshore (Auberdine)... Westfall is also pretty awesome. :D

Nicole, sweetie, I'll read the thread in a bit but please don't harm, it's not worth it, like I told Helen. *hugs* You'll be okay, you'll make it through... play the 15-minute game, or do some of the distractions on here, or read a fun book or something. Sorry, am rubbish with coming up with distractions.

Laura, a room with 200 computers in it?!?! that just sounds crazy... hehe. I'm used to max 30 comps/room... but then I go to a smallish uni. :) How're you doing??

Just had supper, yum, home-baked chicken tenders. :) Healthy, lots of protein... but I'm still hungry. :-/ Guess that's what I get when I don't eat lunch... :-/ Jarrod will be pissed when he finds out, as I'm supposed to be taking care of myself. :(

I need to talk with Vince soon (personal trainer & very close friend). I miss him soo much. Hayley, he's our guild master on WoW, and we went to visit him and his daughters 1200 miles away in January. :D It was a blast... miss him so much though. And his close friend too, assistant GM. Boo hiss. :(

I really ****ing want to cut right now... :crying: And I don't know why.

Anyway. Sending you all hugs...

*hides where no one can find her*

april~ this shirt isn't as awesome as the one i have but i can't open the page with mine on it at work (hehe) so here's this one http://www.zazzle.com/your_problem_i...19436831674986 if you google "your problem is obvious shirt" it'll pull up the one i have in images :)

*huggles everyone and runs away*

*cuddles everyone*

*finds April & gives her a big hug* No cutting sweetie :( You can do this. I'm trying not to harm =) Wasn't really that nervous, which surprised me :S

So ****ing anxious :S Think it's something to do with my best friend. Hmm :'(

Thought I'd take another photo for you April :P With the lights on & my hair much cleaner :-p However I'm getting my hair cut soon :hop:

*cuddles April* glad your day went ok and you got through lessons without being too anxious and went out witha friend, but please don't cut hun, is there anything making you want to? anything you can do to distract?

*cuddles Helen* nice picture, we met on the last manchester meet didn't me, or am I being stupid? anyway nice pic and congratulations on the second interview. anything you can do to stop yourself being so anxious, some breathing exercises or something?

*cuddles angelic monster* you ok?

I'm feeling less ill, but had some idiots being stupid towards me which has got me down, what is it with people and the whole your not a real man thing because your physically not one and don't have a penis, thanks just make me feel even worse about myself why don't you.

*goes and hides in a corner*

We did indeed. Well I was there anyway =) So we must have aha!! I'm trying to not think, see if that helps the anxiety. Still doing something for my Mum. Dead easy really but it's taking me forever. Just pathetic isn't it really??

Forget those pathetic comments & people? They're not worth it..

Cool thought I recognised you, yeah don't worry if you don't remember me I was the guy in all black smart clothes, who didn't really talk and then had to leave early as was in a concert lol.

its not pathetic, sometimes things take time and especially if we want them done well.

yeah I'm trying to forget about them, its just hard, especially when it makes you think about it all again and it makes you feel like **** then you start doubting yourself and then it keeps going round in circles.

Sorry haven't been doing many individual replies today everyone. Just haven't really been with it today and I can never remember if I got everyone lol. And typing is an obstacle today too...

Oliver~ I don't really know how I am so far today. Not bad but not good either... Struggling with some things but mostly holding together. After I realized how much I ate yesterday I felt like a house (made worse by the fact my weight went up) but logically speaking I know that I am in the normal range of weight for my height... the higher end but still in range. So reminding myself of logic is making that not as bad. Depression-wise I think I'm numb right now. I don't know what else to call it. So really I just don't know today.

And as for the asshats and what they were saying, they aren't worth anyone's time till they grow up, especially yours.

Ahhh I remember you!! You were the guy with that orchestra bag & I meant to ask you why but totally forgot to haha!!!

Nearly done. Well over half way. I'm in pain >_>

yeah that was me, with my french horn!!
*cuddles* why you in pain?

*cuddles angelic monster* I really want to call you Crimson, is that your name? I'm really sorry for being an idiot and forgetting. I'm sorry your doing well and feeling numb, is there anything you can do to try and lift your mood a little?

Don't feel good.
Anxious.
Just want to cut.
But I can't, 'cause Jarrod's home.

It's going to be really tough if/when he gets his furlough from work - 3 months at home, will have to find a way to SI outside of the apartment. :crying:

Sorry I'm so pathetic. :(

*cuddles April lots* your not pathetic, anything you can do to feel less anxious and distract yourself. any breathing exercises, playing WoW, or others things you like doing. *sends lots of cuddles over*

*cuddles Helen* What's up?
*cuddles Oliver* Yep I'm Crimson. As horrible as this is gonna sound I think I prefer being numb for the moment...
*cuddles April* You are not pathetic.
*huggles everyone*