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*clings*
It's 2.30am, I plan to wake up at 8am. Not in uni today, but have to go in for a meeting -.- |
*leaves hugs for all*
My head hurts. I think I need to put it to bed ... but it's only almost 1500 hours. Way too early to go to bed and if I did get some sleep then it would take away my ability to sleep tonight. Meh. |
Nothing like breaking up the night before thanksgiving...
When it comes to finding love/companionship Id have a better chance at winning the lottery. ... |
*hugs everyone*
Hells, sorry I didn't get your text earlier. You know where I am if you want to talk about it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Wish I knew what was going on with my dad. I mean, I know I go around telling everyone I don't much like him because of what he did to me and that, but I do still care for him. They operated the other day apparently, but I don't know what happened after that, and I don't know whether it was successful and will keep him here or not. My mum emailed me to invite me to a friends 18th, and yet she didn't think to tell me what was going on with him. She didn't think that it would be necessary to tell me about them operating. If I want to know anything, then I have to phone up and ask. Even if they promise to phone me if anything happens, I can't trust that they will. It just... well, it annoys me more than anything, and then I just start getting angry at her. I mean, I realise that she's got a lot on her plate, but I hate not knowing anything, and I hate having to constantly make the effort to phone and ask. *sigh* sorry, it wasn't supposed to be quite this long. |
I feel like running away or crying. If I ran away it would be so much better on everyone else.
I just want all the crud to end. *leaves cuddles for everyone* |
Going back to college today. I'm so behind and nervous.
Just want to sleeeeeeeeeeep x |
*hugs Zowie*
I wish you all the best. I sincerely hope that things go well for you. |
*huge big giant hugs for everyone*
Helen, don't have any words the others have said but my thoughts are with you. Take it easy sweetie. Had to stay off work today, I actually got there but was in a complete state but it did force me to go to the doctor which I should have done weeks ago, back on the meds, the joy, feeling sick for a week whilst they enter my system. Off tomorrow too. *curls up and hopes it will all go away* |
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*curls up and wants it to go away and for her to come back*
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Am still feeling hurt by my mum. Can't wait to see her I think I feel like that its so hard to tell tonight
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Thank you Kahlia :)
Went in, and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I wasn't so behind that I didn't understand anything they were talking about. But I didn't have the stuff for the second part of the lesson so I left halfway through. Don't want to go in tomorrow. It's media, and I have barely done any of the coursework :S Helen, I just read about your friend. I'm really sorry and here if you want to talk. xxx |
Glad you went in today Zowie *cuddles*
What can I say that I haven't already? What can anyone say? I honestly don't know. It's just getting harder and harder. Each hour passes, is another hour without her living. I need her >.< I don't know how to deal with this. It's not real. |
sending hugs to everyone.
Missing my finace so much I cant stand it. I wont see him maybe until after xmas, I know its not a big problem but I cant stop crying. |
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*leaves cuddles for everyone* |
Hug me as tight as you want- it's much appericated. I just don't know what to do :/
Some good news though, my cousin finally gave birth to Grace today =) |
Helen - that is really good news!! *enfolds you in a tight, warm hug*
*leaves hugs for everyone* |
I know, but all I can think about is Stef. Selfish perhaps. =|
*rocks back and forth* |
I don't think it's selfish. I can understand where you are coming from. I wish I had words to make you feel better - because, when you are feeling better you will think about baby Grace. Try not to beat yourself up over it sweetness and delight.
*sits next to Helen for as long as required* |
*hugz for everyone*
*looks around nervously then curls up under big purple fluffy blanket and cries* |
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*curls up ino* Her note makes me cry. :-( (I just got it now) |
*offers silent support to Helen*
I feel like I should be studying but my brain just won't let me. First semester here doesn't even begin until March, which I guess is good because it means that I'll be already through one textbook, plus the seminal work on C++ programming and hopefully even the whole way through the textbook I need for the semester. It's really weird. A little part of me is telliing me that I'm being lazy by not having finished the book (approximately 22 chapters) within a couple of days. Meh. *cuddles everyone* |
*cuddles back*
Oh I sooooooo want to have a go at someone in my thread, but I know I'll regret it, upset Stef and everyone else and land in trouble. Grrrrrr >.< |
*continues cuddling Helen*
Maybe you could write the stuff you want to aim at that person down the old fashioned way (on paper) or in a file on your computer. That way you have gotten it out of your system but it's in a way that doesn't involve anyone else and therefore keeps you out of trouble. Just a suggestion, feel free to take it on board or not as you see fit. *brings blankets & doonas for everyone* |
I think I will and then I will delete it :p
Ooooh blankets!!!! It's FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZINNNNNNNNG here!!! I went out shopping with my mum & sister. Which I refused to do anyway and eventually dragged my sorry arse out of bed and went. BUT I gots a new dress!!!!!!!!!! =D |
New dresses are always fun :)
Feeling better for a couple of days off work, had a record breaking 11 hours sleep last night, have been living on about 5 hours for weeks now. Still feel crap about life but at least the pressure of work has been removed for a bit. Going to a graduation ball tonight (not mine) promised my friend I would go as her boyf dumped her and he was supposed to go. Should help me forget about things for a bit. *cuddles and electric blankets for the cold* (it is absolutely freezing up here in bonnie Scotland) |
Indeed they are Mary Anne. Glad you had lots of sleep and I hope you enjoy tonight. *sends some warmth* It's cold in England too =[
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I hated it today, we were so ****ing high up in the carpark. Just made me think of it. Damm you. >.<
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Life sucks.
