Well I can defo sympathise with that one. I think I'm even worse. I tend to respond with 'I'm fine' althought I'm clearly not. I'm all cleaned out with venting how I feel tonight, but thanks anyway, and I said some stuff on the previous page. Hope you're coping, even if you're not exactly ok. Stay safe.
xx

Huggles,Yeah I know how that goes, I would probley say the same. I don't want to worry you or anyone by saying how I feel, so erm will stick with Iam fine, even if it's furthest from the truth right now. =(

sometimes. My mum tends to be like "this is happening and this is happening. She doesnt talk about the emotional side...even when I try...and when i do get upset i get told to get a grip

I am not sure why I am so low

*huggles all*

Just finished at the doctors. They were really good about helping me to deal with my anxiety. Now I feel like I need to collapse.
So.over.it.all .....

Guys...I dont feel very good.
Im going for a walk...
I feel shitty

Stay safe Lex *hugs* You have every right to be upset, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Glad to hear to appointment was succsessful Kahlia. The last part of your name is the same as my first name. :) I haven't only just noticed, I'm not that slow, I just thought I would point it out.

*Apies April* How are you this morning? *Hugs*

I for one am exhausted. 5 hours last night and the one before that. None whatsoever the night before that and broken sleep with nightmares about a week before that. Wow I have to catch up, but I doubt I will. Oh well. Who needs sleep. It's a waste of life.

x

Urf... *cuddles all* I feel like a train ran over me...

Last night was full of "drama" between Jarrod & me. Well, as dramaleptic as we get, that is. Which isn't too terribly much. He was just telling me on the ride home from my NP appt how he felt/feels about some things, and they really hurt me... stuff like how he always feels like he starts dreaming again and then has to shoot down all of his dreams (because of me & my needs), and how he doesn't understand why I don't just "swallow my pride" and do more housework (it was about pride before but now I just can't get up the energy to do it, yesterday I really wanted to do the dishes, but I couldn't *cries*), and how he doesn't understand why I need support going to my NP appts and why I can't just drive myself. It just went on and on and then finally he went quiet and I didn't talk to him for the rest of the drive. And then later I burst into tears, cried until I had a tummyache, haven't cried that much in ages. :(

Anyway. So that was last night's drama and we mostly got it sorted. Which is good, because otherwise I wouldn't have slept well last night. :-/ And it turns out that most of my dress clothes are wrapped up in mothballs at my parents' house... so... I'm just going to have to make do with what I've got here for my job interview. >_< Hopefully I'll have time to wash my mothball-y dress clothes before/if I start at the job (if I get it >_< dunno why I keep thinking I'll get it). So, despite how chilly it is out, I think I'll be going with a brown skirt and a black top, with a maroon dressy-ish zip-up fleece for warmth, hah, unless it warms up later. (In case you were wondering, mothball = dead fleas, and apartment = flea infestation... so basically we were just trying to make sure that any fleas in my excess of clothing would dieeeee before we brought them out again. Blah. Stinky mothballs, I hate you. :P)

Anyway. Now I'm rambling. But my head is aching already - got up at 5:20am and have to be awake this afternoon, ahahaha, that ought to be interesting. Awake and coherent, which will be difficult due to sleepiness + ED "side effects." Stupidness.

Sorry. I totally rambled. :( And I did read all of the posts but they are wayyy too many to reply to, about 2 full pages since I last posted... sorry guys. :( *extra cuddles to make up for it?*

There has been over 3 pages since I last posted and a lot going on so sorry for the lack of individuals :S I'm home after spending the night at my parents for my grans 80th , My busy bee day yesterday went okay but 1 appointment I took down the volunteer form and CRB form to the volunteer burero and was shaking SO badly from nerves and Lithium so I talked with my worker there and she made me tea -2 cups I was still shaking after 1 cup- and we went along and I was all pysched up to do it and the manager said I have to go along next Wednesday *Sigh* Nevermind
.

*Hugs the Ward*

Hi am Reaper FTM Transsexual aged 33 from Scotland i have BPD PTSD and psychosis
At the moment am not so safe but i made some one a promise that i wouldn't cut today so am trying not to cut voices are telling me i must cut
that i have to be punished because i am dirty
i feel unclean no matter how much i have a shower am always dirty

Hi Reaper, welcome to the ward. I hope you find this a safe place to be. Remember that you are in control, you don't have to cut. We are all here to support you.

Hi Reaper , Welcome :) I'm Mark.

*cuddles everyone*

I.am.worn.out (Y)

Hi Mark and one step closer

Thank you for the welcomes and the support

Hi Reaper, and Becci and all the other new people that I can't remember. I can't quite keep up with the three+ pages worth, sorry!

Hehe, don't worry Claire, we move fast constantly these days. It's very rare we go quiet all at the same time.

Just don't hesitate to post for support, that goes to all the newbies in here ^_^

I'm struggling not to SI on my arms, I have to go to the gym with my support worker on Monday and I don't want to wear long sleeves. It's so difficult.

What is making you want to SI? Although it will be difficult, can you use going to the gym as a motivation for not SIing?

I don't really know what's triggering me. I won't be able to use the gym as motivation, i'll end up just cutting my legs.

one_step_closer what else can you do ? do you like art? maybe do something arty get your feelings out that way