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I went to bed about 2130 hours (9:30 pm) last night and woke up around about 0200 (2:00 am). Now I know with me that I won't be able to get back off to sleep so I've come onto the forum that keeps me alive.
What I'm finding weird is that here in Australia it's pretty close to summer and the days are scorching hot, yet I'm still freezing in the early hours of the morning and remember that most of you are heading into winter and therefore offer blankets. Moving day today. That should be fun. I just hope that things go well. Fingers crossed that the new living arrangements work out for everyone involved. *leaves blankets for those heading into winter, and cool drinks for those heading into summer* |
Media wasn't too hard today. My teacher gave me a handout about the cw and I have a week to do the first part. I think I'm gonna be okay with college.
My teacher said that my care co ordinator phoned the college (she had to to vouch for me that I'm not going to hurt any other student) and apparently told them that I'm not as ill as I want to believe I am. It's because of this stupid personality disorder they've diagnosed me with, isn't it?? They think that because I haven't responded to three different APs (except put on a ****load of weight) that maybe I'm lying about the voices. I'm not ****ing lying! Is that what they think? |
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:crying: |
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You might not have responded to AP drugs because of the type of drug they are. Can I ask which one's you have been on ? The reason I ask is that some people respond better to different types. Take me ... I respond to olanzapine (which so far has made me lose weight - a good thing because risperdal made me gain heaps) and quetiapine, both of which are atypical anti-psychotics. Now I've through almost every drug on the block and these two (with the quetiapine as a PRN) actually work for me in making it so I can manage the hallucinations. They may be thinking that you're lying, but if you are consistent with your symptoms they will eventually realise you aren't. As you might be able to tell, I don't think you are lying. I hope you can work something out. |
1ofmany,
life sure does suck. So do rushing thoughts and you can't tell whether you're suicidial or not because everything is confusing you and hurts. |
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I think I'm going to cry in a minute.
Please let me cry body. Please. This hurts too much. |
Thankyou Helen. Maybe it's just me looking at myself. I'm terribly self-conscious and have almost no self-esteem whatsoever.
Thankyou also for your wishes regarding moving day. Which is here, but also not here as it's only nearly 3:00 am. So most people aren't up and about yet. I hope you manage to cry Helen. *cuddles* |
Ahh I see. *cuddles* Well I hope it goes well when it's like here if you get me :p
Still no tears. *shrugs* |
I am sorry they are being so silly Zowie but well done on going into college today *squishes*
Kahalia- hope it goes alright today hun, thinking of you. *hugs 1ofmany and Mary Anne* how are you both doing now? Hope you sleep well Hells x -------------- I am so sore, another a+e trip, I just can't control it at the moment. 7 sets in under two weeks and I am really struggling not to do it again. They only let me go home today because I promised to call the crisis team over the weekend, especially if I wanted to SI or anything and I have to call my CPN monday. If I SI I can't go get it checked out in case they won't let me home. I just feel so out of control. Cut deeper and worse than ever before. Even getting up, showering etc seems a big deal. Drunk almost every night for the last two weeks. I just can't cope much longer... |
I don't know what to say.
S.O.S.? |
Managed most of last night before getting too tired (and refrained from crying for the whole night - a major plus for me). We did a stage left when the slow dances came on.
I covered my arms but I was with good friends who know and although both confess they cannot comprehend doing it themselves I get no kick back from them. Feeling extremely fat, jeans too tight, bleugh (most likely cause I have not been doing any excericse at all) Back to dull horrible life, at least it is Saturday. Tis very very cold, brrrr *big hugs* |
*leaves gentle cuddles for everyone*
I think it's finally sunk in. |
Today has been very eventful I had my two best friends move in and spoke to my favourite uncle who I haven't seen or heard from in over 12 years. I also lost apart of myself just speaking to him. He offered for me to stay with him for 4 week when I'm ready. I missed him dearly and wish I had the money to fly accros the country to do so.
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Emma - I don't have any words that will make these urges go away or anything like that. If I did I would definitely pass them on to you. I'm worried about you. *cuddles Emma* Quote:
I just want to leave you some extra special hugs right now Helen. Nicole - yay!! I hope everything continues to go fairly well. *cuddles everyone then runs to corner and tries to hide* |
I would like to thank Kahlia and Voice of Reason for the support they have givin me over the last week.
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It's okay Nicole .... it's what we are here for. Well part of what I'm here for LOL. *cuddles Nicole*
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OMG
I've just seen Grace She is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute |
sends hugs to everyone
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--- I'm having a bad night. Well technically it's morning now. 0533 hours. If I slept it was like 10 minutes and now I'm shaking from head to toe. Blech. Hope everyone else is doing better. *leaves cuddles for everyone* |
*curls up in a corner holding head and cries*
owwwwwwwwwwwwwww I hate migraines!!!! |
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